Why do Girls get angry when Guy try to have standards???

[Arcangelo]

1 hour ago, Jacob Morres said:

it is social conditioning

Yes but it goes way back, like tenths of thousands of years back. So it's gonna take a while to break free.

[AtheisticNonduality]

This is probably the unacceptable to deal with this situation:

This is the acceptable way:

 

[Karmadhi]

You guys are loosing track of the problem with these ridicioulous slut shaming stuff. OF COURSE,  there is nothing wrong if girls sleep around as long as they are not cheating. I thought this group was more evolved than to slut shame.

The issue the thread opener meant was that if a guy is vocal about his attraction triggers on females, females will get angry and make him feel bad. If guy says i want a healthy weight pretty girl, he is considered a shallow pig.

Meanwhile, when girls say they want a confident charming successful man, that is considered normal and cool. 

Both attraction triggers are equally selfish and survival based, however males are made to feel bad about theirs while women are not.

This is the issue.

[coca]

@Karmadhi

You guys are loosing track of the problem with these ridicioulous slut shaming stuff. OF COURSE,  there is nothing wrong if girls sleep around as long as they are not cheating. I thought this group was more evolved than to slut shame.

The issue the thread opener meant was that if a guy is vocal about his attraction triggers on females, females will get angry and make him feel bad. If guy says i want a healthy weight pretty girl, he is considered a shallow pig.

Meanwhile, when girls say they want a confident charming successful man, that is considered normal and cool. 

Both attraction triggers are equally selfish and survival based, however males are made to feel bad about theirs while women are not.

This is the issue.

 This 

[something_else]

Quote

If guy says i want a healthy weight pretty girl, he is considered a shallow pig.

Meanwhile, when girls say they want a confident charming successful man, that is considered normal and cool. 

What you will typically see is a lot of guys saying "I wouldn't fuck a fat chick" while girls will say "I want to date a confident charming successful man". If a girl was going about saying "I would never date some nerdy little weakling with no confidence" she probably wouldn't be that well received either. This is pure speculation on my part, but from my general impression on average girls will talk more about finding positive qualities while guys will talk about avoiding negative ones, and that framing on the whole is what creates the dynamic you experience here.

I doubt many people would want to chop your head off for saying you want to date girls you're attracted to or who are skinny or in good shape. The one exception to this is when it comes to height perhaps, I'll give you that. But hey, life's not fair. Does this issue really matter that much in the grand scheme? Double standard are everywhere, you're not gonna make them go away.

[Karmadhi]

@something_else

10 minutes ago, something_else said:

What you will typically see is a lot of guys saying "I wouldn't fuck a fat chick" while girls will say "I want to date a confident charming successful man". If a girl was going about saying "I would never date some nerdy little weakling with no confidence" she probably wouldn't be that well received either. This is pure speculation on my part, but from my general impression on average girls will talk more about finding positive qualities while guys will talk about avoiding negative ones, and that framing on the whole is what creates the dynamic you experience here.

Could be so. Either way if asked the unevenes of the attraction triggers for both genders in terms of how "shallow" they are is not equal. Looks are considered shallow, confidence and charisma  is not considered shallow.  Both are purely survival based, shallow and not related to truth. The whole notion that guys are shallow because they care about looks while girls care about personality. 

11 minutes ago, something_else said:

I doubt many people would want to chop your head off for saying you want to date girls you're attracted to or who are skinny or in good shape

Of course they will not kill you but it is less socially acceptable and taboo to say.

12 minutes ago, something_else said:

But hey, life's not fair. Does this issue really matter that much in the grand scheme? Double standard are everywhere, you're not gonna make them go away.

Idk, i did not make this thread. I tried to bring it into the direction the opener intented since i read 20 comments talking about slut shaming which honestly, in a forum like this is kind of ridicioulous to discuss.

[Tangerinedream]

6 hours ago, coca said:

However, when men try to set standards based on their values of attraction such as, a girl should not be fat and take care of her appearance, should not slurp up and open her jay for every homeboy on the block, women frantically start running in screaming SEXIST MISOGNIST SLUT SHAME INSECURE INCEL sToP JudGinG whAT WE dO wItH oUR bODy.

Seriously, what is so wrong and shallow about wanting your long term girlfriend to not be a hoe??

Women want  to deceptively portray purity and innocence using these feminist values to keep their options with high value men open, this is the equivalent of a man lying about his social/financial status and being outraged at a beautiful woman being disappointed when she finds out the truth. 

There should and are social consequences for girls using years 18-30 of inherited sexual value (cock carousel) that is barely worked for handing it out to everyone on the street and after "maturing" and valuing long term commitment and relationships. 

The way you speak is so vulgar, it shows you have a lot of self judgement and self hatred going on, because it seeps out and toxifies your world view. 
Do you realise, the way you speak of others tells a lot about you. 

your world view is you, not others.  Show yourself some compassion and love, and you will begin to see others with love.  

 

[coca]

@Tangerinedream U kinda just pulled that out of ur ass lol, vulgarity and self judgement and self hatred are mutually exclusive, I dont hate anyone for doing anything, girls are free to do what they want, I am speaking in the context of women thinking they deserve high value men by acting like a virgin princess after being ran thru.

[Tangerinedream]

@coca 

[Preety_India]

Who says that men can't have standards? Of course.

 

The real problem is that men don't get women even after having zero standards. 

 

[Arcangelo]

16 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

The real problem is that men don't get women even after having zero standards.

I agree I got ghosted by a 4.

[Preety_India]

22 minutes ago, Arcangelo said:

I agree I got ghosted by a 4.

Oops I had been thinking you had ghosted (oof I mean ignored) me. My bad 

 

[Gesundheit2]

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

The real problem is that men don't get women even after having zero standards. 

[NoSelfSelf]

Because they are spoiled with guys giving them the world and when someone comes along with a spine they dont like it, but they actually do, they will act butthurt but they are attracted to the thing they are butthurt about ? or you are the wrong guy, so basically shes saying you are low level for me ,if someone came that she founds attractive she would flip the script...

Now i read the post ? ofcourse you should know what her sexual history is because she would leave you in the end and you cant turn her into a housewife her cravings are too big for one man to fullfill and usually somethings off in the psyche if shes sleeping with alot guys some daddy issues or somethings not right...

[Nahm]

On 7/11/2021 at 0:37 PM, coca said:

Why do Girls get angry when Guy try to have standards???

It’s not your standards (or theirs), it’s your attitude & perspective. 

Quote

Something I have been noticing a lot recently, is hypocrisy surrounding female and male long term dating standards. Notions of feminism, women rights, and equality encourage women to set healthy standards based on their values of attraction, a man should be independent, provide for himself, a dominant leader, confident,charming,tall,etc. 

Put so lovingly. Nice. 

Quote

However, when men try to set standards based on their values of attraction such as, a girl should not be fat and take care of her appearance, should not slurp up and open her jay for every homeboy on the block, women frantically start running in screaming SEXIST MISOGNIST SLUT SHAME INSECURE INCEL sToP JudGinG whAT WE dO wItH oUR bODy.

Seriously, what is so wrong and shallow about wanting your long term girlfriend to not be a hoe??

Not so much here. 

Quote

Women want  to deceptively portray purity and innocence using these feminist values to keep their options with high value men open, this is the equivalent of a man lying about his social/financial status and being outraged at a beautiful woman being disappointed when she finds out the truth. 

There should and are social consequences for girls using years 18-30 of inherited sexual value (cock carousel) that is barely worked for handing it out to everyone on the street and after "maturing" and valuing long term commitment and relationships. 

It should be a mans right to honestly know about a woman's sexual history before making a decision about long term commitment, and there is nothing misogynistic about rejecting and not taking seriously girls that sleep around, the same way girls reject weak guys who are not strong leaders. 

 

The pretending game works like, you pretend the primary focus isn’t you, relationship, intimacy, etc. The other way to go is genuine, or, authentic, expression of ‘your’ being. Don’t project standards, raise em. 

[SgtPepper]

There's all kinds of people out there. Not every women or men you meet is the kind a person would meet at a club.

There are plenty of men and women who want to save themselves for someone special and have a low to no "body count". and there are plenty of men and women who just want to a free for all.

Find the person who suits you. I'm sure we can all agree with that

 

 

[UDT]

23 hours ago, flowboy said:

The truth is women like sex, and it's their right to enjoy it in any way they please, with whomever they please.

And if you judge them for it, then they won't give you the good sex they are capable of.

Lol

Do you wear a collar too? Ridiculous statement. But a good laugh thanks

[UDT]

Btw I think were this post goes wrong is the age gap of participants. 
Your view on "dating" and the opposite sex etc. changes so dramatically between 16 to 30 that you´d laugh at your self two years ago and so it goes.

So really when ppl argue here and one dude is 14 the other 22, it makes no sense, because the experience is so vastly different

[Leo Gura]

There is hypocrisy on both sides.

Both sides want to maximize the sexual value they get while denying others of maximizing their value.

It's a market system where everyone is looking to maximize their own personal gains.

Selfishness 101. Mostly what you care about is leeching value while offering nothing in return. So here you are, complaining about not getting enough value.

Women actually love it when guys have high standards, but only if she clears them, haha

One of the best ways to appear attractive is to have high standards and screen hard. Like an exclusive nightclub. But to pull this off you'd have to actually not be a desperate starving dog.

[Karmadhi]

@Leo Gura Females loose a lot more by sex than guys due to pregnancy. Therefore, they are more selective and pickier by default. A guy looses nothing by sex, a girl can get herself and her baby killed if she fucks an unworthy man. Therefore, women are hypergamous and only select high value guys to mate. It is needed for her survival and makes total sense.