Journal for self actualization and fulfillment.

[Dayo]

This is my first journal. I am starting now. I am currently feeling down after failing an oral exam to become a authorized dealing clerk in the major stock exchange in my home country. I currently work in a stockbroking firm. . I am struggling to go through all my course notes, develop my writing and speaking skills and studying finance in general. I studied engineering in the university and I had a pass, so I have been jumping from job to job trying to carve a path and I believe finance is the path for me. On the self development tip and I am working on the interpretation video that Leo released a few weeks ago. My first journal post. I will get better with practice.

[Dayo]

I am working through a book called - Ideas on demand A crash course on creativity. It started with 5 creativity blocks which are as follows

1. Lack of self-belief

2. Fear of sounding stupid

3. Discomfort with ambiguity and uncertainty

4. The right answer syndrome

5. Being judgemental.

At the end of the description of each creativity block and there is an exercise. I tackled each exercise. I felt more creative and more willing to tackle creative tasks.

The next section of the book is that creativity is about connecting the dots and creating "wow" by connecting them in a way no one ever did.

To be really good at connecting dots you need to be collecting dots. Dots are ideas you get from books, past experience, experimentation etc.

The ideas of frames was also introduced. There was also a technique called the reversal technique. I applied the technique to my professional situation and I got some ideas. These will be further improved as I continue to read the book. I have been falling behind on this journal. I would need to have a paper journal that I write on first before transferring it to the forum.

[Dayo]

I have been slacking on this journal. I will set up a schedule to check in on the forum once every day so that I can put in my journal entries. For this entry I would be journaling about two quotes. One on the mind and one on self compassion

"All problems are illusions o the mind" - Eckhart Tolle

From what I can understand at first all problems are created in the mind. They aren't out there in the physical. Your mind creates problems and projects it into the external. If you change how you see the situation. It changes. By taking responsibility you put yourself in position to see the illusions that the illusions that the mind is creating. But aren't there events that are problems that we see out there in the physical like natural disasters, violence, incompetent political leaders. I'm stuck on this point. Will need to contemplate more on this.

 

"Self-acceptance is my refusal to be in an adversarial relationship with myself." - Nathaniel Brand

I first read this quote and what struck first in my mind is seeing how form most of my life I have been in an adversarial relationship with myself. The idea of self compassion was seen as a way of developing myself. I saw it as being self indulgent in loving myself as I am. That it would lead to arrogance. I would speak to myself in a harsh tone and beat myself up everyday. I became socially anxious, depressed and suicidal. I have been practicing mindfulness meditation, loving kindness, reading psychology books about self acceptance and there has been significant improvement in my mental health. Self acceptance is a practice. An adversarial relationship with self is internal conflict.  a neurosis. By practicing self acceptance, you bring the parts of yourself you like and the parts you don't into one whole. You have authentic motivation to grow and improve and to love yourself and give that love to others. You become a more whole integrated human being.