how bad are TV shows?

[SelfLove]

I very much enjoy listening to and learning about spirituality and self-actualisation. However, I have had trouble coming to terms with when a break is needed or whether I’m giving into laziness.

For e.g I enjoy watching TV shows occasionally (only the good ones) and typically watch them after I feel like my brain is pretty tired from the accumulation of knowledge that I gained from reading or listening to podcasts ect. However, when I start watching them I feel this immense guilt that I should be doing more. 
 

What is the correct balance? And are TV shows bad. I don’t want to deny myself them if I genuinely enjoy them

[ted73104]

There is no good or bad, only the mind makes it so. TV shows are not bad, there isn't a should statement where you need to do more. And so you can enjoy the shows as much as you want.

What is interesting to know is why you have guilt when you start watching TV shows. To what image or lifestyle are you comparing yours to? Although there doesn't exist a perfect standard or the correct way/attitude to pursue life, you yourself have internally created a standard or a set of core values. These core values should be fun to identify, and you only need to find effective ways to actualize them one by one. However, I think these core values shouldn't be pursued using negative motivation, because that kind of motivation doesn't last very long. So you should try to accept your current habits/lifestyle and then try out some changes that will bring you closer to what you really want internally.

[Extreme Z7]

TV shows aren't bad.

You just outgrow most of them.

[Snader]

It's very personal. You need to contemplate your relationship to that habit and also to be aware of the psychological affect TV-shows tend to have on human psyche. Then you can make the conscious choice whether or not, or to what extent, you are OK consuming TV.

What makes all the difference to that process, is having clear sense of your values and what you want out of life. Then you'll have reference base to make your choice. You said you enjoy spirituality and self-actualization, but to what extent? Are they just a hobbies or do they play role in a bigger vision? Those things tend to affect every aspect of your life, when done seriously.

I also want to promote life purpose here. If you had a life purpose, you would a) probably be too busy to watch TV-shows, or b) you would know what's important to you and how much TV is okay for you to still be able to do your thing effectively. So what I'm basically saying is that having a life purpose solves many common life problems, from which this is one. 

In summary, TV-shows are not bad per se. They could be harming to you considering your psychology and agendas in life or they could be just perfect balance for all the development work you do. The key is to examine your relationship to it, to be honest and wise about it. If you don't consume them like many hours per day, you are probably doing just fine.

[Bodhitree]

I think mindful consumption is the thing to point at. If you vegetate for hours and hours, then it could be harmful. If you know what program you are going to watch and just watch that, then switch the set off, then you are in much better shape.

[SelfLove]

@Snader Thankyou very much!

I use to binge watch them all day and that made me depressed and I knew that it wasn’t what I should be doing it was just a way to switch off. 
 

But after realising that, I’ve slowly reduced it to a minimum and only watching an episode here or there. Or if I feel like it a couple episodes. I do get scared though that I’m not doing enough and I should be too busy with doing other more productive things. But I struggle with understanding when to to not be so hard on myself and what is just laziness

[Nahm]

12 hours ago, SelfLove said:

I very much enjoy listening to and learning about spirituality and self-actualisation. However, I have had trouble coming to terms with when a break is needed or whether I’m giving into laziness.

For e.g I enjoy watching TV shows occasionally (only the good ones) and typically watch them after I feel like my brain is pretty tired from the accumulation of knowledge that I gained from reading or listening to podcasts ect. However, when I start watching them I feel this immense guilt that I should be doing more. 

There’s no “accumulation of knowledge that I gained”.

Don’t create another belief out of what’s said, check direct experience. Find where you is separate from knowledge. Literally point to the accumulation, which you believe a you has.  

“My brain is pretty tired from accumulation” is a veiling justification. A secondary belief, a doubling down on suffering, to make the first belief seem true. The plight of “the doer”, “the knower of knowledge”. Imagine your phone claiming it is tired from accumulating all the wifi. How silly this would seem to you! If the cosmic joke is not funny, then the joke is on ‘you’. Learn to laugh! 

What’s tiring is carrying the beliefs. It’s so much unnecessary resistance to bear. It’s very self limiting. It has no effect on learning at all, because learning is an appearance. Enjoy ‘it’. 

Quote

What is the correct balance? And are TV shows bad. I don’t want to deny myself them if I genuinely enjoy them

You can’t deny a myself because there are not two of you. 

There is no actuality of the I which should be doing more. That I is an idea of yourself. Yourself is the awareness of the idea. 

There are not good & bad tv shows, there is preference. 

There is the experience of thoughts of which the content is self referential judgement, but there is no ‘you the judge’ & ‘you the judged’.

Beliefs can effect health & well being.  

What you are doing is actual. An ineffable miracle. What you should be doing is a thought - to which there is no actuality. It’s an abstraction. To compare what you are doing (real) to what you should be doing (nonexistent) is a false comparison. It feels false, because it is false. 

[Snader]

5 hours ago, SelfLove said:

@Snader Thankyou very much!

I use to binge watch them all day and that made me depressed and I knew that it wasn’t what I should be doing it was just a way to switch off. 
 

But after realising that, I’ve slowly reduced it to a minimum and only watching an episode here or there. Or if I feel like it a couple episodes. I do get scared though that I’m not doing enough and I should be too busy with doing other more productive things. But I struggle with understanding when to to not be so hard on myself and what is just laziness

I totally feel you.

You should rather be worried about what you're investing your time into, instead of being worried about being lazy. There's nothing wrong with laziness per se, it's natural. Maybe try thinking it in the way of ''how is watching TV helping me to get closer to objective X? Does it have a function there?''. With that it helps to have some sort of sense of where you're heading to.

You said you get the feeling that you should put your time into more productive things, but do you know what things really are productive to you? Sometimes it's exactly not being clear enough and so not trusting the process enough, that gets one to slack off and give up to resistance. Maybe you're at the moment in a process of trying to find out what's productive to you, in which case it's okay to feel a little guilt. It's there to move you to the right direction, and it will pass and move to something better, if you are seriously working on yourself.

After all, listen to your higher self.

[Stephen]

Work hard , THEN , Relax and enjoy your shows, 

You deserve it and it will recharge your brain,

Just earn it first and there should be no guilt

We came here to have fun aswell , ENJOY IT 

[Rajneeshpuram]

11 hours ago, Snader said:

It's very personal. You need to contemplate your relationship to that habit and also to be aware of the psychological affect TV-shows tend to have on human psyche. Then you can make the conscious choice whether or not, or to what extent, you are OK consuming TV.

What makes all the difference to that process, is having clear sense of your values and what you want out of life. Then you'll have reference base to make your choice. You said you enjoy spirituality and self-actualization, but to what extent? Are they just a hobbies or do they play role in a bigger vision? Those things tend to affect every aspect of your life, when done seriously.

I also want to promote life purpose here. If you had a life purpose, you would a) probably be too busy to watch TV-shows, or b) you would know what's important to you and how much TV is okay for you to still be able to do your thing effectively. So what I'm basically saying is that having a life purpose solves many common life problems, from which this is one. 

In summary, TV-shows are not bad per se. They could be harming to you considering your psychology and agendas in life or they could be just perfect balance for all the development work you do. The key is to examine your relationship to it, to be honest and wise about it. If you don't consume them like many hours per day, you are probably doing just fine.

Do you know what negative priming is?

[SelfLove]

@Rajneeshpuram I do but may you elaborate?

[SelfLove]

,@Snader Thank you for your comment. Mmm yes, correct. I have set up goals that I want to achieve by the end of the year hoping to make myself more productive and confident. I think the problem comes with the obsessive worry, for e.g. I have completed all necessary tasks to achieve part of my goal for the day and after then I would like to relax perhaps by watching a TV show, my mind, however, keeps saying "read a book instead, learn some more information, go for another run, don't be lazy". Others say that I am too hard on myself - but I feel like I can't trust others just because they are doing less than I am and are 'happy' doing less and that's where the balance is hard to find.

 

[SelfLove]

@Nahm Wow, you're very right. I guess I get confused because I want to be able to self-actualize and take care of myself as Leo stresses. I guess I should stop worrying so much about what I 'think' I have gained and just enjoy the experience of learning and see for myself how I am actually applying the teachings. I struggle to do a thing from a place of love and am overridden by fear of not doing enough all the time

[Snader]

1 hour ago, SelfLove said:

,@Snader Thank you for your comment. Mmm yes, correct. I have set up goals that I want to achieve by the end of the year hoping to make myself more productive and confident. I think the problem comes with the obsessive worry, for e.g. I have completed all necessary tasks to achieve part of my goal for the day and after then I would like to relax perhaps by watching a TV show, my mind, however, keeps saying "read a book instead, learn some more information, go for another run, don't be lazy". Others say that I am too hard on myself - but I feel like I can't trust others just because they are doing less than I am and are 'happy' doing less and that's where the balance is hard to find.

 

Oh, okay. I've had something like that myself too, especially when I used to play video games and was addicted to scrolling social media. I fixed the problem of feeling guilt/not getting progress through the process of hitting my head against the wall again and again. I kept avoiding that guilt and pushed myself to do progressive work, until I experienced big ego backlashes which got me deeper into my toxic habits. Supporting those experiences with understanding of some important and relevant concepts, I learned to see the balance that is necessary for me to do productive work effectively.

After all, it's laboring to do personal development and the ego will resist the change as you've probably noticed. The excitement to improve can sometimes be so big that it drives us to burnout.

[SelfLove]

@Snader ahh wow yes this is how I feel! Thank you so much for your insight, I feel a sense of relief! I also have realized that I have low self-esteem and in a way, the relapses made it a self-fulfilling prophecy that deeply ingrained into my psyche that I 'cant' or I'm not that type of person no matter how hard I try not to be. - I guess the mix of ego backlash and low self-esteem come into account here. 

Anyway, glad to be able to see it for what it truly is now. Very Very grateful

 

[RickyFitts]

5 hours ago, SelfLove said:

,@Snader Thank you for your comment. Mmm yes, correct. I have set up goals that I want to achieve by the end of the year hoping to make myself more productive and confident. I think the problem comes with the obsessive worry, for e.g. I have completed all necessary tasks to achieve part of my goal for the day and after then I would like to relax perhaps by watching a TV show, my mind, however, keeps saying "read a book instead, learn some more information, go for another run, don't be lazy". Others say that I am too hard on myself - but I feel like I can't trust others just because they are doing less than I am and are 'happy' doing less and that's where the balance is hard to find.

 

Just keep in mind that self-care is important, and that your needs do matter - this is something I had to learn the hard way when I was having a really hard time with anxiety and depression (chronic low self-esteem had always been a big issue for me, too), and learning to be kind to myself and to become conscious of and take care of my needs in the moment was a big part of coming through that very difficult phase of my life. Pushing yourself too hard can become counter-productive, because it can leave you feeling burnt-out and frustrated.

[Snader]

7 hours ago, SelfLove said:

@Snader ahh wow yes this is how I feel! Thank you so much for your insight, I feel a sense of relief! I also have realized that I have low self-esteem and in a way, the relapses made it a self-fulfilling prophecy that deeply ingrained into my psyche that I 'cant' or I'm not that type of person no matter how hard I try not to be. - I guess the mix of ego backlash and low self-esteem come into account here. 

Anyway, glad to be able to see it for what it truly is now. Very Very grateful

 

Great to hear that and I wish you luck with your self exploration process!

[Roy]

@SelfLove Most of them are designed to be extremely time consuming so you've gotta watch out for that, and not get invested in too many. Just compare TV as a medium of art to film - It takes 8-12 episodes of 30-50 minutes each and multiple seasons to tell a story in mostly unnecessary detail, that a movie can compact into a 1.5-2 hour experience. Which is a better investment?

It's okay to have something to relax and completely shut off to once in a while, just be mindful of it's quality (are you learning from it?) and how much time you are spending doing it.

Personally I only follow a single show (The Expanse), as I've realized the rest is mostly garbage and doesn't meet my standards lol.

[SelfLove]

@RickyFitts  I really do appreciate your comments, sometimes it can feel like murky waters to navigate especially when you also are learning to love yourself. It is really helpful and healing in a way to know that I'm not alone in feeling like this. Thank you, Thank you.

 

[RickyFitts]

@SelfLove You're very welcome