Do I have hppd?

[bobsyourdad]

 I’ve tripped quite a lot this year at high doses. After a few high doses I thought I was able to handle that level (big mistake, I know) and I didn’t see any side effects so I kept at it. I tripped once every 3 week.

So about a month ago I had a very scary trip. I got the idea that my closed eyes visuals were real. I went into full panic mode and I tried to keep my eyes open. Eventually I managed to calm myself down so the rest of the trip was at least tolerable. 

Ever since that trip, when I close my eyes I feel like I’m visually tripping. It’s usually vague but I’ve noticed the more I focus on the visuals, the more vivid they seem to become.  I also sometimes get a rushing sensation like a wave crashing into my face. A very common hallucination is a big eye staring right at me. My open eye vision is totally fine though weirdly.

Does Anyone have similar experiences? Any recommendations to reduce these effects?

Edited July 27, 2021 by bobsyourdad

[Leo Gura]

I wouldn't even call that HPPD. That's just an expansion of your mind/consciousness.

I suggest you embrace it and enjoy it. A free trip when I close my eyes is something I would pay for. That's like a superpower.

Such things happen with people who meditate or do lots of yoga. The mind simply becomes expanded and more fluid.

[Nos7algiK]

Just like we can carry our insights back over from our trips sometimes are heightened sensory awareness is brought back as well. I agree with Leo and wouldn't call it HPPD either and personally I would take it as a blessing. It happened to me as well pretty early on in my tripping days. I've never talked about it on this forum, but for me it's more than just visual noise but rather my visual field now defies what if physically possible. I obtain what some would call a visual psychic power that is always on. But, besides that I'm not going into detail about what it is for I'm not here to compare my spiritual peen size lol. But, noticing this is what really helped give me faith that all of this was "real" when it comes to awakening and I wasn't just going crazy.

Other than that I can understand why it may be a bit alarming or concerning since you've been years having the same sober state until now. It can make sleeping a bit uneasy specially when it's amplified by closing your eyes or in the dark. My suggestion is to attempt to "look past it" or try not to focus on it at night. Also, try not to attach a negative stigma to what is happening. All is well, take it as a "gift" or a sign that you have progressed and expanded yourself.

Try not to worry also that it will get worse if you do decide to take more psychedelics. It may become slightly more defined or in tune, but you aren't going to ruin your vision by doing more with safe practices.  Again, all is well and try not to read too much on the "scientific" bs on HPPD either. It potentially could just lead to worry, when really the scientific community has pretty much zero idea what they are talking about here.

Edited July 26, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[UNZARI]

@Leo Gura I have virtually the same thing only it’s over my daily vision but definitely gets crazier when I close my eyes. I was worried at first I definitely had to embrace it, it’s kinda beautiful. Sometimes I can imagine life-like scenes on my walls. Helps with art 

[BipolarGrowth]

You unlocked the madness magic part of the mind. Congratulations. You’ve been creating it all along, but now you can finally make quick progress with or without drugs. You just have more fluidity in consciousness. Use the three characteristics of Buddhism (no self, suffering in all experience, and impermanence) to investigate these radical experiences. 

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, UNZARI said:

@Leo Gura I have virtually the same thing only it’s over my daily vision but definitely gets crazier when I close my eyes. I was worried at first I definitely had to embrace it, it’s kinda beautiful. Sometimes I can imagine life-like scenes on my walls. Helps with art 

My vision gets a bit wavy if I meditate a lot.

This is normal and even desirable. It's a neat effect and shows the fluid nature of consciousness.

[UNZARI]

@Leo Gura that’s right I remember in one episode you said something about a monk staring at a Buddha statue for months and it began moving to him. 
 

I think that really helps to put psychedelics in perspective or any hallucinations in general. As you say it’s the fluidity of consciousness 

would you say: More consciousness=More fluidity? When I’m dreaming am I technically more conscious because my imagination is full throttle?

[Leo Gura]

13 hours ago, UNZARI said:

@Leo Gura would you say: More consciousness=More fluidity?

With psychedelics this is true.

Quote

When I’m dreaming am I technically more conscious because my imagination is full throttle?

Dream state is different. The degree of consciousness in a dream is less than normal life unless you are lucid dreaming. And even then it doesn't rise to the level of psychedelics.

[BipolarGrowth]

17 hours ago, UNZARI said:

@Leo Gura that’s right I remember in one episode you said something about a monk staring at a Buddha statue for months and it began moving to him. 
 

I think that really helps to put psychedelics in perspective or any hallucinations in general. As you say it’s the fluidity of consciousness 

would you say: More consciousness=More fluidity? When I’m dreaming am I technically more conscious because my imagination is full throttle?

There are people who can change the color of their whole visual field at will after kasina practice. It’s something I’m gonna have to try out soon https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/29-kasina-practice/

[AtheisticNonduality]

1 hour ago, BipolarGrowth said:

There are people who can change the color of their whole visual field at will after kasina practice. It’s something I’m gonna have to try out soon https://www.mctb.org/mctb2/table-of-contents/part-iii-the-samatha-jhanas/29-kasina-practice/

Fire kasina gets intense. Daniel M. Ingram said he accessed DMT-like states after a few weeks of it.

Edited July 28, 2021 by AtheisticNonduality

[Dingo]

On 26/07/2021 at 6:52 PM, Droo_ said:

@bobsyourdad How old are you? I have a theory that people mainly get hppd when they're between the ages of 17-21but this could be entirely wrong.

Here is another anecdote for your research: my friend did indeed experience HPPD when first tripping on nndmt (low-medium strength), when he was 18. It was for a month or two and although it wasnt serious (he was still able to drive etc.), it was distracting and confusing at times, which made his education more difficult. Since then he never experienced again after taking even more intense doses of psychedelics.

Me trying psychedelics in the age range 18-21 didnt produce anything that I'd dare to call HPPD. The trips just helped me unwire the social script I was given and made me much more (perhaps overly) critical of social structures and authorities, which caused confusion and demotivation as well.

[pluto8]

On 7/27/2021 at 4:25 PM, UNZARI said:

@Leo Gura that’s right I remember in one episode you said something about a monk staring at a Buddha statue for months and it began moving to him. 
 

I think that really helps to put psychedelics in perspective or any hallucinations in general. As you say it’s the fluidity of consciousness 

would you say: More consciousness=More fluidity? When I’m dreaming am I technically more conscious because my imagination is full throttle?

if I stare at something it does not take very long for it to move, but its like im becoming ungrounded. not like the impression i get when reading that the statue began moving to him, that to me implies that it like walked over.....

 

i dont know what I am dealing with.... i hit my head when younger, got lyme disease, inhaled something I shouldnt have, was in a couple crashes, grew up with psychological abuse, grew up with migraines, soo idk....

Im going to be trying neuroptimal and will be seeing a neuro-opthalmology neurologist (lotta neuro-op people dont have a very deep neuro background).

 

if I observe what is like this constant sort of frequency in my mind/vision it can make for an interesting meditation at least.

take my descriptions with a grain of salt tho...ya....

when going over qeeg results with Peter from brain-trainer.com he said it's like my brain's balancing on a knifes edge or trying to (forget which). good description, but knifes edge isnt 100% accurate....

Edited August 6, 2021 by pluto8