I don't really want to do anything.

[roopepa]

Don't mind me just letting some steam out:

I don't actually care if I go to school or have a job. I don't want to study some stupid shit they teach at schools. (Not all of it is stupid, but you know what I mean.) I don't even want to have a job, really.

I'm almost 23 yrs old and the system (and my parents) really wants me to do what people are supposed to do: go to school or at least have some kind of a job. But I don't want that, and I myself don't really care.

The only reason I'm even having stress about this is because of my parents. They are so eager to see me become a 'normal' adult, and I would feel bad to hurt them. I understand why they want this, and I understand why the system/society needs me to become a normal working guy, but I just can't identify with it on a deeper emotional/value level.

To be as honest as I can, all I really want is to chill out in some beautiful place and philosophize myself out of my mind. And maybe have a girlfriend and some friends in general to philosophize with. I don't want money or fame. I just want a beautiful place to hang out. That's really the only material thing I want. Maybe some clothes too, and food. And a place to piss and shit. And internet.

I know that if I really wanted that, I could live on welfare at least a few years. Maybe I could even go homeless or something. I don't know.

I just want to be free. And I want this freedom to be effortless. All this hardcore spirituality - self development - money making stuff just feels so fucking hollow and hard. There must be an easier way. I can't accept the idea that this world is some kind of a workplace. Jeez.

[Yarco]

How long has the feeling of not caring about anything gone on for? Has it been for years straight, or do you go through periods where you get motivated to do stuff for a while, and then slip back into not caring?

Do you feel like you could be depressed, or are you happy with a life of not striving and just think you've got drastically different priorities than most people?

[roopepa]

@Yarco 

I've had this kind of experience since childhood. I went to school and had hobbies (sports and such) but it never felt like my "true expression". I basically never did homework nor actually deeply enjoyed my hobbies. I played baseball and such mostly because I thought "it just is what it is" and my parents wanted it. Sometimes I may have some motivation, but deep inside I feel like it's really not what I want to do. All motives kind of feel more like a shadow on a wall rather than "real"...

I actually have a depression diagnosis, but mostly I think it's simply due to the fact that many of my thoughts / values don't fit the surroundings (my family, the society etc.) so I often feel quite lonely and disconnected from people and life.

And that's the weird thing... I am kind of happy not striving! I sense some kind of a truth here. Life must be more simple than that. The only problem seems to be that this trait of mine don't seem to fit the surrounding world.

Edited July 2, 2021 by roopepa

[supremeyingyang]

@roopepa

for whatever its good: i felt the same at your age (I'm 30), took some years off and it turned out to be great for me - even though everyone thought i would only slack off... this was the time to start deeply thinking for myself;)

 

Edited July 3, 2021 by supremeyingyang

[Bob Seeker]

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with being fat, or with being an addict, just like there’s nothing wrong with living broke.

 Just know that you CAN have money just like a fat person CAN lost weight. So look into it, Envision what it would be like to have more money and what would be possible. Don’t assume that you don’t want it just because it takes effort. Maybe you will choose to live Broke or maybe you will choose to earn more money. 
 

there’s also a third approach I see, which is that while you are living broke for 2 years or so you could put in the first 1000 hours of your passion work and maybe emerge with a viable life purpose skill that you can use to make money in an enjoyable way once you decide you want more money.

Edited July 3, 2021 by Bob Seeker

[Nahm]

The easier way is letting go, not doing. Letting go of beliefs, primarily that how you feel is caused by what other people think. Then, focus upon what you want is revealed to have been effortless all along... and it is seen that what you were focusing on, was what other their people think. Which didn’t jive with direct experience, because you never actually experienced it. That’s how ‘deep’ your beliefs are. That’s how much effortlessness stands to be uncovered. For God’s sake my good man, lay claim to your own life. 

[flowboy]

@roopepa  Does this lifestyle attract you?

 

[UDT]

Monks are disciplined.

 

You want a beautiful place and food but you see this is already a high level item.

Soo you're not gonna get it until you've done something for it.

 

News flash: everyone wants a beautiful place and food haha.

 

So yea have you checked for heavy metals in your brain? 

Sounds a little like you are drinking tap water and smoking hill Billy weed with practices to me 

[savingmylove]

Right off the bat, I applaud your bravery for being able to admit what you really desire. In this world, it is really hard to escape the capitalist system. The next hard thing to do is to practice the art of letting go. I have also struggled with this before (because I want to control everything) until I reached my breaking point of not finding satisfaction in my life. I explored some philosophical belief systems and stumbled on Taoism and how they practice the art of letting go. Hope the video below gives you a brief introduction of the philosophy.

 the u