How do you make the interaction man to woman while at the same time being authentic?

[SamC]

Last friday I continued my pick up journey and went out and approached 5 girls. 2 said they had a bf and 3 gave me their snap/ number. ALL OF THEM FLAKED. 

It's really fucking discouraging, especially because it felt like I did a much better job this time and all of them seemed to " like me" and appreciate me talking to them. I also stated that I was there to take them out and not be their "friend" while stated that I found them attractive.  I went home as a king and thought I had figured out and become a natural but Noooo, I had not.

2 unfriended/blocked me, one right after I had left and one after I sent a snapchat to her and the other one just didn't reply. I think one problem surely lies in my messages coming off as to needy but I think my main issue was that I was friendly - AND NOT Seductive. I didn't make the conversation flirty/created the masculine polarity which honestly fucking scares me because I don't feel like I I can create that.

I am a pretty feminie dude, kinda scared, insecure but at the same time a master at making people like me and playing a role. That has been my strategy - which I for a second thought would ignite the path for pussy to me but no, I need to learn how to become more masculine while at the same time being me.

But how do you do that? I think I have that power hidden somewhere underneath but how do I relese it - the right way? How do I find my masculine power that is authentic to me? Leo said one way is to go fuck some girls but I am not there yet. Like that's where I want to go but how do I even get there XDXD,  Leo?

@Leo Gura

 

 

Edited July 4, 2021 by SamC

[LastThursday]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

Last friday I continued my pick up journey and went out and approached 5 girls.

Five is too small a sample size to make any firm conclusions from. Take a deep breath and try 100 (not in a day!). If 100 flake then you have to change something. On the other hand, if you try anything 100 times you'll get much better at it. Practice, practice, practice and patience.

[SamC]

@LastThursday

43 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Five is too small a sample size to make any firm conclusions from. Take a deep breath and try 100 (not in a day!). If 100 flake then you have to change something. On the other hand, if you try anything 100 times you'll get much better at it. Practice, practice, practice and patience.

 

Thanks for the encouragement man. The beginning face is really challenging and rough - with a lot of self-doubts. I appreciate your support and advice. Maybe I make to quick conclusions.

Edited July 4, 2021 by SamC

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

created the masculine polarity which honestly fucking scares me because I don't feel like I I can create that.

Oh boy have I been there. And let's face it, sometimes I still feel that way.

Yes, a lot of practice.

Also - insecurity comes from somewhere. Early childhood experiences probably played a role. Or highschool experiences. People are not insecure by default - they get traumatized and then decide that they don't want to risk ever feeling that way again - insecurity is created as a defense mechanism to keep you away from people. This is an unconscious process. I did a week of Primal Therapy and felt a lot more manly afterwards. Got laid a lot too. It's already inside you, but processing some stuck emotions can bring it out.

Also - raise your testosterone by not jerking off for 4 weeks. Watch your voice get lower and your social skills become more effortless. This would be the easiest 'hack' to create more masculine polarity quickly. Women respond to it really well - they can sense you have a deeper presence.

Edited July 4, 2021 by flowboy

[SamC]

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

Oh boy have I been there. And let's face it, sometimes I still feel that way.

Yes, a lot of practice.

Also - insecurity comes from somewhere. Early childhood experiences probably played a role. Or highschool experiences. People are not insecure by default - they get traumatized and then decide that they don't want to risk ever feeling that way again - insecurity is created as a defense mechanism to keep you away from people. This is an unconscious process. I did a week of Primal Therapy and felt a lot more manly afterwards. Got laid a lot too. It's already inside you, but processing some stuck emotions can bring it out.

Yeah I am slowly but surely converting into trying primal therapy. 3 more threads and I'll be there XDXD

4 hours ago, flowboy said:

Also - raise your testosterone by not jerking off for 4 weeks. Watch your voice get lower and your social skills become more effortless. This would be the easiest 'hack' to create more masculine polarity quickly. Women respond to it really well - they can sense you have a deeper presence.

I'll try it lol

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, SamC said:

Yeah I am slowly but surely converting into trying primal therapy. 3 more threads and I'll be there XDXD

@flume When you get back from yours, if it worked for you, will you help convert this man too??

[savingmylove]

21 hours ago, SamC said:

I am a pretty feminie dude, kinda scared, insecure but at the same time a master at making people like me and playing a role. That has been my strategy - which I for a second thought would ignite the path for pussy to me but no, I need to learn how to become more masculine while at the same time being me.

Huh. Well, women right now are becoming more sophisticated and discerning when it comes to relationships. I think they can sense if the guy is just in it for the sex or for relationship. I'm not saying that what you're going for is wrong; it's just that women can really see through the facade we build in front of them.

[flume]

5 hours ago, flowboy said:

@flume When you get back from yours, if it worked for you, will you help convert this man too??

*frantically puts together video outline*

[SamC]

2 hours ago, savingmylove said:

Huh. Well, women right now are becoming more sophisticated and discerning when it comes to relationships. I think they can sense if the guy is just in it for the sex or for relationship. I'm not saying that what you're going for is wrong; it's just that women can really see through the facade we build in front of them.

I don't buy that. If you create attraction some girls will be up for it. Especially if you frame it in a light hearted way so that both can discover if they like eachoter and then take it from there.

@Leo Gura

Edited July 5, 2021 by SamC

[Kshantivadin]

On 7/4/2021 at 5:53 PM, SamC said:

I also stated that I was there to take them out and not be their "friend" while stated that I found them attractive. 

too explicit. i think anyone and everyone would flake like this. practice subtler forms of communication.

a frame that has to be overtly asserted is a weak frame.

what did u write in your messages? how much time passed between saying bye and sending them the messages?

[SamC]

57 minutes ago, Kshantivadin said:

too explicit. i think anyone and everyone would flake like this. practice subtler forms of communication.

@Kshantivadin Yeah..

Any tips on how I can develop this? What should I say instead? Any good video/ recorder you know.

Quote

a frame that has to be overtly asserted is a weak frame.

what did u write in your messages? how much time passed between saying bye and sending them the messages?

I cringe at my self but I'm gonna share it anyway eventhough I am scared.

I said to one.

" Nice to meet you last night, awsome that you like psychology aswell - I like that. Are you adventurous ?"

"And to the other one: hey, Sam here ( the super charming boy that you meet in town the other day)? wazzup, what's happening?"

"And something along the line " Hi Marxsist? nice talking to you yesterday. Me and my friend are going to take a drink at XXXX. wanna join us?"

The third girl ( third message) blocked me right after I added her on snap after we had had a long convo. She was there with her friend. She joked that she was a marxsist and we connected really well.

I think I was to explicit and needy. The same with the other 2. I sent message 1 and 2  one day after and message 3 two days after.

Side note: in 2 of the approches the girls friends complimented me on being charming and that they felt safe around me and that I had a nice "open energy but again.. that's not seductive energy. What's your experience with this? ( what's " seductive energy"?)

Is that IT or is that just me being friendly and charismatic in a normal platonic way?

 

Edited July 6, 2021 by SamC

[Kshantivadin]

 

6 minutes ago, SamC said:

@Kshantivadin Yeah..

Any tips on how I can develop this? What should I say instead? Any good video/ recorder you know.

I cringe at my self but I'm gonna share it anyway eventhough I am scared.

I said to one.

" Nice to meet you last night, awsome that you like psychology aswell - I like that. Are you adventurous ?"

"And to the other one: hey, Sam here ( the super charming boy that you meet in town the other day)? wazzup, what's happening?"

"And something along the line " Hi Marxsist? nice talking to you yesterday. Me and my friend are going to take a drink at XXXX. wanna join us?"

The third girl ( third message) blocked me right after I added her on snap after we had had a long convo. She was there with her friend. She joked that she was a marxsist and we connected really well.

I think I was to explicit and needy. The same with the other 2. I sent message 1 and 2  one day after and message 3 two days after.

Side note: in 2 of the approches the girls friends complimented me on being charming and that they felt safe around me and that I had a nice "open energy but again.. that's not seductive energy. What's your experience with this? ( what's " seductive energy"?)

Is that IT or is that just me being friendly and charismatic in a normal platonic way?

 

Did they say not seductive energy? or is that your interpretation?

I'm gonna let someone else comment the texts you sent. Good that you made a gap between messaging.

Todd V is a goldmine and the only quality dating coach that I know of at the moment. Any specific problem you have, he probably has a video on it. 

Your body language should be telling all of the things you "stated". You have the balls to approach a girl. That separates you from most men - and is not that common of an occurence during the day. In my culture it's still not a common thing so for a lot of girls I've approached I'm their first - why the fuck would you need to state that you're not there to be their "friend" - if you're attracted to them it will ooze from you. 

Commenting that you find them attractive might work subtly and as an opener but is de facto giving your power away and-or maybe killing sexual tension.

Best of luck in your endeavours.

[SamC]

57 minutes ago, dflores321 said:

Not much experience on my end here. 

But I suspect it's on a vibrational level. 

For example sometimes in a female to male interaction something clicks. It's like I know deep down that I'm horny and in tune with the girl and she gets the unspoken message. 

I can see how that can work XDXD

[Axiomatic]

go to the club for some relaxing and dancing 

[JonasVE12]

Learn to ground & push tension with women while being emotionally/energetically embodied. Are you reactive/nice guy type? Or rather shut down and numbed out? Your conversation content does not attract woman. It's all about the underlying embodiment & how connected you are to your own emotions and if you can express them unobstructed. Practice grounding out energy while talking & looking straight and slightly penetrative into a womans eyes. Grounding out means letting go of muscle tension and visualising/feeling energy move down from your spine. Like lightning that grounds out in the earth. This lets go of nervous energy and self referential thinking. Then you can feel your heart region while talking & grounding. While feeling & talking, reach for her heart as well. You'll feel that she'll respond differently instantly. It's very instinctual. Push the tension and if you notice she feels safe and receptive, connect to your pelvis and really feel this region while you talk to her. Find something about her that you can enjoy. Locate that feeling in the area of your turn-on (pelvis). You'll consciously have to do this proces first until you become embodied and it becomes natural. At the point of feeling your turn on while looking into her eyes, you know if she likes you or not. At that point, there might be extended eye contact and you just see it in her facial expression if she is attracted. Her pupils dilate. And once you become grounded and embodied, you can easily feel her emotions as well.

[Etherial Cat]

@SamC

You are on the good path. The process is just a lot of trial and error. It will get better as you gain experience.

How fast did you try to contact them after you got their number? 

[SamC]

1 hour ago, Etherial Cat said:

@SamC

You are on the good path. The process is just a lot of trial and error. It will get better as you gain experience.

How fast did you try to contact them after you got their number? 

@Etherial CatThanks Cat! This was really nice that you wanted to encourge me. It's healing becuase many times it feels like Woman despise men for doing pick up which makes many men feel really missunderstood. ( Just like you girls do when we guys project our own judgement about or femine side onto you.) It means more then you can think!

I texted them two of them the day after and the third 2 days after!

 

Edited July 7, 2021 by SamC

[Etherial Cat]

Just now, SamC said:

Thanks Cat! This was really nice that you wanted to encourge me. It's healing becuase many times it feels like Woman despise men for doing pick up which makes many men feel really missunderstood. ( Just like you girls already do when we project our own judgement onto you.) It means more then you can think!

I texted them two of them the day after and the third 2 days after!

 

Oh, you are welcome. It's all heartfelt.

There are plenty of types of pick up.

Pick up can be giving tips on how to take chances and approach women in a way that are objectively great advices... but it can also be mixed with toxic ideologies and misconceptions about women. And there are some recurring traps to fall into as well. A lot of time, women talk negatively about the later.

I heard "Models" by Mark Manson is a great book for healthy pick-up. But I also see pick up like the tiny wheels people add to a bike before you can cycle mostly on your own. What it gives you is an idea of what are working patterns. And then you've got to get a sense for why it works that way. 

Patterns depends on several factors. It's mostly the dance between the Divine Masculine and Divine Feminine. What you've got to do is always behave like a man who loves himself and loves women as well.

That said, in our current social context, there are a lot of poor pattern being displayed both by male and females and you've got to be weary of that. A lot of the current pick up artists/men confuse current societal patterns in women as being how women always function. And this is dangerous because they then confuse it with reality and attract only what they see. And it acts as a confirmation bias. So beware of that.

25 minutes ago, SamC said:

I texted them two of them the day after and the third 2 days after!

 

Sounds fair to me. Keep going.

The mindset to have is to tell yourself that all the ones who are rejecting you are not a match. And that they are missing out on a great guy. Their loss. 

Work on your LP, on being healthy, on self-help. Become so interesting they won't be able to ignore you in the future! But don't do that for them, do it for yourself. It will work eventually.

[peanutspathtotruth]

2 hours ago, JonasVE12 said:

Learn to ground & push tension with women while being emotionally/energetically embodied. Are you reactive/nice guy type? Or rather shut down and numbed out? Your conversation content does not attract woman. It's all about the underlying embodiment & how connected you are to your own emotions and if you can express them unobstructed. Practice grounding out energy while talking & looking straight and slightly penetrative into a womans eyes. Grounding out means letting go of muscle tension and visualising/feeling energy move down from your spine. Like lightning that grounds out in the earth. This lets go of nervous energy and self referential thinking. Then you can feel your heart region while talking & grounding. While feeling & talking, reach for her heart as well. You'll feel that she'll respond differently instantly. It's very instinctual. Push the tension and if you notice she feels safe and receptive, connect to your pelvis and really feel this region while you talk to her. Find something about her that you can enjoy. Locate that feeling in the area of your turn-on (pelvis). You'll consciously have to do this proces first until you become embodied and it becomes natural. At the point of feeling your turn on while looking into her eyes, you know if she likes you or not. At that point, there might be extended eye contact and you just see it in her facial expression if she is attracted. Her pupils dilate. And once you become grounded and embodied, you can easily feel her emotions as well.

This right here, really good advice! I read something similar from Deida and it's been the most direct, embodied, authentic way of being and interacting with women. 

[RendHeaven]

2 hours ago, Etherial Cat said:

they are missing out on a great guy. Their loss. 

Work on your LP, on being healthy, on self-help. Become so interesting they won't be able to ignore you in the future! But don't do that for them, do it for yourself. It will work eventually.

^