Struggling with Blackpill

[Hulia]

@Hello from Russia @Harlen Kelly Guy, do you hear, what I am saying???

I have been approached by PU-ers. Empirically! Isnt it much better than theoretical stuff? Ask me , why I rejected. But well you are not interested to know. Go to your coaches and books ?

Edited July 22, 2021 by Hulia

[Harlen Kelly]

@Hulia This should not be so difficult for you to comprehend, the fact that a guy approaches does not mean he knows how to attract women or that he is a PUA. 

Again, for the third time,  think of the guy who captivated you the most emotionally, that is the guy we are referring to. 

Not a caricature in your mind, but they guy who once rocked your world, that guy.

Edited July 22, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Hello from Russia]

1 minute ago, Hulia said:

@Hello from Russia @Harlen Kelly Guy, do you hear, what I am saying???

I have been approached by PU-ers. Empirically! Isnt it much better than theoretical stuff? Ask me , why I rejected. But well you are not interested to know. Go to your coaches and books ?

No need to be condescending. It's great to have this experience, but we don't know who you actually were approached by and their development level. Overall, it seems like you've never been approached by a guy who is genuinely high value, so it pretty much doesn't count

[Etherial Cat]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Could. But in practice isn't.

Yes, of course. Your average bum is most likely a broken, unhealthy, low consciousness human. 

But let's not forget that you've got also people who give up on social status and material possession, because they see little meaning in it and hang out in limbo for a while after severing the tie with their previous life.

You can't exclude the idea of meeting the Eckhart Tolle or Siddharta Gautama of the world in odd position at some point perhaps even hanging around your local train station.

Eckhart Tolle was literally a bum hanging in parks and sleeping on London benches. Yet, even with that he was largely of higher value for society back then than your average psycho driving a Porsche and working in the City. The dude was fully enlightened and about to become a great spiritual teacher! So you can be a bum and still be high value even if it doesn't show.

What I mean by that is that someone's value is not entirely tied to stuff that you can observe and quantify.

And also from one day to the other, a "high value", financially at ease individual can lose it all. So I'd beware of assigning value in people mostly to transient/added things, outside of who they are on a character level for reason such as this. Most of the value you've got depends on who you are as a person and occurs on the being level.

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Sure, you value that stuff. But you also have deep female attraction for strength, confidence, charisma, leadership, boldness, assertiveness, masculine energy, charm, wit, humor, status, authority, success, etc. And it is predominately this which will make you sleep with a guy, not your lofty spiritual values.

Attraction happens on a lower animal level.

These are very desirable qualities, of course.

But you can have all of them and still be an ass. These exist through different expressions. Basically they need to be incarnated with wisdom and balanced through some integrated feminine energy as well. 

So I'd say that they are great, but not sufficient. In a nutshell, ticking all of these boxes can still land you the Ramzan Kadirov of the world and someone who will not make a good partner.

The "lofty spiritual values" are kinda necessary for these qualities to be complete. Otherwise, what you've got is very likely a shadowy, ego-driven sort of masculinity.

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Because I have higher values.

So... Aren't we agreeing here? 

Edited July 22, 2021 by Etherial Cat

[Gesundheit2]

37 minutes ago, Emerald said:

High quality men aren't interested in women who are needy and who aren't a challenge to them.    

The age-old female version of pickup advice. You invented this shit. We are just giving it back to you.

Do you really think you're being high value when you withhold sex? Well, we will counter that strategy with pickup advice to push for sex asap.

This is not because we don't want a relationship, but because women are manipulative from the get-go. And so, we don't want to waste time with manipulative people.

In reality, a girl can be interesting/challenging without withholding sex. It's just that you're lazy and manipulative that you use the easiest tricks in your sleeves. You can challenge a man with a lot of things, such as your intelligent, life experience, skills, hobbies, achievements, etc. But no, you would rather use sex, because you know your lack in all of those other fields.

When you withhold sex, you're not being high value. You're just being fake. You're lying to yourself first and foremost. Because even if the sex won't be incredible in the beginning, it will still be a good experience to have. But no, you don't want a good experience. You want control and manipulation. You want all the blanket to your side. Well, keep on that track, and you'll wind up alone.

A lot of guys want a relationship, but they won't wait until the woman decides it's a good time to give him a piece of pussy in order to keep him hooked. Instead, women should learn how to hook guys without withholding sex.

I know you have this whole narrative about the qualitative difference in experience, but again, the sex doesn't have to be incredible from the beginning.

If you think withholding sex is a good screening method, then you really don't know anything at all. Why? Because only a needy/desperate guy will wait a long time for sex.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Harlen Kelly said:

It's an analogy to illustrate what a man who has captivated your emotions can get you to do. I did not mean literally.

This is what most men are interested in, after that you are the one who has to prove to be worthy of a monogamous relationship. I already attracted and nailed you. If you don't prove to be worthy of a monogamous relationship you either stay in the rotation or a stop contacting you.

That's incorrect. Women are the selectors, not men. 

Women don't have to prove anything as that is not the job of the selector. In fact, if a woman is trying to prove herself worthy of a man's love, she's already lost because she's shifted into her masculine and the man has shifted into his feminine. And polarity flipped relationships really don't feel good to women. 

The egg does not chase the sperm. The egg doesn't need to prove herself worthy of the sperm. It is the sperm that must prove himself worthy of the egg. 

It is the man who must prove himself worthy of the love, affection, and sex of the woman through the courtship process. This is why a woman is wise to vet out how much the man is invested in her (and she him) before things turn sexual. 

And if a man is not interested in a relationship, he becomes unimportant. It's best to move on before you get invested. You can't turn a player into a husband. Just don't even try. 

And if a man requires sex before relationship, then that's equally a red flag. It shows that he's not invested in you in particular and that he lacks the virtue of patience. And you don't want to be in a relationship with a guy like that.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Hello from Russia said:

You're kinda transferring your shadow to your students by advising so, imo

No, I'm just giving advice to women who leave a lot of their power off the table in interactions with men. 

[Hulia]

55 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Again, for the third time,  think of the guy who captivated you the most emotionally, that is the guy we are referring to. 

Not a caricature in your mind, but they guy who once rocked your world, that guy.

What answer are you expecting from me? That the PU methods rocked my world? ?

Something special was about his mind - the volume, the clarity, the penetrability (so what?). I am sure that these qualities of mind he didn´t acquire via PU courses and PA books. And the heart, as big as the mind. But alcoholic ? No perfection in this world!

I don´t know what you mean by caricature in my mind

[Harlen Kelly]

25 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That's incorrect. Women are the selectors, not men. 

You are the selector only up until  the moment you get nailed. Only men without options will continue to pursue a woman after closing instead of letting her pursue them to determine if they want to stablish a relationship with her or not. 

It is women who romanticize the idea of monogamy and marriage, not men. 

You don't do any pursuing after getting nailed? you either stay on the rotation (casual sex) or I stop contacting you, very simple.

Edited July 22, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Emerald]

26 minutes ago, Gesundheit2 said:

The age-old female version of pickup advice. You invented this shit. We are just giving it back to you.

Do you really think you're being high value when you withhold sex? Well, we will counter that strategy with pickup advice to push for sex asap.

This is not because we don't want a relationship, but because women are manipulative from the get-go. And so, we don't want to waste time with manipulative people.

In reality, a girl can be interesting/challenging without withholding sex. It's just that you're lazy and manipulative that you use the easiest tricks in your sleeves. You can challenge a man with a lot of things, such as your intelligent, life experience, skills, hobbies, achievements, etc. But no, you would rather use sex, because you know your lack in all of those other fields.

When you withhold sex, you're not being high value. You're just being fake. You're lying to yourself first and foremost. Because even if the sex won't be incredible in the beginning, it will still be a good experience to have. But no, you don't want a good experience. You want control and manipulation. You want all the blanket to your side. Well, keep on that track, and you'll wind up alone.

A lot of guys want a relationship, but they won't wait until the woman decides it's a good time to give him a piece of pussy in order to keep him hooked. Instead, women should learn how to hook guys without withholding sex.

I know you have this whole narrative about the qualitative difference in experience, but again, the sex doesn't have to be incredible from the beginning.

If you think withholding sex is a good screening method, then you really don't know anything at all. Why? Because only a needy/desperate guy will wait a long time for sex.

It isn't about withholding sex. I recommend a woman follow her intuition when it comes to sex. And I personally need about 3 months to develop the feelings for a man to make sex feel loving and gratifying to me. And that only applies to just one guy at a time. I need to have deep feelings for one man in particular to be really compelled towards merging with him in the sacred dance.

So, there's absolutely no reason for me to seek a sexual relationship to a man who I feel lukewarm about. There's no reason to go looking for random sex if it's not gratifying. 

Also, it's not manipulation. I'm not being dishonest... in fact, I'm being VERY honest and straightforward about what I want and what I don't want. And I'm not trying to control anyone's behaviors by saying what I don't want. I'm just making my boundaries crystal clear.

And it truly means less than nothing to me for a man to compromise his own values and boundaries for me.

If they don't like my sexual boundaries, then they can and should go and find someone else who is more compatible with what they do want. I appreciate it when the wrong men for me sort themselves from consideration. 

So, it's really just about setting boundaries, so that you have the quality of experience that you want to have.

And it's a win-win for the man too. Men will tell you that what they want is easy sex... but that's only partially true for most men. What they really want at a deeper level is to feel like they (and they alone) have "won a woman's heart". And you rob him of that opportunity if you compromise your boundaries for him.

And if a man isn't willing to respect my boundaries or he has an issue with them and pushes for sex before I'm ripe for it, then I'm not going to compromise for him.

There are plenty of men out there that would cross land and sea and fight wild lions just to get a chance to love me. So, why would I settle for someone who rushes me and is ready to dip at the first sign of challenge. 

Also, trust me on this one... giving a man a "piece of pussy" is not a way to keep a man around... unless that man feels such a sense of scarcity that he's afraid he won't get sex from any other woman.

The only reason a man stays around is if he really loves you. That's it. And if he loves you and he's a good man, he will rise to the occasion for you. 

 

[Harlen Kelly]

2 minutes ago, Emerald said:

And I personally need about 3 months

You did not need that long when you were in your prime, and that's what most men care about.  

[Nos7algiK]

22 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That's incorrect. Women are the selectors, not men. 

Women don't have to prove anything as that is not the job of the selector. In fact, if a woman is trying to prove herself worthy of a man's love, she's already lost because she's shifted into her masculine and the man has shifted into his feminine. And polarity flipped relationships really don't feel good to women. 

This is not a healthy mindset to ground yourself in and will only cause failure down the road. To hold this mentality would only mean that which is being advertised for selection will use manipulation in order to be selected. You are a fool if you believe your own choices are true and just and your "selection" is purely based on your own inner feelings if serious personal development hasn't been done prior.

We need to allow, not select, and by allowing we become open to what is also equally as open. This is the base of a healthy relationship. Men have nothing to prove to a woman outside of being who they truly are at their core as a person. Women have nothing to prove to a man outside of the same concept.

The egg and sperm ideology is poor and doesn't work because a human is not a sperm or an egg, but rather an amalgamation of both polarities. Once this union is formed the only thing left is to "allow" the newly formed human to be born, to be. In turn the essence of all life will be naturally attracted to it.

I'm a firm believer that these gender stereotypes, specially in the terms of relationships, do nothing but hurt us in the long run. They are serve for a purpose for is on surface level. To truly see the depths of the human spectrum, I would even say go past our own humanity, is to merge the masculine/feminine energies in us prior to finding a mate. By doing so we no longer stereotype, more so if we don't do it we won't see these as stereotypes by rules of how it is. But, there are far more depth to is than that and once we truly find our own self love and worth we will equally see that in another. Courting from the man will no longer be a staple to be with someone and a woman no longer has to select that which naturally arises without thought.

[Emerald]

10 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

You are the selector only up until  the moment you get nailed. Only men without options will continue to pursue a woman after closing instead of letting her pursue them to determine if they want to stablish a relationship with her or not. 

It is women who romanticize the idea of monogamy and marriage, not men. 

You don't do the pursuing after getting nailed? you either stay on the rotation (casual sex) or I stop contacting you, very simple.

And that's why I recommend being very clear about your boundaries as a woman and avoiding men who start on a sexual note. It helps to sort the low quality men who have your mindset, as men with this mindset will sort themselves if you have boundaries and self-respect. 

Don't give in to some lukewarm sexual desire for some guy until you really know his character and if you're compatible with him. And never sleep with a man you don't feel would be a good husband or father... even if you don't plan to get married or have kids. It's a good rule of thumb.

There are tons of low value men out there who will ditch you as soon as you sleep with them or treat you like nothing. 

This is case in point for why my recommendation is to develop a platonic relationship to a man prior to getting involved with him sexually. Have a dynamic social circle and let your feelings lead you to a higher quality man with more humanizing views of women. 

 

[Emerald]

3 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

This is not a healthy mindset to ground yourself in and will only cause failure down the road. To hold this mentality would only mean that which is being advertised for selection will use manipulation in order to be selected. You are a fool if you believe your own choices are true and just and your "selection" is purely based on your own inner feelings if serious personal development hasn't been done prior.

We need to allow, not select, and by allowing we become open to what is also equally as open. This is the base of a healthy relationship. Men have nothing to prove to a woman outside of being who they truly are at their core as a person. Women have nothing to prove to a man outside of the same concept.

The egg and sperm ideology is poor and doesn't work because a human is not a sperm or an egg, but rather an amalgamation of both polarities. Once this union is formed the only thing left is to "allow" the newly formed human to be born, to be. In turn the essence of all life will be naturally attracted to it.

I'm a firm believer that these gender stereotypes, specially in the terms of relationships, do nothing but hurt us in the long run. They are serve for a purpose for is on surface level. To truly see the depths of the human spectrum, I would even say go past our own humanity, is to merge the masculine/feminine energies in us prior to finding a mate. By doing so we no longer stereotype, more so if we don't do it we won't see these as stereotypes by rules of how it is. But, there are far more depth to is than that and once we truly find our own self love and worth we will equally see that in another. Courting from the man will no longer be a staple to be with someone and a woman no longer has to select that which naturally arises without thought.

It isn't manipulation, it's just being really clear and honest about what you do and don't want. It's boundary setting. 

And you may believe that these more general understandings of gender are made up, but my experience has not bore that out. 

Women who get the best results are patient and who communicate self-respect and clear boundaries. 

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

The more stupid you act, the more likely you are to get laid. Girls are attracted to pure stupidity. Sorry, but that's the cold hard reality of it.

But I'm not attracted to stupidity.

I like intelligence.

 

[Nos7algiK]

Just now, Emerald said:

It isn't manipulation, it's just being really clear and honest about what you do and don't want. It's boundary setting. 

And you may believe that these more general understandings of gender are made up, but my experience has not bore that out. 

Women who get the best results are patient and who communicate self-respect and clear boundaries. 

I'm not saying the woman is manipulating, but rather her as the "selector" will only find manipulation in order to peak her interest. This is how advertisement works. If you are waiting for someone to prove their worth then their worth will only be a misrepresentation of what is actually true.

I don't believe this general understandings of gender are made up. Rather, I believe it's very very important as a community of people attempting to self-actualize ourselves to overcome these gender stereotypes. We inherently hold the same values within us as a man and a woman. But, there is an immeasurable amount of social conditioning that deceives us into believing otherwise. Look past all that BS, and you will find a universal shared spark of the same source. If you can touch that in yourself, you can then see it in another. Bearing witness to this spark is one of the most appreciated feelings you can have towards another.

I do agree patience is a virtue and both parties should hold this idea to the highest degree.

[Gesundheit2]

10 minutes ago, Emerald said:

There are plenty of men out there that would cross land and sea and fight wild lions just to get a chance to love me.

Oh my gosh! That did turn me on lol. Sorry. The princess mindset is so hot!!!

And while I am absolutely certain that what you said is true, I don't think you get to create the challenges. If the challenges aren't real/authentic, then they're part of your manipulation scheme, which is really unappealing to men. At best, it communicates low interest. And at worst, it communicates narcissism/arrogance.

I agree that you should follow your feelings/instincts, but honestly, it doesn't seem like that when you advice to wait despite you finding the guy attractive. It does seem that the boundaries you're advocating are artificial and not authentic at all. But hey, whatever rocks your boat. In the end, you play your game, and we'll play ours. And then we'll all lose together 

[Harlen Kelly]

@Emerald Hahhhhahaha, have you considered doing stand-up comedy? 

You are outstandingly selfish in regards to your bias as a female, and label the male bias as ''low quality'' which is not very sophisticated. Leo pointed that out multiple times but you are completely oblivious to that pattern.

Guess what? The current Emerald who you have to wait 3 months to have sex with is not ''high value'' for 90% of men (and high value guys would stay miles way from that because they simply don't have to deal with it since they have options), the emerald in her 20s when she is in her prime physically, and she doesn't wait 3 months to give it up would be regarded as ''high value'' by 90% of heterosexual men. 

Surprise, surprise. 

Edited July 22, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Hulia]

 

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

But I'm not attracted to stupidity.

I like intelligence.

 

I think, something is wrong with the girls in Las Vegas. Have you ever been there? To confirm my theory

[Preety_India]

Just now, Hulia said:

 

I think, something is wrong with the girls in Las Vegas. Have you ever been there? To confirm my theory

No I haven't been there.