I did something evil

[Preety_India]

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

If you're the morally superior one, only the other side has to 'self-reflect' and change into what you want them to be. You don't have to do anything! See how that works to justify your laziness in self-reflection?!

Bro, if a person is told to self reflect it has nothing to do with gender.

 

[Parththakkar12]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Bro, if a person is told to self reflect it has nothing to do with gender.

 

When a guy tells you to self-reflect, how many times have you taken it seriously? Be honest.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

When a guy tells you to self-reflect, how many times have you taken it seriously? Be honest.

Bruh!! Take a seat. How about you do some reflection on female POV.

 

[Parththakkar12]

Just now, Preety_India said:

Bruh!! Take a seat. How about you do some reflection on female POV.

 

Okay, so, never. See?

Very sneaky manipulation. The assumption is that 'If a guy self-reflects, he's going to change into what he wants me to be!' What if that's not true? What if you actually can't change people and the only person you can change is yourself?!

[Preety_India]

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

Okay, so, never. See?

Very sneaky manipulation. The assumption is that 'If a guy self-reflects, he's going to change into what he wants me to be!' What if that's not true? What if you actually can't change people and the only person you can change is yourself?!

Lmao. This can't get funnier!

 

[Parththakkar12]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Lmao. This can't get funnier!

 

I have very good reasons to tell you to self-reflect. If you aren't doing it, in fact, you avoided the question that I asked you, that means that you're not doing it! Pretty reasonable assumption on my part.

Why should I take you seriously if this is the reality about you? I want reasons.

Edited July 25, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

I have very good reasons to tell you to self-reflect. If you aren't doing it, in fact, you avoided the question that I asked you, that means that you're not doing it! Pretty reasonable assumption on my part.

Why should I take you seriously if this is the reality about you? I want reasons.

And nobody will take you seriously if you never try to understand female POV. 

 

[Parththakkar12]

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

And nobody will take you seriously if you never try to understand female POV. 

 

Everything I'm telling you is with a lot of understanding of the female POV. I've spent a good 3 years doing that.

How many years have you spent understanding the male POV? Be honest. And, if the answer to that question is zero, then your advice is self-biased. Given for manipulative purposes.

Edited July 25, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[Parththakkar12]

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

Really ? 

[Parththakkar12]

26 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Really ? 

I counter-attacked so hard that you ran from the battlefield of moral superiority!

[StarStruck]

20 hours ago, flowboy said:

@StarStruck Stop projecting a moral attitude on me, and actually answer my questions.

 

I feel for you. I've been in a position of being hurt, and I know from that position, any criticism will come across as moralization.

I'm not moralizing to you.

I just want you to see the actual point, that there is a state of feeling so good about yourself, and feeling so loved, by yourself and others around you, that you naturally don't want to lash out anymore. And that is why not everyone feels the need to lash out.

There's no sense in trying to force you to attain that. Or in shaming you. Or telling you that it's bad.

Just knowing that it exists, is enough for now.

Don't listen to these people judging you, that's not helping you or them.

The truth is, when this girl hurt you, and you hurt this girl, you both have the same problem: you don't feel loved and secure enough.

She's experiencing a similar level of lack of love, lack of self-love, or traumatization, else she wouldn't feel the impulse to hurt you.

That's what you have in common with her.

Thanks. Are you referring to absolute love?

19 hours ago, cookiemonster said:

 

No, that's the definition of an animal. The definition of a man is protection.

She is not my girl.I'm not captain save a hoe and I'm not here to save every girl out there. They need to earn that privilege.

17 hours ago, digitalkaine said:

you're not evil just conceptually deficient, You convinced yourself that you are not whole already and that by somehow being with this girl will give you some sort of validation. Understand the nature of your trauma that means going back in your mind and finding out what makes you project they way you do and understand without bias, accept what youve done up till this point and forgive yourself. Do the same with the girl dont project your insecurities onto her understand that she is human and that either way she cant give you anything that you dont already have. Acceptance and forgiveness is key. Be radical about it if you want things to change if you dont then dont beat yourself and start applying shit when you're ready.

What you did is not evil you just project toxic behavior onto your environment. When I start feeling anxious or depressed I tell myelf "Present moment" then I try to consciously feel everything within my perception meaning i become one with everything around me. If im in a room I become the room and everything in it, and bring myself to what is actually real and that is the present moment.

Dont hate her for what she has done, if she hurt you it wasnt personal and she nor anyone owes you anything which isnt a bad thing because if you were able to see that you might have been able to connect with her below surface level. In all aspects of your life eliminate neediness. First accept that you are needy and how natural it is for humans to be like that and then continuously spread love to yourself about it. 


keep focusing on your consciousness, and spirituality become radical about it and done hide from yourself. The more you accept your flaws and sins the more confident you will be and the more you will able to prevent things like that in the future because your actively being conscious about being toxic. You're not acting like its not happening and sweeping it under the rug. Learn more about women and their psychology as well as men too and how relationships are built and how attraction works. You projected your idea of evil out of misunderstanding so the more you understand the more you will be at peace.

Leo's video about needy versus non-needy perception helped me to understand what you describe here but I can't help it but be depressed. A broken heart is not easily healed. I'm very bitter how she strung me along for a month, constantly making appointment and cancelling and then just ghosting me not having any regard to my feelings. I have already forgiven her but that doesn't make the pain less. I have a hard time understanding women. They are ruthless, even in this topic they are ruthless towards me. I'm not going to be their doormat any more. They can either accept me or leave me.

I think Parththakkar12 is right, if women can smell insecurity they will latch onto that and exploit insecurities. They definitely not want a guy that is insecure. They treat them like crap. I mean it is OK to not like insecure guys but they don't deserve to be treated like dirt.

2 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Also, the fact that some people are willing to demonize and shame an entire group of people, using shaming language like 'sexist', 'misogynist' to discredit their perspective shows me that you are operating from a space of absolute good vs evil. It is a metaphysical position, that there is an 'absolute good' vs 'absolute evil', it's an 'us vs them' where you're the good ones and they're the evil ones.

When you operate from that space, you are not operating from your rational mind, you are operating from your emotions, you're being emotional. Because, if you look at the reality rationally, there is no such thing as absolute good vs bad! You are operating from a space of fear. This discredits all of your opinions and all of your so-called advice. Your moralization is coming from a space of fear! You lose all credibility to us reasonable people when you do this.

This is irrationality disguised as rationality. More to the point, this is cowardice! Reasonable people looking for reasonable advice legitimately shouldn't listen to you when you do that.

And, all the shit you say? 'Toxic views on the opposite sex', 'acting low-value', 'resentfulness', etc. all of that is a projection. All of it. No exceptions. You're the one with 'toxic views on the opposite sex'. You're the one 'acting low-value' when you do this. You're the one acting out your 'resentfulness' when you do this! Do you think we don't see it?! We do. It's a massive projection.

Most guys haven't seen through this shit. When they do, you're toast. All of this manipulation will stop working! The only thing you have going for you is that what you're doing is socially acceptable. That's gonna change pretty quickly! People are catching on to this.

Your arguments are so on point. Especially on insecurities in men.

Women are nature. Men are culture. And nature is brutal so I don't blame women but at the same time they act like they are not brutal and that I should stay weak, insecure and shouldn't fight back. Fuck that. I'm going to fight back with tooth and nail. And if a somebody double crosses me or does me wrong I will make that other person pay dearly. I'm actually a very stoic person so people shouldn't be afraid that I will become ruthless. All that I'm saying is that I'm going to integrate the masculine energy with my already dominating feminine energy.

 

Edited July 25, 2021 by StarStruck

[Gabith]

@flowboy Thank you I will do this!

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Parththakkar12 said:

I counter-attacked so hard that you ran from the battlefield of moral superiority!

It's not about moral superiority. It's about finding a middle ground where both male and female survival agenda can meet.

 

[StarStruck]

6 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

It's not about moral superiority. It's about finding a middle ground where both male and female survival agenda can meet.

 

That is how a middle ground is negotiated.  By attack and counter attack. You don't want guys to counter attack and just be a cuck to female interests. That is not how it works. In my opinion he makes valid points. From my own experience as a male I can verify him.  

[Preety_India]

Just now, StarStruck said:

That is how a middle ground is negotiated.  By attack and counter attack. You don't want guys to counter attack and just be a cuck to female interests. That is not how it works. In my opinion he makes valid points. From my own experience as a male I can verify him.  

But you have to understand you can't find a middle ground if you only keep fighting the female POV. It's not about sexism or misogyny as he is trying to make it out to be. It's understanding that hurting a woman is not the solution and saying this in no way means moral superiority. That's what I'm trying to explain.

If he were talking about male POV then I would have gladly accepted it because that's male POV which I cannot deny. 

However he is constantly talking about moral superiority which just isn't the case.

Here I'm not exactly fighting male POV but rather something that just didn't exist like a strawman.

It's like if I were discussing dating and he is discussing food. 

You get my point?

 

[StarStruck]

@Preety_India I think you have some regard to male perspective but you still have a lot of deficiencies in your understanding. You are projecting your own behavior onto males. 

This is where it boils down to. We males don't tell females to change for us. No male on this forum ever told a female to change for a male. YOU females (not you specifically) constantly tell males to change. That is the difference. All the while you don't fully understand male POV. 

 

[Preety_India]

Just now, StarStruck said:

@Preety_India I think you have some regard to male perspective but you still have a lot of deficiencies in your understanding. You are projecting your own behavior onto males. 

This is where it boils down to. We males don't tell females to change for us. No male on this forum ever told a female to change for a male. YOU females (not you specifically) constantly tell males to change. That is the difference. All the while you don't fully understand male POV. 

 

The reason you don't females to change because you're attracted to them that's why you don't feel the need to change anything. 

The reason why females tell you and other males to change is because you aren't attractive to us with that behaviour, in fact you push us away with that sort of behaviour (again this is not about moral superiority) you're attracted to a woman's looks mostly but we as females aren't primarily attracted to looks on a male, otherwise male female attraction would have been extremely easy. We're attracted to how a guy presents himself to us whereas you're attracted to how we appear to you and how soft we can be, that's easy to achieve if a female is attractive, yet she won't be attracted to just some random guy..we as women/females are attracted to men who act a certain way with us, make us emotionally and sexually stimulated /fulfilled, that's the guy we give our bodies to. We feel attracted to that guy, we want to be with that guy. So when you or another male describe the behavior you do, it reflects to us as unattractive and we try to tell you how it won't attract and what will work or what is really attractive to us. The problem is that you don't want to accept what we like in a man, you think it's false advice, if what we say is false, then why are you facing failures in your dating skills, if you think that your perspectives about what attracts a woman are true, shouldn't you already be successful with your plans, so we try to correct you and tell you how you are pushing the woman away instead of attracting her..also keep in mind that women are very whimsical so if we reject or flake on you, sometimes it's absolutely for no reason at all. So you don't have to make it personal..these are things that a male won't be able to tell you but only a female knows why she is rejecting men so we would be able to tell you better, we get annoyed when you say "don't ask the fish how to fish " because we aren't dumb or against men attracting us, we would be more than happy if men love us, but how can we allow a man to love us who is unattractive to us through his bad or unwanted behaviours. So we as women also have a point but it seems it's always taken for granted.

 

[Parththakkar12]

@Preety_India The 'pushing away' is intentional because we will not put up with moralization. We mean to do so!

There is a limit to how much criticism you can put up with.

Believe me, we act very differently with women who are more loving than this. Do not generalize us because of what we reflect back to you! That's where the whole confirmation-bias of the 'man bad, woman good' ideology comes in where you start demonizing men who say one wrong thing. 'Sexist', 'misogynist', you name it.

[Preety_India]

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

@Preety_India The 'pushing away' is intentional because we will not put up with moralization. We mean to do so!

There is a limit to how much criticism you can put up with.

Believe me, we act very differently with women who are more loving than this. Do not generalize us because of what we reflect back to you! That's where the whole confirmation-bias of the 'man bad, woman good' ideology comes in where you start demonizing men who say one wrong thing. 'Sexist', 'misogynist', you name it.

What is not attractive gets pushed away automatically. Just rocket science. Anyway it's not a woman's loss, she will get a man who knows how to attract her. Checkmate.