Me, being honest.

[roopepa]

I don't really need any guidance. There is really nothing to gain or to learn from anyone.

Each time I feel this need to read another book, watch another video or to ask another question from someone I just know that it's just my bullshit. The only thing I want from these sources is really just some easy feel-good relief and new ways to avoid the actual work. I feel the self-deception and unturth and it is making me sick.

Dear God. Months and years of avoiding responsibility and the actual work. My bullshit can't bear the pressure for very long anymore. I feel like I'm so close to taking the first true steps. My life and identity is on fire.

95% of all the 'spiritual' shit I've been thinking and talking about has just been mountains of bullshit. I don't know shit about anything. I have just barely been scratching the surface of the actual work. Oh my god. I feel like I just want to vomit.

[Nahm]

Then vomit! 

That’s ‘it’. 

[roopepa]

@Nahm I'll add it to the dreamboard.

 

[Breakingthewall]

I think the issue is when meditation becomes your main hobby, your passion, what you do before anything else. the other is as if you want to do rock climbing and you read a lot of books about climbing. Okay, you can talk about it over a few beers, but you're not even remotely a climber. you need years of sticking to the rock before that

[Nahm]

?

[roopepa]

32 minutes ago, nuwu said:

I had a dream.

I'm on a train, traveling with my sister and her friends. Warm and cozy, playing games and reading books. I am currently reading one, but this is where the dream gets weird. It's impossible to tell if the dream is about the book I'm reading, or about me reading a book. Like inception, you can zoom in and out, but you always find yourself in the same dream at the same moment in the story.
The train stops, this is our exit where we enter the next stage of the trip. We walk towards the doors to get out but the passenger unloading time is faster than expected. The doors close in front of us. We get off at the next station, and go backward from there.

What is the final destination? I don't know... The name of the book was "The Journey to Get There" 

Make the train a rollercoaster and I'm vomiting and losing my mind at the same time.