How did everyone start their self-actualisation journey

[SelfLove]

Hi Guys,

New to Actualised.org, I was wondering how you guys started your self-actualization journey. Was it through yourself or by someone telling you and encouraging you to try it? I am struggling with the notion that because someone else was the reason I even started this journey, that I don't truly belong here or that I am a fraud.

[Bodhitree]

I must admit, I just like forums with a spiritual theme. I hang out on a few different ones, and I like the young crowd here. But I’ve been into spirituality for a long time, kinda grew up with it, although recently I have been more into studying Buddhism. 

[ted73104]

Hey, everyone belongs here. No one is a fraud in the realm of God.

I think for most people, there is always an external reason that drives people to pursue self-actualization. For example, it's because you want something that you can never get in your current state, or you are in some ditch that you desperately want to get out of. 

For me, I was always obsessed with this sort of "be a good Christian" notion, because I wanted the type of lifestyle that some of the more "successful" Christians had in my previous church. I wanted to be successful in my career, relationships, and a beautiful loving girlfriend. However my standards were way too high relative to where I was. The harder I pursued, there seemed to be a negative backfire within my mentality, because I was pushing myself too hard using strategies that did not work.

I was eventually depressed and judgemental about myself. Then by chance, I was introduced to post modern philosophy from a Christian friend at the church interestingly. I hated the stuff initially, but eventually I was fascinated by how some of the ideas really opened my mind up. I eventually started to question everything the Church taught. Then I got into therapy, as I began to suffer more from the backlash I got from my church. I saw a few therapists along the way, and one of them told me that there was no standard cure for my problems. The only way I could get out from being depressed most of the time was to find my own way, and that everyone else could only hint at how I could formulate my own method. I started searching for ideas online. Initially I found guys like awaken with JP, Tony Robbins, which were great but didn't really work for me. But then I found Leo and Teal Swan, and things started to change...

[Willie]

I was at a low point in my life. I was unemployed and couldn’t afford to live, so I lived vicariously through various internet forums and videos on my mother’s bad internet connection. The one that led me to actualized.org was hearing of vipassana meditation on the Waking Up podcast, then I found Shinzen Young videos, and then Leo. But I also got pretty deep into 4chan and Documenting Reality, along with the furry forums I joined while still at university. I was very envious of all these people living/dying as they were while I was mired in mere day-to-day existence as another Millenial living with their parent unemployed after graduation. I had to make a change and live/die as I wanted, but lacked the motivation or courage because all my effort led me to that point. I had to admit that it’s all my fault and stop being a victim.

[SelfLove]

@ted73104 @Willie  thanks for sharing guys. I guess I was on a level of consciousness where I didn’t care to learn and expand, but eventually when my mental health deteriorated I really started to open my mind and part of me feels like when I was younger I would’ve loved to learn about this more cause it rang true for how my younger self viewed the world, but through conditioning over the years I guess it stopped being relevant and unconsciousness took over.