Needy, Nice, Desperate, Manipulative and Detached Men. Nice men aren't really nice

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

@Preety_India You're not ready, rookie.

You're learning new spiritual insults. Good job on your spiritual progress. 

Now how about if you go radical and throw lettuce at me!

 

[StarStruck]

17 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

It's not the only way.

You can deconstruct your psychology and discover that all needs are imaginary, and that you don't actually need anything at all, even physically.

Of course, that doesn't mean you will stop desiring things. You just see them for what they are. And what they are is a very different thing from what you think they are.

Shadow work is also helpful as it explains the origins of neediness and gives you clarity and a sense of control over your emotions.

How is shadow work going to make me less needy? And what do you mean with deconstructing my psychology? You mean reaching absolute truth?

[Gesundheit2]

@Preety_India  

[Karmadhi]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

I have lived in other countries and cultures as well. Attractive men are everywhere. You're funny when you say western guys are shy. That's not true at all.

Also another guy from Brazil said the same about Swedish guys. I have talked with a lot of people and this is an overall conclusion.

Westerns, at least germans and belgians are more introverted and shy and reserved than lets say americans or spanish. It does not neccesarily mean they are worse or lesser but this is the trend (of course there are exceptions).

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

A lot of times when I was approached, I was at some party, but you have to understand that shy guys won't come to such parties. 

And in general shy guys hesitate to approach girls because they lack confidence to do so.

In these cultures it is super normal to go to parties and get drunk. This is how they socialize, especially when young. When they are drunk they are much more outgoing and that is why they approached you. If same people would approach you sober they would be much less confident and talktive. I have interacted with people from these areas when they were drunk and then later met them sober. It is scary how different they were, they barely talked when sober. Most of the sex that happens in these countries is either from social circle or from parties where everyone is drunk. 

 

This is not just a guy thing. Overall people in northen western countries are more reserved than southern europeans or americans for example. Cultural differences.

Edited July 21, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Preety_India]

Just now, Karmadhi said:

Also another guy from Brazil said the same about Swedish guys. I have talked with a lot of people and this is an overall conclusion.

In my experience Swedish guys are a bit Feminine and shy.

Just now, Karmadhi said:

Westerns, at least germans and belgians are more introverted and shy and reserved than lets say americans or spanish. It does not neccesarily mean they are worse or lesser but this is the trend (of course there are exceptions).

I don't know about Belgians. 

However Italians and Slavic people are confident. 

Also Danish, British, Finnish are quite confident.

Just now, Karmadhi said:

In these cultures it is super normal to go to parties and get drunk. This is how they socialize, especially when young. When they are drunk they are much more outgoing and that is why they approached you. If same people would approach you sober they would be much less confident and talktive. I have interacted with people from these areas when they were drunk and then later met them sober. It is scary how different they were, they barely talked when sober. Most of the sex that happens in these countries is either from social circle or from parties where everyone is drunk. 

Actually I never go to parties to get drunk. I don't drink. I don't like guys who drink.. None of the guys I dated drink.

The parties I'm referring to are not drinking parties but birthday parties ... I'm too shy to be into clubbing and partying lol. 

I gather with friends for partying over food and cakes etc. So all sober people and no drinking.

The guys are confident but not brash. just normal guys , not necessarily good guys but not the typical party guys .

 I'm not into those guys. Most guys I dated aren't extreme, just okayish socially. But definitely not shy.

 

 

[Gesundheit2]

Just now, StarStruck said:

How is shadow work going to make me less needy?

By showing you how and why neediness exists in the first place. You gain awareness over the shadow, which gives you control over it.

6 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

And what do you mean with deconstructing my psychology? You mean reaching absolute truth?

Realizing the absolute truth can be of major help, but you don't necessarily need it per se. You can deconstruct your psychology by asking high quality questions and then answering them yourself, a journal is recommended. Questions like:

• What is a "need", really?
• What does it actually mean for me to need a thing, on the deepest level? Are the things I currently think I need unquestionable? Or is there room for questioning?
• What's the relationship between neediness and thoughts? What thoughts are most frequent when feeling in need for something?
• At what point exactly do I stop needing something and start being more chill about it?
• What are needs as opposed to desires? In what ways are they similar? And in what ways are they different?
• What's the relationship between neediness and feeling? How does it feel (in the body) to need something?

The more you question and contemplate, the more you deconstruct and restore your mind back to its original settings. Then, you will be able to construct things in any way you want, and neediness will not be an issue anymore.

[thisintegrated]

omg.. Preety's posts are * literally * making me consider turning gay.  I might just compromise and find a trap or something.

I'm hoping that the power of Turquoise will expand my awareness to the point of allowing me to change my sexual preferences.  In theory, should be possible.

 

Shit, might have to start a thread on this now.

Edited July 21, 2021 by thisintegrated

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, thisintegrated said:

omg.. Preety's posts are * literally * making me consider turning gay.  I might just compromise and find a trap or something.

Bro don't make it personal. Try to understand female POV..

 

[ZenBlue]

Move beyond the need to categorize and put guys into neat little boxes. No one's going to fit neatly into your little boxes. You will delude yourself into packaging guys as if they are all manufactured at factories. So it seems like guys aren't the only ones to objectify women. Women objectify men as well by trying to put them into boxes.

Yes, you were probably hurt by many guys, but that's part of the dating game. We have all been hurt by others. Trying to gain a sense of superiority by labeling and categorizing people will end badly.

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, ZenBlue said:

Move beyond the need to categorize and put guys into neat little boxes. No one's going to fit neatly into your little boxes. You will delude yourself into packaging guys as if they are all manufactured at factories. So it seems like guys aren't the only ones to objectify women. Women objectify men as well by trying to put them into boxes.

Yes, you were probably hurt by many guys, but that's part of the dating game. We have all been hurt by others. Trying to gain a sense of superiority by labeling and categorizing people will end badly.

Even subconsciously we are always labelling people. That's how human brain works in casting things aside 

 

[thisintegrated]

19 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Even subconsciously we are always labelling people. That's how human brain works in casting things aside 

 

You keep dodging.  He makes a good point.

There's a difference between assigning probabilities to potential truths, and forming firm, judgemental beliefs about reality/people based on emotion.

[Preety_India]

Just now, thisintegrated said:

You keep dodging.  He makes a good point.

There's a difference between assigning probabilities to potential truths, and forming firm, judgemental beliefs about reality/people based on emotion.

These terms are Universal..all over youtube. What do you think Chad is ? Go figure. 

 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India Italians British and Slavic are confident yes.Belgians and germans are like swedish too. French are something in the middle

Edited July 21, 2021 by Karmadhi

[TheLoneSage]

@dflores321  @Karmadhi fr you can still pull and fuck 10 times the amount of girls then the average man. Still being respectful as fuck. Also why do all these redpill dating guys keep ending up with all these crazy bitches doing crazy shit. Talking about “female nature” and how women are Hypergamy. Also idk if it’s just me but the more I develop myself. Girls who just aren’t developed or smart become more of a turn off. I see it as, it’s not that guys are “nice”, it’s they don’t have proper self esteem or boundaries or self whatever. Girls love guys that treat themselves well, that seems to be the formula. Asshole check, gentleman check, nice guy ?. Also 99% of people aren’t awake so obviously they are going to be seeking love externally. Even if they’re not aware of it. My 2 cents to getting better with women. 1 testosterone 2 be conscious AF brah 3 fuck the godhead and stop being a little bitch 

Edited July 22, 2021 by TheLoneSage

[TheLoneSage]

I think if morty got some anybody can 

[Vzdoh]

@Preety_India i met all types in my life except the nice guy. The only guy who comes close is an Indian dude I dated btiefly. But I think he was just a manipulator, using the nice guy facade to fool me. 

Now that I remembered, actually a lot of Indian men pretend to be nice but after I scratch the surface, turn out to be quite manipulative. Maybe its upbringing or something? Haven't noticed it in other guys much. 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Vzdoh said:

@Preety_India i met all types in my life except the nice guy. The only guy who comes close is an Indian dude I dated btiefly. But I think he was just a manipulator, using the nice guy facade to fool me. 

Now that I remembered, actually a lot of Indian men pretend to be nice but after I scratch the surface, turn out to be quite manipulative. Maybe its upbringing or something? Haven't noticed it in other guys much. 

Hehe. I experienced similar things.

 

[Jacob Morres]

@Vzdoh American indian?

[Preety_India]

22 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

@Vzdoh American indian?

The reverse.

 

[Byun Sean]

Exactly. Relationships, dating, and sexuality in a sense is a business deal for the purposes of meeting and fulfilling needs if we take out the love

component for just a second here.

The more conscious and self worth a woman has, the more she loves herself, the more she will naturally screen out vibrationally all guys that vibe at 

lower more selfish frequencies who would potentially hurt her. A high integrity person (more conscious person) sees low integrity from a mile away.

And she will also attract stronger guys into her life.

We allow ourselves to be treated in relationships how we treat ourselves.