Struggling with Blackpill

[NoSelfSelf]

52 minutes ago, Emerald said:

That's incorrect. Women are the selectors, not men. 

Women don't have to prove anything as that is not the job of the selector. In fact, if a woman is trying to prove herself worthy of a man's love, she's already lost because she's shifted into her masculine and the man has shifted into his feminine. And polarity flipped relationships really don't feel good to women. 

The egg does not chase the sperm. The egg doesn't need to prove herself worthy of the sperm. It is the sperm that must prove himself worthy of the egg. 

It is the man who must prove himself worthy of the love, affection, and sex of the woman through the courtship process. This is why a woman is wise to vet out how much the man is invested in her (and she him) before things turn sexual. 

And if a man is not interested in a relationship, he becomes unimportant. It's best to move on before you get invested. You can't turn a player into a husband. Just don't even try. 

And if a man requires sex before relationship, then that's equally a red flag. It shows that he's not invested in you in particular and that he lacks the virtue of patience. And you don't want to be in a relationship with a guy like that.

This is disturbing to read ? 

[Emerald]

8 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

You did not need that long when you were in your prime, and that's what most men care about.  

The keyword here is "most" men. I'm not looking for "most" men. Most men are very low quality prospects for a relationship.

Also, I have been this way since I was about 15 or 16.

I started to notice, once I got more dating experience in middle school and high school, that it really did take me a couple months or so to get strong feelings.

And I was very selective once that started to happen. I caught wise early to the player type of guys because of earlier experiences, and I naturally could sniff it out and avoid it.

Plus, I really wanted to save my virginity for someone I love who I was in a relationship with, which I did. I had been spending so many months with him before the relationship started. But I said that I wanted to wait for 3 months into the relationship to have sex. And he was so respectful of that. I wanted to sleep with him in a week because I knew I wanted to lose it to him. But he made me wait a month because he didn't want me to go back on my boundary. 

So, I developed strong boundaries way back then. 

So, even in the prime of fertility, this was still true of me. And though I did have several hook-ups when I was single in my early 20s, it still was pretty uninteresting. Definitely nothing to write home about. 

But i understand that I have a smaller pool of interested men now that I'm 32 compared to when I was 20. But a lot of that interest that I had in my early 20s was very low-quality interest. Lots of spam guys who are just looking for somewhere young to put their dicks. 

For a man who's geared towards a relationship (and not just some pick up guy who's looking to bang lots of hot women), he will likely be looking for a woman around his age. The average age difference in couples is about 2 years.

So, this is really the type of man that I'm looking for. And this is why pick up artists need not apply. 

[RendHeaven]

Jeeeeeez I leave for 1 night and there's a whole war lmao.

And I love how the title of this thread is "struggling with blackpill" ??

---

The disparity here is crystal-clear to me:

To the ladies who compare pickup principles to mcdonald's... sorry~ that ain't it!

The spectrum of unhealthy to healthy foods has analogously nothing to do with pickup principles.

The spectrum of tasting bad to tasting good is analogous to pickup principles.

In other words, no matter how healthy you eat, so long as your food TASTES GOOD, pickup principles are taking place.

Pickup principles are taking place at mcdonalds, but they are also taking place in the healthy homecooked meal so long as it tastes good.

Conversely, if you eat super healthy but it tastes like shit, that's analogous to a guy lacking pickup principles. 

This is what the guys are trying to get you to see. We agree with you that mcdonalds is bad. We should all strive to eat healthier. But the guys are saying, let's strive to eat healthier AND tastier food. Pickup principles exist to facilitate the latter.

To the guys:

Just shut the fuck up and (sincerely) accept the ladies for expressing their desires! damn.

Who cares if they mischaracterize pickup principles? It's as if you're serving ice cream, and the customer says something like "I want the pink ice cream over there" and then you're like "*ahem* actually that's magenta" LIKE OK BRO MAYBE ITS FUCKING MAGENTA, but the customer doesn't care about the precise hue of their ice cream, they're just here to have a good experience but you're actively preventing that by having such a stick up your own ass.

We don't give women even a shred of acceptance because we care more about being right.

But there are times when being right is actually wrong.

Going back to the text in red above, really consider that women want to have a conversation about healthy eating.

Maybe they don't completely understand what makes food taste good, but when they say "hey let's focus on healthy eating" it's NOT your job to march in and declare "ACTUALLY SO ABOUT TASTE..."

Consider that we can seriously learn something important about healthy eating by listening to women.

Edited July 22, 2021 by RendHeaven

[Emerald]

10 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Emerald Hahhhhahaha, have you considered doing stand-up comedy? 

You are outstandingly selfish in regards to your bias as a female, and label the male bias as ''low quality'' which is not very sophisticated. Leo pointed that out multiple times but you are completely oblivious to that pattern.

Guess what? The current Emerald who you have to wait 3 months to have sex with is not ''high value'' for 90% of men (and high value guys would stay miles way from that because they simply don't have to deal with it since they have options), the emerald in her 20s when she is in her prime physically, and she doesn't wait 3 months to give it up would be regarded as ''high value'' by 90% of heterosexual men. 

Surprise, surprise. 

And that's fine. I like it when incompatible men sort themselves. 

My job as a selector is not attracting. There's not problem there. I am not dealing with any sense of scarcity of male attraction. Male attraction is very abundant. 

My job as a selector is sorting the wheat from the chaff. 

[Hulia]

10 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

No I haven't been there.

 

I think, the greatest attraction of Leo is his overwhelming intelligence. But somehow it doesn´t work with his local girls. He even has to scale it down to attract girls. I cannot beleive it. 

He is superintelligent but emotionally he is naiv like a child. I think it´s a pretty sexy combination. But probably not for Las Vegas.

[Nos7algiK]

5 minutes ago, Emerald said:

My job as a selector is sorting the wheat from the chaff. 

As long as someone believes "I am the prize" then only devils will attempt to win you over.

As long as someone believes "I must win that prize" then again only devilry will be afoot. 

Your self worth is infinite, literally. It never can be won or bought. But, it can be met in equal union with another who also acknowledges their own self worth.

[Emerald]

8 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

This is disturbing to read ? 

Don't worry, all of this happens silently for most women.

There is no need to make a man feel rejected, especially if he's a well-meaning guy.

Now, if he's misogynistic, I'm going to let him know how quickly most women will sort him on the basis of being low value.

It's just that women's sexuality is very selective if she's in touch with her intuition.

So, it might seem scary to be sorted this way... But understand that, when a woman really falls for you, it's meaningful to her.

[Harlen Kelly]

@Emerald You are not sorting the wheat from the chaff because an exceptional man (leader, purpose driven, charismatic, in the zone, etc..) will not wait 3 months to sleep with a woman. 

Why? because since he is an exceptional guy, other women will want to be with him as well, he does not need to wait for sex. This is so obvious.

Guys without options need to wait for sex, they don't have options because they are perceived as unattractive by women.  

If that is the type of guy you want to attract then go right ahead, but don't delude yourself into thinking that you are somehow ''sorting the wheat form the chaff'', spoiler alert, you are definitely not. 

Edited July 22, 2021 by Harlen Kelly

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Nos7algiK said:

As long as someone believes "I am the prize" then only devils will attempt to win you over.

As long as someone believes "I must win that prize" then again only devilry will be afoot. 

Your self worth is infinite, literally. It never can be won or bought. But, it can be met in equal union with another who also acknowledges their own self worth.

I'm sorry. That's just a part of the mating dance.

A lot of women get wrapped up in their feelings for a man and forget that they're the prize, and they end up chasing after a man as though he is. And this murders the attraction dynamics, for one. It also opens the doors for a woman to accept a man who is bad for her. 

This is why adopting the "I am the prize" mindset can be really helpful for keeping that in check. 

But of course, once a relationship is established, you don't need to lead with that. But it's still good to keep in mind to keep the spark alive. 

[Nos7algiK]

1 minute ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Emerald You are not sorting the wheat from the chaff because an exceptional man (leader, purpose driven, charismatic, in the zone, etc..) will not wait 3 months to sleep with a woman. 

Why? because since he is an exceptional guy, other women will want to be with him as well, he does not need to wait for sex. This is so obvious.

Guys without options need to wait for sex.   

A high quality man doesn't need to wait for sex due to sex being abundant. But, rather he finds value in the other aspects of a relationship that are worth cultivating overtime so when sex is finally obtained it's brings exponential meaning to the relationship rather than sex with low-tier intimacy. That not only fits their partners emotional needs, but can find new light in an aspect of intimacy rarely explored for a man.

A Chad who can sleep with anyone is not a high value man.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald This is so manipulative in my eyes but i guess it has to be like this women trying to be selfish as possible to counter mens selfishness(vice versa) in ideal world there should be clear communication for what you want and if other person doesnt want it move on...

Its all wanting more and more while not having value to bring to demand

[Emerald]

3 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

@Emerald You are not sorting the wheat from the chaff because an exceptional man (leader, purpose driven, charismatic, in the zone, etc..) will not wait 3 months to sleep with a woman. 

Why? because since he is an exceptional guy, other women will want to be with him as well, he does not need to wait for sex. This is so obvious.

Guys without options need to wait for sex, they don't have options because they are perceived as unattractive by women.   

I'm sorry. If a guy is super focused only on how quickly he gets sex, then he's a low quality guy. And a woman would be wise to sort him. 

If a man isn't willing to get to know me first, then this tells me everything that I need to know about his character.

Mind you, the type of men that I find high quality, wouldn't even register on your radar as a high quality man. And the type of man you believe is high quality, would be low quality in my book. 

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Nos7algiK said:

A high quality man doesn't need to wait for sex due to sex being abundant. But, rather he finds value in the other aspects of a relationship that are worth cultivating overtime so when sex is finally obtained it's brings exponential meaning to the relationship rather than sex with low-tier intimacy. That not only fits their partners emotional needs, but can find new light in an aspect of intimacy rarely explored for a man.

A Chad who can sleep with anyone is not a high value man.

I'm so so glad you said this 

This was so much needed because of the prevalent notion on the forum that a Chad who sleeps a lot is considered high value.

 

[Nos7algiK]

2 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I'm sorry. That's just a part of the mating dance.

A lot of women get wrapped up in their feelings for a man and forget that they're the prize, and they end up chasing after a man as though he is. And this murders the attraction dynamics, for one. It also opens the doors for a woman to accept a man who is bad for her. 

This is why adopting the "I am the prize" mindset can be really helpful for keeping that in check. 

But of course, once a relationship is established, you don't need to lead with that. But it's still good to keep in mind to keep the spark alive. 

"You don't know what you are missing" is literal. If you believe this is just how it is, part of the mating dance as you say. Then you truly are missing out on what I'm trying to convey. It is magical, it is true, it is raw, it is blissful, and without these games being played you will then in turn meet someone on the same soul level as yourself. Do not let society or your own past personal experiences dictate your future endeavors. They are self fulfilling and self biased.

[Harlen Kelly]

1 minute ago, Emerald said:

Mind you, the type of men that I find high quality, wouldn't even register on your radar as a high quality man. And the type of man you believe is high quality, would be low quality in my book. 

Who is that, they guy who most women find unattractive which is why he does not have options?

Again, if that is the type of guy you want to attract then go right ahead, but don't delude yourself into thinking that you are somehow ''sorting the wheat form the chaff'', spoiler alert, you are definitely not. 

[Emerald]

Just now, NoSelfSelf said:

@Emerald This is so manipulative in my eyes but i guess it has to be like this women trying to be selfish as possible to counter mens selfishness(vice versa) in ideal world there should be clear communication for what you want and if other person doesnt want it move on...

Its all wanting more and more while not having value to bring to demand

You see, it isn't really selfish because it sets up a win-win situation. It's not like anyone loses in that scenario.

The men I'm not interested in win because they can move on to find someone who is interested or to continue doing pick up. So, I don't waste any of their time. 

The man I'm interested who reciprocates wins because my choices have led to the relationship he wants.

And I win because I get the relationship that I want with a man who I'm really attracted to who really cliques with me, loves me, and values me.

I look to repel who I don't want to leave room for who I do want.

 

[Emerald]

4 minutes ago, Nos7algiK said:

"You don't know what you are missing" is literal. If you believe this is just how it is, part of the mating dance as you say. Then you truly are missing out on what I'm trying to convey. It is magical, it is true, it is raw, it is blissful, and without these games being played you will then in turn meet someone on the same soul level as yourself. Do not let society or your own past personal experiences dictate your future endeavors. They are self fulfilling and self biased.

It isn't a game. It's a strategy for avoiding bad relationships.

Once you're in the relationship, you don't have to screen so hard. 

That's when you can show the man what's raw, true, magical, and blissful.

But if you're in the attraction phase, I recommend screening very strictly based on your intuition and your boundaries. And the mindset "I am the prize" helps you do this.

Otherwise, women tend to get too attached and will treat the man as though he is by trying to impress and court him. And this doesn't work in the courtship process.

The more equal dynamic you're talking about is more like a healthy relationship that's already been established.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald I overlooked that its true..i didnt take into account that you talking about yourself and not in general terms...

[Emerald]

5 minutes ago, Harlen Kelly said:

Who is that, they guy who most women find unattractive which is why he does not have options?

Again, if that is the type of guy you want to attract then go right ahead, but don't delude yourself into thinking that you are somehow ''sorting the wheat form the chaff'', spoiler alert, you are definitely not. 

I would tend to be attracted to men who are emotionally intelligent and caring, who are authentic and not very hung up on sex.

Just to give some celebrity examples, I would be interested in the type of guy who has a vibe like Steve Irwin or Bob Ross or someone like that. Or like a Rupert Spira of Adyashanti type of guy. Or like Cornel West or something. 

Basically, someone who's kind and smart and driven toward the positive things they want in the world. I mean honestly, I would be so proud to be the partner of any one of these men. 

And you have to screen out the assholes if you want one of these kind of men. 

[Harlen Kelly]

3 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I would tend to be attracted to men who are emotionally intelligent and caring, who are authentic and not very hung up on sex.

So you are not very much into sex? that explains it. That's atypical.

4 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Just to give some celebrity examples, I would be interested in the type of guy who has a vibe like Steve Irwin or Bob Ross or someone like that. Or like a Rupert Spira of Adyashanti type of guy. Or like Cornel West or something. 

There are hundreds of women who just like you would like to be with them, that does not necessarily mean they will act on that or anything but those are high value men. You really think given the amount of options they have they would wait 3 months until you finally decide to give it up? I don't think so. 

Edited July 22, 2021 by Harlen Kelly