Problem with nonduality

[Someone here]

I just truly discovered this notion of "wholeness", "unity" or "oneness" from non-duality. This idea is very frightening for me.. because it collapses my experience of reality. Awareness is all that there is.. every other thing is a mind-created concept So, Non-Duality is awareness itself. There is no separation of ego/thought or object/subject. Precisely because experience is all it Is.. and experience IS consciousness. There is no experiential state if there is no awareness, therefore "being" is all there truly is. This is without having this "I" that is assumed to be doing the experiencing. For some this mystical ego-transcendence is beautiful, because of the divine nature of it(How this pure state of awareness feels). And also because it is the ultimate truth. It is the true nature of nature. Duality is the greatest enemy to non-duality (Obviously). But get this, in order to reach non-duality you MUST purge the duality of the mind. So, having a firmly dualistic mind will not comprehend this in any way. Because non-duality is experienced, it is not known by a rational explanation. For the explanation of it is dualistic in nature, because language is dualistic and always implies separation. People engage in meditation to reach this perceptual change of awareness.

My biggest fear is knowing that everything I have experienced up until now has been an illusion. A product of the mind's intrinsic tendency to dualism. Everything seems false, nothing is real. Truth is just one. Up until now my philosophical "truths"(Or any thought of that matter) have been dualistic. So, I reach some sort of existential crisis or nihilistic crisis in nature. Not only that, but all of my dreams, hopes, my personal realizations are far from truth. Any meaning becomes meaningless. It is not worth living for something at it is just a concept, a construct of the mind that separates me and true reality. In a crude way, it is all fake. I can't even think without separation so it troubles me more.

I think the most terrifying thing is looking out into space and realising that that for the most part.. is reality - this yawning near-void filled with things that would kill you. Here we are.. little fragile Flatlanders hugging the increasingly disordered surface of one planet.. with the yawning hungry cosmos poised to take us all back.
 

Edited July 5, 2021 by Someone here

[nistake]

I'd say you're not yet ready to surrender to your true nature. Maybe shadow issues and/or egoic attachments?

As for meaning: Yeah, awareness/your true nature is inherently 'empty' and meaningless. However, why not create meaning? Why not take meaninglessness full circle?

Edited July 5, 2021 by nistake

[allislove]

@Someone here

I can point you where the "I"-thinking started to play its thing in the message but I won't do it - you created a lot of questions on the forum & enough pointers were provided. Do the work bro ✊ 

Are you listening to Rupert Spira on a regular basis? Just listen to Rupert without trying to understand the message. Maybe, it may help too, maybe not.

[Someone here]

12 minutes ago, nistake said:

awareness/your true nature is inherently 'empty' and meaningless. However, why not create meaning? Why not take meaninglessness full circle?

Im just tired of word games and concepts. I have had depersonalization and used to obsess over those things which made my sense of reality more thickle and slippery. Feeling i have no purpose sucks and ruins your whole life.

 It is impossible to find the answer yet we are trapped in a constant stream of never ending seeking. Even leo can't stop seeking because he is still in the dream believing he is achieving something serious. what a fuck...

[nistake]

1 minute ago, Someone here said:

Im just tired of word games and concepts. I have had depersonalization and used to obsess over those things which made my sense of reality more thickle and slippery. Feeling i have no purpose sucks and ruins your whole life.

If I'm being honest, this sounds like a bit neurotic to me. How about just relaxing and stopping with the endless seeking for a while?

2 minutes ago, Someone here said:

It is impossible to find the answer yet we are trapped in a constant stream of never ending seeking. Even leo can't stop seeking because he is still in the dream believing he is achieving something serious. what a fuck...

I'd be careful with the projections.

[Someone here]

@allislove no I'm not listening to Spira recently. Been listening to Jim Newman recently. 

I'm thinking of quitting this whole spiritual quest for good. I stopped listening to Leo for the same reason. 

Imb afraid also that I'm all alone and hallucinating the whole world. I'm terrified of my aloneness as God. Which I had glimpses into many times before. 

[RMQualtrough]

@Someone here If you suffered from derealization I'd suggest you ought to stay far away from these things.

[Godishere]

@Someone here well speaking of non-duality.

I can guarantee you one thing, your not awake. 

Just being honest.

It sounds like you are lacking in ego maturity/stability of mind. These things can be genetic obviously; we are not all wired the same. For example, I find the oneness and solipsism of the universe beautiful and devine.  I'm 30 now and to be honest I wouldn't of handled truth well a decade ago. I'm not sure how old you are but seriously consider working on other parts of life for a few years. 

Edited July 5, 2021 by Godishere

[allislove]

@Someone here

Jim Newman is great, but I do not recommend Jim Newman in your case bro, just my 2 cents. And yes, if it feels like taking the well-deserved break from spirituality do that. 

[Breakingthewall]

It is quite shocking and even terrifying to see that everything you thought was your life was a mirage, but no more terrifying than knowing that in the near future you will get sick and die slowly in a hospital to disappear as if you and the world had never existed. Everybody accept the second option, so is quite irrational be so scared of the first one

[Someone here]

11 minutes ago, RMQualtrough said:

@Someone here If you suffered from derealization I'd suggest you ought to stay far away from these things.

Yep I already stopped watching to Leo for a while after noticing that his videos starting to make me feel depressed and solipsistic. 

[Godishere]

@Breakingthewall  ditto. Its compete liberation. There's nothing to do apart from enjoy the seasons of life. What's wrong with just being anyway.  

 

[Someone here]

43 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@Someone here well speaking of non-duality.

I can guarantee you one thing, your not awake

 

I had  glimpses. But awakening doesn't stick. It is an experience that comes and goes. Not a state of being. 

[Nahm]

@Someone here

Unification feelings amazing. Wether it’s the tiniest insightful collapse or the Armageddon, the feeling is Amazing. Mystical, majestic, to-good-to-be-possible-amazing. Alignment feels amazing… wether it’s one single realized preference, or a ‘major’ insight, or a reality busting Revelation... the feeling is amazing. Conceptualization… not so much. 

“You have to let it all go Neo. Fear, doubt, and disbelief. Free your mind.”

Stop adding to the conceptualization. Start letting what doesn’t resonate, go. Does not matter what you’ve heard or who you’ve heard it from. Listen to feeling instead. 

The intention to be the philosophical knower, the one who knows relative to others, was bound to conceptually collapse. Better now than decades from now, wasting much time in concept. The intention to create the life you most desire, and share the awareness you are unabashedly, pure joy. 

[ivankiss]

Your realization/awakening is half-baked. That's why things seem scary, threatening and empty in a negative sense.

Work hard to flush all that nihilism down the toilet. Balance your realization of 'no-thing' with joy, fulfilment, purpose, passion. Without those; you'll be stuck in no-man's land. Consumed by endless meaninglessness. 

Start creating the life you wanna live. Claim full ownership. Take full responsibility.

Step into your power. Into The Light.

[Breakingthewall]

39 minutes ago, Godishere said:

@Breakingthewall  ditto. Its compete liberation. There's nothing to do apart from enjoy the seasons of life. What's wrong with just being anyway.  

 

True, although when reading your post a little voice told me: yes yes, enjoy, but the important thing is to deepen and understand reality. the ego in one of its facets. never shut up

[Eternal Unity]

@ivankiss ?

[Gesundheit2]

@Someone here Hey buddy, I know it might feel tough right now but it will get better. What you're describing sounds like derealization disorder, which is nothing to worry about but definitely something to be aware of. You are not dreaming, and everything you're experiencing is not false, either. You are the one who is experiencing the state that feels like a dream. And you are the one who is experiencing the thoughts and fear of things being false. Rest assured that none of your fears is real. And that everything else is.

[Someone here]

@Nahm @ivankiss

Thanks. 

Would you give me more practical advice. Like how do I go about getting out of this nihilistic phase. Also how to  deal with solipsism specifically. 

I already decided to stop watching Leo. As his videos are so much loaded with concepts and it actually makes me more confused than ever. Is this the right move? 

 

Edited July 5, 2021 by Someone here

[nistake]

@Someone here I'd consider watching the episode of nihilism. He tackles this very issue that you're describing.