"This animal would die but it would never suffer"

[Gianna]

Everything is slowly dwindling away and I don't feel anything. The only thing I feel is the feeling of not feeling anything. Where did all of my desires go? Desire is what pushes you through life. What will happen to me without it? Do I even care? I'm imagining an animal in the wild without any desires at all– for food, water, shelter, life. This animal would die. But it would never suffer. It doesn't desire death but it doesn't desire life. It is okay with everything so everything is okay. Maybe this is why I have been thinking about death so much lately. It has somehow made its way onto the same level as everything else– the level of 'okay'. This, that. It's all the same. There truly is nothing better or worse than anything else in life. Not unless you make it that way. Still, while one thing can mean something, everything means nothing. It's kind of magical. So what do you want to do with nothing? Oh wait, I can't find my desires. 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Gianna

[ivankiss]

That was beautiful.

...May I?

Not feeling anything is not so unusual. Many experience this in their lives - I'd say.

It's great that you are at peace with everything. If I had to choose; I'd choose peace over joy. I'd rather be forever at peace than forever joyful - if that makes any sense.

Thankfully; I do not have to choose between the two. Because they are actually One. Peace and Joy are actually on the very same spectrum. It could be also said that only from a place of inner peace can one come to express joyfullness. Play. Creativity. Fun. Pleasure. Etc.

When one is at peace; joy is right next door - so to speak. Just a step away.

So... Are you really at peace, Gianna? Or is there something bothering you?

Could your desire at this moment perhaps be the desire for reconnecting with your feelings? Your drive? Your inner spark? Your fire?

Don't you desire something exciting, wild, magical, unbelievable? Don't you wanna feel that? Feel life? 

I think you do. And I like it.

[Gianna]

@ivankiss Wow I love you. 

 

20 hours ago, ivankiss said:

Are you really at peace, Gianna? Or is there something bothering you?

Could your desire be the desire for reconnecting with your feelings?

If you take away everything you are left with nothing.

If you detach from everything, you feel nothing. 

When I reconnect with my feelings I wonder, are these really my feelings? My desires? Or are they adopted? In the ultimate sense, we are one. So I guess they are all my feelings and all my desires. I guess that is what has been bothering me lately. Thank you for probing me. I wouldn't have realized what is actually bothering me otherwise! 

[ivankiss]

@Gianna Beautiful.

It is my absolute joy and pleasure.

Much love and respect to you.