Spontanious enlightment experience

[Hap E-Boi]

Hi everyone,

I thought I've already had ego dissolution experiences, but now realized these were awakenings (and beyond) but not full enlightenment.
Never have I taken any psychedelic, however I meditate several hours a day.
Nonetheless the experience I want to talk about happened spontaneously, not during or after meditation.
I think it was triggered by sleeping 1 night on the countryside (while visiting my mom) as I'm used to sleeping in the city.

With the previous awakening experiences it felt like all is well, it made me understand Plato's cave metaphor and often I got "love-bombed" by the universe.
However there was still a bit of self left to understand anything I experienced, a self which could feel how great it all felt.

When I woke up yesterday morning, there was no self to have any thought, no self to understand anything, no self which could suffer or be happy. Nor there was any desire, comfort, discomfort, content or discontent. I became a full observer, full consciousness. Otherwise nothing really special happened. I went downstairs to pee and upstairs to go to sleep again. However there was no peeing, no toilet or stairs, or bed, there was only "what is" so to say (not even the word). There was no free will either. However waking up a second time I was in a lower state of consciousness, I'd say at a "awaking level", but before the "love bombing of the universe", which happens somewhere in between.

Coming back from this I realize I have seen a glimpse of what people like tony Parsons are talking about all the time. Or what Bernadette Roberts talks about having experienced.

Note that during the experience itself, there is no self to realize or understand anything.

I'm interested to hear about other similar experiences.

Edited July 10, 2021 by Hap E-Boi

[Nahm]

5 hours ago, Hap E-Boi said:

Note that during the experience itself, there is no self to realize or understand anything.

There is no actuality of ‘during the experience itself’ (that thought arises now) . Point to how ‘this experience’ is not, or is separate of, ‘that experience’. 

Self referential thoughts arise, and believed, there does seem to be that which I experienced & this which I”m experiencing. 

[Hap E-Boi]

@Nahm true it arises "now", like all what I say here, there are no words what can actually describe "it".
(ego defending itself) If "I were in that state right now", there would be no I writing this here. Even though there is no now and then it's all "eternity". I can only point to "this", everything I say here can be further deconstructed to infinity. I could put every word between quotation marks, but those are a construction too. The only reason I'm writing this right now is ego, "I". It's selfish, it loves feedback. It loves to have the last word as well. It feels threatened when being "corrected" and gets a dopamine rush from a forlorn attempt to defend what it has said. It feels pride in admitting this all, etc.

But everything is alright.

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