Consciousness. Manipulation, my confession

[Godishere]

Over the past decade, I've always seen girls as a means to fullfil my selfish desires; whether that be sexually, emotionally, validation etc. After a massive awakening and realization, I have become aware I can no longer manipulate girls into sleeping with me. I would never be honest with my intentions and it was always just a way to get sex for me. I took and never gave. I would never be honest that it was just sex for me, and that I wouldn't even think of commiting to these girls but I would tell a white lie. In hindsight, I've become aware that this is very manipulative and all I'm doing is hurting myself(as I have become more conscious everything is me). 

I'm at a turning point in my life where I feel I'm exactly where I deserve to be(single and alone). I can be honest with girls that I just want something casual with them, but what is even the point. 

My question is this, how can I even seriously date someone now when I know all I'm doing is taking? it's all stemming from selfishness and survival. I want something from them. I know in my soul that isn't love. Love is giving without the need for attachment from anything or anyone. 

[OneHandClap]

Well, why not view it as a communal exchange? You are not a parasite that just takes unless you have nothing to offer (or do not wish to offer anything) your partners. If you can provide something for them, and they can provide something for you, there's a possibility for real connection. You can always express the type of love you are describing here. The dating game involves a lot of survival instincts brushing up against other instincts, yes, but in a longer-term relationship the unconditional love seeps out. That is what builds genuine connection. 

[Godishere]

@OneHandClap thanks man. That actually makes alot of sense. I guess we can't live from a state of Absolute consciousness all the time and we also have real survival needs and desires. I mean we can obviously agree that morality is completely relative, but who am I really harming with my behavior

[OneHandClap]

2 hours ago, Godishere said:

@OneHandClap thanks man. That actually makes alot of sense. I guess we can't live from a state of Absolute consciousness all the time and we also have real survival needs and desires. I mean we can obviously agree that morality is completely relative, but who am I really harming with my behavior

Yes, absolutely. You have got the right of it. While everything exists within the Absolute frame, we are all living currently from a limited human POV. Thus, we should do our best to follow the human interaction rules that build the sort of world we would like to inhabit. We should not, however, feel shame about doing normal human things and enjoying our lives. That would spoil the absurdity of existence

Next time you're out with a girl, just try taking a really serious interest in her. Try to enjoy your time with her as being like a zoo visit. You don't know anything about her, so you can learn so much from just observing, being intrigued, and letting her express herself as she is.