Methods to heal trauma/shadow

[SelfLove]

I have been really interested in trying to uncover the unconscious aspect of myself that have been repressed possibly due to due childhood neglect, being the “odd” kid. 

On the surface I appear to be a really put together, mature person. But on the inside I struggle with low self-esteem and fear of my shadow (counterintuitive I know).

I would like some clarification on how to help heal this process. For eg I have many dreams in where I’m selfish, or my partner has treated me badly ect. By integrating this, does that mean I should feel okay acting selfish & if others do or just notice that feeling and don’t become it. Also by acknowledging the feeling, does it eventually go away and heal? 
 

plus any methods for dealing with the shadow or healing I would love to learn about. 

[Logan]

*Shamanic Breathing. (Leo’s vid)

Primal Therapy. 

Shadow Work. (See Leo’s booklist)

Contemplate your traumatic experiences using a journal and realize that it’s no longer real. It’s just a figment of your imagination.

Forgive & love yourself and all others involved in the traumatic event/s.

Distance yourself from anyone who harmed you so that you may heal in a safe environment.

Dream analysis and journaling.

Small doses of psychedelics. (Research first)

Take 100% responsibility for where you are now. You are no longer a victim. If you are still framing yourself as the victim, you won’t be able to heal.

[nistake]

This book helped me tremendously.

[WonderSeeker]

• Ken Wilber's 3-2-1 shadow work as well as integral journaling
• Shadow Dance on Leo's book list (haven't read it yet but assume it works)
• Meditation and binaural beats can bring up repressed 'stuff' naturally
• Psycho-Cybernetics, read slowly and implemented correctly, can seriously help too

Hope this helps!

[WelcometoReality]

On 2021-07-17 at 11:49 PM, SelfLove said:

On the surface I appear to be a really put together, mature person. But on the inside I struggle with low self-esteem and fear of my shadow (counterintuitive I know).

What feelings come up when you think about yourself? Let them come up. If you fear to face your shadow you first have to deal with the fear. Which is meeting it as described below.

On 2021-07-17 at 11:49 PM, SelfLove said:

I would like some clarification on how to help heal this process. For eg I have many dreams in where I’m selfish, or my partner has treated me badly ect. By integrating this, does that mean I should feel okay acting selfish & if others do or just notice that feeling and don’t become it. Also by acknowledging the feeling, does it eventually go away and heal? 

Yes, like you say you notice the feeling and don't become it and you sit with it until it dissolves. 

The feeling will continue to come up but with less frequency and intensity until that feeling doesn't come up anymore. 

[Nahm]

On 7/17/2021 at 5:49 PM, SelfLove said:

I have been really interested in trying to uncover the unconscious aspect of myself that have been repressed possibly due to due childhood neglect, being the “odd” kid. 

On the surface I appear to be a really put together, mature person. But on the inside I struggle with low self-esteem and fear of my shadow (counterintuitive I know).

Counterintuitive is meta realization. The ‘bigger picture’ at play if you will. Counterintuitive feels so amazing in fact, that it is realized not to ever have been ‘counter’, but simply intuition which was doubted. 

The ‘unconscious aspect of yourself’, is quite literally, the repetition of that thought (about a yourself), and the ignorance of how it feels / disregard for the true self, the very feeling-guidance, or simply how you feel placed above wha thoughts believe (about yourself, a past, etc). This is like a dam to an endless ever-flowing river of consciousness. 

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I would like some clarification on how to help heal this process.

Feeling is the healing. Expression is the way. 

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For eg I have many dreams in where I’m selfish, or my partner has treated me badly ect. By integrating this, does that mean I should feel okay acting selfish & if others do or just notice that feeling and don’t become it. Also by acknowledging the feeling, does it eventually go away and heal?

The acknowledge of the feeling and abiding by it, or, listening to it, is already the healing in & of itself. Note the feeling of relief in the dropping of the narrative of the separate self, and the seeking a resolve or logical answer for it. 

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plus any methods for dealing with the shadow or healing I would love to learn about. 

Expression honors and allows the shadow into the light of awareness. 

“I struggle with low self esteem” is one thought, repeating, a belief. Via proper meditation, this thought activity comes to rest, settling into the peace and love you actually are, that which is awareness, aware of the thought activity about a separate self. 

One interpretation is “there is something wrong with me”... and the seeking of the solution. Another interpretation is there is nothing wrong with you, nothing you actually need, already no actual problem, only thought attachment to the thought, belief, that there is ‘a problem’, or, ‘something wrong with me’. 

Going Prior ... to these self referential thoughts = ‘going home’, ‘returning’, ‘remembering’, awakening, happiness. 

[Soulife96]

This is something I've been working on lately too. What made me get into improving myself in this dimension was the book "No More Mr Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. This book pointed out the core of my shadow: toxic shame. This was my first step. I finally, after many years, had a word for what I was feeling, which helped me move forward. 

Instinctively, I searched on YouTube "how to heal from toxic shame" and I came across a video where there was a practical demonstration of what I later found out to be self-inquiry (thanks to Leo). 

I would say that every shadow has it's unique and distinct way of expressing itself, and it seems like there's so much, much more to my particular shadow other than toxic shame. So this is just an example. 

My answer then, is:

1. Find book that resonates with your reality and see how it does, and observe your feelings 

2. Self-inquiry

3. Journaling 

4. Dopamine fasting 

This last one is one I've recently started to practice. It's shocking how much your mind wanders and wanders and tries to stick to any wall it finds, like a fly, when nothing sedates it. 

 

Hope this helps, and good luck