I have noticed that I have a shadow around selfishness. I constantly denigrate myself if I catch myself doing selfish.. This causes me to not engage in self love. Because I see survival as selfish. Obviously I'm not going to argue that survival is selfish, yet this causes me to sort of abandon and guilt myself. I judge myself harshly for surviving.  I judge myself harshly for being selfish.. Often I tend to leave any form of self preservation behaviour because it routinely creates feelings of guilt. Is this because  I'm on a spiritual path where you have to forget the Self. No self is one thing and love is another.. I'm more into embodying Love. But the more loving I try to become, the more selfless I become thus shrinking my survival. This feels like a paradox.  Like I'm walking on a tight rope between two mountains Am I supposed to balance survival and selflessness ? I'm caught between the spiritual world and the material world and I'm at a crossroads. How to approach this paradox I'm experiencing in a more conscious manner?