Struggling with Blackpill

[Runtz]

I'll be honest, I'm struggling with blackpill ideology. It seems impossible to get a hot girlfriend if you are not hot. Quite fair ofc but that is just what I always dreamed of.

Leo saying a Pua's succes rate is always within 0.5-3%. Would this really work the same for rich and/or good looking guys.

I'm feeling like even if i get a hot girl, She will always either cheat on me or something but never really want me.

Girls never look at me on the street or anything. While I hear from other, taller better looking guys that they do.

I want to take responsibility but I just want to know the truth about how girls think about me and how they really rate guys.

I know blackpill people are fucked in the head. But it feels like it is true how they describe the unlovingness and judging of girls. In elementary I was literally called ugly by girls, specifically ugly. not "pussy" or some other shit.

What is the fucking truth.

 

Edited July 17, 2021 by Runtz

[Roy]

Look. You need to go live your life and gather your own raw experience. Drop all ideology and "pills", and worldviews from idiots on the internet. Most of them don't spend any time outside. They are stuck in echo chambers and thought loops in their minds. There is no actual "truth" of things. The world is everything, not one way or another. You can choose what you want to perceive, either you'll choose what is helpful or maybe it will hurt you. Either way take responsibility for it and don't be eager to delegate it to someone else's agenda.

What do you really want? Find out what that is and focus on that. Discard that which is not useful and garner a healthy perspective from your own learning experience.

You even said yourself you know blackpill people are fucked in the head. So why are you giving credence to it? If it is not making you feel good follow that instinct and drop it, and don't doubt yourself about it. Simply move onto something that feels closer to truth and better for you.

This is one of the struggles of relativity, and while it seems frustrating that you can never quite "pin" the truth down that's too fucking bad. That's not a bug, it's a feature!

Just keep going, and learn to trust yourself more than anything or anyone else.

[flowboy]

@Runtz  Too many pills, allow me to pump your stomach sir.

 

[Bando]

@Runtz Sigh... There should be a pined thread in this section of the forum telling all young men to stop reading incel/blackpill ideology. Im pretty sure your in your late teens or early 20's bro, stop consuming this shit seriously you think your getting a "non-mainstream, no bullshit" worldview on how relationships and dating works but its just not true, all your getting is the biggest strawman on how interpersonal relationships work.

The problem with ideologies like this is that they create more limiting beliefs on top of your insecurities and doesn't empower you to take action. The danger is that you become so deluded in this worldview when anybody else try's to point out the fallacies in your thinking you immediately label them an enemy or "normie" and quickly shut down their perspective. 

The problem is that you are too fixated on hot chicks, thats not what someone in your position needs or wants. What you need is social experience and to be around normal people that embrace your character and quirks, from that position you can start killing off these limiting beliefs and actually open your eyes to how this stuff works. 

Worry about improving the quality of girls you get after you've made a few friends and dated a few girls who genuinely care about you. In order to do that you will need to develop strong character which starts by not deluding yourself with low quality ideologies and avoiding them like the plague.

 

[Karmadhi]

@Bando A detailed video from Leo regarding Incels and the blackpill would be helpful. People here tend to ideolize him way too much so maybe his word would help them a lot.

FYI- I used to be blackpilled for a few months last year and the blackpill in itself has some truth to it. YES, IT WILL BE EASIER IF YOU ARE GOOD LOOKING. Just like it will be easier to become rich if you are very smart or become enlightned if you have good spiritual genetics and shit. However the way the blackpill deals with it is so toxic, retarted and downright crazy it becomes apparent when you being deconstructing it. With blackpill logic, we should not work if our IQ is not 150, we should not meditate or do any spiritual work if we do not have Sadhguru hardware etc etc.

Just dumb.

What the blackpill boils down to is a rationalization of lazyness. You compare yourself to people that have shit easier than you and use it as an excuse not to improve your situation. Adopt a mindset where you do not compare yourself with other men. Yes 0.35 percent is low, and maybe Chad does have a higher success rate just because he is handsome. NOBODY CARES. 0.35 percent is still bigger than 0 percent. 

Edited July 17, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Bando]

@Karmadhi The problem with Black pill isn't so much much the content but the structure of the ideology. Its common sense if your very attractive or have lots of money, attracting girls will be relatively easy but its baked into such an insecure and low quality world view that the message ends up turning into "theres no point of doing anything because the chads will just take your girl."  

Most normal people can smell the stench of blackpill ideology but people who are isolated, have been hurt in the past, or have no aspirations in life gravitate towards this perspective because it just reaffirms their biases which is much more easier to face than there own issues.

One profound insight that Leo shared in his video about conspiracy theory's was that any ideology that don't inspire you to take ownership of your life or give you inspiration should be dropped as there just worthless. You must quickly be able to recognize a low quality perspective and disregard it before you give it too much attention.

This takes many years to recognize as this requires a lot of trail and error, which also goes in hand why so many of these blackpillers/incels are between the ages of 17-25 one has simply not had enough life experiences to prove otherwise.

To get out of a position like this you must first create a plan to reach a level of consciousness that proves how ridiculous an ideology like this is and then from that position start checking off your limiting beliefs.

Also kudos to escaping that type of mentality, by the looks of other people experience on this side of the forum that seems pretty hard to do.

 

 

[Leo Gura]

@Runtz Go talk to girls. Girls are not looking for looks, they are looking for a man.

2% of 5000 is more girlfriends than you can stomach.

[Hello from Russia]

You can literally approach more than 50 girls in 1 going out session. If you do proper volume, these % numbers will actually seem high to you

Edited July 18, 2021 by Hello from Russia

[Cepzeu]

Healthy relationships come from self-respect. Girls will dump you if you don't stand up for what you want. It's not about being something that you're not... It's about being you, unapologetically. If they don't like it they can hit the road. That point of view will make you happier and keep girls around because a) you're not pretending to be a "cool" guy, and b) you have boundaries, which shows you respect yourself. 

[somegirl]

This may sound strange coming from a girl but I struggled with feeling "ugly" myself. The way I broke out of it is that I just *decided* I looked good and everything else, including looks, fell into place, literally. Including looks.

Thoughts create reality. 

All I know is that victim mentality gets you nowhere you want. It just deepens your sorrow and helplessness.

There's hope for everybody that wants to put in the work. 

[Karmadhi]

@somegirl Nice advice however it does not equate well. You get guys hitting on your regardless and judging from your picture you do not seem ugly at all (at least body wise). You look quite nice if i can say. An unattractive guy with an average personality is at the bottom of the sexual market. He needs good game and personality if he is unattractive.

@Leo Gura What i found with most incels i talked with is that they try to hit on maybe 100 girls then they take rejection so badly it destroys them. The way they frame failure is very toxic. “I am scarred after 100 rejections an incel told me. Their attitude is quite toxic even if they try.

Also there is one thing i just cannot understand. From one side you say girls want a strong MAN. Then on another side you say you should act more like a girl.

It confuses me

Edited July 18, 2021 by Karmadhi

[kras]

1 hour ago, somegirl said:

This may sound strange coming from a girl but I struggled with feeling "ugly" myself. The way I broke out of it is that I just *decided* I looked good and everything else, including looks, fell into place, literally. Including looks.

Thoughts create reality. 

All I know is that victim mentality gets you nowhere you want. It just deepens your sorrow and helplessness.

There's hope for everybody that wants to put in the work. 

Sorry but this is not relevant for guys, i have one very ugly girl friend of mine. She is aroggant and super ugly and she still have options with men and men are hitting on her. 

[Karmadhi]

@Bando I agree with your reply.

The way i escaped the blackpill was just to be honest with myself. I am a decent looking guy and had girls find me somewhat attractive. They are not majority but still exist. Maybe 1/5 find me somewhat attractive (very decent) and 1/12 or so find me legit attractive. So i cannot use blackpill mindset and feel like i am fucked. Also i tend not to flirt i make the convo man to woman much, i just make jokes tease and act friendly and cute. Why blackpill seemed interesting to me was that i used it as cope not to flirt with the logic that if i was Chad i would not need to flirt to get girls. Girls would just throw themselves at me as long as i made jokes and acted normal. It was a massive scapegoat. 
However i have a luxury that many do not have. If i was legit ugly and had tried many times with no success i do not know if i would be able to escape the blackpill that easily. I spoke with incels in such situations and did not know how to help them. What can i even teach someone that tried 1000 approaches without success?

[Leo Gura]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

 

@Leo Gura What i found with most incels i talked with is that they try to hit on maybe 100 girls then they take rejection so badly it destroys them. The way they frame failure is very toxic. “I am scarred after 100 rejections an incel told me. Their attitude is quite toxic even if they try.

Of course

That's what mind cancer does.

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

Also there is one thing i just cannot understand. From one side you say girls want a strong MAN. Then on another side you say you should act more like a girl.

Yup

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

It confuses me

Good! Learn to handle paradox.

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

I think he means you shouldn't stick with some man's stereotype and, instead, try to be more authentic. Me, for example, I consider myself a very masculine man, but at the same time, I don't try to look like a bodybuilder or a guy that loves sports and beer.

I like that definition. I was never attracted to the bodybuilder types. Or sports or beer. Just a natural man who can be comfortable being a man. Kinda refreshing

 

 

 

[Globalcollective]

@Runtz never look at black pill ideology again, it will just do massive harm to your life. I have done around 5000 appraoches I can say from expirence is a massive pile of bull crap. There is a slight bit of turth to it but taken out of proportion. Ive seen ugly guys do amazing and I have also seen male models fail miserably. 

Cut black pill out your life for good and start being mindful of the content you put in your mind. 

[Preety_India]

A pill is more or less an idealogy.

It doesn't give much room for thinking outside the box 

 

 

[Runtz]

Thanks everybody for the replies. @Bando very sharp commentary, really what I needed.

I know I have to leave blackpill behind. I think I already knew this but remnants of blackpill are in me that I wanted to vent in this post.

I think I am having BDD issues, since I'm considering jaw surgery. Maybe I will take the surgery once I have saved enough I'll be honest about that.

I hate my own face and blackpill confirms that and the victimhood of it. Projecting all this self hate into the world.

@Leo Gura How do you build the self confidence and self love to act like a man, when you hate yourself in the light of societies standards, or is it all built through social action in the field?

[Peter Miklis]

@Runtz You're just picking an easy route with that jaw surgery, dude. Don't you think a more difficult, but ultimately much more rewarding thing would be to learn to love yourself the way you look? I don't know, just a food for thought.

[Danioover9000]

@Runtz

On 17/07/2021 at 7:35 PM, Runtz said:

I'll be honest, I'm struggling with blackpill ideology. It seems impossible to get a hot girlfriend if you are not hot. Quite fair ofc but that is just what I always dreamed of.

Leo saying a Pua's succes rate is always within 0.5-3%. Would this really work the same for rich and/or good looking guys.

I'm feeling like even if i get a hot girl, She will always either cheat on me or something but never really want me.

Girls never look at me on the street or anything. While I hear from other, taller better looking guys that they do.

I want to take responsibility but I just want to know the truth about how girls think about me and how they really rate guys.

I know blackpill people are fucked in the head. But it feels like it is true how they describe the unlovingness and judging of girls. In elementary I was literally called ugly by girls, specifically ugly. not "pussy" or some other shit.

What is the fucking truth.

 

   Sounds like you might have to do some shadow work and intergrate that part of yourself that is the ugly part, and the part that was wounded by those girls, and forgive them to the best of your capacity. This is really important, because the mind can attribute thise qualities of those girls in the past to women you meet currently, and get you to feel and think defensively around those women.

   Also, subconscious training, which includes visualization, positive affirmations and good self talk, specifically on dating, and the abstinence of negative sources, including the black pill or whatever related ideology about your looks and dating and women in general. Keep reducing any limiting thoughts about dating, and increase the positive aspects. Ideally, this needs to be normalized.

   And have bigger things to do in life, not just make it all about the gf.