Sexual Samadhi: Growing our Love and Intimacy

[flume]

We've been excited about sharing our love live in more detail for some time now. Given the great ways in which our relationship is developing, we want to dedicate this journal to all the insights and stories that come our way and see how it feels to "go public" in that regard.

We hope that, by being raw, authentic and vulnerable, we can inspire more people to get clear on the kinds of relationships they want and how to go about creating them.

On here we'll talk about things like:

• Tantra
• How we approach polarity: Feminine/ Masculine Dynamics
• Doing workshops and coaching together
• Keeping attraction and love growing in a LTR
• Our journey to possibly creating adult content ?
• Sex stories
• Psychedelic sex stories / Taking psychedelics together
• Relationship advice: How to hold space, how and when to give advice, etc.
• How our past and contitioning is influencing our relationship and how we move through it together
• How we argue and fight
• Our favourite books
• How we open our sex lives: Threesomes, etc.
• Techniques and practices to have great sex (semen retention, etc.)
• Making long distance work
• Navigating being aspiring entrepreneurs together
• How to make a girl squirt
• How to make a boy squirt ?
• How to make a ginger squirt ???
• How to know when you've found the right partner
• Synchronicities
• Our idea of how to meet / find / manifest love
• Practices we do (reading, visioning, values, etc.)
• Our approach to contraception
• Spirit babies ? and family planning
• How to get a hot witch boyfriend
• How to use coconut oil for everything
• How to use coconut oil for enlightenment
• etc.

I'm not sure yet how much we're really gonna be able to post here as we're both quite busy people. But this is a first try of making our love life more public. Let's see how it feels. I'm excited.

What we have is truly amazing. This journal should serve as a dedicated place to document and celebrate that. It's made to entertain and to inspire.

Feel free to comment anything you want. We're both pretty open books.

Let's go ☺️

[RendHeaven]

1 hour ago, flume said:

• How to make a ginger squirt ???
• How to get a hot witch boyfriend

I await patiently.

[flume]

23 hours ago, RendHeaven said:

I await patiently.

Stay tuned. It's very counter-intuitive  

[flume]

Story time: Our first threesome

Midnight.

My boyfriend, one of my girlfriends and I have just spent the nicest evening together. We had a bit of wine and chilled on the floor of my living room. There was soft music playing in the background, some candles burning.

Me and L. have planned on surprising my boyfriend with this threesome for months at this point. It started out as "wouldn't it be funny if..." and slowly turned into a real game plan on how to go about it in detail. So we both knew what would happen later tonight and we're both excited and in a bit of disbelief that the day has come. The wine was definitely needed. It would be the first threesome for both of us. We've always left the option open to not do it if it doesn't feel right for anyone but... Lucky us, we're both totally in the mood.

I know L. likes my boyfriend in just the right way. She appreciates his character, feels safe around him, likes his humour, finds him attractive and just knows he's a great guy from everything I tell her about him. I know she likes him. Who wouldn't? And I can't wait to share his skills with her. Nothing inside of me worries about them falling in love though. What he and I have is on a different level and can't be touched so easily. And I trust her so much. So the setup is perfect.

L. and I have also made out upfront just to see how it feels. Pretty cool to kiss and touch a girl, honestly. So soft and fragile and full of mysterious emotions. It made me realise that cuddling with guys feels like cuddling with chairs in comparison. I can get into it and really enjoy it, even though I'm not nearly as turned on as I get with guys.

"I wanna go to bed now", I say, impatient for the whole thing to start. My boyfriend is a bit hesitant to go with me at first. I see how much he enjoys just having both of us around, laughing about his jokes with that light, flirty tension in the air. He just wants to bathe in that femininity some more. I also know he has at least thought about a threesome. I can feel how much he wants it. And, at this point, I'm beyond excited he's gonna get it.

But he doesn't know anything yet. "Just trust me, come with me." is what I'm thinking. He gets up, gives me a kiss, we say goodnight to L. who is getting ready to sleep on the sofa, and happily jump into bed.

I take a moment to just take in the love I feel for this man. The desire to make him feel good is pulsating through my body. I rub coconut oil on his belly and we have some intimate time. Kissing, talking,... I almost can't take the tension. I know L. is waiting on the sofa for me. I put a blindfold on him (hoping he wouldn't ask why) and make sure he's positioned in the middle of the bed. Perfect. Everything is going according to plan. At this point, I feel like a nervous teenager talking to his crush, constantly jumping back and forth, unable to relax.

"I quickly have to go to the toilet. Just wait right here. Don't move."

L. is waiting for me in the living room in her underwear and we look each other in the eyes, excited for it to begin, whatever it may be. We give each other a kiss and head to the bedroom.

I open the door softly. He hasn't moved. Awesome. The atmosphere is beautiful. Candle lights, soft music with a tribal touch, each of us a little tipsy.

Here's the music that played through the night:

We both sneak in on our tip toes and lay down in his arms like two gifts who just dropped down from heaven. He has me in his right arm and her in his left and we just start rubbing his chest.

I don't know what's going on inside of him right now. There's no talking. But I reckon he's in utter disbelief. It must feel so wonderful to have two soft feminine bodies rubbing against you from both sides.

Somewhat symmetrically, we run our hands over his torso and start kissing his neck. When my hands run over his underwear for the first time i feel it: He's. Rock. Hard. Drops of precum on his belly. Makes me grin, look at L. and we kiss each other passionately. Still with his eyemask on, he can only guess what is happening.

That's really how far our plan went. We said, if it's just cuddling and more doesn't feel right, we can just leave it at that. But we're all slowly really getting into it. So this is not it. By far.

As things get a bit more heated, they started kissing passionately. It felt weird for a moment, but it was gone so quickly that I wasn't even sure there was anything there in the first place. But I kneeled over them for a few moments, watching them. Watching my boyfriend kiss another women. And I waited. I waited for the kick of jealousy to come in. In vein. Nothing happened. I almost couldn't believe it. What a weird experience. All I could think was how wonderful it is that everyone's having such a great time and how beautiful this looks. So much style, so much passion... I wish I could take snapshots through my eyes like a camera to keep some of the atmosphere for later. I proceed to sucking his dick.

It's all a bit blurry from then on. I was so in the zone, loosing track of time, loosing track of what body part belongs to whom, which pleasure is mine and which is from another, and I just let myself go... We spent hours rolling around in bed, licking and sucking each other, making out in every way possible.

One of the hottest moments that are really standing out to me was when me and L. went down to suck my boyfriends dick at the same time. Both kissing his waistline, both moaning softly, taking turns pleasuring him. He looked down on us with this crazy and intense look, keeping both our heads in his hands, feeling like the king he is. Mhhh.

Another one was when me and L. were super lovingly kissing each other, checking in if everything is still ok. It looked something like this:

My boyfriend came back from the bathroom with this look on his face, like he still couldn't quite believe this is happening. "This looks so incredibly beautiful", he says. We keep making out and he goes down to pleasure our pussies. Laying between our legs, he looks a little bit like a sex slave, who's only job is to make us happy. I like the picture. He licks L. and starts fingering me. Now he's got my attention again. I have no idea how he does what he does, but as soon as this man goes inside of me, I just dissolve and ripple out in endless waves of pleasure. I almost can't continue kissing L. because I'm moaning so hard.

I also almost bursted out into tears when I was in the middle of them, both naked, both so close to me, both focused on me. Both of them know me so well, both of them I love so much, and i couldn't believe how cool all this is and how loved I felt. It made me so proud that I took the step and organised this evening to happen.

For the entire evening, no one ever felt excluded or like he/she needs to overly perform. Nothing went on behind anyone's back. It was just a celebration of love. The overall vibe was so safe, respectful, slow and loving. Just perfect for a first threesome. We could have gone a lot harder, but that just didn't seem right for the first time. Maybe next time.

My boyfriend and I locked eyes so many times. We had these extended moments of just looking at each other, and it was like something was communicating through our eyes so that we knew instinctively what to do next.

I didn't think I would be ok with him actually having sex with L. But when the time came it was the most intimate and beautiful thing. He was fucking her while kissing me and looking me in the eyes, like we're carrying each other through this experience.

It's also so beautiful to see him have sex with someone, to feel two bodies moving like that. To be on the outside, but somehow deeply involved. He's so skilled at what he does, which just makes me wanna watch and admire him all day. It also makes me proud to share my man with L. He's so good in bed, it would almost be a sin to keep it all to myself.

It's crazy how turned on you can be just by watching someone else have sex. Even though watching is the wrong word; I was almost in between them when they had sex, lol. Towards the end, L. comes while touching herself because she sees how he and I have sex. It turned her on hard. How beautiful. She has a ton of respect for our relationship and I could feel that all the way through.

Honestly, there's so much more I could still write about, but this post is getting looooong.

It was slowly getting light outside when we decided to sleep. I needed to get out of the bedroom for a moment and was suddenly bugged by the fact that L. was falling asleep in our bed. I mean, it's our bed, right? She could make out with my boyfriend all she wants, but when it's over, we still need to be clear on our roles. And she just took my spot. All not on purpose of course, so I wasn't mad at anyone. But I was still a little hurt.

That's not something I thought about up front and I had no idea it could be a problem. So I stay on the living room sofa, still blissed out of my mind but also a bit confused by my feelings. My boyfriend comes to me and we talk about what happened. I told him that I'm not sure what's going on and he reassures me that it's gonna be ok.

We cuddle, laugh and chat about the awesome thing we've just done. How good it was. How turned on we were. We couldn't believe it. We're so high on love.

He had no idea any of this would happen so the surprise was perfect. He said he can't believe his luck with a girlfriend like me and that he felt so loved and safe throughout the entire experience. I feel the same way. I love that man in ways I can't even describe. He stayed with me on that tiny sofa until the morning came, telling me I'm his queen, talking about all the amazing things we still want to do in our lives. With the strength of our love backing us up, suddenly nothing seems impossible.

It's good to be alone with him again. I really needed to reconnect with him after the experience. Checking in if everything is still the same, you know?

We have sex on the sofa until the sun is up and then fall asleep in each others arms from sheer exhaustion.

The "next day", everything is fine. We have a good laugh about everything, L. is going home and it seems like nothing has changed. Except we're on experience richer. One that was beautiful for everyone involved. Who would have thought that was possible? Definitely not me a few years ago.

[flowboy]

Threeway Fantasy Experienced

Warning: Explicit!

Starring:

• The woman I love
• Me
• "Sara"

 

The woman I love has a friend who she connects super well with. This friend, we'll call her Sara, even though that's not her real name, has been following the development of our relationship closely.

 

Being best friends, she had been so excited for my girlfriend when we went on our first date. She has heard voice messages from me to her, and she really was included and stayed up to date on every development in our relationship. As it goes with best friends. My girlfriend even showed her a video we made of us being naked and cuddling and me licking her pussy!

 

She had my permission for that of course, I'm not shy and even a bit of an exhibitionist. Although I had never met this woman, I could sense they had a lot of trust between them and are very fond of each other.

When me and my woman are together, it's pure magic. The way we connect and make love is such an out-of-this-world experience. It's not really explainable in words. But we can capture a bit of the vibe on video, and I'm happy to let her friend in on it, if she enjoys it. And she did!

 

Some time after our second date, my girlfriend sent me some pictures taken from a photo shoot she did with Sara. I still had never met her. There were five pictures of her, dressed in nothing but a white see-through robe, sexy but not all-revealing. Brown curls that playfully obscured part of her charming natural smile. I noticed that I found her charming, and imagined how her and my girlfriend must have vibed during that shoot. Sara looked like she had been charmed into momentarily realizing her natural beauty, something she might be innocently unaware of in daily life.

 

I felt some movement in my cock. Hello.

 

Was my girlfriend just a good photographer, or was there attraction between them? Certainly a spark.

 

"She's okay with me sending those to you".

"I mean, I saw his dick!, she said!"

 

I innocently probe:

"I don't wanna make it weird or anything, but looking at these, I definitely feel some expansion in that area.. You did a good job with that camera!"

 

She replies: "Same bro, she's a bombshell!"

 

I get more confident: "We should totally threesome her"

 

She replies: "Haha ok, slow down a bit!"

 

I drop the subject, but the fact that she didn't outright reject the idea, doesn't slip my attention. Now I'm aroused and can't help but imagine this possibility.

 

• They love each other and are super comfortable with each other.
• My girlfriend certainly appreciates her beauty.
• Sara just broke up with her boyfriend.
• They like to sleep and cuddle together, because Sara misses cuddling since she became single, and my girlfriend loves to cuddle up against her soft and feminine body.
• Our love bubble is so strong, that it overflows with love and sexual energy, and if we welcomed the right person into it as a guest, I'm sure each of us would love it and have a great experience.

 

It's perfect!

 

I lay on the bed, grab my hard cock and rub it, while imagining me and my girlfriend cuddling and pleasuring Sara together, the three of us slowly melting into a pile of love and ecstasy.

 

I had no idea whether my girlfriend would actually like something like that. I just had a feeling… that she might. It was probably my dick having too much imagination though. Better not to keep my hopes up or keep pushing it.

 

 

The first time I met her friend, we were at a group hangout near a lake. I had heard that she had been excited to meet me. I had been curious to meet her. Ironically, we only said hi at the beginning, and the rest of the afternoon I was busy talking to the guys around me. We had a bit of a language barrier between us, and she was not confident about her English, so she didn't approach me that day.

 

I quickly stuffed my naughty ideas away in a mental box labeled "naughty ideas" (actually it's a crate with chains around it), and focused on making a good impression on her and getting along with her friends. These were most of her friends, after all, so I wanted to talk to everybody and get to know them.

 

One time I received a picture of Sara and my girlfriend in bed and cuddling together. It looked cosy and innocent. I mentioned that I'd love to jump in the middle there. "Just kidding, haha".

 

I received: "We KNOW you're not kidding! (laughter)"

 

Now Sara also didn't reject the idea outright!! One of the chains around the crate spontaneously snapped. I instantly got hard and my heart started beating fast.

 

 

By the time we saw Sara again, it was two months later. Somewhat randomly, my girlfriend mentioned she was coming over. Both of us had been a bit tired and sleep deprived because of the heat. Sara was going to come over in the evening, and we'd have dinner together and hang out a bit.

 

I tried another threesome joke to test the waters, but got a mocking "In your dreams, mister!" as a response. Very well. I was very okay with this staying a fantasy. Especially in my current state: I felt a bit like a sleep deprived zombie, and dirty and sticky because of the heat. I wasn't sure I had the energy to even be social. The possibility was wiped off the table, and it was honestly a relief.

 

We had a lovely dinner together. Sara and I finally talked a bit. It turned out that one glass of wine flushed out all my German words, which were few to begin with, but it really loosened her English! I was still a bit nervous because I really wanted to get along with her, just because she's such a good friend of the woman I love.

 

I noticed that Sara and my woman, although they looked different, had many similarities. Personality wise, but also they had simiar tattoos and accessories. I tried to tell my horny brain to shut up and let me think wholesome thoughts, but it was futile. Now this was even reminiscent of a twin fantasy.

 

"In your dreams, mister!"

 

I take a shower and give my dick a firm talking to. "There's nothing we should do here. I can't ruin the evening by doing something awkward. If it doesn't happen totally organically, it should just stay a fantasy!"

 

My girlfriend even comes in to ask if I'm feeling okay. I tell her that I am, but I'm just a bit insecure because I really want her friend to be comfortable with me and get along. Which is true, but not the whole truth. I want her friend to be comfortable with me and not see the dirty thoughts I'm having right now!

 

We decide to go for a walk, and find a nice place to spread a blanket and sit down. My girlfriend had gotten a bottle of sparkling wine for the both of them, and some other weird alcoholic drink, and two half-liter beers for me. Which I found odd. I had never seen her have more than half a glass of wine in one evening. She was even making jokes about never having been drunk together with Sara, or with me. The fantasy cinema started playing in my head again. For the hell of it, I suggest a drinking game, an idea which to my surprise is enthusiastically accepted. Could it…be?...no!!

 

Sara and I get a chance to bond when we both have to pee. We find a spot where there's few people coming, and take turns keeping lookout. I think she likes me and trusts me. That's a good result for the evening. I'm happy with that. As she tinkles, I become astutely aware of the fact that she is now half naked, right behind me. I look straight ahead and try to make conversation.

 

As it's getting chilly, we decide to head back. My girlfriend lights candles, puts blankets on the floor inside, puts on music and makes a nice space. I marvel at how good she is at making a nice space. She's got all these amazing feminine qualities and skills that complement mine. One of which is to make everything and everywhere she goes beautiful and harmonious.

 

We have a chat and continue the game of "I never", as we finish our drinks. Then my girlfriend announces that we should go to bed, as she is tired and Sara has to work in the morning.

Even though I knew the entire time that the evening would end this way, I feel a bit of sadness. I want to stretch out the moment a bit longer. I want the three of us to stay up and chat a bit longer, so that I can bask in my attraction to the both of them, and keep my fantasy alive just a little longer.

 

I finish my beer, put a blanket on the couch for Sara to sleep on, and go to brush my teeth. My girlfriend seems anxious for me to hurry up and join her. I thought she was tired, but she seems keen on getting frisky now. I'm tired too, but I'm always game. Although a bit worried, because I'm slightly drunk and I have never been with her in that state. I wonder whether I can still be as present with her, or whether the alcohol will make me sloppy and greedy.

 

We make out, she on top of me, and I notice I really have to pace myself. I want to bury my face in her tits, lick every inch of her body and ravage her. But the beer is making me want to move too fast. I gotta slow down.

 

She grabs my sleeping mask and suggests I put it on as a blindfold. Perfect! Such a good idea, that will definitely slow me down and get me into a more mindful state. As I'm blindfolded, she announces she wants me to stay right there and she has to pee. I await patiently and play with my cock a bit.

 

When she comes back, she lays down at my right side and softly kisses me. I try to put my arms around her, but notice that she's in a weird position. I don't understand… my left arm is also blocked. How is she leaning? In a snap, I realise I have my arms around two bodies! Confused, I utter: "I don't even understand what is going on right now…". COULD IT BE??!

 

COULD IT BE??!..

 

!!!

 

I interpret that she's come just to give us a good night cuddle, perhaps as a joke reference to the threesome jokes… And still, I really appreciate it!

I breathe in deeply as my body floods with happy chills. I am naked right now. This is a pretty intimate moment, and I get so much enjoyment just sharing it a little. Just to be able to share a bit of our love, give someone a little taste, by having a cuddle right at that intimate moment when we're about to have sex, feels so fucking good. Sara will go to bed after this goodnight cuddle, but she trusted me enough to be close to me while I am naked, and that alone totally does it for me. I'm in heaven.

 

[As long as I have had a sex life, I have unconsciously looked ways to transcend this intimacy barrier between people I was actually intimate with, and good friends who I was not necessarily attracted to, but whom I loved, and from which arose a desire to make them part of these intimate moments somehow. When I was younger, I sporadically made awkward attempts to act on this desire to share intimacy with loved ones, which led to some interesting moments which make for good stories now.]

 

I kiss my girlfriend while Sara rests her head on my left shoulder, and I pet her curly hair. My chest floods with excitement as now both girls are softly kissing me. I realise that this is not a joke, SOMEHOW MAGICALLY my wild fantasy is about to become a reality right now.

 

DON'T OVERTHINK IT, just go with it!!

 

DoN't OvErThInK iT! Stay hard!

 

I really hope I stay hard. I'm not too worried, because my woman is here, and her presence always relaxes me and makes me feel horny by default.

 

Still blindfolded, I stroke Sara's back, and am overjoyed to hear and feel that THE TWO OF THEM are making out now!!! I can't BELIEVE my luck. This is really on another level.

 

I feel around for Sara's head, and my lips slowly find hers. Am I allowed to do this? No rules were discussed. I don't want to do anything to make my girlfriend uncomfortable, and so I'll have to feel into it while blindfolded.

My girlfriend kisses my face, body and slowly makes her way down. Green light. Sara and I kiss, and it feels enjoyable, exciting and also like such a relief, because I had been curious about her all night. My girlfriend starts playing with my cock. She worships it like no one else can. I relax my body fully.

 

Then Sara makes her way down too, and joins my girlfriend, who has started gently sucking my cock. The two of them switch positions and she passes my cock to her. Sara takes it in her mouth too, and starts sucking while my girlfriend strokes me. I HAVE to rip my blindfold off now! Waves of pleasure and excitement rush through my body, and I can hardly contain it. I am being treated like a king, I feel on top of the world. I have two beautiful women sucking my dick and kissing each other. I don't know what I've done in a past life to deserve this, but I must have been some kind of saint.

 

Sara climbs up and lays on top of me while my girlfriend cuddles up beside me. I have my right hand on Sara's ass and my left hand on my girlfriend's ass, and I am gently squeezing them both, in immense enjoyment. One round and smooth, and one skinny and slightly hairier. Both so fucking sexy. Such a delicious combination. I keep making out with Sara while having now both hands on her. I feel a strong wave of sexual energy coursing through me, from my belly down, out of my cock and into Sara. I'm squeezing her sexy ass with both hands now, and pulling it towards me. I'm feeling that I'm ready to take it further, but it comes to my attention that my woman has sort of rolled off and distanced herself a bit.

 

Alarm bells. I assume that she may have been shocked by seeing me be intimate with someone else, which is super understandable, and the reason why one should always take these things slowly and be careful escalating, not to cross anyone's boundaries of comfort. I have to involve her. If she's not 100% game, I'd rather call it a night and spend the rest of it with her. I have to let her know and feel, that, although I'm super into this, there's nothing I want to do without her being a hundred percent into it.

 

Perhaps she doesn't know how logistically find a way in. So I try to solve the perceived problem by suggesting she sit on my face. That way, I can lick her pussy while she and Sara kiss and she rides my cock, and then later we can switch.

 

But she declines. I stop and verify if she's okay. She ensures me that nothing's wrong.

[She would later explain to me that she was just taking some time to wait for the jealous feeling to kick in, but was surprised that it totally stayed away]

 

Relieved that nothing's wrong, I focus my attention on my girlfriend and kiss her passionately. The three of us make out, and I slowly make my way to her beautiful breasts. I kiss them, lick them, and suck on her nipples. I can never get enough. Then, I notice that there's four of them now! My face is on her belly and I lick Sara's tits, and then my girlfriends' again. What a feast. I feel sexually hungry, a feeling like I haven't eaten in seven days and am suddeny presented with a buffet of the best, most nutritious, most delicious foods I could dream of, and it's all-I-can-eat but for a limited time. I want at least eight consecutive hours with these two gorgeous women. What say I, I could devour them for an entire night and day! Time is limited and I'm thirsty, hungry, I want to taste everything, lick everything, merge with everything.

 

"If you scooch down a bit, we each have something to do!" My girlfriend is getting creative. I love it. Sara is licking her and fingering her, my girlfriend is sucking me, and I scooch down a bit so I can reach Sara's pussy. We form a sexy triangle. Sara turns her belly towards me and I lovingly grab her ass with both hands. I am literally mouth-watering and can't wait to taste her. She smells good and healthy. I can't bring myself to build up to it slowly, instead I just dive in and put my tongue on her already-wet pussy. I lick her all over and make her into a beautiful sexy mess while her juices get my face wet, my girlfriend passionately sucks my cock and is being fingered by Sara.

 

At this point I have to take a pee break. "Stay right there guys!" I insist. A bit scared that the moment might be over when I come back. Had I known this would happen, I would not have drunk a liter of beer!

 

With my heart pounding, I pee and try to hurry back as quickly as I can. The two women are still there! It has not turned out to be all a dream (yet). They are next to each other, cuddling, kissing and connecting. It's so beautiful to me how they are with each other. My voice message was a hundred percent correct: I do want to just jump in there! What an irresistable love bubble.

 

While Sara kisses her and licks her nipples, I thirstily dive tongue-first into my girlfriends' delicious pussy. I can never get enough of licking her. Her pussy is beautifully shaped, soft, tastes good, smells good, and makes my mouth water and my cock rock-hard. I want to take the next step. So I fumble around for a condom. I'm eager to 'get in', and penetrate her. Perhaps it makes me too hasty, but I want to reassure myself that I can become and remain hard in this intense situation.

 

My girlfriend stops me and takes the condom out of my hand. I pause and ask: "No? Okay!" and continue to lick her. I interpret that she's not ready to be penetrated yet. Only a few moments later, she says: "Okay!" and hands me the condom.

 

AGAIN I have to pee, though! I'm tempted to hold it, but I know that's a bad idea. So again I ask them to "stay right there, I'll be RIGHT back", hurry while I pee, and pray that they won't get tired and want to call it a night in the mean time. It may seem exaggerated, but please understand that at this point I have about 19 HOURS' WORTH of things that I want to do with these women, and I know that we only have little time before people REALLY need to sleep. So I better make it count!

 

Now both women sit up and come to kiss me. The three of us are on our knees, cuddling, kissing. I can't get enough of this moment. Feeling this love and sexual freedom with three people is quite a rare and special experience. The two women suck my cock a bit more. Then, shaking from excitement, I put on the condom.

 

Now the presence of two women has made my dick a bit nervous. Not in the way that I can't get hard, but rather that I can feel that it's very sensitive and it will be hard to control the orgasm.

 

With my girl kissing Sara, lovingly put my cock inside her and we start to move. She starts to moan. I moan with her. I can actually go to kiss my girlfriend and Sara now, with my cock still inside. It feels SO FUCKING GOOD. What is the word for that? Cosy? Communal? The extreme sharing aspect of it is what gets me so aroused, I feel literally like heroin couldn't be better than this. Maybe it is that I finally don't have to hold back. When I like and trust people, I often feel some level of sexual towards them, but social rules don't allow for that to be expressed. Or maybe it is that I don't feel fully seen unless my penis and my sexuality are fully seen. And being fully seen is what a human craves. Or perhaps I just always have had a desire to let my sexuality out in group settings. Something to explore there. I don't have to read into it too much either, threesomes are just awesome.

 

I flip my girlfriend over and start to fuck her doggy style. Even though the added excitement makes me a bit nervous, our usual fire is coming out now. I fuck her deep, slowly, and sometimes a bit faster while we get louder and louder. I am so close to cumming.

[It was explained to me later that while we were fucking with Sara so close, she was fingering herself and had an orgasm just because our arousal transferred to her, and she got so turned on by the fire between us. So awesome]

 

Now, I want to fuck Sara. I don't know what the rules are. If that's not an option, that is totally fine, but  I've found her attractive and we've had good chemistry the entire evening, and if my girlfriend is super okay and wants it, well, then I want it!

 

I'd like to prevent the need for a talking break, so I just decide to move slowly and tune in to their body language, so that I'm able to back up and change course before anyone gets hurt or surprised. I take my cock out of my girlfriend, and, wearing the same condom, scooch a bit to the left, where Sara is. The two women make eye contact and then look at me. No sign of discomfort, so I slide my body over Sara's, and start to kiss her and my girlfriend. We both like making out with her. She has great lips.

 

She's receiving me with her legs wide. I can feel that I'm already too excited from everything that's been going on. If I move to fast, I'll cum immediately. No choice but to go ridiculously slow. My ego would like me to show off my fuck skills, but that's not going to happen now. It's okay. I'm kissing my woman and I'm inside another woman, with her approval and her feeling pleasure from this too. The level of enjoyment I get out of that is hard to put into words. My brain is melting. I'm just addicted to kissing both of these beautiful women and feeling so grateful that they made this happen for me. They are having a great time indeed, but really it felt like a present for me, and I'm so honored and humbled.

 

I feel like a kid in a candy store. There's two of everything, and even four of some things! All of the hot combinations and pleasurable positions and things we could do are rushing through my mind. Almost too exciting.

 

I'm having very slow sex with Sara, and still I'm on the edge of cumming. I have to do something else, so I slide down and start giving her oral pleasure. I suck on her clit and stick my tongue in her. Then I look up and see my woman's face there! Watching me pleasure her. Totally approving, present, and enjoying it with us. That just made my heart drop, it was so beautiful to me. All my fears had been unnecessary. She loves me and she loves her. This was all her idea, her plan. She's not hurt, she's excited! And she's happy that I'm enjoying it like she hoped I would. I feel reassured and deeply loved.

 

I'm still on the edge of cumming, but in denial about it. I want to fuck both of these girls some more. My lust gets the better of me and I put it back in. I moved too enthusiastically and feel cum moving up my balls. I pull out, but it's too late. I kiss my woman, because coming with someone else feels a bit wrong. But she's a bit disappointed anyway because that orgasm is the first in 14 days, and we had saved up that sperm for her. [I gave her a generous amount of cum a couple days later, in several places, so I do feel like I made up for that transgression]

 

Sara is almost falling asleep now. It's 3 a.m. and we've been doing this for almost three hours! My woman doesn't want to sleep with three people, and Sara is already dozing off, so we decide to let her sleep and go hang out on the couch together.

 

This is such a good idea of her, to check in with each other after something like this. We talk a bit and find that we both are still so horny. And I'm rock hard again. It's nice to be with just the two of us again, after this adventure. With just each other, we can really focus in and go a lot deeper. The dimensions of next-level enlightened sex that we like to live in, are only accessible through sacred union.

 

We proceed to have wild sex on the couch, while trying to be careful not to wake up Sara, and failing. It turns out that this is not a quickie before sleep, no, our motor is running now, the juices keep flowing and we fuck literally until sunrise. Which must have been at least 2 more hours.

 

 

Afterthoughts

I'm so fucking grateful. I so appreciate the generosity of these women, wanting to do this for me, to fulfill my fantasy. And yes, they had a blast too, but clearly this was my fantasy being fulfilled, and it was a hundred times better in reality than it was in fantasy!

 

This night gave me even stronger faith in the strength of our relationship. I had a worry that once we got into these waters where we play with others, it would diminish some of the intimacy. Something might break that could not be mended.

 

Nothing broke, nothing was awkward, nothing was weird. There was no jealousy to process, just an explosion of love and the feeling of having done something really cool together. And we're proud that we pulled it off, and are absolutely fine afterwards. It was almost weird how natural it all felt, and how normal and good we felt afterwards.

 

But everything with this woman feels like coming home and remembering a place so warm and comfortable, that I had forgotten even exists, where I can be who I had forgotten I could be.

Edited July 20, 2021 by flowboy

[Raptorsin7]

@flowboy Would you be comfortable if your girlfriend want a threesome with one of your friends?

[flowboy]

56 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

@flowboy Would you be comfortable if your girlfriend want a threesome with one of your friends?

She might. It could be cool. As long as we go slow, and are willing to stop at any time if someone is uncomfortable, there's not much that can go wrong.

It really depends on who, when, how we're feeling. Set and setting.

[Michael569]

I've really enjoyed reading the story from both sides. Thank you for sharing this intimate experience guys. 

[flowboy]

[flume]

On 20/07/2021 at 2:51 PM, Michael569 said:

I've really enjoyed reading the story from both sides. Thank you for sharing this intimate experience guys. 

 Thanks for the feedback Michael!

[flume]

"Love is the sea where intellect drowns." - Rumi

[Etherial Cat]

25 minutes ago, flume said:

"Love is the sea where intellect drowns." - Rumi

That quote! I absolutely love it. 

[flume]

Needing space

(entry from one week ago)

We've gotten a bit agitated at each other the past days. We're planning on moving in together soon and we're spending a lot more time together than we used to. Going from long distance to moving into the same apartment is quite a step.

So something felt off. I felt needy and unfulfilled, even though we spent a lot of time together. I felt like he was somewhere else in his head. Not really with me. And that all the sweet things he did for me, he didn't always want to do.

He felt a need to pull away. He needed to be alone. He needed a break from all the craziness I'm going through. It got strongest last night, when I got my period and was in a lot of pain. He decided to stay, to "be there for me" even though he actually wanted to be somewhere else.

That was not a good idea. I somehow felt it and felt like shit. None of the soothing he gave me was really satisfying. When we honestly started talking about it today, it made me feel horrible to have been "taken care of" against his innate desire.

He was there for me because he felt obligated to? Eww. Such a disgusting feeling in my body to hear that.

I'm glad we're finally talking about it though. This has been building up for a few days.

_______________

Gladly, we're currently reading a book that talks all about a mans need to pull away from time to time. So even though we both know now that that tendency is heathy, it just felt scary for him to admit.

It would be so easy to neglect that feeling that says "This doesn't feel right anymore, I think a boundary is crossed". I had the same feeling in reverse when I sometimes let him do things in bed I didn't feel like doing in that moment. It's difficult to put a stop to it. You want to do it to make the other person feel good, so why not play along.

There seems to be this belief that, if you love someone, you should always want to be there for them. Be a servant to their every wish, always wanting to be close. And if you start pulling away, you'll never come back. I'm basically admitting I'm not in love, right? Wrong.

You can't actually feel love and attraction to another person if you don't spend time apart. We're both very creative and independent people with many cool ideas and interests. It's a full time job to honour them all. But it makes us who we are. It also makes us into the person the other one loves and appreciates.

So we made an agreement to honour our individualities more. To consciously schedule in time apart. To not loose feeling ourselves as individual people. And to thereby enrich our relationship.

Yes, I love it when he's there for me, but I can tell if it's real or not. He can love me more deeply when he feels himself fully. When he comes from that place, there's pure love in his eyes and taking care of me actually makes him stronger. And if that is not the case, I have other people and tools available to help me. I'm ultimately guiding myself when it comes to healing my shit, and I don't feel like putting this onto him alone anyways. Sometimes we're just not ready to be with each other yet. And that's ok. I miss my alone time too.

So here's our agreement, we hung it up on the fridge:

It says:

Agreement

1. Boundaries

I, Erik, agree to practice taking space when I need space.

I, Maria, agree to not taking it personally or making Erik feel guilty when he needs space.

We both know that a mans need to pull away is healthy & natural. It allows him to be more loving & present at the times he does spend with his partner.

2. Alone time & individuality

We both agree to honour the other's individuality and need for alone time, and make an effort to schedule it and communicate about it.

We both understand that our relationship will only benefit from the time we take to explore our own interests.

3. More boundaries

I, Maria, agree to practice not neglecting my boundaries in bed just because I want to make Erik feel good.

I, Erik, agree to practice not taking it personally when Maria says she doesn't like something.

 

*

 

It's not gonna be easy to implement this, but it's really the only chance we have. We're not gonna settle for a relationship that doesn't feel good. Nothing but 100% honesty is gonna fly.

So we did. Here's a few thoughts on the time we spent apart:

Maria

I spent time with my family. It took a lot to not retract into making him feel guilty. That day was a bit of a roller coaster ride to be honest. But I enjoyed spending the day connecting with the kids, spending time in nature, take my favourite book, take a dip in the river. So many creative ideas bubbled up that can really only come when I'm not surrounded by other people. I could really feel myself again, my creativity. Feels great to be me again. The me only I know.

Erik

Felt really scary to just go with what I deep down feel like. Am I admitting I'm not in love? That's the fear. But it's wrong. I still love her just as much. But I feel like working on something alone right now.

Is it about other women? Nope. Don't feel like having any woman around at this moment. I'm not even thinking about sex, and porn couldn't hold my attention.

I just feel like getting purposeful work done, and talk to guys about getting purposeful work done.

What if I never come back?

Ah, the good old false fear that a state is permanent. A state is never permanent. Just gotta trust.

[Raptorsin7]

@flume Who is more woke you or your boyfriend?

[flume]

@Raptorsin7 Depends. In the morning: me. After coffee: him

[RendHeaven]

14 hours ago, flume said:

So something felt off. I felt needy and unfulfilled, even though we spent a lot of time together. I felt like he was somewhere else in his head. Not really with me. And that all the sweet things he did for me, he didn't always want to do.

He felt a need to pull away. He needed to be alone. He needed a break from all the craziness I'm going through. It got strongest last night, when I got my period and was in a lot of pain. He decided to stay, to "be there for me" even though he actually wanted to be somewhere else.

That was not a good idea. I somehow felt it and felt like shit. None of the soothing he gave me was really satisfying. When we honestly started talking about it today, it made me feel horrible to have been "taken care of" against his innate desire.

He was there for me because he felt obligated to? Eww. Such a disgusting feeling in my body to hear that.

I'm glad we're finally talking about it though. This has been building up for a few days.

I've done this kind of male behavior before, many times. I didn't realize this gave y'all "Eww" sensations. I'm so glad you're spelling it out like that, it makes my future judgements easier. The good news is I will never do this again even if y'all wanted me to. But now that I know that even you guys don't want that kind of treatment from me, the path forward is clear

14 hours ago, flume said:

It took a lot to not retract into making him feel guilty.

Uh oh. Just the mere urge to retract whatsoever hints at some subconscious part of you being misaligned with Truth.

Edited August 20, 2021 by RendHeaven

[flume]

On 20/08/2021 at 7:03 PM, RendHeaven said:

I've done this kind of male behavior before, many times. I didn't realize this gave y'all "Eww" sensations. I'm so glad you're spelling it out like that, it makes my future judgements easier. The good news is I will never do this again even if y'all wanted me to. But now that I know that even you guys don't want that kind of treatment from me, the path forward is clear

Well, at least it gave me the "ew-feeling". I think nothing ultimately comes across that isn't genuine.

On 20/08/2021 at 7:03 PM, RendHeaven said:

Uh oh. Just the mere urge to retract whatsoever hints at some subconscious part of you being misaligned with Truth.

Could be. Learning day by day 

[flume]

Awesome tantra playlist ??

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5Z7j0sZAsoEabE3T7MjAus?si=be98841d32944bb7

[flume]

Best-man-I-ever-met-kind-of-guy

[flume]

17 hours ago, modmyth said:

@flume  This is such a cute pic of you two.

Also I love the DCD on that playlist (I just realized now that you probably didn't personally make it though).

Aw, thanks a lot 

I don't even know what DCD means to be honest  Enlighten me!