Tried playing the Social Matrix & felt My Soul Burning

[Ozy]

December 5th 2019 my Birthday  sitting on a beach in the Caribbean "Trinidad & Tobago" High on 600ug of LSD After Losing My Business & end up Broke with no Life Lines, Came up with a plan   to Play the Social Matrix Game by joining Islam 

 

Went home read Machiavelli The Prince & a few of Robert Greene books 48 laws of power & those types, a week after  Went to the biggest Mosque Said i was lost & suicidal & needed  god. Took shahada Became a Muslim

 

Played the Islamic Social Matrix Game, Start Working in the Mosque Became the right hand & personal assistant  to the Manager of the Mosque. Islam in my country is more of a Political Tool to rally a community & use those numbers to get contracts from the government for votes when election time comes . i saw that & how  to use islam to climb the Political larder BUT i was still a nihilist atheist 

Every time  i bowed to pray 5 times a DAY because i was working in the Mosque, i felt my soul burning.  in islam you have to constantly praise Muhammad & go on about the beauty & wonders of Allah &   saying those words felt disgusting. but i was building social power & getting  closer & closer to the inner circles 

 

Ill keep this short that went on for a while my soul was slowly grinded down. Started smoking to get rid of the endless though had to get blazed out my mind to pray  among others & play the good Muslim roll. after a while my boss the manager offered me his daughter  to marry  I saw the political & community power i could have had  if i accepted But i also saw the hell i was trapping myself in 

 

Left December 2020 & decided to pick up a skill graphic design  so i wont have to sell my soul just to eat. to this day  the demons voices comes to me & tells me about all the power i could i had only if i sold my soul to Allha

 

& when i say Allah im not talking about GOD the Source  im talking about that collected ego Abrahamic entity  But i went from a just  Atoms in the Void Atheist to Seeing a Whole New world so it wasn't all bad 

[diamondpenguin]

Dont worry your not alone, my soul is on fire.