Pickup is leading to frustration

[bejapuskas]

@StarStruck Maybe the stopping to care and breaking free from seeking is what is gonna do it for you.

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, ll Ontology ll said:

@StarStruck Let's take this slower. What is your learning methodology for any of this? I want to hear about that. I want to know a little more about your mindset as well and make sure its in the right direction. Wisdom is about computing long term consequences and then choosing the judgement that best serves. It would be good if you could open up a little about what you're doing here, other people may chime in as well but take in advance that unless I directly say I don't endorse them. You've had some shakiness in this direction. Let's level that up for you here now by getting you grounded in the right process that feeds a good learning loop for you.

Very deep inside I just want love from a girl. I'm not able to because I have trouble with dissociation from my feelings. Currently I'm focusing on being able to freely express myself by being connected to my emotions. I have trouble doing that because I freeze up. I made a lottt of progress on this front but I still do get the "medusa-complex".  It is a tough nut to crack. I'm reading some books on trauma healing and I will read some books on shadow work, confidence, archetypes and probably some other stuff.

[Leo Gura]

18 hours ago, Hardkill said:

I've been told that the highest anyone has ever gotten for a success lay rate was consistently with 1 out of every 5 girls he approached,

Bullshit

The best guys who go out constantly only sleep with maybe 30 girls per year. 30/year would be master pro level. And to get those 30 they approach 1000+

[Karmadhi]

I read somewhere from a top guy that top guys have around 10 percent close ratio for each number they get. So 10.000 phone numbers would result in 1000 girls.

[Javfly33]

6 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

I read somewhere from a top guy that top guys have around 10 percent close ratio for each number they get. So 10.000 phone numbers would result in 1000 girls.

Well that seems a terrible ratio.

It must depends also in how you get that number.

There's some girls that just will you their number so you finish the interaction Lol.

 

[Karmadhi]

@Javfly33 I think it takes online game, daygame and night game into account.

Not using online while learning to get girls is a dumb mistake imo. USE ALL CHANNELS!! Maybe online dating will get you 1 lay a year, who the fuck cares. It takes a lot of work to make a good profile, true, in terms of getting high quality pictures etc. However once that is over it is kind of autopilot. Just swipe while taking a shit and set up logistics for dates. It does not need to be your only source or main source, just 1 out of many. Consider it as passive income.

Edited July 16, 2021 by Karmadhi

[kras]

1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

Bullshit

The best guys who go out constantly only sleep with maybe 30 girls per year. 30/year would be master pro level. And to get those 30 they approach 1000+

So much work for what? Atracttive or rich guys could do 30 girls for one month if they want, but it is what it is. 

Edited July 16, 2021 by kras

[Javfly33]

40 minutes ago, kras said:

So much work for what? Atracttive or rich guys could do 30 girls for one month if they want, but it is what it is. 

The numbers don't look very real for me.

I've only did like 8-10 approaches some years ago and it gave me 3 dates. And I was a total noob/virgin with 0 theory of attraction.

Doesn't seem realistic that with approaching +1000 girls in a year you will only fuck 30. Wtf? 

I mean Leo must had done a tremendous work in pick up, and I am a noob so it's not like he doesn't know what he's talking about. But 30 seems very low. 

[kras]

6 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

The numbers don't look very real for me.

I've only did like 8-10 approaches some years ago and it gave me 3 dates. And I was a total noob/virgin with 0 theory of attraction.

Doesn't seem realistic that with approaching +1000 girls in a year you will only fuck 30. Wtf? 

I mean Leo must had done a tremendous work in pick up, and I am a noob so it's not like he doesn't know what he's talking about. But 30 seems very low. 

With this amount of work you better get rich, then you wouldn't need this stupid game.

[kras]

1 minute ago, Lucas-fgm said:

But even when you are rich, you still need some game.

Sure

[Joel3102]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Bullshit

The best guys who go out constantly only sleep with maybe 30 girls per year. 30/year would be master pro level. And to get those 30 they approach 1000+

I knew a guy ink pickup who banged 50 in a year supposedly. He was also amazingly attractive, so either the exception or exaggerated 

[Girzo]

1 hour ago, Javfly33 said:

I've only did like 8-10 approaches some years ago and it gave me 3 dates. And I was a total noob/virgin with 0 theory of attraction.

Was it dates or was it sex? You must be quite attractive and have very good logistics if it was sex.

If I recall correctly I have had sex with like 1 in 5 girls who went on a date with me. But I am also a noob and this ratio can be certainly improved.

But I don't think if want to improve it, having a girlfriend is nice, why chase after new people?

[Parththakkar12]

@StarStruck From what you're saying, it sounds like dating is too much of a struggle for you.

Do you really think your life is going to get better by having a relationship? I urge you to visualize that situation and look at whether your life actually gets better or worse. Is this something you're 'just getting done' so that you can be done with it?

[StarStruck]

1 hour ago, Parththakkar12 said:

@StarStruck From what you're saying, it sounds like dating is too much of a struggle for you.

Do you really think your life is going to get better by having a relationship? I urge you to visualize that situation and look at whether your life actually gets better or worse. Is this something you're 'just getting done' so that you can be done with it?

So I dated this girl a few times and that exponentially improved my quality of life. I started loving myself. Life was so exciting. I was full of life and extra energy to get shit done. It wasn't even a relationship but simply dating her and receiving love and attention from her healed me a little bit. Now she is using the "I'm busy" line for two weeks and I've lost my source of love. She was really like a sun in the darkness. 

 @ll Ontology ll thanks. I will think about the algorithms. Do you have any book recommendations on the topic?

Edited July 16, 2021 by StarStruck

[Preety_India]

4 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

So I dated this girl a few times and that exponentially improved my quality of life. I started loving myself. Life was so exciting. I was full of life and extra energy to get shit done. It wasn't even a relationship but simply dating her and receiving love and attention from her healed me a little bit. Now she is using the "I'm busy" line for two weeks and I've lost my source of love. She was really like a sun in the darkness. 

 @ll Ontology ll thanks. I will think about the algorithms. Do you have any book recommendations on the topic?

 

I think you're being excessively attached and dependent.

Heal yourself. You'll always face this problem if you don't heal your void 

Girls can't be your permanent source of joy and when girls sense that, they'll most likely not want to fill those shoes for you. They'll walk away because they don't want the job of being a love supply for you.

You're starting things on the wrong foot.

 

 

[AtheisticNonduality]

7 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Bullshit

The best guys who go out constantly only sleep with maybe 30 girls per year. 30/year would be master pro level. And to get those 30 they approach 1000+

But what if I am 6'1, pretty, muscular, having an amazing ass, highly intelligent, funny, serious, and confident.

[Karmadhi]

@Javfly33 John Anthony claims to have 150 a year at an advanced level. Idk how accurate that value is though.

However, there are pretty of guys that have 300+ laycounts so i think 30 a year is not that much at an advanced level. Maybe 50 a year would be more realistic especially if you use online dating properly. You can get a lay a month easily from online dating alone if you are good at using it.

Edited July 16, 2021 by Karmadhi

[Roy]

3 hours ago, StarStruck said:

So I dated this girl a few times and that exponentially improved my quality of life. I started loving myself. Life was so exciting. I was full of life and extra energy to get shit done. It wasn't even a relationship but simply dating her and receiving love and attention from her healed me a little bit. Now she is using the "I'm busy" line for two weeks and I've lost my source of love. She was really like a sun in the darkness. 

Was this that same blonde?

[Karmadhi]

28 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Maybe if are in a country like Sweeden where men are usually very shy, your success rate can be higher. Since you have less competition and it's easy to stand out since the other guys are kind of clueless.

Only thing with Swedish guys is that they are unbeliaviable attractive making even a decent looking guy in other countries look like shit.

However from what you described me about them they seem lame so it is balanced i guess.

[Javfly33]

5 hours ago, Girzo said:

Was it dates or was it sex? You must be quite attractive and have very good logistics if it was sex.

If I recall correctly I have had sex with like 1 in 5 girls who went on a date with me. But I am also a noob and this ratio can be certainly improved.

But I don't think if want to improve it, having a girlfriend is nice, why chase after new people?

Of course not, it was a date. But if you apply my ratio and down it by maybe 20%, which obviously was coincidentally high (luck of the begginer?), And apply that 1 in 5, that would make more lay count when approaching +1000 on a year than 30 like Leo said. 

7 hours ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Leo's numbers look really solid for me.  

Well that's disappointing, I seriously belief I can make it higher