I can't stand being alone

[Gabith]

I need to indulge myself here because you always deliver the best advice.

Right now I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't stand being alone at home anymore, it's like I'm in a prison.
I don't even want to listen to music, meditate or read a book like I used to enjoy when I was alone.

I feel the need to see new people or just be with people/friends, to go out, to have new experiences.
I know it's bad because there will still be days when I have to be home alone (that's +- 3 evenings a week these days).

I did make a few decisions to evolve, move and see people. I signed up for a martial arts class but it's only twice a week. I don't have enough money to add a yoga class or any other activity that I would like to do in addition.
Otherwise during the day I do street interviews and I'm thinking of doing them at least twice a week instead of once.  I see friends from time to time.

But there is this emptiness that has been created, as soon as I find myself alone I can't stand it anymore and I turn in circles in my house.
I don't know what to do because although I am adding new activities to my life to meet people, to evolve and to avoid being alone often. I know that it is inevitable and that there will always be a few nights a month when I will be alone.

And to think that I used to enjoy it, I used to sit down in front of a movie, a book or music and I enjoyed the calm and the solitude... I don't know why I became like this but I feel that I'm evolving, I had a lot of mystical experiences this year, I love myself and the others more and I see the reality in a more "meta" way

You could help me, do you understand?

[ertopolice]

i DO REALLY feel the same sometimes and it's been hard lately than i'm on a holiday. Yeah...off from work but due to my lack of previous social circle i feel SO lonely. 

I really encourage you to take the martial arts classes! i really enjoyed it at the time but now i cannot risk an injury. Otherwise i'd definitely enroll again to meet people. 

 

I enjoyed time alone, readings, meditation...but currently does not work!!! i got some friends to hang out with but i feel out of pace with them tbh. I can fake it and all but i do not enjoy it. I realized i feel jealous about them because they got some other social circles and also partners and i do not.

Any tips on activities i'd welcome...

[flowboy]

 

Some people are just social animals and they need to see people often.

But if seeing people often isn't enough, and the need for socializing as a distraction becomes high, then perhaps it's better to "go through it", confront the fear and see what happens. What is the terrible thing that socializing would be a distraction from?

[universe]

Plenty of things to do:

True Growth

You can outgrow your inability to be alone. This means changing yourself so much, that you won't even bother thinking about the whole issue anymore. It means letting go of the self that is attached to having these feelings. That thinks it needs others and that is identified with having this problem.

It can also help to release the need for company. That means welcoming the feeling of loneliness and emptiness. And then letting that feeling go as well. You can do the 2 Steps I described in my post here.

Aligning yourself with Truth

Meditation, psychedelics... there are many ways to increase consciousness. As you ground yourself more and more in Truth you may find out that you were always alone your whole entire life... or that you where never alone, ever!

It doesn't really matter. Because as you dive nose deep into consciousness you also dive deep into Love. And feelings of bliss, joy and gratitude will soon be sharing the space with the loneliness you feel right now.

Fake Growth

Aka the practical stuff. Meeting more people, changing your lifestyle in a way that you will have enough company to feel happy. You are already doing this right now with the martial arts class. I'd suggest activities that are more about getting to know other people, instead of getting to know a sport. For example you could join a community or club that aligns with your interests (personal development, spirituality, yoga, meditation, finances, toastmasters... whatever).

Basically a group of people that are open and meet to talk about something. Or they do an acitvity and then later on stay to talk about it. Speaker events often are like this. You sit for a few hours and listen to a talk, then later you can discuss the topic with the group. Meetups or networking events just to name a few more.

While Fake Growth is not the best way, it's definitely better than doing nothing. Just fake it 'til you make it

[Snuitje]

On 1-7-2021 at 9:06 PM, Gabith said:

Right now I feel like I'm going crazy, I can't stand being alone at home anymore, it's like I'm in a prison.
I don't even want to listen to music, meditate or read a book like I used to enjoy when I was alone.

Why is it like a prison? What changed in your life? When was the transition from being a home to a prison?

On 1-7-2021 at 9:06 PM, Gabith said:

I did make a few decisions to evolve, move and see people. I signed up for a martial arts class but it's only twice a week. I don't have enough money to add a yoga class or any other activity that I would like to do in addition.

Otherwise during the day I do street interviews and I'm thinking of doing them at least twice a week instead of once.  I see friends from time to time.

Why did you sign up for a martial art sport? What is it about it that made you do this?

Why do you also want to add yoga to the mix?

On 1-7-2021 at 9:06 PM, Gabith said:

But there is this emptiness that has been created, as soon as I find myself alone I can't stand it anymore and I turn in circles in my house.

I don't know what to do because although I am adding new activities to my life to meet people, to evolve and to avoid being alone often. I know that it is inevitable and that there will always be a few nights a month when I will be alone.

Why do you turn circles in your house when you feel you're alone (can you go deeper then blame this on emptiness?)? When was the first time you felt this emptiness emerge? What changed in your life when this emptiness emerged?

Can you answer these questions?

Edited July 2, 2021 by Snuitje

[DIDego]

@Gabith Hi ??

I dont know where you are, maybe this feels crystal clear already or not resonate at all and your struggle is about something else?

Writing this to you, is also for my own sake, training my self be open about this and as an reminder, maybe also can be helpful for you?

 

A couple of months ago i was ready try learn more about chakras, ahaa moment to start learn about 2:nd chakra, some calls it for sexual energy and also creativity energy.

 

If you ask me, there is something to open, nurture, learn elevate and find balance, that is named chakras or energy points and whatever, here stems some or maybe all problems to be able enjoy life fully.

Gently learn how to enjoy life with balance between creativity and sexual energy, who knows, there might are possible sometimes to combine.. ?

Unbalance/blockages, can emptiness be connected with chakras for you?

I struggle express in english and writing so i let these links and people below, take it over from there.

https://chopra.com/articles/learn-about-your-seven-chakras-and-how-to-keep-them-in-balance

Free https://isha.sadhguru.org/uk/en/yoga-meditation/yoga-program-for-beginners/yoga-videos

Depending where you live, notice there is sometimes Eu/Us/Global pages. 

Free https://www.ishayoga.eu/index.php/live-webinars/

Free https://isha.sadhguru.org/us/en/yoga-meditation/isha-yoga-online-offerings

There are much material for free on site and YT, if you resonate and feels comfortable with the old wise man, that tries distill wisdom into language, that hopefully people can decode wherever they are in their life's journey.

 

Example also what can cause trouble.

 

 

Edited July 2, 2021 by DIDego