Needy, Nice, Desperate, Manipulative and Detached Men. Nice men aren't really nice

[Preety_India]

6 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

His advice has helped people get more sex.

Where am i supposed to get advice? I have watched other sources like RSD, they are not much better.

All this RSD bullshit might work for sex 

But am I talking about sex ?

Then why show me this ?

 

 

Quote

I have talked with more females than you can fanthom. I have talked with successful guys with girls too. These patterns are very clear to see. Even most guys in this forumn would agree with me. Girls dating advice is usually catered from the female POV which is not suitable for guys.

Yea female POV for relationships. But not female POV for sex..

You can use whatever RSD POV if that's helping you get sex.

Sex is not my agenda. I'll only talk about agenda that matters to me.

 

Quote

This is not advice on how to keep a relationship. This is advice on how to get a girl to see you as something more than a good guy, to see you sexually. To get her attracted to you. Most guys struggle with this part, not with relationships.

My advice is never on how to get a person.

It's always on how to keep a relationship. So my advice is irrelevant to you. 

Quote

Well i applied your "good guy definitions" for 22 years and no girl was attracted to that. ZERO. Only like 2 of them were and it was just because they initially found me very physically attractive, once i started to act as you wrote there they got turned off.

 

Again. My  advice is for men who want to have a beautiful relationship with a healthy conscious woman who wants to receive a good man 

 I'm not a pickup teacher.

 

Edited July 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Karmadhi]

13 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Again. My  advice is for men who want to have a beautiful relationship with a healthy conscious woman who wants to receive a good man 

 I'm not a pickup teacher.

That advice is useless if you cannot get a girl in the first place. You make it seem as the hard work is the relationship while the easy part is the attraction. For guys it is the opposite, we rarely need relatiobship advice,especially those that do some sort of personal development. You think people here will become abuse, manipulative and cruel once they are with someone? The biggest struggle is to get them in the first place. Hence pick up advice is all they really need.

14 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

My advice is never on how to get a person.

It's always on how to keep a relationship. So my advice is irrelevant to you

Then do not complain about guys because guys need the opposite of that advice.

15 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Sex is not my agenda. I'll only talk about agenda that matters to me

Sure, but do not shame guys about getting their agenda met.

 

15 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

All this RSD bullshit might work for sex 

But am I talking about sex ?

Then why show me this ?

That is all guys care about. If you want to call guys out it will not work. They will not care. You are targeting guys here.

[Karmadhi]

18 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

healthy conscious woman who wants to receive a good man 

A healthy conscious women will not get attracted to that good man to beggin with  if being good is all he offers. If you give her some love potion then sure, otherwise that good man will be left with his dick in his hand. 

Why should a man be a good man when he will not get a girlfriend at all? Better for him to learn attraction and do some PUA shit and get a girlfriend. However if he becomes so good with girls why should be only be with 1 girl when he can sleep around and have fun.

This would be easily solved if girls were attracted to kindness instead of that PUA shit however the world does not work like that, and me asking this is selfish biased opinion.

At least i am aware that it is selfish.

 

[Preety_India]

27 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

That advice is useless

 

It's only useless if you automatically assume that all guys struggle with attraction.

I dated guys who never struggled with attraction. They don't even have a single pick up book/ course. They don't even know the word pick up. 

You make it sound like pickup is default. It's a niche. It's meant for men who struggle, not for all men 

I have been approached numerous times. And I can tell from personal experience that there are tons and tons of charming guys .

It's difficult to be a woman because I have to control myself and reject them. Otherwise there is no shortage of attractive men. They aren't good guys and so I don't want them. Yet they look attractive and act charming. But that's not what I want so I have to reject.

There is no shortage of players in the market. And they easily get girls . So if you ask them, attraction is not at all hard.

 

Quote

 if you cannot get a girl in the first place. You make it seem as the hard work is the relationship while the easy part is the attraction.

 

Well depends on a person's experience. For some people attraction is easy .

 

Quote

For guys it is the opposite, we rarely need relatiobship advice,

No you do need. If you don't know how to get a girl in the first place, you surely won't know how to keep a girl if you never had a relationship. 

Talking about relationships without experience is like talking about poverty  while being rich 

Quote

especially those that do some sort of personal development. You think people here will become abuse, manipulative and cruel once they are with someone? The biggest struggle is to get them in the first place. Hence pick up advice is all they really need.

I never said that. There is no harm in saying what a healthy relationship entails. This forum is not just for men.  It's also for women.

Have you ever cared to think that I'm simply  presenting female POV and that it might not have anything to do with male pickup strategies ? 

This is not an exclusive male pickup forum, it's called a dating forum where both male and female POV can be presented..Also the thread is not about male pickup , it's not titled that, I didn't have you or pickup in mind while making this thread. Understand that..

Quote

Then do not complain about guys because guys need the opposite of that advice.

Sure, but do not shame guys about getting their agenda met

 

How does talking about my agenda means I'm shaming your agenda ? Where did I say that men shouldn't do pickup ?

I'm talking about how women experience men in dating. 

Don't twist my words only to say something that doesn't make sense 

Nobody was shamed unless you want to make it look that way 

Guys can get what they want. I never told men that they shouldn't want to be with women they want to be with.

 

Quote

That is all guys care about. If you want to call guys out it will not work. They will not care. You are targeting guys here.

I'm not targeting guys. I'm saying why are you showing me what's not relevant to me or my thread. I'm not a pickup guy. This thread is not even about pickup..I'm not calling guys out, so they don't need to care. If you guys care only about pick up then my thread is not for them and they should be giving their time to pickup threads

Edited July 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

22 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

A healthy conscious women will not get attracted to that good man to beggin with  if being good is all he offers. If you give her some love potion then sure, otherwise that good man will be left with his dick in his hand. 

No. healthy conscious women choose healthy Conscious men. 

Quote

Why should a man be a good man when he will not get a girlfriend at all? Better for him to learn attraction and do some PUA shit and get a girlfriend. However if he becomes so good with girls why should be only be with 1 girl when he can sleep around and have fun.

Who is stopping you ?

If a woman wants to be with a good man, her choice.

If you want to be with many girls, your choice.

Stating my choice is a problem?

 

Quote

This would be easily solved if girls were attracted to kindness instead of that PUA shit however the world does not work like that, and me asking this is selfish biased opinion.

At least i am aware that it is selfish.

 

Conscious women are attracted to kind men. You can't decide what someone is attracted to .. nobody stops you from attracting who you want to attract 

Edited July 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[tsuki]

@Preety_India Relationships are about exchanging value.

Commitment is when apart from having your needs, you are willing to fulfill the needs of your partner. The trick is that both parties have to understand this and simultaneously agree to act on this understanding.

If either end stops needing, or giving, it breaks apart. Your categorization can be simplified using these two dimensions of needing and giving.

Nevertheless, I think it is pretty accurate.

[Preety_India]

Just now, tsuki said:

@Preety_India Relationships are about exchanging value.

Commitment is when apart from having your needs, you are willing to fulfill the needs of your partner. The trick is that both parties have to understand this and simultaneously agree to act on this understanding.

If either end stops needing, or giving, it breaks apart. Your categorization can be simplified using these two dimensions of needing and giving.

Nevertheless, I think it is pretty accurate.

Thank you. I also believe the same principle about giving and needing. 

You're right that both sides have to be fulfilled in their needs. It shouldn't be one sided otherwise it's not a relationship.

I like how you described it. Exactly my point.

 

[tsuki]

@Preety_India I think it's nice that you share your thoughts that exceed the usual whiny male mindset. I don't think it's necessary for you to defend them from people that want to argue.

Too bad that we don't get to provide a similar taxonomy for kinds of partners that work. If they works we only get to experience one exemplar.

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, tsuki said:

@Preety_India I think it's nice that you share your thoughts that exceed the usual whiny male mindset. I don't think it's necessary for you to defend them from people that want to argue.

Too bad that we don't get to provide a similar taxonomy for kinds of partners that work. If they works we only get to experience one exemplar.

Yup.

 

[Nos7algiK]

4 hours ago, dflores321 said:

In a sense it's like you're creating a more and more elaborate web of confusion with these simple statements.

Let go of that, be here. 

Relationships are mirrors, what you want from another is what you want for yourself. 

The thing I really want to express here is that it seems like you're expecting this magical man to arrive, but you think that you're 100% innocent and that's what's weird. No offense, really. 

You attract yourself, I'm surprised no one else tells you this here. 

Simple: Transform yourself and your magical man will arrive. That's it. 

 

3 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I don't agree with this.

Just like that, the best advice that has been given within this entire thread has been denied. I truly don't understand why more people don't say this type of advice either considering it's an actualization forum lol....

 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

t's only useless if you automatically assume that all guys struggle with attraction.

I dated guys who never struggled with attraction. They don't even have a single pick up book/ course. They don't even know the word pick up. 

Sure, some guys are naturals. Many are not. Also it really depends where you live. I have experienced both eastern and western europe and the difference is huge. Western guys are a lot more shy, needy, weak and lame and hence they need pick up more. You live in India so i assume indian guys are stronger than western guys.

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

It's difficult to be a woman because I have to control myself and reject them. Otherwise there is no shortage of attractive men.

You can find a good guy that has some charm. Not hard at all. If you live in a place where most guys are charming then it should be easy to find one that is both charming and self developed.

 

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

No you do need. If you don't know how to get a girl in the first place, you surely won't know how to keep a girl if you never had a relationship. 

A kind guy will not be able to attract but it is easy to build good relationships with him. A pua attracts and fucks girls easily but due to his nature it is hard for him to keep them. A kind caring guy will tend to be usually also submissive (no attraction), but that behaviour makes it easy to keep a relationship together and act responsible if he magically gets it.

 

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Have you ever cared to think that I'm simply  presenting female POV and that it might not have anything to do with male pickup strategies ? 

Your posts tend to critize men a lot. I am referring in general. You clearly have some issues with guys survival agenda and i do not blame you for it. I also am annoyed by the female agenda sometimes. 

 

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

How does talking about my agenda means I'm shaming your agenda ? Where did I say that men shouldn't do pickup ?

I'm talking about how women experience men in dating. 

Don't twist my words only to say something that doesn't make sense 

Nobody was shamed unless you want to make it look that way 

My bad, i apologize.

 

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

Conscious women are attracted to kind men.

Wise women are attracted to kind men would be a better statement.

[Nos7algiK]

@dflores321 Agreed, it's difficult for the ego to accept responsibility for all of this. "It's not them, it's me."

But, once that is accomplished it's one of the most liberating ways to be. Life will start falling into place and there can only be love manifested in one's own reality if they love themselves unconditionally. That is the divine secret, but it's not secret for it's one of our deepest truths that's buried within all our lies.

[RendHeaven]

The outer world reflects your inner world.

 

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India

Sure, some guys are naturals. Many are not. Also it really depends where you live. I have experienced both eastern and western europe and the difference is huge. Western guys are a lot more shy, needy, weak and lame and hence they need pick up more. You live in India so i assume indian guys are stronger than western guys.

I have lived in other countries and cultures as well. Attractive men are everywhere. You're funny when you say western guys are shy. That's not true at all.

I have been approached by men from different cultures and none of them were shy.

A lot of times when I was approached, I was at some party, but you have to understand that shy guys won't come to such parties. 

And in general shy guys hesitate to approach girls because they lack confidence to do so. 

And it's difficult with shy guys. I rarely ever interacted with them and when I did, it always ended in him saying a few words and the conversation not going anywhere. 

And I'm a shy girl myself so I'm less likely to push a conversation. 

However confident and shy men, both are found in all cultures. 

 

Quote

You can find a good guy that has some charm. Not hard at all. If you live in a place where most guys are charming then it should be easy to find one that is both charming and self developed.

This is absolutely false. Just like you get rejected a lot or it doesn't work out, similarly it's a falsehood to believe that it's easy to find a good guy. It's not easy at all. Most guys who approach are not only confident, often this confidence comes with some cockiness and a slew of other traits that are not desirable in a relationship. A lot of these guys are players because they have practiced approaching a lot and used similar tricks with other women. Searching for a good guy in such men is like looking for a needle in a haystack. You're trying to dismiss challenges of the female POV. 

 

Quote

A kind guy will not be able to attract but it is easy to build good relationships with him. A pua attracts and fucks girls easily but due to his nature it is hard for him to keep them. A kind caring guy will tend to be usually also submissive (no attraction), but that behaviour makes it easy to keep a relationship together and act responsible if he magically gets it.

This is not true. In reality anybody can be attractive. I have seen women with kind husbands and I never thought that their husbands were unattractive. 

Quote

 

Your posts tend to critize men a lot. I am referring in general. You clearly have some issues with guys survival agenda and i do not blame you for it. I also am annoyed by the female agenda sometimes. 

Nope. They're just misconstrued because they don't fit into male agenda. 

 

Quote

 

My bad, i apologize.

 

Wise women are attracted to kind men would be a better statement.

I think Consciousness  also creates a certain wisdom. I'm not attracted to bad men and I'm sure lot of women aren't. It's hard to find conscious people especially in the area of dating, irrespective of gender.

 

 

Edited July 21, 2021 by Preety_India

[Logan]

@StarStruck Stop trying to “seem” less needy. Work on yourself to become less needy. Then you won’t have to try and hide it (manipulation)

These separate categories are all symptoms of the same problem. Weakness.

Edited July 21, 2021 by Logan

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Logan said:

@StarStruck Stop trying to “seem” less needy. Work on yourself to become less needy. Then you won’t have to try and hide it, which is manipulation.

Agree 

 

[StarStruck]

8 minutes ago, Logan said:

@StarStruck Stop trying to “seem” less needy. Work on yourself to become less needy. Then you won’t have to try and hide it (manipulation)

These separate categories are all symptoms of the same problem. Weakness.

Only way to not be needy is to get what you want. 

There is a great saying. The hungry don't get fed. And the people who are not hungry get fed. 

The question is how to get out of the paradox. I know I shouldn't pretend and just be less needy but how. 

[Gesundheit2]

15 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

Only way to not be needy is to get what you want. 

It's not the only way.

You can deconstruct your psychology and discover that all needs are imaginary, and that you don't actually need anything at all, even physically.

Of course, that doesn't mean you will stop desiring things. You just see them for what they are. And what they are is a very different thing from what you think they are.

Shadow work is also helpful as it explains the origins of neediness and gives you clarity and a sense of control over your emotions.

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

It's not the only way.

You can deconstruct your psychology and discover that all needs are imaginary, and that you don't actually need anything at all, even physically.

Of course, that doesn't mean you will stop desiring things. You just see them for what they are. And what they are is a very different thing from what you think they are.

Shadow work is also helpful as it explains the origins of neediness and gives you clarity and a sense of control over your emotions.

Grrrrrr

Spiderman facepalm.

 

 

[Gesundheit2]

@Preety_India You're not ready, rookie.