How come that girls can be ruthless against nice guys?

[Striving for more]

5 minutes ago, something_else said:

this right here, this is your problem. you are looking for arguments and reason and logic about dating when really you just need to go outside and be social

@something_else This is a fair comment, and has been my position for the last year, I am not a " bitter incel" but I am a fluid minded person, I have recently internalised black pill iedology (not as rigid dogma) and it just makes sense with my experiences and statistics

But I can't deny with your comment, this is a discussion, as I say, prove me wrong, debunk me if I am wrong, agree with me where I may be right ... this is all for the greater good to challenge assumptions. 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Striving for more

[Striving for more]

12 minutes ago, something_else said:

This is literally in your head, it's painfully obvious you've just theorised this with no real world experience or read other people say it. 

Fair enough ... although I do actually have some experience ... but probably not enough, the sample size isn't large enough. You may be right. 

Anyway, I am leaving this forum, Probably going to meditate and try fix my sleep because I am not in a good place, I don't want peoples opinions and this forum just makes me more miserable, my fault for playing into this.

This forum is like a force multiplier, when you're content, you look for good stuff to improve your life, when you're feeling shit & weak, you find stuff to reinforce it. 

In fact the mind itself is a force multiplier, thinking is the accelerator of your internal state, thus the solutions is always to feel into your state, get out of your head (and if you're lucky enough to have friends or family) to perhaps distract yourself with them for a while and get away from thinking  or distract yourself with hard work, exercize ect.. 

I am leaving the nasty world of intellectual, and doing some marshal arts, meditation. Good bye world, fuck you mind. 

[Crane Bahnsteik]

A problem can not be solved at the level at which it was created, this is like a fly bouncing against the window when in fact the window is open.

What are nice guys? 99% of nice guys are nice because they want something and are being manipulative to get it, so its a conditionality, they are only nice if they get what they want, since this is highly manipulative the other person will subconsciously pick on it and start resisting/avoiding or even treat the manipulative person in a harshly manner. Also, by being nice to "get" you are coming from a duality perspective, the perspective in which there is something to be gotten, this is never the case and only induces more resistance in the other person.

On the other hand, being a dick triggers the innate ego response of seeking approval, thats why many people chase assholes, its an approval issue derived from lack of self esteem and self love.

All these problems arise due to the innate sense of separation that accompanies experience, people feel good in relationships because a part of the sense of separation dissolves and the state of peace where nothing has to be done starts to prevail.

Since we cannot control other people and trying to do so only results in more resistance, changing our behavior to get results (being less nice, being more aggressive, being rude, being sexual) will either fail or put you in relationships with like minded manipulative people.

So, the solution to the problem is letting go of trying to control others and letting go of getting their approval, since anyway, all these are "internal" perspectives and do not exist in the "real world", there is no one approving of you out there, there is only a feeling inside which you unconsciously are creating, by realizing this then you realize all subjective reality is self created and separation is merely an illusion necessary to create emotions. In this state you attract people that actually like you for what you are and with whom you have the innate sense of freedom derived from the non manipulative state you are now in. In this state the people who don't like you or even treat you like shit just don't matter anymore, its their problem and only reflects their lack of self love.

[Tangerinedream]

1 hour ago, Striving for more said:

I'm talking about bad looking or low value men, who get treaded with disrespect and contempt,

And what about the girls you judge below a 6 In looks, who you refuse to give a chance? Where is your compassion for them, why don’t you date them and drop your high standards? 

[something_else]

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You don't know me nor do you know what my overall world view is, so please do not generalise 1 comment into "I have no empathy towards women" because that is not true

yea you're right, I was a bit harsh, but my idea still stands. It's essentially a rehash of the grass is always greener. You listed a lot of ways in which women are cruel to men, but there are plenty of ways in which men are just as bad. These are less prevalent to our survival so we are not as aware of them though, that is the point I was making

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This is true but I'm not talking about creepy men. I'm talking about bad looking or low value men, who get treaded with disrespect and contempt, rather than just a polite no thanks but I am flattered ect... 

Think about it, women are the weaker sex, aggressively rejecting a guy is not really a great move for them. I'd imagine most rejections happen via ghosting of some kind, and next most by a polite no. If you get an unwarranted insult then sure, that's bad. But I don't imagine it's that common. Someone with more experience can probably confirm that.

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I am leaving the nasty world of intellectual, and doing some marshal arts, meditation. Good bye world, fuck you mind. 

Good. I think one of the things I've noticed over the past few months when I've been trying to ramp up my socialisation is that my mind loves to spend ages and ages thinking about all these theoretical social situations and if you lack confidence this almost always ends up reinforcing negative and weird unrealistic ideas in your mind. 

This isn't a problem you're going to solve from your bedroom with intellectualisation, unfortunately for all of us since that's one of the skills we feel most comfortable with. The main reason I'm even participating here is to try and reinforce this idea in my own mind to make me more aware of when I'm doing this and stop it

[bejapuskas]

Do you guys think constantly having weird people you would not date spamming your PMs is a privilege? I mean maybe to some extent, but you guys look at it way too simplistically...

[Peter Miklis]

10 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

Do you guys think constantly having weird people you would not date spamming your PMs is a privilege? I mean maybe to some extent, but you guys look at it way too simplistically...

From a male perspective, it seems that way, cuz if some dude's DM's were flooded with chicks ready to fuck, I'd be like "daaaaaaamn what a G I G A C H A D."

[Preety_India]

5 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

@Tangerinedream Btw, I found your profile pic super cute hahaha

I also thought the same

 

 

[Striving for more]

3 hours ago, Tangerinedream said:

And what about the girls you judge below a 6 In looks, who you refuse to give a chance? Where is your compassion for them, why don’t you date them and drop your high standards? 

@Tangerinedream 

Don't ever tell me what to. How about you just .... F*** Off 

Go on ban me from this forum I don't care anymore, it's not helpful anyway. 

 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Striving for more

[Tangerinedream]

3 hours ago, Lucas-fgm said:

True, the big truth here is that humans are selfish as fuck. Really ugly girls suffer a lot too.

Yeah of course, but people don’t want to see it.  Everyone else should change but not them. 
 

1 hour ago, Lucas-fgm said:

Btw, I found your profile pic super cute hahaha

Haha ?

[Tangerinedream]

3 hours ago, Peter Miklis said:

From a male perspective, it seems that way, cuz if some dude's DM's were flooded with chicks ready to fuck, I'd be like "daaaaaaamn what a G I G A C H A D."

I guess a way for guys to understand the other way around would be to imagine that you have hundreds of ‘ugly’ (whatever you view as ugly) girls throwing themselves at you, but you aren’t attracted to any of them, you just want that 1 hot model to give you attention. 

[Jacob Morres]

4 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

Do you guys think constantly having weird people you would not date spamming your PMs is a privilege? I mean maybe to some extent, but you guys look at it way too simplistically...

 

32 minutes ago, Tangerinedream said:

I guess a way for guys to understand the other way around would be to imagine that you have hundreds of ‘ugly’ (whatever you view as ugly) girls throwing themselves at you, but you aren’t attracted to any of them, you just want that 1 hot model to give you attention. 

do u think this is the result of having abundance? i feel like if u get so many people in your dms u can afford to dial it down and get super specific. nothing wrong with that but i think the issue is the skewed nature of it

you guys say that well so many of them are weird so it's not that great anyways

but i think thats an unfair comparison because as an analogy for some successful people, they deal with the struggle of not knowing who to trust because people can be not genuine and want your money/fame/success. but i do think that is better than the stark opposite. success/money/fame seems to have more privilege than lack of it 

i may be an idiot but thats my 2c. 

i want to iterate that despite this phenomena i really dont care. i think with enough built skills the issue becomes a non-issue for anyone

Edited July 9, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Tangerinedream]

6 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

i feel like if u get so many people in your dms u can afford to dial it down and get super specific. n

It’s not a good thing. The thing is, it’s not like every girl is getting hundreds of DM’s or hundreds of offers from guys every day.  Maybe if you are an influncer or just have a lot of followers would you get this many dm’s. But anyway, girls getting this many messages won’t even bother to take them seriously, it’s just spam.  Dms mean nothing.. 

10 minutes ago, Jacob Morres said:

but i think thats an unfair comparison because as an analogy for some successful people, they deal with the struggle of not knowing who to trust because people can be not genuine and want your money/fame/success. but i do think that is better than the stark opposite. success seems to have more privilege than lack of it 

 

And this is how it is for girls a lot of the time, they don’t know who to trust, and who is just trying to get sex from them. 

[Jacob Morres]

@Tangerinedream  i dont think u got my point... i brought up the success example because success (versus having little money) comes with tons of benefits/privelege despite being imperfect and coming with issues. the pros outweigh the cons 

now i dont think it's so black and white as success/no success because i think the issue is more nuanced. but overall, its definietely skewed towards women

i honestly feel like it's like a white person defending himself by saying that white people have issues too and it's not all that great. which is true, but they def have some privelege in a certain area

Edited July 9, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Tangerinedream]

@Jacob Morres ok I didn’t understand properly, it’s been a long day haha. 
you are saying that girls saying that getting a lot of attention from guys is not as good as it seems, is the equivalent of a rich person saying being rich is not as good as it seems ?? 

[something_else]

Quote

Don't ever tell me what to. How about you just .... F*** Off 

Go on ban me from this forum I don't care anymore, it's not helpful anyway. 

@Striving for more Yea this dating shit can uncover some demons. Sounds like whatever you just read hit home somehow, I've been there. Wish you the best man, if you ever want to talk about some stuff PM me and I'd be happy to talk with you

 

[something_else]

1 hour ago, Tangerinedream said:

@Jacob Morres ok I didn’t understand properly, it’s been a long day haha. 
you are saying that girls saying that getting a lot of attention from guys is not as good as it seems, is the equivalent of a rich person saying being rich is not as good as it seems ?? 

Yes. But is the rich person wrong when they say that money doesn't make you happy? Not necessarily, it's just a different kind of problem from the one we have

[Jacob Morres]

@something_else you're right, but it's still a form of privelege. U can't deny whether you'd rather have money versus its lack of. That's an easy decision, even if having money comes with its own issues

I'd rather deal with the issues that come with being rich than being poor 100x over and I know ur ass would pick it too 

1 hour ago, Lucas-fgm said:

@Tangerinedream I think he mean girls getting alot DM's from  guys, is a kind of privilege. Since most guys don't get any DM from girls. Even though you girls deny the benefit of it.

It's like a white person denying its privileges.

I think this was what he meant, but I'm not sure.

 

 

Yeah this 

 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[Karmadhi]

@Tangerinedream

3 hours ago, Tangerinedream said:

I guess a way for guys to understand the other way around would be to imagine that you have hundreds of ‘ugly’ (whatever you view as ugly) girls throwing themselves at you, but you aren’t attracted to any of them, you just want that 1 hot model to give you attention. 

Thing is most of these guys throwing themselves at girls are pretty decent guys. I would agree if they were fat slobs that just jerk off all day and cannot hold a conversation, however usually they are relatively successful in what they do, high integrity, smart, cool confident people. So a better example would be if 100 decent looking (but not hot girls) throw themselves at you. Not bad at all.

[Karmadhi]

@something_else

12 hours ago, something_else said:

Or imagine having unattractive traits as a woman, there's far less you can do about it that because many of those traits are inherent.

Google Nicky Minaj before and after and see how much you can actually do about it. And i am talking just about the face with that example. If a girl goes to the gym and has a hot fit body, it will put her above a lot of girls in most countries. Feminine behaviour is also very attractive for guys which is a lot easier to develop than to become a ruthless asshole like girls get wet for. Some of the girls that got chased the most that i have known were okay looking with feminine personalities. Just because some guys judge girls purely on looks does not mean all guys do, plenty see other more changable things too (like behaviour).

Although with technology a girl does not even need these things. She can just use her phone to get dates with guys much higher value than her quite easily. If online dating and social media did not exist then your arguments would be more realistic, however they do not reflect reality much. 95 percent of guys are not player pua super rich chad people like dan bilzerian than have 40 hotties after them. They are normal or decent guys, thats it. Even if i personally become a top 10 percent man, it will not change this reality and people will still complain.

 

Edited July 9, 2021 by Karmadhi