Questioning my career path and everything I ever believed in

[savingmylove]

I've been doing well in the e-commerce side of things for quite some time now. Recently, I tried and took the bait and start my own dropshipping store. I've read dropshipping guides like this to get me started but it's been two months and I'm getting minimal sales. I haven't even broken even yet. I've been in the digital e-commerce space for too long and I'm getting tired of getting sucked into the online space.

Over the past few months, I've been questioning a lot of things. The hierarchical concept of politics, the way society works and malfunctions, the real function of the internet not just as a money-making scheme, but a data-mining gig as a whole. I'm not even high or on any drugs, but I feel like I'm spewing out high-person BS haha. I don't know if it's just because I'm close to 0 sales, or it's because my mind has been veering towards the fact that most of us in the labor force are a product of a capitalistic behavior in a society where thoughts like being an employee or earning "security" under big corporations, getting a degree to land a good job and be a worker forever is the way to go–which is why starting your own business or going through your own entrepreneurial venture is mentally draining to the point of depression. 

I'd love to hear ya'll's thoughts. If I were given the choice, I'd just live on a remote island and have a self-sustaining living set-up where I'm disconnected and deferred from the entire world. But we can't all have nice things. 

[Nahm]

@savingmylove

In that sense, you are already given the choice. Say you will live self sustained on a remote island, and it will be so. Your word is the only power. Consider it possible, think about it, believe in it, fantasize, know it will be, feel it is already the actuality, see this is already ‘that’.  Working for a big company is a false sense of security like believing in depression is a false sense of yourself. 

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/68280-what-is-a-contractionnegative-trigger-realized/

[Zeroguy]

33 minutes ago, Nahm said:

@savingmylove

In that sense, you are already given the choice. Say you will live self sustained on a remote island, and it will be so. Your word is the only power. Consider it possible, think about it, believe in it, fantasize, know it will be, feel it is already the actuality, see this is already ‘that’.  Working for a big company is a false sense of security like believing in depression is a false sense of yourself. 

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/68280-what-is-a-contractionnegative-trigger-realized/

Lol.

I was born in Serbia.There is no hope until you take gun in your hand.No.1 Life lesson learned. 

Edited July 6, 2021 by Zeroguy

[supremeyingyang]

4 hours ago, savingmylove said:

I've been doing well in the e-commerce side of things for quite some time now. Recently, I tried and took the bait and start my own dropshipping store. I've read dropshipping guides like this to get me started but it's been two months and I'm getting minimal sales. I haven't even broken even yet. I've been in the digital e-commerce space for too long and I'm getting tired of getting sucked into the online space.

Well, take some time off would be the obvious advice. Is there anything holding you back? Could you close the business?

4 hours ago, savingmylove said:

Over the past few months, I've been questioning a lot of things. The hierarchical concept of politics, the way society works and malfunctions, the real function of the internet not just as a money-making scheme, but a data-mining gig as a whole. I'm not even high or on any drugs, but I feel like I'm spewing out high-person BS haha. I don't know if it's just because I'm close to 0 sales, or it's because my mind has been veering towards the fact that most of us in the labor force are a product of a capitalistic behavior in a society where thoughts like being an employee or earning "security" under big corporations, getting a degree to land a good job and be a worker forever is the way to go–which is why starting your own business or going through your own entrepreneurial venture is mentally draining to the point of depression.

That is one perspective. Yes, it can be really nasty nowadays - and you can dodge a lot of these traps. Isn't it cool that you are aware?

 

[savingmylove]

23 hours ago, Nahm said:

@savingmylove

In that sense, you are already given the choice. Say you will live self sustained on a remote island, and it will be so. Your word is the only power. Consider it possible, think about it, believe in it, fantasize, know it will be, feel it is already the actuality, see this is already ‘that’.  Working for a big company is a false sense of security like believing in depression is a false sense of yourself. 

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/68280-what-is-a-contractionnegative-trigger-realized/

I know the sheer power of manifestation and I believe it to be true, but things in life just try to block you in so many ways. I just want to escape the 9-5, I just want to purge my mind from all the things society has forcibly implanted ever since I was young.

[savingmylove]

21 hours ago, supremeyingyang said:

Well, take some time off would be the obvious advice. Is there anything holding you back? Could you close the business?

That is one perspective. Yes, it can be really nasty nowadays - and you can dodge a lot of these traps. Isn't it cool that you are aware?

 

I could definitely close down the business if I want to, but it just ricochets back to me. Everything that I've been building up is for the sole reason of gaining financial freedom, which hopefully, in turn, will give me mental freedom. To meditate and cultivate thoughts that I know run deep but only surface in shallow levels because of the amount of mental power just lasting a day takes.

I'm also aware that I'm...aware. There's this irony and oxymoron of knowledge. When you know that you know something, you begin to question if you actually know it or you only know what your current mind is capable of knowing (idk if I'm making any sense at all ).

I'm desperate for change. Desperate to break off these invisible chains society has clasped onto my veins and mind. I know the potential I have is greater than the "I am" right now. I've been manifesting, clinging, and hoping for a miracle to happen. For a path to open. One that would lead me away from everything. Because in theory, it sounds so easy. Leave my family, leave my friends, book a ticket and go somewhere–never to return. But... I can't. Because theories are never a solid basis for truth and reality...they're often an idealized version of what we want to happen.

I don't wanna die off a remote island knowing I can still spread so much good to this world. 

[supremeyingyang]

@savingmylove

well, what would then be a more pragmatic approach? couldn't you bite the bullet (= earn your freedom) before you go off? And you don't have to go anywhere to change. The world is mind.

[Nahm]

3 hours ago, savingmylove said:

I know the sheer power of manifestation and I believe it to be true, but things in life just try to block you in so many ways. I just want to escape the 9-5, I just want to purge my mind from all the things society has forcibly implanted ever since I was young.

The way “it” is purged is via no longer believing “it”, and or the expression of “it”, the emptying of “it”. You may have been influenced, I don’t deny that. But now you are on the path, and there is no one to blame on the path. Your path is your own asphalt.  

@Zeroguy

Sure. Just be sure to dig two graves. 

[savingmylove]

15 hours ago, Nahm said:

The way “it” is purged is via no longer believing “it”, and or the expression of “it”, the emptying of “it”. You may have been influenced, I don’t deny that. But now you are on the path, and there is no one to blame on the path. Your path is your own asphalt.  

This paragraph holds a lot of wisdom that I still can't fully comprehend. Life is so beautiful yet so painful at the same time. Can't stop dreaming and manifesting. Better things, better things.

[Nahm]

@savingmylove

Life is beautiful & painful indeed, yet, it is also an appearance without past or future. Experiencing pain isn’t quite the same as carrying it mentally as a view. I’d classify that more as suffering. I suggest that suffering isn’t so much to do with a past or pains therein, but a present clearer knowing of what you now want, and some carry over of views which are resistance to having it. I’d make a dreamboard, to fill yourself with even more certainty of your vision, & experience more clarity & inspiration, letting any arising views contrary to receiving what is on your board, go. I think the resonance between what is wanted & the allowing of it is more what’s presently felt, and all things painful, through you, become all things beautiful & desired. A lot can be said for keeping it simple, especially while world views are morphing. Simple as in, there is no randomness, no coincidences, no chance or happenstance… but very literal, very whole as in the entirety or whole of experience, guidance. Like when you get a text for example, it seems completely random & at the will or whim of someone else who texted you. But maybe it isn’t. Maybe life is a cosmic game for you afoot. Maybe it’s inherently fun. Maybe. 

I mean, if you were about to take a trek through thousands of acres of woods, and you knew you’d get lost at some points, you’d surely bring a compass. 

[Zeroguy]

Career path without guns.What?Ain't no gonna play guitar.That's for sure.

Need to turn my military experience into something.

Arrrrgh.

Edited July 8, 2021 by Zeroguy

[Zeroguy]

Nobody knows the sorrow of giving away your God given talents. 

When you finally find true meaning and desires in life and you have to give it away. 

[Humble]

@savingmylove @savingmylove

I totally understand how you are feeling but the key is growing your list and this Digital world 

https://bit.ly/3xBoe8n

[Zeroguy]

So many ways to express my grattitude as red one. So many possibilities. 

[savingmylove]

On 08/07/2021 at 11:33 AM, Nahm said:

@savingmylove

Life is beautiful & painful indeed, yet, it is also an appearance without past or future. Experiencing pain isn’t quite the same as carrying it mentally as a view. I’d classify that more as suffering. I suggest that suffering isn’t so much to do with a past or pains therein, but a present clearer knowing of what you now want, and some carry over of views which are resistance to having it. I’d make a dreamboard, to fill yourself with even more certainty of your vision, & experience more clarity & inspiration, letting any arising views contrary to receiving what is on your board, go. I think the resonance between what is wanted & the allowing of it is more what’s presently felt, and all things painful, through you, become all things beautiful & desired. A lot can be said for keeping it simple, especially while world views are morphing. Simple as in, there is no randomness, no coincidences, no chance or happenstance… but very literal, very whole as in the entirety or whole of experience, guidance. Like when you get a text for example, it seems completely random & at the will or whim of someone else who texted you. But maybe it isn’t. Maybe life is a cosmic game for you afoot. Maybe it’s inherently fun. Maybe. 

I mean, if you were about to take a trek through thousands of acres of woods, and you knew you’d get lost at some points, you’d surely bring a compass. 

Is my profile or notifications broken? I'm not getting notified when someone messages me or replies to my thread... Anyway, this was beautifully put. You've managed to capture how I view the essence of life as well–a weird spiral of maybes and what-ifs. No one can really determine the shape nor magnitude of life–it is simply something that is beyond our level of understanding. I do understand that most of my longings are brought by an internal battle and hunger for something more, a notion that the mystery of life always offers something beyond us. 

Thank you for the dreamboard idea! It's definitely something I'll look into. It'll give me a grasp of how much of my manifestations and daily meditations actually come to life!