50mg 5-meo-dmt | A Tale Of A Legendary Hero Breaking Through

[Psychonaut]

PART 1:

Ladies and gentleman,
boys and girls,
Welcome and enjoy the show!

After 2 weeks of fucking around in the mountains and lush valleys of Canabonea our hero is sick of it. He is sick and tired of procrastinating,
not getting anything done and watching far too much porn.

The legendary esports historian Duncin *Thoorin* Shields had recently opened a second youtube channel to discuss topics not related to esports.
Our hero had watched Thoorins legendary epic video on the Bard Terrence McKenna. Not having read much about McKenna our hero listened intently to what Thorin had to say. 

McKenna had talked much about the heroic dose. He would advocate taking high amounts of Psylocybin and going into a dark room with lights turned off and in complete silence. Our hero wanted to get serious. He wanted the hero to shine inside of him in a bright light.
He decided to take 50mg meoooooow in a dark room without any music. Balls to the walls.
Our hero always, repeat always has music going on when tripping. But not this time. 
Completely dark also sounds like a fucking terrible idea. But our hero was tired and willing to sacrifice himself for the greater good.
While he was weighing out 50mg on his high precision tesla mega milligram scale. The scale wasn't that great afterall. 
Our hero had to recalibrate the scale 3 times till the 10g weigths used to calibrate actually showed up on the scale as 10.000g.
After our hero had calibrated the scale to the desirec accuracy he preceeded to finely chop the meow into a fine powder with a pocket knife.

Our hero prepared 4 lines on his movie grade mirror plate with the perfect size hand cut from a broken mirror.
Our hero was starting to get second thoughts when he starred at the surely madness inducing amount of fine powder that was on the mirror.
Our hero had to remind himself that he was doing the heroic dose today. Our hero started to sniff the meow.
He even scrapped off all the bits that had been missed and made 3 more lines off all the bits that had been missed and made sure he had gotten every last bit of the 50mg meow into his nose.

The floor had been fully cleared off all the cables. All chargers and electronics had been completely unplugged and stowed away by our hero.
Our hero made sure there was a bucket next to his bed. He was ready. 
He didn't wan't to puke but knew that at this insane dosage it was very likely to happen. He was ready to go.
Our hero got up from his chair and switched of the lights. He had completely unplugged everything and the room was completely dark.
Everything but the wifi router had been unpluggedd. 
"You know when there is no wifi signal around you anymore you die, John. You just drop dead like a sack of potatoes."

PART 2:

Our hero turned of the lights and returned to his desk in complete darkness. He found his desk chair which he had quite trouble getting on. 
Our hero was starting to feel the effects of the heroic legendary epic dose of 50mg pure 5-meo-dmt.
Our hero bent forward so the holy meow wouldn't run down his throat. He remembered the revolting taste from his previous quests where he was still fucking around. 
He rubbed his nose and massaged in the meow so none of it would go to waste and the final boss could be defeated.
It was starting and our hero was starting to feel it as well. It was getting serious. Our hero was on his honorly quest to
"Make reality great again - Getting the real in reality back!" He was ready for the martyr hero act of dark room 50mg meow ultimate boss battle.
He was sitting on his chair breathing in and out. His heart was pounding. After a while there was nothing but his breath and his heart pounding like never before. It was like a small explosion everytime it beat, so powerful.

Our hero needed to lie down in his bed with the bucket next to it. He got up and preceeded to go in the direction of his door.
Going probably needs a pretty drastic redefinition here. This was more like scrambling with arms stretched and crouched on the floor in a completely dark room.
Our hero had completely lost all sense of orientation. He had gotten up and forgotten where he actually wanted to go. There was a beating heart, a breathing breath and darkness. That's it. He felt like he had been thrown into outer space in darkness with nothing else around him. But there was a light to be seen where the door was. He needed to go there. "Where am I now?". He had walked into a wall. 
There was an object there. But what was it? It was giving way. It was his huge majestic mirror! But how had he gotten there?
He initially had gone to the right, but he had ended up going to the back! Completely lost in his own room he saw the light of his door. 
He needed to get to the light from his door. He somehow got there and opened the door. Booooooya blinding light. He closed the door again.
He had forgotten that the door was unlocked. He had left it open so his friend could come help him. He couldn't see his light switch anymore.
But he felt where it was. He turned on the lights and left them on so he could get to his bed. 

PART 3:

The hero closed the door and stumbled to his bed and lay down.
He had arranged the blanket on his bed in a way that he could lean against it as if he was lying on a couch. 
He had read about it in the "tales of the legendary hero Azrael" who had suggested lying on a sofa for safe boss fights. 
Our hero was lying on his side with his neck leaned forward so as to not loose any holy meow. Our hero's sense of self was fading very quickly.
There were bits of ego still hanging on like flesh on a bone. The meow was gnawing away on the bone. The last shreds of ego were going insane.
Our hero was feeling a mind numbing sense of insanity that he can't describe. Just completely mentally insane. Terrifying for our hero's ego.

Completely overwhelmed our hero had to follow his destiny. He had to surrender. The wordless and unspoken question "Are you ready" came up.
On previous trips our hero was not ready. He had said NO! He hadn't wanted to die. He wanted to live! But today was different. He knows this is it 
and he knows clearly that he is ready. No fucking around today. He had to let go. He had to completely let go! He had to die. And if you have 
never come to this point you have no fucking idea what our hero was experiencing. Actual fucking death. Not the stupid word death. Real tangible death.
You are lying on your death bed and you know you are going to die. You breath your last breath and you are gone. Dead. Yes that is the feeling.
You can't compare it to an ego loss experience on LSD or during meditation or anything like that. Meow is fast, very fast. One second there is a gun 
at your head then you say shoot me and the next second you are vaporized. 

Our hero's heart was beating balls to the walls out of the fucking roof and then just stopped. Goodbye heart. Heart beat gone, body gone. Motionless
he was lying in bed. A dead body. He has no recollection of how long he was in this state. 
Eventually our hero came back into reality. A reality in which his body felt like a rotten moushy tomato. A round pile of cells. He was lying on his side.
He was rolling back and forth with nauseau building up to a point of no return. He had to vomit his guts out. He leaned over and managed to locate the bucket.
Gasping for air he felt like he was dying and continued to puke. He was certain his friend was going to come and pat him on the back, but he didn't.
He had eaten many hours before. He hadn't eaten anything special so wasn't sad about puking it out.
Vomiting felt to our hero like a lump of something which should have not been there had left the body. Like a lump of cells from his
body had been dumped into the world. And he was this lump of cells that had been born. An alive pile of cells! The first breath after puking when he
was gasping for air felt like the first breath of a newborn when it is dumped into the world and the doctor pats it on the back. 

Breathing and still gasping for air he realized that he was still alive! He had made all the necessary precautions and survived! He was alive
and the sense of the body came back. Like it uses to in this weird way were the body at first doesn't really feel like it is your own.
It feels a bit foreign at first until it's completely back. 

PART 4:
Our hero had to wash his hands and got up to do so. Our hero ended up washing his entire body under the shower. 
We are still waiting for the relase of the tale of the epic first shower. Our hero only had to say "Such shower, much sensual OMFG".
Our hero was hungry. He wanted to eat something. On the way to the kitchen he already heard the loud music of his friend who was in the kitchen.
While having a deep converation about the dangers of AI with his friend he created some divine culinary masterpieces. First our hero had to refill his 
vaporizer with the legendary Jack Herer strain of the Gods. After that our hero started chopping vegetables, frying tofu, onions and some eggplants to create some sandwiches.

After about an hour of work the legendary sandwiches were finished and were added to our hero's memory of explosive culinary experiences never to be forgotten. The taste of such magnificence that our descendants will still sing about them in hymns in the upcoming centuries.
But before the hero had finished eating the first masterpiece the hero's friend left to take a nap and possibly wank.
Our hero began thinking about ways to tell of this epic battle and fetched his tablet to compile what you just read.

[Leo Gura]

@Psychonaut So what did you become conscious of???

Sounds like you just scared yourself to death with 50mg in darkness, but didn't glean much insight.

Remember that this is not a macho contest. The measure of success is how much insight you get into the structure of reality.

[Dodo]

I am wondering, how is it like real death, if people know they have taken a dose of something that will make them feel like they're dying. Its like, yea sure, its like real death, but you already know its fake, cause you got the information... If in reality someone was holding a gun to your head i bet you wouldnt want to get shot... Because That is real death, not this.

[Psychonaut]

@Leo Gura For me the biggest takeaway is the actual experience of ego death. What I wanted was to force it. That was the whole point of going to this extreme. Now that I know its safe it will hopefully be easier for me to let go on lower doses.

For me meow is a tool to cut through bullshit. For this reason I haven't added my interpretations. Its just more bullshit. Because who am I? What have I understood or seen? Nothing and there is no reason to interpret it. These interpretations would have no value for you as a reader in any case. Only if you believe that I am enlightened or more trustworthy/knowledgeable than you. But I am just some guy on the internet just like you are. 

In our western society there is no imminent threat of death. However I believe that the brain is wired to defeat itself against a threat like predator animals. Have you ever been mugged, beaten up or had to deal with a real close death experience? Probably not. I feel like I appreciate life much more now that it has been taken away from me during my trip. Just that alone makes this trip worthwhile for me.