Struggling with Blackpill

[Nos7algiK]

22 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

However I'm still not able to fully grasp this advice..like exactly how are you supposed to activate that inner bulb ? 

This is a difficult thing to describe. It's somewhat like if you asked me "How can I be certain what intuition is vs ego?" Pattern recognition is very helpful here, but it is still surface level. Just like intuition there has to be a certain level of trust/faith for it to keep aiding you in life. A good reference point is to turn internally and ask "If I was the other party how would I deceive me?" and if the conclusion reflects the actions that the man is acting towards you. Then you are most likely being deceived. If someone is mirroring you, subtle questions about topics of what is being said to be mirrored is a good way to ween out if they are being true as well. But, all of this is naturally recognized when you do reach that self love.

Again, stating red flags is nice and all, but it doesn't help with our own flags. Our own flags my seem red to us personally, but they are checkered flags for others to start the race. If we are waving this big flag, then of course others will attempt to play the game with us no matter what the means. Learn to get rid of those flags, no game needs to be played nor will be played.

 

22 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

-Imagine a real dollar bill and a fake dollar bill. Initially both dollar bills look very similar. Just no way of telling one from another 

But then an expert tells me to look at the corner of the fake dollar bill and tells me to notice that there's a small mark there that doesn't exist on the real bill. 

So over time I learn to perfect the craft of noticing that mark on that fake dollar bill and this way I learn how to easily spot a fake dollar bill and remove it quickly from the stash of real dollar bills.

This is helpful, but can only get you so far. What if a new way to fake a bill if created? How many ways can you memorize differing fake bills? An external source programming us with information on how to do something will eventually reach it's limit. The key here is to develop(realize) your own software that automatically detects fake bills. It will never fail, for your database is directly connected to the Source of creation of said bills. Because it's yourself of course, but I'll try to leave that type of spiritual stuff out of this. This means someone would have to be a fool to try to trick you because they will get caught out 100% of the time.

The tools can take sometime to acquire. Aside from self-love one of the most powerful tools we can have is faith in ourselves. Believe in yourself without fully knowing or having proof to your own actions. I have faith in you for I know you have the capacity to achieve any goal you strive for. To attract the perfect mate as well. You are well minded enough to achieve this easily in all honesty.
 

Edited July 22, 2021 by Nos7algiK

[Emerald]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

This is beautiful advice. I love how you said that the woman should wait for something organic to arise.

For me this is essential because I'm kinda red blooded and I fall fast and furious into love, especially without using much intellect and using too much emotion.

Yeah, it’s best to hold out for the good stuff, which does require some emotional mastery and discipline.

It’s kind of like the experiment they did with the little kids and the marshmallows.

They would put 3-5 year olds by themselves in the room with a big marshmallow while telling them that they can either eat the one marshmallow now or be patient and hold off on eating the one marshmallow and they will be given another marshmallow later.

And most children would at first try to not eat the marshmallow but would fail. A small percentage did hold off until later.

And these same kids are now adults. And they found that those that were able to hold off on the marshmallow to get the second one, now have a lot more successes in their adult lives.

Though, of course, this quality can also be cultivated.

But good things come to those who wait. This is especially true for women looking for a male partner.

If it’s fast and easy, it’s unlikely to yield the results you want.

[Emerald]

8 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Extremely interesting.

For sure. Patience, emotional mastery, and discipline are super important for cultivating a high quality life.

This of course is true for both men and women in any context.

But it’s especially true for women seeking relationships. If you want a really good one, you’ll have to be disciplined enough to hold out for what feels best and not just pretty good.

Of course, it’s much easier to hold off for better if you feel abundant in you opportunities.

But if you feel a sense of scarcity, you might just be tempted to eat your one marshmallow right away instead of holding off for more.

Edited July 22, 2021 by Emerald

[Emerald]

26 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Yeah, totally.

You are a pretty smart and conscientious woman. I'm pretty sure you will be able to find a man of, or at least,  close to your level.

Thank you.

I’m sure that if/when I’m ready for something in the future, I won’t have issues with finding a compatible guy. Though the thought of relationship is unappealing to me right now. 

[Leo Gura]

10 hours ago, Emerald said:

But my experience has been that it takes a few months for the emotion to hit a fever pitch. It’s like a very slow boil.

That is true for low value guys who got no game.

The whole purpose of game is to make one so attractive as to condense that typical few months time-frame down to 4 hours.

It sounds crazy, but it's possible to do. If you think about it, there is no good reason why it should take a few months to build a deep rapport with a stranger. It only takes that long when people are doing it lazily, unconsciously, by accident. But if you take conscious control over the process, it can happen much faster.

From a guy's POV, waiting a month to sleep with a girl is just a giant waste of time and energy. As a guy we can figure out whether we want to sleep with a girl within 5 minutes. The rest is just cat and mouse games.

Even though it's called "game", ironically it is women who play the most games. A guy is very clear about what he wants. So the guy's "game" is just a reflection of the game that women force him to play to get what he clearly knows he wants. Because if a guy does not play along with your games, you will reject him.

Things would be much easier and simpler if we could just approach and say, "Hey, I like you. I think we should fuck." But this doesn't work. It's too truthful. Hence the game. Okay, game on.

[Preety_India]

13 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Thank you.

I’m sure that if/when I’m ready for something in the future, I won’t have issues with finding a compatible guy. Though the thought of relationship is unappealing to me right now. 

Why do you talk about finding a guy ?

You're already married and have a husband, so I thought ?

You told that you had kids and husband.

 

[Preety_India]

11 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Things would be must easier and simpler if we could just approach and say, "Hey, I like you. I think we should fuck." But this doesn't work. It's too truthful.

Why do you want only sex ?

Why aren't you looking for a genuine relationship and intimacy with a woman like a monogamous relationship, the way other boyfriends do ?

[Leo Gura]

11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Why do you want only sex ?

Why aren't you looking for a genuine relationship and intimacy with a woman like a monogamous relationship, the way other boyfriends do ?

They are not mutually exclusive.

There is no genuine relationship with a woman until after sex. She is not invested enough for there to be a relationship.

[Preety_India]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

They are not mutually exclusive.

There is no genuine relationship with a woman until after sex. She is not invested enough for there to be a relationship.

But do you want a relationship with the woman who you're sleeping with ? Like intimacy ?

 

[Leo Gura]

4 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

But do you want a relationship with the woman who you're sleeping with ? Like intimacy ?

Of course. That comes automatically for me.

[electroBeam]

28 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

That is true for low value guys who got no game.

The whole purpose of game is to make one so attractive as to condense that typical few months time-frame down to 4 hours.

It sounds crazy, but it's possible to do. If you think about it, there is no good reason why it should take a few months to build a deep rapport with a stranger. It only takes that long when people are doing it lazily, unconsciously, by accident. But if you take conscious control over the process, it can happen much faster.

From a guy's POV, waiting a month to sleep with a girl is just a giant waste of time and energy. As a guy we can figure out whether we want to sleep with a girl within 5 minutes. The rest is just cat and mouse games.

Even though it's called "game", ironically it is women who play the most games. A guy is very clear about what he wants. So the guy's "game" is just a reflection of the game that women force him to play to get what he clearly knows he wants. Because if a guy does not play along with your games, you will reject him.

Things would be much easier and simpler if we could just approach and say, "Hey, I like you. I think we should fuck." But this doesn't work. It's too truthful. Hence the game. Okay, game on.

Fucking a girl and getting in a relationship are 2 different things though.

Some guys wanna fuck a girl, some girls wanna fuck a guy, some guys wanna relationship with a girl, some girls wanna relationship with a guy.

You're comparing apples with oranges. You can get ultra good with pickup and somehow fuck every 2-3 billion women on the earth. That's different to a relationship though.

I think what emerald is talking about is a relationship.

You can condense it to 4 hours, to get sex, but to be in a relationship, it could actually be even better game to have patience and allow things to boil over time.

There are studies done that show relationships don't last as long the more sex you have. If you have less sex, the relationships last longer.

You're too narrowly focused on just sex. There's more to relationships then sex, and this narrow focus doesn't help us guys build good relationships.

We need more talk about compatibility and finding common interests. We need more talk about making a relationship last.

You can fuck a girl extremely well and if all you got is pickup and amazing sex (and you dont have a life) then she'll leave you.

And its perfectly possible to be extremely attractive and master pickup as a serial killer, murderer or rapist, good luck to those guys though in making a relationship last.

 

The thing is, is that if you don't have much feelings for a girl and you just find her hot, you'll have the motivation to learn pickup and fuck her, and you probably will end up doing that. But if you have feelings for companionship and relationships, you probably wont wanna fuck her because you'll want to keep her in a relationship. You'll feel more like getting into her soul then her pants.

And you also don't mention that no matter how attractive you are and how much of a sex or pickup master you are, there are gonna still be heaps of women who don't fall for it. There's heaps of asexual hippies out there who only sleep with guys she knows well. Don't delude people into thinking pickup will allow you to sleep with everyone, infact even extremely good pickup artists can only sleep with 30% of the population, that's highly ineffective. The rest of the 70% said no due to them having different types, tastes, compatibility, etc.

This hasn't been proven by studies or talked about, but what I've also noticed is that your attraction is affected by common interests and what your passions are and what hers are. Its also affected by the type of life you have... stuff outside of pickup. So I find it a bit dishonest to make out that pickup makes you so so so attractive that it will allow you to do all this amazing stuff like condense shit to 4 hours when there's a lot more to attracting women then just pickup. If you're only giving guys a quarter of the picture, and making out its the entire picture, you'll have guys trying to get successful with women and failing.

Edited July 22, 2021 by electroBeam

[EnRoute]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

There is no genuine relationship with a woman until after sex. She is not invested enough for there to be a relationship.

Why are women so interested in sex, @Leo Gura? I mean all people.

Men, women, they're all focusing on sex as being something extremely important in their lives.

And I noticed that some people are using sex as an indicator that the relationship will have better chances of being successful.

Just stuff, partying, going out, talking nonsense, sex, happiness, etc. - all this nonsense, without seeing what's really beautiful in life.

[Leo Gura]

3 hours ago, electroBeam said:

but to be in a relationship, it could actually be even better game to have patience and allow things to boil over time.

Do whatever you want but I ain't waiting a month to have sex.

This does not hinder my ability to have a relationship.

The thing is, strong successful men don't wait around for things. They see a thing and act on it immediately. This comes with the territory of being effective in the world. If a man is willing to wait a month to fuck you, this is not a guy you should be fucking. This is a lame beta guy who has no idea how to lead.

A real man is clear about what he wants and is very proactive about it. Women find this highly attractive. Because this is how shit gets done in the world. This is how success is made. This is how wars are won. This is how empires are built. This is how rockets are launched. This is how fires are put out. This is how lives are saved.

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, EnRoute said:

Why are women so interested in sex, @Leo Gura? I mean all people.

Men, women, they're all focusing on sex as being something extremely important in their lives.

And I noticed that some people are using sex as an indicator that the relationship will have better chances of being successful.

Just stuff, partying, going out, talking nonsense, sex, happiness, etc. - all this nonsense, without seeing what's really beautiful in life.

Bah! Those people don't exist anymore.

 

[Hulia]

12 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Do whatever you want but I ain't waiting a month to have sex.

This does not hinder my ability to have a relationship.

Because you are more unbiased than an average man. And you dont measure the quality of eventual relationship on how long she kept her boundaries or how many men she had before. An average guy would be afraid to go into relationship with a loose girl. So this game is also forced on women by men. On the one hand you want quick and easy sex, on the other hand you don´t want a partner capable of quick and easy sex. But the other reason is of course also the higher need for emotional connection, which still can arrive quicker than in a month  

[Jacob Morres]

24 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

A real man is clear about what he wants and is very proactive about it. Women find this highly attractive. Because this is how shit gets done in the world. This is how success is made. This is how wars are won. This is how empires are built. This is how rockets are launched. This is how fires are put out. This is how lives are saved.

???

interestingoso 

never knew this

Edited July 22, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Leo Gura]

10 minutes ago, Hulia said:

An average guy would be afraid to go into relationship with a loose girl.

The average guy is so lonely and desperate that he will be happy to get any girl at all.

The higher value guy you want to land, the higher his standards will be, the harder it will be lock him down, the more insecure you will feel around him. BTW, the same is true with high value girls, so spare me your tears. High value has a price.

[Hulia]

1 minute ago, Leo Gura said:

The average guy is so lonely and desperate that he will be happy to get any girl at all.

Well I don´t mean an average guy in sense of SMV but in a sense of mindset. He can be of high value but still have an average mindset. 

[StarStruck]

@Leo Gura you already know when you dating pickup program will be finished?

[electroBeam]

31 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Do whatever you want but I ain't waiting a month to have sex.

This does not hinder my ability to have a relationship.

The thing is, strong successful men don't wait around for things. They see a thing and act on it immediately. This comes with the territory of being effective in the world. If a man is willing to wait a month to fuck you, this is not a guy you should be fucking. This is a lame beta guy who has no idea how to lead.

A real man is clear about what he wants and is very proactive about it. Women find this highly attractive. Because this is how shit gets done in the world. This is how success is made. This is how wars are won. This is how empires are built. This is how rockets are launched. This is how fires are put out. This is how lives are saved.

Agree with the general sentiment that fear is bad and women arent attracted to it. Also agree that covering up fear with sneaky excuses is vomit worthy.

But i wouldn't limit your definition of alpha vs beta to speed. Wars arent always won by being a chest beating trump and making speed at which things done the main or only KPI. 

Sometimes its smarter to calculate exactly how to win the war and do it slowly. Assess where your targets are, put good planning into it, think of all worst possible cases, plan best scenarios, act out on multi level action, etc.

I've gotten girls who initially didnt like me in warm game by slowly over time getting more and more intimate with them, much like how you domesticate a wild cat. Im not a beta male for doing that, to the contrary all the guys who moved on when she said no are the actual beta males because their too insecure about them not getting any sex that they couldnt afford to put that effort in. 

If you're insecure about not getting enough sex, i feel for you and go set hard time limits for sex. Theres nothing wrong with acting that way, but you're missing a lot of growth and practice on how to develop intimacy and connection without having the patience to do this. You're arent any better by not being patient and deciding to not take your time.