Struggling with Blackpill

[Gesundheit2]

@Parththakkar12 I like misunderstanding women, it's part of my life purpose

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, Parththakkar12 said:

Yupp. Just say it out loud. Women are intellectually superior to men. And men are 'STUPID!!' We're starting to see the reality now.

Mods, is this hate-speech?

You’re projecting onto what I said.

Men on here don’t understand women. But not because they’re stupid or intellectually inferior.

It’s only because they aren’t receptive and don’t listen.

They would rather hold onto their own made up stories about female desire which make them feel safer and less vulnerable than actually hearing the truth.

It feels threatening to them, so they don’t want to accept the truths of the female perspective.

[Parththakkar12]

45 minutes ago, Emerald said:

You’re projecting onto what I said.

Men on here don’t understand women. But not because they’re stupid or intellectually inferior.

It’s only because they aren’t receptive and don’t listen.

They would rather hold onto their own made up stories about female desire which make them feel safer and less vulnerable than actually hearing the truth.

It feels threatening to them, so they don’t want to accept the truths of the female perspective.

It was a pretty intellectually arrogant generalization. Pretty neat way of invalidating the male perspective. You're just asking for it from men in return, quite frankly.

[Nos7algiK]

@EmeraldBoth parties don't understand each other equally. This isn't a man vs woman ordeal, but rather a person vs person ordeal. This has very little to do with a person's capacity to listen and largely has to do with a person's inner knowing of them own self or lack there of I should say. If we can not know ourselves and I don't mean our surface level ego bs, then how can we expect to know others?

You are a damn teacher...are you really teaching your students this stuff? You have some great content and if others latch onto that they will also latch onto this idea as well. It's not a healthy idea, it's not a "this is what I've experienced" idea, but rather it's a completely biased and condescending one.

When I was much younger I used to believe women couldn't understand me, specially as a man. I learned how foolish I was by looking inside my self and dropping the silly belief. I started to allow others to understand me and having faith they could. Having a prior biased against their understanding means I made unconscious psychological actions that will only revalidate my world view by withholding myself away. Once this biases were removed my relationships with women(and men) grew hundreds of times more meaningful. Just as you do not appreciate someone holding a biased against you due to you being a woman, others won't feel the same regardless of sex.

Again, this is a personal lack of understanding that causes all of these issue. I would say the misunderstanding of self is equally shared in all sexes and races.

I could never personally not see someone as an equal again and give them myself as Nos7algiK and nothing more/less. For me to ever treat someone anyone a different way(outside of being more mindful with children) would for some type of insecurity or trauma to arise in me. There would be hidden sexist or racist tendencies regardless if they are truly hateful or not. No, it's not just "that's my experience" because that's exactly how sexism and racism is formed....

[Leo Gura]

Guys, cool it.

You're obviously not understanding each other due to attachment to your own perspective.

Arguing from that point is just digging your own hole deeper.

[Nos7algiK]

3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Guys, cool it.

You're obviously not understanding each other due to attachment to your own perspective.

Arguing from that point is just digging your own hole deeper.

You are right, so I'll take my leave from this. I should have stopped playing the ego games long ago for I knew what I was doing. 

[RickyFitts]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

Men on here don’t understand women. But not because they’re stupid or intellectually inferior.

Some of us are trying, I promise.

(To understand, I mean, not your patience.)

[Harlen Kelly]

 

On 23/07/2021 at 9:08 AM, SamC said:

Don't negate when men feel missunderstand as projection... notice how you do the exact same thing to yourself and guys that guys do to you. You missunderstand and invalidate many men's experience.

That's not a bug, that's a feature. A predictable feature.

Question, why do you consider it so paramount for the male perspective to be understood or accepted by women? Why is that important for you?

[Jacob Morres]

@Nos7algiK never wrestle with a pig bcuz you get dirty too and the pig likes it

emerald said she is here to spar and win 

Edited July 24, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[SamC]

1 hour ago, Harlen Kelly said:

 

That's not a bug, that's a feature. A predictable feature.

Question, why do you consider it so paramount for the male perspective to be understood or accepted by women? Why is that important for you?

How is it a predictable feuture? Why is it not a bug. Tell me more, that's sounds interesting XDXD

Well, it's only important because I have a trauma around not being understood and that I want to be understood and that I feel even more missunderstood when woman say that men cannot be missunderstood becuase that's my experience, my childhood trauma, that I have been missunderstood.

I feel missunderstood by woman and think that I will be healed when woman understand me.

 

@Harlen Kelly

Edited July 24, 2021 by SamC

[Harlen Kelly]

@SamC "How is it a predictable feuture? Why is it not a bug. Tell me more, that's sounds interesting XDXD"

That's how dense idiological positions operate. 

"I feel missunderstood by woman and think that I will be healed when woman understand me."

You will be healed by turning inwards and becoming more conscious, not by looking for validation or acceptance from women (or from anybody for that matter). 

Additionally, trying to get validation or acceptance from women is one of the most unattractive things you can do, it's a loser's game.

Edited July 24, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Guys, cool it.

You're obviously not understanding each other due to attachment to your own perspective.

Arguing from that point is just digging your own hole deeper.

The issue really is that some people are trying to gaslight other people out of their perspective by saying it either isn't their perspective or that their perspective isn't valid.

And then the people being gaslit are putting their foot down and saying "No. This is actually my perspective and it's valid."

It's different than not understanding the other. Many who are being gaslit do understand the other quite well. They are just tired of being intentionally misunderstood. 

Also, I never actually said anything in this post about the male bias. It's always been about the female bias because that's what's being misunderstood so intentionally. 

Edited July 24, 2021 by Emerald

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, RickyFitts said:

Some of us are trying, I promise.

(To understand, I mean, not your patience.)

I do realize this. I apologize for writing it as a generalization. 

[Emerald]

2 hours ago, Nos7algiK said:

@EmeraldBoth parties don't understand each other equally. This isn't a man vs woman ordeal, but rather a person vs person ordeal. This has very little to do with a person's capacity to listen and largely has to do with a person's inner knowing of them own self or lack there of I should say. If we can not know ourselves and I don't mean our surface level ego bs, then how can we expect to know others?

You are a damn teacher...are you really teaching your students this stuff? You have some great content and if others latch onto that they will also latch onto this idea as well. It's not a healthy idea, it's not a "this is what I've experienced" idea, but rather it's a completely biased and condescending one.

When I was much younger I used to believe women couldn't understand me, specially as a man. I learned how foolish I was by looking inside my self and dropping the silly belief. I started to allow others to understand me and having faith they could. Having a prior biased against their understanding means I made unconscious psychological actions that will only revalidate my world view by withholding myself away. Once this biases were removed my relationships with women(and men) grew hundreds of times more meaningful. Just as you do not appreciate someone holding a biased against you due to you being a woman, others won't feel the same regardless of sex.

Again, this is a personal lack of understanding that causes all of these issue. I would say the misunderstanding of self is equally shared in all sexes and races.

I could never personally not see someone as an equal again and give them myself as Nos7algiK and nothing more/less. For me to ever treat someone anyone a different way(outside of being more mindful with children) would for some type of insecurity or trauma to arise in me. There would be hidden sexist or racist tendencies regardless if they are truly hateful or not. No, it's not just "that's my experience" because that's exactly how sexism and racism is formed....

That's just not true.

The misunderstanding isn't equal on both sides. And you're wise to realize that it's not.

Women (and society at large) knows a lot more about the male bias than men (and society at large) know about the female bias. There is no question here. It is not equal on both sides. 

The middle ground fallacy might seem like it's the right thing because it puts equal weight on everything. But the misunderstanding isn't equal here. 

The feminine perspective is far less known in general. And notice how much more hostility and gaslighting a woman gets when she shares her truths. You get tons of people who have the understanding "Never listen to a woman about what she wants" and who will fight tooth and nail just to convince her that her biases aren't her biases and that her preferences aren't her preferences. 

There are ZERO women on this forum who will tell you, "Don't listen to men about what they want." We know your perspective. We understand your perspective. And we are not in denial about your perspective. 

And this actually confers a lot of advantages from a dating standpoint. But it's very frustrating to be constantly misrepresented and misunderstood... especially when the misunderstanding is active and intentional. 

[Nos7algiK]

@Emerald We are only running around in circles here. If we continue to talk about this we are going to just repeat the same ideas over and over. I don't believe either of us is truly right or wrong. I understand your personal perspective, not because you are a woman, but because you are Emerald. This doesn't mean I have to agree with you. I don't fully disagree and I do feel like what you are saying helps at a certain level. But, I should be more wise to understand it's pointless to argue against the relative nature of the ego's self biases.

You can assume you understand my perspective because I'm a man, but my view has little to do with my sex and more to do with me being Nos7algiK. If you wish to know deeper, I do not agree with most men on the forum and find it somewhat cringing and will only set themselves up to be devils in a woman's eye. But, that may stem from being out of touch with my own masculine side. I honestly can't say.


When it comes to someone I do agree with wholeheartedly on this forum @Etherial Cat has a very healthy balance within herself and a great perceptive on it all.

Edited July 24, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Well, I listen a lot to what women say they want here in the forum. Because you and other women here are a high consciousness and really honest about what you, girls, want, differently from most women in IRL. 

When I started my dating life, for example, I used to listen to a lot of women, on how they wanted a "nice" emotional guy, and that never worked for me, I just really started getting results when I started listen to the other's guys adivices.

I understand. If you’re trying to woo a woman, then don’t ask her what she likes. It has to be spontaneous.

But on a forum for exploring deeper into these topics it’s really frustrating when so many men are really dug into a lot of distortional thinking about female sexuality... and they simply refuse to hear us. 

They don’t make room in their minds for “yes and” thinking with regard to the practicalities of pickup and the subjective realities of female sexuality as it is.

Human sexuality is a deep topic. And very few men on here are willing to look deeper with it because they’re only interested in practical simplifications for their own purposes. 

But a layer deeper than that is that men mostly get into pickup to find ways to become more in control of surfing the waves of the ocean that is female sexuality.

And there is relief in the thought that the ocean can be understood and tamed.

But the surfer is wise to realize that he doesn’t understand the ocean fully just because he knows how to surf along the shoreline. And also that the surfer has not truly tamed the ocean. The ocean is not under his control, he just knows better how to surf it.

And I think that making men realize that there are many elements of female sexuality that can’t be gamed is really threatening to them. They recognize more the dangers of the ocean.

[Emerald]

22 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

@Emerald We are only running around in circles here. If we continue to talk about this we are going to just repeat the same ideas over and over. I don't believe either of us is truly right or wrong. I understand your personal perspective, not because you are a woman, but because you are Emerald. This doesn't mean I have to agree with you. I don't fully disagree and I do feel like what you are saying helps at a certain level. But, I should be more wise to understand it's pointless to argue against the relative nature of the ego's self biases.

You can assume you understand my perspective because I'm a man, but my view has little to do with my sex and more to do with me being Nos7algiK. If you wish to know deeper, I do not agree with most men on the forum and find it somewhat cringing and will only set themselves up to be devils in a woman's eye. But, that may stem from being out of touch with my own masculine side. I honestly can't say.
 

What has to be understood is that male sexuality is both personal and impersonal in the same way that female sexuality is both personal and impersonal.

It is the same thing as any animal. Let’s take a cat for example. All cats will be fundamentally similar to one another. But if you’ve ever had a cat as a pet, you will know that their personalities are unique.

So, male sexuality (as a general instinct) is two-fold.

On one hand, you have the more reptilian brain stuff. This includes the desire for dominance and variety. It is most interested in seeking sex with as many fertile women as possible. And this makes a man most attuned to young women who he can claim as his own and impregnate to spread his genetic material as widely as possible. This part competes with other men hierarchically to impregnate as many women as possible. And to this part of him women are 100% interchangeable. 

On the other hand, you have the prefrontal cortex stuff. This is the part of the man that is pro-social that is interested in building community around himself. This is the part of him that is interested in love and friendship with a woman. And it is interesting in caring for and supporting his partner and family. This drive isn’t as spicy as the other drive but it is deeper and more gratifying... as long as his other drive is not being squelched.

But of course, every man is unique. Some men are naturally geared towards one more than the other. And some men are repressed relative to one or the other. 

But every man has a lion and a lion tamer in him. No two lions are exactly the same. No two lion tamers are exactly the same. But all lions share similarities with other lions. And all lion tamers have a similar function to other lion tamers.

[Nos7algiK]

31 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And I think that making men realize that there are many elements of female sexuality that can’t be gamed is really threatening to them. They recognize more the dangers of the ocean.

Wouldn't it be more effective to educate men on their own feminine side? It's difficult to teach others about external emotions/feelings another has within without being able to recognize that in yourself as well. Without this self recognition the mind will warp how the other feels through their own lens. 

So how does one see the other side without seeing it inside their self first? This is and has been my entire argument. But, it would be nice to understand why it needs to be done or why a man's feminine side doesn't need to be embraced to understand.

Edited July 24, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Emerald]

2 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

Wouldn't it be more effective to educate men on their own feminine side? It's difficult to teach others about external emotions/feelings another has within without being able to recognize that in yourself as well. Without this self recognition the mind will warp how the other feels through their own lens. 

So how does one see the other side without seeing it inside their self first? This is and has been my entire argument. But, it would be nice to understand why it needs to be done or why a man's feminine side doesn't need to be embraced to understand.

Both are intertwined.

The Anima must be integrated before a man can really see a woman without projecting it.

But it is also important for women not to concede and go silent on their perspectives when men try to gaslight them out of it. 

Women must be firm in asserting their truths, otherwise no one learns about our perspective.

And before having some understanding of the female perspective, it will be much more difficult for a man to integrate his feminine side.

[Preety_India]

@Nos7algiK you should watch Emerald's yin and yang video. It has some great insights.

 

Edited July 24, 2021 by Preety_India