The Best Pickup of my Life Report - All Criticism Welcome

[Consilience]

I posted this in another seduction group I'm apart of, but throwing it out here as well just to get constructive feedback. When I encounter a night like this again, I want to make sure I'm prepared for it. Even though everything went extremely well, oddly well even, I didn't quite finish as strong as I'd like and I'm not exactly sure how to improve nor where to take this moving forward. So if you're willing, I would deeply appreciate any criticism or feedback, especially on how to end on a stronger note. 

Overall though, I think reading this report can help some of you guys out here on the forum with understanding how to embody their masculinity. Stepping into it is really the only way to attract high quality women. I'm definitely still learning this art myself, but I've found day game cold approaching to be one of the most powerful ways to integrate one's masculine energy into the body and being. That being said, this was not a cold approach, but was riding off the momentum of an increased number of cold approaching I've recently done. 

Thank you in advance to anyone who has feedback or questions of any kind. 

-

TLDR: I pretty nailed the whole interaction until the end. I had an uncalibrated ending and I'm not exactly sure how to move forward. The girl did give contact info, but she doesn't live in my area (was only traveling) so Idk how to make things happen for future interactions. Learned so much in one night about the subtleties of seduction.

So me and my friends were bumming around on a beach yesterday, throwing a frisbee, we started a beach fire, and we were more or less self-amusing, just having a great time. There was another group of people around our age that set-up a fire a bit further down on the beach. I'd noticed there were two males, two females. I couldn't tell if they were on some sort of double date or not, but whatever.

Turns out this group needed help with their fire so I end up helping them get their fire going which introduced a super small eye exchange with one of the girls. Thing is though, this girl is no lie a 9/10. Honestly though looks aren't super impressive by themselves so even though she's incredible gorgeous, the deeper attraction isn't there yet. PLUS she's with a group of guys and I just assume she's with one of them. Probably a bad assumption I need to learn to let go of for future interactions. Some time passes.

As the evening progresses our two groups continue to have increasingly more regular contact. Me and the same girl officially introduce ourselves and so far nothing sexual other than somewhat longer than normal eye contact (I've found being able to hold eye is game changing). Me and my friends are playing frisbee somewhat too competitively but just having a good time. But again, we find ourselves merging with the other group. So we start to all just chill together.

Later on a golden opportunity - Another group of girls from further down the beach comes over to our two groups and asks if we had a lighter. They were having trouble building their fire and I immediately got up and got their fire started for them. I think what was powerful about this was that the 9/10 girl was sharing a story with the group as the other girl approached. I wasn't intentionally ignoring her, but displaying a sign of non-attachment PLUS solving problems for others PLUS it being for another group of girls… You just can't ask for a better opportunity. 9/10 girl is definitely more interested as I come back.

Then as the night progresses we're still hanging out as one big group, just sharing stories, laughing, enjoying the spontaneity of our paths crossing. At one point the topic of meditation gets brought up and the two girls basically jump my bones asking me about it and I start leading the group through this pretty deep conversation about meditation. Psychedelics get brought up as well. And I'm asking questions making sure it doesn't devolve into being all about me, but simultaneously sharing a bit vulnerability. We all were. Turns out this girl is way into meditation as well.

After having displayed leadership multiple times, having a strong presence and just a string of great opportunities, I've kind of dominated the dynamic of the group. The 9/10 girl is sitting next to me, her leg bumping into mine, our hands brushing, very obvious yet subtle kino. I'm letting her initiate probably 75-80% of it but moving my body in around 20-25% of the time back. Not too sure if this is a good amount but it seemed to be. At one point our hands are touching about as much as possible without holding and we're in strong eye contact, and just flowing in conversation. There's 0 doubt in my mind that this girl is into me. And what makes it nerve wracking is how into her I am… 9/10 in looks PLUS she's way into things I'm very passionate about. Meditation, psychedelics, she's a self-proclaimed tree hugger (as am I)… I mean just text book. So far I'm staying chill though.

After this, I believe there was a "mini shit test." She ends up getting up and sitting on the other side of the beach fire and one of the other dudes comes over to sit by her. An intuitive understanding arose that I just needed to sit still and literally do nothing. I didn't move, I didn't try to talk to her across the fire. I didn't ignore her, but I didn't do any initiating.

10 minutes later she's started reengaging, trying to get my attention, holding that strong eye contact again from across the fire, asking me questions.

So the night is ending and this group of people are packing up to leave. I recognize that if I'm going to get this girl's number it needs to happen now. And here's what threw me off, the limiting belief I'm still struggling with - I recognized that we'd all just had this super wholesome night as strangers bonding by a beach fire getting real. I also recognized that one of the other guys may very well have been into this girl. So as I'm about to pull the trigger and ask for this girls number, it feels like I'm souring that bro bond I've formed with these other guys. But on the other hand, this literally feels like a dream girl. I would absolutely regret not getting this girl's number. So I go for it despite my "lowered state."

I tell her next time she's near my city we should hangout and ask for the number, she enthusiastically agrees. However, the critical mistake I made was I ended the conversation with "Well hey it was great meeting you. You're super interesting and honestly sexy." To which she replied "Haha yeah.." and then kind of rushes off to her friend group. Couldn't tell if she was just nervous or if she was thrown off by my abrasive compliment…

Lmao.

In hindsight, there was no need to communicate those intentions through language. Or if I was, using a more calibrated word or language than "sexy." All of that was already communicated through the prior interactions. I guess I've accidentally conditioned myself with openers clearly stating my attraction for girls, but this is not always necessary given that this wasn't a cold approach. The other thing, I still feel somewhat bad potentially overstepping on another dude's girl but it was clear they weren't an official couple and I guess selfishly I just have to go with what my gut tells me. And my gut said this girl and I had a connection and I wanted to see her again.

So here we are. I haven't texted her yet as I'm kind of trying to let some of the potentially awkward tension dissipate.

Moving forward, is there any advice on how to make things happen with her? She's definitely going to be visiting my area again but I'm unsure how to stoke attraction/interest when it could be 3-6 months, possible a year before she's back. I guess I have this idea in my mind that she'd one day hit me up out of the blue being in town, but to facilitate that possibility, it feels like I'd need to be at least interacting with her from time to time. Keeping myself on her radar given she's no doubt surrounded by a plethora of dudes.

Obviously short term goal is to keep approaching and meeting women. Logically I understand that there are many super attractive, super interesting "hippie" girls out there. Especially with where I live. But I guess I'm still working through my emotional states that are based on a scarcity mindset, and just working through the "wow I really connected with this girl on a multitude of levels, physical, mental, spiritual." But girls take longer to bond than men do, it seems. It seems to be a survival strategy for weeding out men. So even though I for sure made an impact on this girl, I doubt it was as strong as impact as she made on me. This is also the case because being as attractive as she is, there's no doubt she gets lots of attention from guys.

Further, just because she made a deeply emotional impact on me, this does not mean I have to squash or deny these feelings. In fact, the healthiest approach would be to deeply and completely feel these sensations while recognizing the objectivity of the situation. The objectivity is that she's just 1 girl, out of many, many, many more I'll meet in life. Detachment, counter-intuitively, means feeling completely and fully. Letting shit wash through you.

Overall, I learned SO MUCH from this night. This will definitely be one I remember long-term and continue to integrate. No doubt that any future successes with women will be influenced by the lessons from this night.

[Kshantivadin]

53 minutes ago, Consilience said:

I tell her next time she's near my city we should hangout and ask for the number, she enthusiastically agrees. However, the critical mistake I made was I ended the conversation with "Well hey it was great meeting you. You're super interesting and honestly sexy." To which she replied "Haha yeah.." and then kind of rushes off to her friend group. Couldn't tell if she was just nervous or if she was thrown off by my abrasive compliment…

 

Whoospie... 

Sounds like you're doing good, except for the fact that you're contriving too much. The true outcome independence is letting go - and that's the most attractive thing.  Zero pretensions. This is where game comes full-circle and you stop thinking and go into full flow to become whole. From what I've read I think you're familiar enough with it to go into these stages of game.

Contemplate your "bro-code". Is there something you fear?

 

and for the gamey comments:

• Let go of the girl completely. She is backpacking and a 9/10. Letting go doesn't mean not sending her a text or something, it just means let go of your mental relationship to her. It will do good for the potential encounters and the ensuing relationship.
• You fucked up the goodbye. Amazing encounters should end with both of you feeling great and it being completely unnecessary to say anything cerebral - maybe spontaneously breaking into a hug and a kiss. Consider expressing yourself more - this girl obviously meant things to you. Why not tell her that? Instead you uttered "honestly sexy" ;( 
  that's the key point of this encounter. express yourself. tell people stuff. genuine and authentic comments won't make people recoil and shrink. if something meant a lot to you, then say it.

 

[Consilience]

2 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

Whoospie... 

Sounds like you're doing good, except for the fact that you're contriving too much. The true outcome independence is letting go - and that's the most attractive thing.  Zero pretensions. This is where game comes full-circle and you stop thinking and go into full flow to become whole. From what I've read I think you're familiar enough with it to go into these stages of game.

I know lmao. Yeah I've realized the more I'm cold approaching, interacting with women and whatnot, the more I'm understanding the fine tuning required for a truly calibrated man. I was literally great, better than great, all night but there was just a slight slip at the end.

Thank you for the feedback and direct insight about letting go. Yes you're correct. It's weird how fixated the mind can get on one person, how rampant the fantasies or projections can be. I still don't know this girl really at all even after a kickass time on the beach. We could be wildly incompatible. Letting go makes sense all the way around. 

 

2 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

Contemplate your "bro-code". Is there something you fear?

Hmm. I guess the idea of another dude swooping in. I mean that's what the fear is based in, yet in this case I was the one doing the apparent "swooping." Yet on the other hand, I realize that if the roles were reversed and another dude took their shot with her I wouldn't feel bad or angry at him; so I should give myself that permission as well. 
 

2 hours ago, Kshantivadin said:

You fucked up the goodbye. Amazing encounters should end with both of you feeling great and it being completely unnecessary to say anything cerebral - maybe spontaneously breaking into a hug and a kiss. Consider expressing yourself more - this girl obviously meant things to you. Why not tell her that? Instead you uttered "honestly sexy" ;( 
that's the key point of this encounter. express yourself. tell people stuff. genuine and authentic comments won't make people recoil and shrink. if something meant a lot to you, then say it.

Well the thing is, is that comment WAS authentic and genuine, but it's also something she probably hears ALL the time. And it was one out of many more effective ways to communicate. A hug would be been great. We actually did hug earlier, but another hug would have been ideal. 

And yeah I know. It kinda really fucked the momentum up. I'm particularly disappointed just because of how organic the rest of the night had been and to fuck it up at the end is just... Sigh. It is interesting how quickly girls can lose steam like that. As a guy, if a girl made some sort of weird "Fuck up" last minute I'm not sure it'd kill the whole vibe but maybe it would. It's hard to say. 

Like I said, HUGE learning night on so many fronts. 

Thank you for the feedback man.

[Bando]

@Consilience Very solid interaction, good job going into the field and not creating threads complaining about women.

A few tips to keep in mind next time is to screen for logistics early especially when you recognize there's interest, ex, "how do you guys know each other in the group" or "how long are you staying in this area." Not handling logistics is what's going to kill most of your leads that you get.

Recognising interest and calibrating to it is one of the most important things you learn when gaming. You have to learn when its best to set up an insta-date, try to go for the pull or just get a strong number.

In this situation, I would have asked to meet up the next day if she was available. Counter-intuitively you must strike while the iron's hot, especially with an attractive girl. With the amount of options a girl has if you wait too long she will literally move on to the next interesting guy she meets.

Also don't worry about the whole "bro thing," find out the availability of a chick via logistic screening and then your good to go. Just don't be to gamey or to push too hard or else the group will get defensive and closed off. 

2 hours ago, Consilience said:

I'm particularly disappointed just because of how organic the rest of the night had been and to fuck it up at the end is just... Sigh. It is interesting how quickly girls can lose steam like that. As a guy, if a girl made some sort of weird "Fuck up" last minute I'm not sure it'd kill the whole vibe but maybe it would. It's hard to say. 
 

Many of your sets will go like this, One Rule of thumb is that you'll only be able to close 10% of girls that have interest in you and that's if your game is tight.

Always remember that an average woman that's in shape has 10-30x more options than the average guy, 100x if the girl is attractive, it's not that she looses interest its just she has so many other options she doesn't have to wait around, this is why they do things like pull back out of nowhere, its not even a conscious thought, she just moves in her own way and most men will typically follow because they have such a scarce mentality.

[NoSelfSelf]

I dont see anything "bad" even ending is good ...you said what you wanted if you meant it (and that she felt it)..then its good not just another obvious compliment you are sexy(the place it comes from is important)...

I see that your problem is Logistics you go for numbers and stuff where if you want action you need to have place near by or car to drive to the place...setting up how you gonna make things happen like a strategic motherfucker ?

And btw this feeling you got that you bond dont buy into them they will pass and make you weak imo if shes 9/10...

[Kshantivadin]

16 hours ago, Consilience said:

Thank you for the feedback man.

im glad you're doing the work  you're making the world better even if you don't see it

[Consilience]

14 hours ago, Bando said:

Very solid interaction, good job going into the field and not creating threads complaining about women.

A few tips to keep in mind next time is to screen for logistics early especially when you recognize there's interest, ex, "how do you guys know each other in the group" or "how long are you staying in this area." Not handling logistics is what's going to kill most of your leads that you get.

Appreciate this. That's a good point. Getting clear on how they all know each other is key for the future. 
 

14 hours ago, Bando said:

Recognising interest and calibrating to it is one of the most important things you learn when gaming. You have to learn when its best to set up an insta-date, try to go for the pull or just get a strong number.

Something I'm learning is how to effectively project my sexual intent in a calibrated way based on the girl's personality. Some girls respond better to more forwardness, some require more subtly. I tend to have trouble with over projection or under projection... Finding that middle ground is really difficult and requires a pretty high level of emotional awareness. 

For this interaction, an instant date would have been better. I can already think of a scenario where I pulled her away from the group and use it as an excuse to walk up the beach together. I think the hotter the girl, the more critical it is to escalate strongly, the instant dates, hugs, possibly going for a kiss. Strong verbal connection and even kino is not going to be enough to make that lasting impression, it seems. 

 

14 hours ago, Bando said:

In this situation, I would have asked to meet up the next day if she was available. Counter-intuitively you must strike while the iron's hot, especially with an attractive girl. With the amount of options a girl has if you wait too long she will literally move on to the next interesting guy she meets.

Yes for sure. The frustrating part is I bet I could have met up with her the next day if I'd pulled the trigger on that. In this phase of learning about seduction, I guess I've been focused primarily on phone numbers, but instant/next day dates man... Ugh. Shit is hard.

Damn does that iron loose heat FAST. At least for someone that attractive. 

14 hours ago, Bando said:

Many of your sets will go like this, One Rule of thumb is that you'll only be able to close 10% of girls that have interest in you and that's if your game is tight.

Always remember that an average woman that's in shape has 10-30x more options than the average guy, 100x if the girl is attractive, it's not that she looses interest its just she has so many other options she doesn't have to wait around, this is why they do things like pull back out of nowhere, its not even a conscious thought, she just moves in her own way and most men will typically follow because they have such a scarce mentality.

When you say close, do you mean get numbers or lay? 

It's nuts dude. I cannot imagine the psychology of a 9/10 or 10/10 woman in the 21st century. They are living in effortless abundance. Even if a guy steps into true abundance, has shitloads of options, he'll still have to actively create leads, actually lead/handle the logistics of the dates to a successful conclusion (sex), be the man. An attractive woman literally just has to sit back and be pretty. Lmao. 

[Consilience]

6 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

I dont see anything "bad" even ending is good ...you said what you wanted if you meant it (and that she felt it)..then its good not just another obvious compliment you are sexy(the place it comes from is important)...

I see that your problem is Logistics you go for numbers and stuff where if you want action you need to have place near by or car to drive to the place...setting up how you gonna make things happen like a strategic motherfucker ?

And btw this feeling you got that you bond dont buy into them they will pass and make you weak imo if shes 9/10...

Thanks. I could just tell it didn't end as nearly as well as the build up. Honestly, as I'm reflecting on it, it almost seemed like it spontaneously lost steam as the friend group was packing up to leave. I mean yeah she definitely gave her number out without issue, but still something shifted there at the end even before the comment. And I have no idea. 

You're right about the bonding thing. She hasn't replied to the message I sent, she's literally already completely moved on hahaha. Man such a brutal lesson when dealing with girls that attractive. It seems that either an instant date is required, some kind of rapid escalation, or make them wait before I reach out given that most guys will text/call well within 24 hours. Fucking games man. 

[Consilience]

1 hour ago, Kshantivadin said:

im glad you're doing the work  you're making the world better even if you don't see it

Thank you sir. Yeah it was weird... I felt in my bones that even though this was in some sense a failure, it's helping shape me into "a better man." Next time I'm in a truly loving relationship, I can have this girl to thank for pulling out my weaknesses, so to speak. 

[flowboy]

Nice report!

Don't you love those nights where you're just "on".

 

Has she left already? Did she leave the day right after you met her?

Otherwise, what are you doing writing a report, text her and demand that she come hang out right this minute!

What you don't realise (what I also often did not realise?) is that girls will forgive you many fuckups if they like you. You know the ending was awkward. She knows that. But she's used to looking past things like that. You're torturing yourself trying to be 100% perfect, while in reality, So Many Awkward Moments have to happen before any boy and girl get together! And the girl forgives all of them because she likes him.

She could be waiting for you to interact more. Drop the thought that you 'fucked up', obsessing over that is the real fuckup.

If she's left the area and you don't even know when she'll be back, chances are you'll never see her again. You haven't been intimate, spent time together and built comfort, so unless you do more, you're just an 'interesting guy from one night' that she def. will forget if she's traveling.

In any case, great experience, thanks for sharing!

Edited July 9, 2021 by flowboy

[aurum]

@Consilience

Good stuff man. You may have gotten a little nervous towards the end, but overall it sounds like your instincts are solid.

I also like how natural this was. Just having fun with your friends, meeting strangers when the opportunity presented itself and engaging the whole group. If this girl was part of your regular social circle, I’d bet you’d be well on your way to something evolving between you two.

One critique I’d make would be to work on setting up more definitive plans in the future. Something more concrete than “we should hangout again if you’re ever in my city”. And I wouldn’t necessarily wait until the last moment like that when she’s about to leave. That’s gonna put pressure on you.

Also, it feels to me like your ideas about bro-code were really just excuses. It was all good when you were just chatting, but then you knew you had to “do” something and “get” something from her. And your mind likely started pulling excuses, like “bro-code”, in order to keep you safe. Nothing to do about it, just be aware.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Consilience You did good asking for number, props.... next level is not giving a f about if she doesnt reply or if she does something(easier said that done) you did things your way, we forget to give ourselves a pat on a back ...you can meet thousands of even better looking girls in your life you can develope to get better we forget that also?

[Bando]

8 hours ago, Consilience said:

I guess I've been focused primarily on phone numbers, but instant/next day dates man... Ugh. Shit is hard.

Don't worry about this, getting a strong number close is just fine, you want to make sure you at least meet her by the end of the week, the earlier the better, you want to set plans to meet the same day no later than 1 day after the #. The more sets your in, the better your "intuition" will be in determining your next move, this isn't something you can be consciously aware of this takes many trails and errors to get down.

 

8 hours ago, Consilience said:

When you say close, do you mean get numbers or lay? 

Getting the lay, one of the best advice one of my wings taught me was to aim to sleep with 10% of the girls I attract, if you can get to that number you'll be considered advanced. That means out of 10 numbers, you get 1 lay, this is much more difficult than it seems btw. 

 

8 hours ago, Consilience said:

She hasn't replied to the message I sent, she's literally already completely moved on hahaha. Man such a brutal lesson when dealing with girls that attractive

This is why you have to run more volume, take a moment to think about it from a woman's perspective, that girl you met probably has an instagram, Tinder, Bumble, active social circle that she can go to events/parties with and lets not even forget the random guys that might approach her during the day. Imagine getting bombarded with girls like that everyday you'd have a very short attention span as well. 

Most guys have no social life, don't use dating apps, no social media and rely on being the "lone pick up guy" and magically think there going to be surrounded by quality women, thats not how it works lol.

After doing a few approaches by yourself, I always recommend first finding 2-4 like minded guys you can routinely go out with, not only is it much more fun you can tap into their social networks and get invited to events you regularly couldn't get into by yourself. But to do that you first have to come of like a dude who enjoys his life, has hobbies, takes care of his body ect.

[Consilience]

10 hours ago, flowboy said:

Nice report!

Don't you love those nights where you're just "on".

Yes! And the more one can study what "on" is, the more one can begin to spontaneously generate these states... 

10 hours ago, flowboy said:

Otherwise, what are you doing writing a report, text her and demand that she come hang out right this minute!

What you don't realise (what I also often did not realise?) is that girls will forgive you many fuckups if they like you. You know the ending was awkward. She knows that. But she's used to looking past things like that. You're torturing yourself trying to be 100% perfect, while in reality, So Many Awkward Moments have to happen before any boy and girl get together! And the girl forgives all of them because she likes him.

She could be waiting for you to interact more. Drop the thought that you 'fucked up', obsessing over that is the real fuckup.

I appreciate the vote of confidence. However, given that she never replied to my initial text, I'm guessing there's something else going on. I have no idea if this girl has another dude waiting for her at home, if she and the guy she was worth were actually fucking days before and once the night was over, the fantasy sort of rain out. But I'm not going to pursue if there's 0 reciprocation on her part. 

Thank you though. You're right, I did not Fuck up. That was definitely the hottest most interesting girl I've gotten the number of. In the future, escalation would be advisable. I can think of a couple of different ways I could have made the night even better with very small changes with how everything played out. 
 

10 hours ago, flowboy said:

If she's left the area and you don't even know when she'll be back, chances are you'll never see her again. You haven't been intimate, spent time together and built comfort, so unless you do more, you're just an 'interesting guy from one night' that she def. will forget if she's traveling.

Based on some of the conversations I overhead, I'm pretty sure she's either already left. I'm just going to take it as a powerful teaching opportunity. 

 

10 hours ago, flowboy said:

In any case, great experience, thanks for sharing!

Thank you for reading.

[Consilience]

10 hours ago, aurum said:

@Consilience

Good stuff man. You may have gotten a little nervous towards the end, but overall it sounds like your instincts are solid.

I also like how natural this was. Just having fun with your friends, meeting strangers when the opportunity presented itself and engaging the whole group. If this girl was part of your regular social circle, I’d bet you’d be well on your way to something evolving between you two.

One critique I’d make would be to work on setting up more definitive plans in the future. Something more concrete than “we should hangout again if you’re ever in my city”. And I wouldn’t necessarily wait until the last moment like that when she’s about to leave. That’s gonna put pressure on you.

Also, it feels to me like your ideas about bro-code were really just excuses. It was all good when you were just chatting, but then you knew you had to “do” something and “get” something from her. And your mind likely started pulling excuses, like “bro-code”, in order to keep you safe. Nothing to do about it, just be aware.

Really appreciate this feedback... It's spot on. I could have also asked her to leave the fire and walk up the beach together, create an instant mini date. There was a specific point in the interaction where this would have been very possible had the possibility even been in my head during the night. 

Yes after further self analysis, the bro-code stuff was self sabotaging limiting beliefs. If the roles were reversed and another dude took his shot with a woman I was into, honestly I wouldn't care unless it was just blatant we were a thing. There was no obvious signs at all she was a thing with any of the guys. So given that I'd give that permission to another dude, I should give myself that permission as well. 

[Consilience]

9 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Consilience You did good asking for number, props.... next level is not giving a f about if she doesnt reply or if she does something(easier said that done) you did things your way, we forget to give ourselves a pat on a back ...you can meet thousands of even better looking girls in your life you can develope to get better we forget that also?

Thank you for the encouragement man. Yeah honestly I was so appreciative of how tripped out I got after she never replied. Still significantly less upset as I would have been 3-5 years ago. Yet the fact that there was still so much attachment to someone I realistically still barely knew was and is eye opening. It feels like pickup and seduction is such a powerful "technique" at giving us glimpses into the unconscious emotional mind, beliefs, and frames running our lives. The more we can feel and let our neediness go, the more the outcomes of these interactions stop mattering. 

[Leo Gura]

On 7/8/2021 at 1:49 PM, Consilience said:

"Well hey it was great meeting you. You're super interesting and honestly sexy."

Too on-the-nose.

You got to learn to say the opposite.

"Well, hey, you seem real cute, but I bet there's something wrong with you. You probably snore like a pig."

Everything about attracting women is OPPOSITE-WORLD.

Learn to live in opposite-world.

[Consilience]

2 hours ago, Bando said:

This is why you have to run more volume, take a moment to think about it from a woman's perspective, that girl you met probably has an instagram, Tinder, Bumble, active social circle that she can go to events/parties with and lets not even forget the random guys that might approach her during the day. Imagine getting bombarded with girls like that everyday you'd have a very short attention span as well. 

Yeah. This night really allowed me to peer into the experience of what being a super hot girl must be like. It's insane, the absolute effortless abundance they have. I don't blame her. It makes the rewards of this work that much sweeter, and I can already start to feel the internal shifts happening as a result of the journey so far.  

2 hours ago, Bando said:

Getting the lay, one of the best advice one of my wings taught me was to aim to sleep with 10% of the girls I attract, if you can get to that number you'll be considered advanced. That means out of 10 numbers, you get 1 lay, this is much more difficult than it seems btw. 

This is pretty high standards but it's a target to aspire to. Thank you. I've had a bit of beginners luck with getting numbers but the next step would be learning how to turn numbers into dates into getting laid. Short term goal is to start getting good at instant dating and powerful first interaction escalation. As in minimum hug.  

2 hours ago, Bando said:

Most guys have no social life, don't use dating apps, no social media and rely on being the "lone pick up guy" and magically think there going to be surrounded by quality women, thats not how it works lol.

After doing a few approaches by yourself, I always recommend first finding 2-4 like minded guys you can routinely go out with, not only is it much more fun you can tap into their social networks and get invited to events you regularly couldn't get into by yourself. But to do that you first have to come of like a dude who enjoys his life, has hobbies, takes care of his body ect.

This makes a lot of sense. I currently have a pretty small social circle but that's due to devoting significant amounts of time on consciousness work. How would you suggest going about finding high quality guys to do this work with? Thankfully, I have the life, hobbies, and body thing taken care of and am very confident around other guys. Even though I don't socialize much, I'm very busy and don't waste tons of time on bullshit. 

[Consilience]

4 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

Too on-the-nose.

You got to learn to say the opposite.

"Well, hey, you seem real cute, but I bet there's something wrong with you. You probably snore like a pig."

Everything about attracting women is OPPOSITE-WORLD.

Learn to live in opposite-world.

Yes super counter intuitive. I mean even at that point where she got up and sat on the other side of the fire. I was damn near ignoring her and that was literally the perfect play and she came back even stronger... This night was so fucking insightful. 

But also there are points where compliments and validation are appropriate. For example, after a girl qualifies herself after putting a good bit of pressure on her, good opportunity to release the pressure by validating. She'll feel like she earned it. In this case, she didn't really do much to earn what I said. Your suggestion is playful, and teases her. Thank you sensei.

[Raptorsin7]

On 7/8/2021 at 1:49 PM, Consilience said:

I posted this in another seduction group I'm apart of, but throwing it out here as well just to get constructive feedback. When I encounter a night like this again, I want to make sure I'm prepared for it. Even though everything went extremely well, oddly well even, I didn't quite finish as strong as I'd like and I'm not exactly sure how to improve nor where to take this moving forward. So if you're willing, I would deeply appreciate any criticism or feedback, especially on how to end on a stronger note. 

Overall though, I think reading this report can help some of you guys out here on the forum with understanding how to embody their masculinity. Stepping into it is really the only way to attract high quality women. I'm definitely still learning this art myself, but I've found day game cold approaching to be one of the most powerful ways to integrate one's masculine energy into the body and being. That being said, this was not a cold approach, but was riding off the momentum of an increased number of cold approaching I've recently done. 

Thank you in advance to anyone who has feedback or questions of any kind. 

-

TLDR: I pretty nailed the whole interaction until the end. I had an uncalibrated ending and I'm not exactly sure how to move forward. The girl did give contact info, but she doesn't live in my area (was only traveling) so Idk how to make things happen for future interactions. Learned so much in one night about the subtleties of seduction.

So me and my friends were bumming around on a beach yesterday, throwing a frisbee, we started a beach fire, and we were more or less self-amusing, just having a great time. There was another group of people around our age that set-up a fire a bit further down on the beach. I'd noticed there were two males, two females. I couldn't tell if they were on some sort of double date or not, but whatever.

Turns out this group needed help with their fire so I end up helping them get their fire going which introduced a super small eye exchange with one of the girls. Thing is though, this girl is no lie a 9/10. Honestly though looks aren't super impressive by themselves so even though she's incredible gorgeous, the deeper attraction isn't there yet. PLUS she's with a group of guys and I just assume she's with one of them. Probably a bad assumption I need to learn to let go of for future interactions. Some time passes.

As the evening progresses our two groups continue to have increasingly more regular contact. Me and the same girl officially introduce ourselves and so far nothing sexual other than somewhat longer than normal eye contact (I've found being able to hold eye is game changing). Me and my friends are playing frisbee somewhat too competitively but just having a good time. But again, we find ourselves merging with the other group. So we start to all just chill together.

Later on a golden opportunity - Another group of girls from further down the beach comes over to our two groups and asks if we had a lighter. They were having trouble building their fire and I immediately got up and got their fire started for them. I think what was powerful about this was that the 9/10 girl was sharing a story with the group as the other girl approached. I wasn't intentionally ignoring her, but displaying a sign of non-attachment PLUS solving problems for others PLUS it being for another group of girls… You just can't ask for a better opportunity. 9/10 girl is definitely more interested as I come back.

Then as the night progresses we're still hanging out as one big group, just sharing stories, laughing, enjoying the spontaneity of our paths crossing. At one point the topic of meditation gets brought up and the two girls basically jump my bones asking me about it and I start leading the group through this pretty deep conversation about meditation. Psychedelics get brought up as well. And I'm asking questions making sure it doesn't devolve into being all about me, but simultaneously sharing a bit vulnerability. We all were. Turns out this girl is way into meditation as well.

After having displayed leadership multiple times, having a strong presence and just a string of great opportunities, I've kind of dominated the dynamic of the group. The 9/10 girl is sitting next to me, her leg bumping into mine, our hands brushing, very obvious yet subtle kino. I'm letting her initiate probably 75-80% of it but moving my body in around 20-25% of the time back. Not too sure if this is a good amount but it seemed to be. At one point our hands are touching about as much as possible without holding and we're in strong eye contact, and just flowing in conversation. There's 0 doubt in my mind that this girl is into me. And what makes it nerve wracking is how into her I am… 9/10 in looks PLUS she's way into things I'm very passionate about. Meditation, psychedelics, she's a self-proclaimed tree hugger (as am I)… I mean just text book. So far I'm staying chill though.

After this, I believe there was a "mini shit test." She ends up getting up and sitting on the other side of the beach fire and one of the other dudes comes over to sit by her. An intuitive understanding arose that I just needed to sit still and literally do nothing. I didn't move, I didn't try to talk to her across the fire. I didn't ignore her, but I didn't do any initiating.

10 minutes later she's started reengaging, trying to get my attention, holding that strong eye contact again from across the fire, asking me questions.

So the night is ending and this group of people are packing up to leave. I recognize that if I'm going to get this girl's number it needs to happen now. And here's what threw me off, the limiting belief I'm still struggling with - I recognized that we'd all just had this super wholesome night as strangers bonding by a beach fire getting real. I also recognized that one of the other guys may very well have been into this girl. So as I'm about to pull the trigger and ask for this girls number, it feels like I'm souring that bro bond I've formed with these other guys. But on the other hand, this literally feels like a dream girl. I would absolutely regret not getting this girl's number. So I go for it despite my "lowered state."

I tell her next time she's near my city we should hangout and ask for the number, she enthusiastically agrees. However, the critical mistake I made was I ended the conversation with "Well hey it was great meeting you. You're super interesting and honestly sexy." To which she replied "Haha yeah.." and then kind of rushes off to her friend group. Couldn't tell if she was just nervous or if she was thrown off by my abrasive compliment…

Lmao.

In hindsight, there was no need to communicate those intentions through language. Or if I was, using a more calibrated word or language than "sexy." All of that was already communicated through the prior interactions. I guess I've accidentally conditioned myself with openers clearly stating my attraction for girls, but this is not always necessary given that this wasn't a cold approach. The other thing, I still feel somewhat bad potentially overstepping on another dude's girl but it was clear they weren't an official couple and I guess selfishly I just have to go with what my gut tells me. And my gut said this girl and I had a connection and I wanted to see her again.

So here we are. I haven't texted her yet as I'm kind of trying to let some of the potentially awkward tension dissipate.

Moving forward, is there any advice on how to make things happen with her? She's definitely going to be visiting my area again but I'm unsure how to stoke attraction/interest when it could be 3-6 months, possible a year before she's back. I guess I have this idea in my mind that she'd one day hit me up out of the blue being in town, but to facilitate that possibility, it feels like I'd need to be at least interacting with her from time to time. Keeping myself on her radar given she's no doubt surrounded by a plethora of dudes.

Obviously short term goal is to keep approaching and meeting women. Logically I understand that there are many super attractive, super interesting "hippie" girls out there. Especially with where I live. But I guess I'm still working through my emotional states that are based on a scarcity mindset, and just working through the "wow I really connected with this girl on a multitude of levels, physical, mental, spiritual." But girls take longer to bond than men do, it seems. It seems to be a survival strategy for weeding out men. So even though I for sure made an impact on this girl, I doubt it was as strong as impact as she made on me. This is also the case because being as attractive as she is, there's no doubt she gets lots of attention from guys.

Further, just because she made a deeply emotional impact on me, this does not mean I have to squash or deny these feelings. In fact, the healthiest approach would be to deeply and completely feel these sensations while recognizing the objectivity of the situation. The objectivity is that she's just 1 girl, out of many, many, many more I'll meet in life. Detachment, counter-intuitively, means feeling completely and fully. Letting shit wash through you.

Overall, I learned SO MUCH from this night. This will definitely be one I remember long-term and continue to integrate. No doubt that any future successes with women will be influenced by the lessons from this night.

Awesome story man. 

I think it's not necessary to convey you are sexually interested so quickly, in most cases it's implied. There's no upside to it. Either she already finds you attractive or she is still determining whether she finds you attractive and you jump the gun.