Practices for "neediness" elimination ?

[Gabith]

Hey Myself,

I'm reading the book Models how to attract women through honesty. It's fascinating and I'm a needy guy. So I was wondering if there is "spiritual" practices that can help me to become non-needy towards people. To stop the need to please, so I can talk with women / people with authenticity and no fear of "losing something" or being judged.

 

Thank u

[mandyjw]

Practice pure appreciation. Appreciate people without needing anything from them. Or flowers, or the sky, or graffiti on the street, whatever. It's amazing how fast and how far this will take you. Suddenly everyone is like a god unto themselves. Suddenly there are no unimpressive people, so how on earth could you possibly be one of them? 

[vladorion]

Only self love.

[nistake]

A counterintuitive move could be being alone as much as you can. Contemplating, meditating, journaling. The more you get to know yourself, the more neurotic behavior patterns you can discover and let go.

When you realize that no 'other' person can make you happy, only yourself, then you'll be able to be truly authentic and confident. You might also realize that you don't have anything to lose, so why not let your personality shine with all your quirks.

[Gabith]

14 minutes ago, vladorion said:

Only self love.

Why Only self love ?

If I love myself enough, I can let go of neediness completely and feeling okay being authentic in every circumstances ?

To increase my self-love, I have to do positive affirmations and "feeling love meditation" ?

[vladorion]

6 hours ago, Gabith said:

Why Only self love ?

If I love myself enough, I can let go of neediness completely and feeling okay being authentic in every circumstances ?

To increase my self-love, I have to do positive affirmations and "feeling love meditation" ?

Yes, because what you need from others is love and acknowledgement.

Neediness is simply a lack of self love.

There are different ways to practice it. The best practice, in my opinion, is noticing what you already love in yourself (but are not aware of) as much as possible. For example, when you're thinking random thoughts, you can investigate, why am I thinking those thoughts? What am I to get out of it? Let's say, you're having a conversation with someone in your head. You can ask "what do I want to say/prove about myself but am hiding it?". Usually, it's how cool, awesome, wise, smart etc. you are. Let yourself feel it. You'll notice that you already love that image of yourself, you don't even need to learn to love it. Love is already present. 

You can't force yourself to love. Love doesn't work like that. You can simply become more and more aware that self love is already the case.

[The0Self]

6 hours ago, Gabith said:

Why Only self love ?

If I love myself enough, I can let go of neediness completely and feeling okay being authentic in every circumstances ?

To increase my self-love, I have to do positive affirmations and "feeling love meditation" ?

Yes. Just suggestions:

Don't push anything away. Love it all unconditionally. Meditate perhaps with TMI. If you (if only intuitively) realize you are everything / limitless perfection, there's no need for anything -- psychedelics can perhaps open up that possibility but it's actually an open door at all times and asks nothing of you -- you are perfect.

There's an intuition for how accurate these posts will land -- this one will land perfectly 

I can also say, Metta practice seemed to be associated with viewing all things and people and my self (all was Self) on the same level, so to speak -- this was when my story went from needy to bountiful.

Edited July 10, 2021 by The0Self

[Nahm]

8 hours ago, Gabith said:

Hey Myself,

I'm reading the book Models how to attract women through honesty. It's fascinating and I'm a needy guy. So I was wondering if there is "spiritual" practices that can help me to become non-needy towards people. To stop the need to please, so I can talk with women / people with authenticity and no fear of "losing something" or being judged.

 

Thank u

Presence. Write down anything you believe you need.  You could even write down “not needing”. That get’s the thoughts ‘out of your head’ and in front of you, so you can take a look. Then look around and notice everything you wrote down that you need, you don’t have, and you’re fine. Anytime you believe the thought “I’m needy”, inspect it again. 

[Gianna]

Sometimes people are afraid that if they let themselves be needy their neediness will grow and get out of control. Have you ever let yourself purge out your neediness? Or have you only ever resisted it? Or judged it? If you have only ever resisted your neediness I would suggest you let yourself meet all of your needs. If you need validation, comfort, understanding, attention, whatever it is.. let yourself be given those things by others. You may find that your neediness dissolves afterward.

[RickyFitts]

Understand where the neediness is coming from on an emotional level, feel into it and strive to become conscious of any beliefs you may have about yourself (eg, 'I'm unlovable', or 'there's something inherently wrong with me'). Certainly don't judge yourself for feeling needy, being human can be extremely challenging and you deserve compassion rather than condemnation.

[Gabith]

thank u