Thoughts on dating a single parent

[Terell Kirby]

I believe it's different for everyone. For me (heterosexual male), have always been hesitant when getting super involved with single mothers. Not sure what it could be (maybe the thought of taking care of another persons child, assuming more responsibility or potential baby dady drama).

But that's just me. Any experiences or thoughts you'd like to share?

[Chrissy From Philly]

Hi, single mom here

Depending on the person, I think it’s fair to test it out. I have 0 “baby daddy” drama. I would prefer a man not “father” my child but more so be a friend. If you end up falling in love with a woman, loving her children usually comes easy.

Good Luck! 

[Roy]

This topic has been something of inflammatory nature for this forum. For the people posting below this line, please be respectful and mature in your responses and discussion, if you get out of line you will receive points for being as ass. And the thread might get locked.

__________

[Terell Kirby]

20 minutes ago, Chrissy From Philly said:

Hi, single mom here

Depending on the person, I think it’s fair to test it out. I have 0 “baby daddy” drama. I would prefer a man not “father” my child but more so be a friend. If you end up falling in love with a woman, loving her children usually comes easy.

Good Luck! 

Hi there! Good hearing this perspective. Most of my skepticism comes from general stereotypes. Best way to find out is through direct experience of course 

[Terell Kirby]

@Roy thank you, this topic requires a level of maturity that does signal some kind of warning lol.

[Kamo]

I've dated multiple woman with children, Don't think of it so much as an issue with the fact that the children are another mans kids.( you said person but I interpreted it as the fathers kid) correct me if im wrong, but Look at it as the child is literally part of the woman. (be it 50%) but seeing the child as a version of the woman makes it much easier to see them the way they are and not as another mans child. I had this issue at first till I started becoming more conscious.  There is still hesitation to committing  because there are so many options of single woman with no children that it becomes the easier but more selfish path to take but has the benefits of satisfying your own personal agenda and reducing the amount of responsibilities. How uniquely the woman touches your heart will tell you how much you will want the be of service to her, loving her and her kids as a whole. If you already want to be a father without your own selfish desire to pass your own genes then the idea may be good for you, and you can always have your own child with her( given you are both able). The idea of you being a father must already be a potential goal of yours or else dont involve yourself with single mothers. They have their own survival needs they are trying to meet and finding a quality man to support her off spring is their top priority if they are dating. This question really comes down to your own personal level of selfishness, and if the family life is the life for you. I also am not saying selfishness in a negative sense but in an intelligent manner and meaning of the word to explain. The more self-less you are the more you love her, the more it wont matter if she has kids or not. It takes a special kind of man to be a stepfather.

[ndm678]

If you find yourself single later in life, this is pretty much a given. You won't have any interaction with their children until much later in the dating/relationship process, if she's a healthy woman.

Her children are her own social experiment playing out, I try not to manipulate that experiment. 

As for baby daddy drama, I don't have much experience with that. Dad tends to be involved in a healthy manner. 

If you have your own child(ren), which I do, you can relate much healthier with the parenting flow.

You won't be a top priority, maybe in the top 5. And that's okay, because that's the way it should be. Scheduling nights out are less sporadic and more planned. 

If you stick around long enough to develop rapore with the children, you'll find yourself doing more family based activities. Day trips, board games, ect. 

Disclaimer: I'm in my 40's and have a child of my own. I'm already in a parent life flow.