Talking is the most difficult thing I have ever done

[Strangeloop]

Especially about my problems. And Even in relationships, I never realized how hard it is to talk. I just want to stay quiet all my life. Because Then I talk. Stuff happens and consequences happen. And I don't want to take the responsibility of those consequences...

[Thought Art]

Hey, I can relate to this. I too say and do dumb things in my life which has consequences. It is through these lessons though that we get better. We need to get over this idea that to try is to be perfect or we are better off not doing anything at all.

I do think that speaking to a professional, for example over at Betterhelp.com to have someone guide you through this would be beneficial. 

Like Vernon Howard says... Do not rest in your current psychic location. Take action.

[sara373]

@Strangeloop me too. Even over phone my voice is almost a whisper. With others I don't really have a voice. Kinda sad to put it like this, might be due to upbringing. I'm an introvert.

If we don't talk then we won't exchange ideas, experiences and spontaneous mind-reading. Like "how did you know?? I was just about to say that!"

Edited July 15, 2021 by sara373

[snowyowl]

I'm pretty introverted too so I can sympathise. There's anxiety about making mistakes and getting judged.  But not talking has consequences too, you're still responsible. 

[Strangeloop]

@snowyowl

1 hour ago, snowyowl said:

 But not talking has consequences too, you're still responsible. 

This hit me hard dude

[Zigzag Idiot]

I think it’s possible to be quiet and still be responsible. 
 

This was a realization I had a few years ago.

- “It’s okay to have nothing to say”

[Blackhawk]

Not talking would probably ruin your entire life.

I basically never talk with anyone, because there's something wrong with my brain which makes me unable to communicate with people. And because of that I'm condemned to a 100% lonely life.

You don't want to live when you are 100% alone.

But of course, this only applies if you are a male. If you are a female then you can never be involuntarily alone, even if you don't talk there will always be a endless amount of males who want you as partner.

Edited July 17, 2021 by Blackhawk

[snowyowl]

15 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

@snowyowl

This hit me hard dude

Sorry man, not my intention to hit. Have you thought about counselling, it gives you a safe space to express yourself without judgement? If you can't afford it then  co-counselling is a cheaper alternative. You do a training course and after that you pair up and counsel each other for free. I did it when I was unemployed and it really helped me out of my shell. 

[Strangeloop]

I don't believe in theraputic process. I believe it's all bulsshit and there is no way of getting better. Atleast logically I believe that. Talking in general has been mostly unconscious. As soon as I open my mouth some nonsense comes out. I just keep the conversation going with little frazes and stuff like that. I don't really consider myself a speaker even if I started a facebook page and group and youtube based on speaking. I either find excuses not to talk or I am such a lazy person that doesn't even want to talk. Or third option is I just dont bother.

[Thought Art]

3 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

I don't believe in theraputic process. I believe it's all bulsshit and there is no way of getting better. Atleast logically I believe that. Talking in general has been mostly unconscious. As soon as I open my mouth some nonsense comes out. I just keep the conversation going with little frazes and stuff like that. I don't really consider myself a speaker even if I started a facebook page and group and youtube based on speaking. I either find excuses not to talk or I am such a lazy person that doesn't even want to talk. Or third option is I just dont bother.

Well, then your fucked. (kidding)

You can learn to do anything you put your mind too. Just, take the time and do the work. You got this.

So, you better install some beliefs that actually serve you instead of creating walls and bricks where there are none. Of course you can heal yourself. Just go do it and stop being so addicted to pain and victimhood.

It's your birthright to be happy, loving and loved and successful. Just, work at it everyday. 

You got this!

Edited July 18, 2021 by Thought Art

[Roy]

On 7/15/2021 at 8:36 AM, Strangeloop said:

Especially about my problems. And Even in relationships

How does it feel when you get it out though, freeing I bet?

[Waken]

Maybe talking a lot just isn't in your nature. I would just give up the struggle of trying to fix yourself and trying to conform to the idea of how you think you should be, and start dropping in what actually feels right for you to do and be instead. Of course, if you feel that sharing something is something you like to do, but feel some fear for it, it's good to try to share a little more. That gets easier over time rather fast even if you just do it a little more. How you are right now, is good enough. Just relax a little more and go with what feels good, you'll expand naturally

Edited July 19, 2021 by Waken

[Strangeloop]

@Roy Well at first sure feels good, but then I face judgement of other people which can be viewed as an effect of my honesty. Or one thing I noticed is that I tend to judge myself on what I've said or how I've said it.

 

Thanks for encouraging words @Waken @Thought Art . 

[Nahm]

@Strangeloop

Those are one in the same. One never faces the mental activity of another’s judgement, only ‘one’s own’ thought activity, about judgment, and the projection onto, others. 

When attention is gently removed from the abstractions of thought, and returned to feeling breathing from the stomach, the focus shifts from my problems, relationships, one for which it is hard, one who would stay quiet, one who could or couldn’t, should or should, take responsibility... to actuality. 

Responsibility is response-ability, and in the non-reactionary conscious response of feeling breathing, that “one” is more clearly a thought. There is not a ‘you’ moving through time. Conscious response is always only ever now, or not now. Presence (you) is never not presence. 

The true One has no ‘other’, such as responsibilities for example. 

Happening is happening, the overlay of duality, separation, is only the thoughts, or, thought attachment. 

The relevance of the practice of meditation on the Path. 

 

[Loving Radiance]

On 15.7.2021 at 5:36 PM, Strangeloop said:

Especially about my problems. And Even in relationships, I never realized how hard it is to talk. I just want to stay quiet all my life. Because Then I talk. Stuff happens and consequences happen. And I don't want to take the responsibility of those consequences...

On 18.7.2021 at 3:59 PM, Strangeloop said:

I don't believe in theraputic process. I believe it's all bulsshit and there is no way of getting better. Atleast logically I believe that. Talking in general has been mostly unconscious. As soon as I open my mouth some nonsense comes out. I just keep the conversation going with little frazes and stuff like that. I don't really consider myself a speaker even if I started a facebook page and group and youtube based on speaking. I either find excuses not to talk or I am such a lazy person that doesn't even want to talk. Or third option is I just dont bother.

21 hours ago, Strangeloop said:

Quote

Quote

Especially about my problems. And Even in relationships

How does it feel when you get it out though, freeing I bet?

Well at first sure feels good, but then I face judgement of other people which can be viewed as an effect of my honesty. Or one thing I noticed is that I tend to judge myself on what I've said or how I've said it.

So, how is difficulty in talking impacting you? I mean, what does it spark in you that you post this thread in this subforum? Does it come from an emotion or thought process?

[PepperBlossoms]

some subjects that are easy to talk about and others hard

 some people easy to talk with and some hard

some tasks easy and some hard

we see what we struggle with and then wonder what to do about it - me included

[Logan]

Make an appointment with a speech pathologist. 

Expressable is a company that does appointments via Zoom. $59 per session.

[Strangeloop]

@Logan Can't invest that at the moment

[Strangeloop]

@Loving Radiance I feel incampable, inadequate. Like I'm somehow less of a person if I don't talk.

[Loving Radiance]

@Strangeloop  And you want to change that? Do you feel the desire to talk freely with people about anything because you are just feeling like it and because the words just flow out of you?

If so, do you know some free apps, sites or resources that allow you to talk to people?