Why do I get triggered by people with a victim mentality?

[SamC]

Would love your perspectives and explanations.

[Preety_India]

@SamC what exactly triggers you ?

Elaborate on the type of victim stuff that's triggering you.

 

[flowboy]

@SamC  There's four stages to overcoming an unhealthy pattern.

1. Living it, unconsciously
2. Living it, aware of it
3. Rejection, fighting against it and being vigilant not to fall back into it
4. Transcendence: your paradigm has changed so much that you can't even conceive of falling back anymore

I'm somewhat in stage 3 still, I'm still being vigilant that I don't play the victim. Although this is diminishing lately.

That vigilance doesn't stop with me, it also gets (mis)directed at other people.

Whatever I'm currently working on, will trigger me in others.

[Gesundheit2]

My guess is that it's because you've adopted/identified with the famous self-help concept of 100% responsibility. So now, anything less than that feels like an insult to your identity.

Solutions:

• Understand that it's unrealistic to expect 100% responsibility all the time, even from oneself. You'd have to be extremely neurotic and paranoid in order to execute that mission perfectly, and even then, you'd likely burn out soon.
• Understand that, sometimes, victim mentality doesn't come out of thin air. Consider that those who seem to have a victim's mentality might possibly be actual victims, which gets reflected onto their mindset. So, being and acting like victims is not completely their fault. And in this case, they might actually need actual help instead of victim-blaming.

Edited July 13, 2021 by Gesundheit2

[Tangerinedream]

Sometimes Victim mentality is a coping mechanism for the person. So if you find yourself feeling triggered, try to see that they are doing it as a way to cope, and that it is how they see the world from their eyes.  To them that is how life seems and it’s not easy to change it. 

[SamC]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

@SamC what exactly triggers you ?

Elaborate on the type of victim stuff that's triggering you.

 

Everything XDXD except for when I myself become a victim of the people victimizing themselves and blaming it on me.

I get angry at the reaction for some reason. ( I've got a looot better at this but I still have a lot i haven't integrated there)

 

 

 

[SamC]

14 minutes ago, Tangerinedream said:

Sometimes Victim mentality is a coping mechanism for the person. So if you find yourself feeling triggered, try to see that they are doing it as a way to cope, and that it is how they see the world from their eyes.  To them that is how life seems and it’s not easy to change it. 

Yeah.. like I get that XDXD but it's so fucking annoying when people look for everything that is wrong and make conclusions based on what they belive.

EDIT: I know know... it's because I do the exact same thing. I interpret stuff, danger and missunderstandment that doesn't exist ^^^^