Rape Fantasy is not Rape!! Difference between Rape and Rape Fantasy

[Preety_India]

The stigma/shame surrounding rape Fantasy is so unnecessary and is a way of shaming women's sexual desires. Not all women have rape fantasies but those who do are routinely uncomfortable opening up about it because a lot of men simply interpret this desire as RAPE. No it's not rape. It shouldn't be used as an excuse for justifying non consensual forceful sexual activity or rape. It's not an invite for rape. That's an awful interpretation and suppression of rape Fantasy.

These women break down the whole concept of rape Fantasy so beautifully in this video. It needs a very open minded outlook. A lot of stage Blue mentality is going to be opposed to it. However it's simply sexual desire that's far too common than you think. It's just that women don't talk about it too openly because of the stigma and taboo associated with it.

Rape Fantasy is a way of pleasuring the woman the way she wants it, not non consensually raping her !!

 

I like this specific comment that sums it up.

 

 

 

[Peter Miklis]

Just like any other fetish, it's a roleplay. Woman pretends to be a victim, while "rapist" "rapes".

[Chew211]

@Peter Miklis

If you had a chance to read about the phallus and sexuation, a way to put that into psychoanalytic terms is: "men" want to have the phallus, and "women" want to be the phallus. Rape fantasy is just a very clear expression of that. 

[Hulia]

When children play a game where they chase and "kill" one another, the winner is the "survivier", it doesn´t mean they really want to be killed or kill. The same with rape fantasy.

[Preety_India]

7 minutes ago, Hulia said:

When children play a game where they chase and "kill" one another, the winner is the "survivier", it doesn´t mean they really want to be killed or kill. The same with rape fantasy.

Nice analogy.

 

[RickyFitts]

RE the stigma/shame surrounding rape fantasy, what did you have in mind exactly? I wasn't aware that there was a stigma about it beyond an unspoken assumption that there must be something wrong with it based on the fact that we've collectively agreed, rightly, that rape is unacceptable, though I'm rather out of the loop these days so I might have missed something.

But yes, of course there's a world of difference between rape and rape fantasy, the key word being consent as you say. I've personally engaged in such fantasies with a sexual partner and it was great to explore our sexuality in that way, I think that can be a very healthy, liberating thing to do provided there's no coercion involved.

[Preety_India]

20 minutes ago, RickyFitts said:

RE the stigma/shame surrounding rape fantasy, what did you have in mind exactly? I wasn't aware that there was a stigma about it beyond an unspoken assumption that there must be something wrong with it based on the fact that we've collectively agreed, rightly, that rape is unacceptable, though I'm rather out of the loop these days so I might have missed something.

The stigma is created by the confusion that many people have which is they assume that rape Fantasy is rape. This causes them to automatically assume that anyone talking about rape Fantasy is condoning rape. 

However it's a fetish that simulates a rape like bdsm scenario only for pleasure derived from dominance. However some people (I'm not sure if they do this purposely ) misunderstand it and think that women must like rape? Women don't like rape nor are they supporting non consensual rape that is discussed in the video. Non consensual rape is a crime and shouldn't be condoned because it is forceful and without consent.

But some people try to blur these lines(may be they want to take advantage of blurred lines, I think you got what I meant )

 

[RickyFitts]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

The stigma is created by the confusion that many people have which is they assume that rape Fantasy is rape. This causes them to automatically assume that anyone talking about rape Fantasy is condoning rape. 

However it's a fetish that simulates a rape like bdsm scenario only for pleasure derived from dominance. However some people (I'm not sure if they do this purposely ) misunderstand it and think that women must like rape? Women don't like rape nor are they supporting non consensual rape that is discussed in the video. Non consensual rape is a crime and shouldn't be condoned because it is forceful and without consent.

But some people try to blur these lines(may be they want to take advantage of blurred lines, I think you got what I meant )

 

Right, I see what you're saying. The psychology of rape fantasy is something I've long found interesting, it's something that initially seemed quite perverse to me. But that probably says as much about my ignorance of female sexuality as anything. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, RickyFitts said:

Right, I see what you're saying. The psychology of rape fantasy is something I've long found interesting, it's something that initially seemed quite perverse to me. But that probably says as much about my ignorance of female sexuality as anything. 

I can't blame you 

 

[Parththakkar12]

@Preety_India Preferably don't call it a rape-fantasy. Using the word 'rape' makes it really politically incorrect and it can send the wrong message to the wrong kind of guys. Calling it S&M or BDSM is a much better idea in my opinion!

[Preety_India]

@Parththakkar12 I have really no idea who coined the term rape Fantasy..

However I don't see a problem because that's exactly what it is, it's a fantasy about rape. So that's what it has to be called. Although it seems uncomfortable, but one has to accept that this is an uncomfortable aspect of female sexuality.

Despite that, one can always choose to not stigmatize it 

 

[Parththakkar12]

@Preety_India I don't know, man. Are you sure you can make it safe for yourself? And that the fantasy isn't a trauma response?

The fact that you insist on using the word 'rape' is making alarm-bells go off in my mind about this.

I cannot comprehend the feeling of unsafety or boundary-violation being a turn-on. I don't get it.

Edited July 21, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[Preety_India]

3 minutes ago, Parththakkar12 said:

@Preety_India I don't know, man. Are you sure you can make it safe for yourself? And that the fantasy isn't a trauma response?

The fact that you insist on using the word 'rape' is making alarm-bells go off in my mind about this.

I cannot comprehend the feeling of unsafety or boundary-violation being a turn-on. I don't get it.

You have to understand that it's consensual. 

So there is no violation of boundaries. 

The turn on factor is the feeling of being dominated just like in BDSM.

Safety can be an issue and so I wouldn't recommend playing out these fantasies with a stranger but with someone who is in an intimate relationship because they can keep it safe if they're the kind of people who you can trust .

This fantasy is found regardless of whether the person has trauma or not. So it has no correlation to trauma.

It is simply a domination fetish.

Why does it always have to be some victimhood bullshit, when it's a woman's turn to experience pleasure ?

Why can't a woman experience pleasure guilt free without being shamed or made to feel like she is doing something wrong when she is simply enjoying the experience ?

Is a woman's experience of pleasure so threatening to you ?

 

[Parththakkar12]

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You have to understand that it's consensual. 

So there is no violation of boundaries. 

I get that it isn't actual rape, that there aren't any actual boundary-violations, if the implementation goes according to plan, which is its own can of worms. But the idea of 'rape', which is a boundary-violation, apparently turns you on...? Correct me if I'm wrong.

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The turn on factor is the feeling of being dominated just like in BDSM.

What's the difference between a rape-fantasy and BDSM?

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

This fantasy is found regardless of whether the person has trauma or not. So it has no correlation to trauma.

I would suggest you do deeper research into this. Because if it is rooted in trauma, the sexual experience will be a reliving of that trauma! There are a lot of pretty serious ways it could go wrong.

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

It is simply a domination fetish.

I would hesitate to call a domination fetish a 'rape fantasy' though. The devil really is in the details of how you put it. You're using a term that's associated with disrespect and unsafety. That doesn't have to be the case with a domination fetish!

17 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Why does it always have to be some victimhood bullshit, when it's a woman's turn to experience pleasure ?

Why can't a woman experience pleasure guilt free without being shamed or made to feel like she is doing something wrong when she is simply enjoying the experience ?

Is a woman's experience of pleasure so threatening to you ?

It's concerning because when you're using the term 'rape fantasy', what this tells me is that you're somehow liking and fetishizing the aspect of degradation/humiliation in the experience. This tells me that it's a trauma-response!

A different kind of domination fetish doesn't have to be that way. There are more respectful ways of doing domination/submission!

Edited July 21, 2021 by Parththakkar12

[Preety_India]

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

I get that it isn't actual rape, that there aren't any actual boundary-violations, if the implementation goes according to plan. But the idea of 'rape', which is a boundary-violation, apparently turns you on...? Correct me if I'm wrong.

It's not the idea of rape. It's the idea of domination.

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

What's the difference between a rape-fantasy and BDSM?

I would say there's not much difference. It's a sub type of BDSM, like one of the fetishes. 

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

I would suggest you do deeper research into this. Because if it is rooted in trauma, the sexual experience will be a reliving of that trauma! There are a lot of pretty serious ways it could go wrong.

Nope. This is where people are constantly trying to associate rape Fantasy and rape. The word you forget is consent. 

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

I would hesitate to call a domination fetish a 'rape fantasy' though. The devil really is in the details of how you put it. You're using a term that's associated with disrespect and unsafety. That doesn't have to be the case with a domination fetish!

Because that's how bdsm works. It involves things that don't feel safe to a person who is not experiencing it. But this is fantasy and it involves safety protocols.people who practice don't violate boundaries unless they're some freaks who are taking advantage of it. 

To an outsider it appears like violence..but the beating and kicking or tying the body in bdsm is not violence but experience of pleasure 

Be careful with blurring the lines..

Just now, Parththakkar12 said:

It's concerning because when you're using the term 'rape fantasy', what this tells me is that you're somehow liking and fetishizing the aspect of degradation/humiliation in the experience. This tells me that it's a trauma-response!

A different kind of domination fetish doesn't have to be that way.

Hahaha. Domination fantasy involves humiliation. Humiliating words are used. The guy will say "call me a master" which might easily trigger people who are not into kinky sex..but in bdsm communities the usage of such words is fairly common..however this has nothing to do with trauma. It is an experience of pleasure. 

 

[Spiral]

I heard this comes from a suppressed sexually in which the girl feels wrong for wanting sex so she has this fetish so she doesn’t have to want to.

So it can be a response to slut shaming.

Edited July 27, 2021 by Spiral

[Preety_India]

@Spiral could be specific to that girl. 

But for me it's an enjoyable fetish.