How To Deny Someone Without Hurting Their Self-Esteem

[Arcangelo]

7 minutes ago, Gianna said:

so how would YOU do this

You are woman, do what women do: ghost him or flake on him. Or flake on him and afterwards ghost him.

[Iksander]

@Gianna "Stop trying to fuck me" 

" I'm not attracted to you, stop touching me"

"I'll call the police" 

"Sorry I only like you as a friend"

"You're not my type nothing will happen between us"

"I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last man on earth"

"Your face makes me feel sick"

"Let's just be friends"

"You make my pussy dry"

"Leave me alone"

 

[Gianna]

2 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

@Gianna Is he your co-worker or colleague in college or something that makes you see him everyday ?

I'm not talking about one specific person really this is a continuous problem in my life. Someone commented and asked for context so I gave them one. There is one guy specifically that I do love to hang out with we have awesome conversations and similar interests but clearly, I am not going to be able to hang out with him anymore– this is very very unfortunate. I'm sick of having to deny him. Obviously, I am not clear enough but how much of a bitch am I suppose to be? That's not my nature I don't enjoy having to do that. 

[Gianna]

2 minutes ago, Iksander said:

@Gianna "Stop trying to fuck me" 

" I'm not attracted to you, stop touching me"

"I'll call the police" 

"Sorry I only like you as a friend"

"You're not my type nothing will happen between us"

"I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last man on earth"

"Your face makes me feel sick"

"Let's just be friends"

"You make my pussy dry"

"Leave me alone"

 

HAHAHA. Omg I love you. 
 

 

5 minutes ago, Iksander said:

@Gianna So you want a platonic male friend. Why specifically this and not a boyfriend? Now I am curious

 

Um because I want to be single. I am 24 and have a whole life in front of me. I want to have freedom and be able to live however I choose. 

[Gianna]

6 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

You are woman, do what women do: ghost him or flake on him. Or flake on him and afterwards ghost him.

I do not ghost people and I am sick of flaking. I just need to learn how to be brutally honest.

But honestly, I feel bad for the role guys have to play: always having to make it happen, being rejected. I know it's probably not easy! I appreciate when guys put themselves out there. So do I want to slam them down on the ground when they are putting themselves out there? No, I do not want to do that. I would rather be covert. But this is clearly not the way to go haha. 

[Preety_India]

@Gianna A  guy(generally flirty guy ) will never be your friend because since you look good, he will always want to fuck you 

But sometimes some girly Kind of men who are a bit feminine and usually hang out with girls in groups, those type of guys can easily become your friend. Because they are sexually safe, you know what I mean, they will not harass you for sex.

You have to focus on the type of guy you are talking to.

Most guys who approach with a flirty liner like "you look amazing" or " I like so and so about you." That's already an indication that the guy is trying to get near you sexually/romantically.

So you'll need to kinda straight up reject by not being afraid to be rude. He will get it and he will walk away.

Now the guys who are friend material, they will not walk away and if you show them that you want to be friends then they will keep that friendship and not pressure you anymore.

Now coming to the question of masculine energy 

I also wanted tons and tons of masculine energy. But I got it from ex boyfriends and current dates aka romantic guys 

Because you won't find masculine energy in a guy who is your friend because he will give you feminine energy.. .since only feminine guys want to be truly friends with a girl. A masculine guy who is being a nice friend to you either already has a girlfriend/married or is hiding the fact that he got feelings for you and kinda fooling you. 

Most guys who hang out with girls are feminine guys and they will not give masculine energy.

It's extremely rare to get a guy who doesn't feel sexual but is also loading you with masculine energy.

A man's masculine energy is ignited when he develops passion for a woman, that's when he is ready to give it to her, otherwise his energy remains stagnant and passive.

For masculine energy you'll need a boyfriend or a date or a casual guy that you hang out with and sometimes have sex/intimacy with.

It's hard for men to sit with a pretty girl, be a nice friend to her and also keep controlling themselves all the time, it's like a punishment for them to keep holding their feelings and instincts inside and keep acting like they aren't sexual, that would be unnecessary pretense and that's why guys don't invest their time in that kind of a thing 

For most men a woman is either a stranger or a "interest girl."

 

Edited July 12, 2021 by Preety_India

[Gianna]

This is the thing guys, I totally appreciate when guys put themselves out there. I think it takes courage, effort, vulnerability, risk of their esteem. I look at these things as good ways to be in the world. So do I want to punish them for it by denying them? No! I want to encourage them and say yes that's awesome! But nooo not with me, find someone else. Haha. 

[Iksander]

@Gianna

What you see

"hehe I'm being nice and covert this should work he understands hehe"

 

What he sees

"SHE WANTS ME TO PUSH A LITTLE HARDER THEN WE CAN FUCK ONCE SHE REALISES HOW GREAT I AM"

 

[Gianna]

2 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Being rejected is just part of a men's life

Okay. I think that it's because it would be sooo hard for me to put myself out there because I'm so used to guys coming to me that I feel bad denying them. So I guess because it would hurt me I am projecting that onto them as if my rejection would hurt them. But you are saying they are used to it? 

[Gianna]

2 minutes ago, Iksander said:

@Gianna

What you see

"hehe I'm being nice and covert this should work he understands hehe"

 

What he sees

"SHE WANTS ME TO PUSH A LITTLE HARDER THEN WE CAN FUCK ONCE SHE REALISES HOW GREAT I AM"

 

HAHAHA omg this is toooo true. 

 

9 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

But sometimes some girly Kind of men who are a bit feminine and usually hang out with girls in groups, those type of guys can easily become your friend. Because they are sexually safe, you know what I mean, they will not harass you for sex.

You have to focus on the type of guy you are talking to.

Okay this is soo true. I know a guy exactly like this so you are so right. But actually, he's the only guy that I'm interested in right now. Haha. Go figure. 

[Gianna]

11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

Because you find masculine energy in a guy who is your friend because he will give you feminine energy.

I knowww huh. Ugh! 
 

11 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

It's extremely rare to get a guy who doesn't feel sexual but is also loading you with masculine energy.

 

12 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

A man's masculine energy is ignited when he develops passion for a woman, that's when he is ready to give it to her, otherwise his energy remains stagnant and passive.

 

Hmmmm. This is interesting! This is probably why it'll never happen. Because you can't have one without the other. Looks like we're fucked then (not literally). 

 

[Flowerfaeiry]

@Gianna It's not going to be easy, but make a clean break.

[Gianna]

@Flowerfaeiry I am going to soon. I have to. Do you think reasoning is necessary? Or just the clean break?

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gianna]

Because the reasoning is where I think I get myself in trouble because I'm too fucking passive and pleasing. Maybe my new trick of the trade is to never add any reasoning to anything. 

[Iksander]

@Gianna Well done, you figured it out.

 

Add a ruthless streak to your personality to reject men you aren't interested in (sexually) 

No reasoning, justifying or overthinking, just NO.

[Preety_India]

 Men are not very transactional with other men.

For some unknown ungodly reason, men are very transactional with women.

So they have a deal going in their mind when they see a woman 

So a man who is kinda flirty and friends with you will ask himself ,"wait a minute, she is my friend, I'm also giving her my masculine energy, but what am I getting in return, NO SEX ?? Hmm, this doesn't look like a good deal.  I'm not going to be a donkey. What am I gaining here by giving this woman what she wants. "  They kinda feel they are being stupid and "fooled" if they are not getting sex in this transaction. It's a loss and a waste of time for them and also they feel they are being fooled.. they might even think that the woman is being selfish by asking masculine energy but not giving sex in return. They can't say yes to this deal.

Also men feel a bit cucked if they are being a nice friend to a good looking woman. Because it means facing the prospect that she will date another guy in the future. This hurts their pride and self esteem. Because they have to watch you describe your boyfriend to them and you'll be praising your boyfriend, it will make them jealous, they are being friends with a girl who they will not have yet they will know she is sleeping with her boyfriend so they feel a bit defeated or cucked, because it means the boyfriend is a better man.

A woman will also act in similar fashion. She will not be friends with a very hot man because she wants him as a boyfriend. Now if he is asking her to be a friend, it's like an insult, and on top of that she will see him hugging his girlfriend and she might feel insecure, jealous or feel like she has been out competed by the man's girlfriend..this can hurt her ego as she had set her eyes on this guy. So she won't want to be friends with him.

With the opposite sex there is a problem of rivalry or competition.

They don't want to feel like someone got the pie out of their hands.

They don't want to see their friend with the friend's lover because it gives a feeling of "cucked.".

 

 

[Gianna]

1 minute ago, Iksander said:

@Gianna Well done, you figured it out.

 

Add a ruthless streak to your personality to reject men you aren't interested in (sexually) 

No reasoning, justifying or overthinking, just NO.

Oh my gosh I feel so empowered.

[Gianna]

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

Men are not very transactional with other men... men are very transactional with women.

 

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

NO SEX ?? Hmm, this doesn't look like a good deal.

LOL!!! Yeah huh, what the hell!?! 

 

2 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

They kinda feel they are being stupid and "fooled" if they are not getting sex in. It's a loss and a waste of time for them . 

This is such a good read on men.  

 

3 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

asking to be friends is like an insult

hmm. yeah I guess so. I can see that. 

[Iksander]

7 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

 Men are not very transactional with other men.

 

 

No, we are.

We size each other up all the time, and to a greater degree than we do with women.

How fun is he to be around

Can he physically defend himself

Is he cool around women

Does he have good social skill

Does he present himself well

Is he smart 

ect. I could go on all day.