Can't focus on basic life because I keep thinking my reality is fundamentally untrue

[romansoloviov]

So I'm not mature enough for enlightenment yet, because I have a lot of survival stuff to handle, like living, relationships, skills, etc; I'd say I'm at least 10 years away from being able to give up material life. I know in my position it's probably best to focus on building life, with maybe spiritual practices just to maintain baseline level of consciousness.

But sometimes I get into these slumps where I keep thinking "Oh, but I already know that my model of reality is fundamentally untrue, so how can I even live life on this false foundation. I have to be enlightened, otherwise I'm living in falsehood". I know logically that most people, including me, can live normally without enlightenment, but I can't get this thought out of my head that I must know how everything "really is" before I can go about living life.

I think that's counterproductive because I don't have nearly enough time to do enlightenment seriously right now, so I'm just spinning my wheels trying to do both survival and enlightenment at the same time, instead of doing one, then the other.

How would you go about solving this?

[Tim R]

@romansoloviov If you can't see that absolute Truth is right here right now, in the most mundane of all situations, you will not see any other time. Because you create an artificial split between enlightenment and normal life.

Let's assume you slip into "enlightenment" by accident within the next 2 days and then "you know". And then you're very satisfied for a while, but then it goes away again and you're "back in normal life". 

Ah, see? That's the split I'm talking about. This split is an illusion. Do not think that you will find enlightenment by abandoning this ordinary material existence, because so long as you make this split, you will not understand the oneness between "ordinary" and "mystical". 

Don't rush, you have plenty of time. Your true nature will not go away, I promise. You don't have to worry about missing out on anything "more special" than "mundane existence". 

22 minutes ago, romansoloviov said:

I know logically that most people, including me, can live normally without enlightenment

What's this "without enlightenment" anyway? Why do you assume that you're unenlightened? Why do you assume that there is such a state as "enlightened" and that you're not a Buddha right now? 

What I'm trying to say is that you have to find a way in between. You're not enlightened, but you're not unenlightened either. And mundane existence is no different from nonduality. How could it?

Your craving for enlightenment is the biggest obstacle to enlightenment. But if you don't chase enlightenment, that itself will become you're biggest obstacle to enlightenment. You're damned if you do and damned if you don't!

So what are you to do? 

Wrong question. 

[Adamq8]

@Tim R Did a good job explaining this, and it is really all you need to know.

I feel imo that this is reality, it includes this exactly as you are experiencing it.

There is a bit of a dangerous thing to feel that reality or your life is an illusion, it is not, but ofcourse it is to but not in the way that you think. 

Some teachings holds that maya is a illusion and false and should be disposed of but that is imo a bias, true nonduality holds everything within it.

It is still here obviously, it is good to focus on material things in life like self help and reach success in your own definition.

Since " illusion is all that there is" it is the game in town.

To create, to experience, to live, to enjoy and to suffer.

Like Tim said, there is plenty of time.

As a matter of fact eternity is what this is appearing as "Time". 

Life your life man! Go create, you have an immense power to create and make things happen.

Check out @Nahm threads about the dreamboard and so forth.

A balance is good to have, to both transcend "life" but make the most out of it to.

Start a mindfulness practice ?

[romansoloviov]

Thanks everyone, that helps.

[Nahm]

On 7/24/2021 at 2:26 PM, romansoloviov said:

Can't focus on basic life because I keep thinking my reality is fundamentally untrue.

Focus is working perfectly & it is a belief that you are not at the helm, in control, or “can’t focus”. That rumination is aversion. It is the busy work of the mind in the avoidance of feeling. When it has become habitual it goes almost unnoticed. ‘Almost’, because it is always felt, anywhere from unsettling & boredom, to tension, frustration and irritation. It traces back to a self referential belief you created in innocent misunderstanding, in reaction to an experience. What you are subtly searching for is a response in understanding, which align that belief with actuality. 

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So I'm not mature enough for enlightenment yet, because I have a lot of survival stuff to handle, like living, relationships, skills, etc; I'd say I'm at least 10 years away from being able to give up material life. I know in my position it's probably best to focus on building life, with maybe spiritual practices just to maintain baseline level of consciousness.

Letting conditioning, and the resistance of it go, is for all ages. As a point of reference, my ten year old is enlightened.

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But sometimes I get into these slumps where I keep thinking "Oh, but I already know that my model of reality is fundamentally untrue, so how can I even live life on this false foundation. I have to be enlightened, otherwise I'm living in falsehood". I know logically that most people, including me, can live normally without enlightenment, but I can't get this thought out of my head that I must know how everything "really is" before I can go about living life.

The innocent arrogance of “the knower”… the “one who knows without even directly experiencing”. You’re shooting yourself in the foot before taking your first step. Focus on how you feel instead of being right. 

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I think that's counterproductive because I don't have nearly enough time to do enlightenment seriously right now, so I'm just spinning my wheels trying to do both survival and enlightenment at the same time, instead of doing one, then the other.

How would you go about solving this?

There already is not a problem and thus there is already no solution. Those are just beliefs, conditioning, a learned way of thinking, which fall away into the practice. Make a dreamboard. Pop your bubbles. 

[Inliytened1]

On 7/24/2021 at 1:26 PM, romansoloviov said:

So I'm not mature enough for enlightenment yet,

Examine why you feel that way?

Notice that perhaps you know within yourself that your ego should live before it dies.  In other words - you know how we are always saying here that form is formlessness.  All is one.  Meaning that the dream you are living is Truth and that everything is in fact Truth since it is One.  But before you can go full circle from form to formless to Oneness - you need to experience form.  When it is time, you will experience formlessness.  And then you will come full circle to realize form is formlessness.   It is all a journey that Awareness takes only to realize there was never really anywhere it went

 

[Thought Art]

Nah, Life is the truth. Your hands are the hands of God. 

[BipolarGrowth]

Work on your normal life and continue serious spiritual practice. If you become fully enlightened, you won’t care whether your finances are good or not. It’s honestly the best retirement plan — a retirement which is just as rich and well lived whether there is lots of money or no money. Always side with Truth. People love to talk about maintaining the relative side of things, and this is precisely what causes suffering for everyone.