How can I love my Father/Dad better ?

[Preety_India]

I love my Father a lot. Although I lost him many years ago and I couldn't recover from the grief even after many years.

He was the most important person in my life.

Today I ask myself-

How can I love him better ?

 

 

[Preety_India]

This is a heavily personal journal 

The only reason I never ended killing myself even after multiple suicide attempts throughout my life was because my Dad never wanted me to give up hope.

He told me to be strong 

 

I remember him every day.

 

[Preety_India]

 

• I love my Dad
• I love myself 
• I love God/Allah/Hinduism/Christianity
• I love Art 
• I love Spirituality
• I love Aatma

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

3 key concepts.

• Art can transcend the boundaries of evil and the vulture phenomenon. Art has to survive industry
• Emotional Responsibility - see what you can do to systematically solve a situation rather than reacting and crying . Why don't you be technical, scientific and stoic ? See what can be done to help yourself without being too emotional. Instead of losing hope and shutting down why don't see Meaningful Love and Greater Love
•  How can I love my Father better ?
• How can I show bravery ?
• How can show love to a Creator?
• How can I show love as an Artist ?

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

1 minute ago, Preety_India said:

I have to survive for art, God, my dad and SKB(meaningful love)

 

 

I love my Dad

I love myself 

I love God/Allah/Hinduism(Shiva)/Christianity

I love Art 

I love Spirituality

I love Aatma

I love SKB

 

[Preety_India]

You were a pathetic bitch in my life who abused my Dad.

 

 

God will never forgive you and I hope you rot in hell 

 

You were an abuser. He didn't do shit to you

 

Because of you I got into abusive relationships

 

Because of you I could never be normal

 

His corpse is still in my head haunting me for the rest of my life

 

And you bitch you better pay the price

 

 

All your manipulations and lies

 

I hope you never get peace

 

This is my heart speaking

 

My soul will never rest in peace until I die

 

Because of this gift of eternal pain you gave me

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I will never recover from the Guilt that I could not save my father from your vicious abuse.

 

I hope you never live 

You can't kill someone and live happily

 

 

[Preety_India]

I miss you dad.

Maybe one day I'll be able to do justice to you.

 

You needed peace and respect that you never got.

 

I will always remember how much you loved me.

We had great times together.

When I die, I will think of you. Maybe I'll meet you one day again and we can hang out on the beach.

You won't have to worry about what's hurting you.

You always wanted me to be fine but after your death, I was never fine.

Your death had a huge impact on me.

Because you were my greatest role model, friend and guide.

You always worried about me.

Deep down we both shared the same pain.

You're in my heart.

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I could never process your death.

I was just a kid.

 

I didn't know what was going on

I just knew being in full shock and not being able to understand that you left.

 

It created a lot of resentment in me that I couldn't help you live longer.

It created a lot of pain that I couldn't stop the abuse you were being put through.

I couldn't save you and this guilt haunts me.

But when I die, it will all become equal .

We will be one in spirit.

You won't miss me.

Don't cry.

One day this pain will go away.

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Hopefully one day God will take away my pain and yours.