How to stay aware that you are aware

[Joelvs]

Hey Everybody, 

 

I observed something in me for quite a while now. After rereading untethered soul, it really clicked in me that I have this place within me which is invulnerable , behind all thoughts. And that I can always return to this place. And since then I managed to do that on a much more frequent rate than before.  But I feel like it takes up huge amounts of energy and concentration. I mean, the energy of the ego is so damn strong. And I am meditating since well 3 years and I guess part of the answere to this is more training and always dropping back. But what I also feel is that it isnt always enough to just be aware of the breath, because then I am somehow still aware as my ego of the breath. So I really need to get beyond my ego to feel the peacefulness of the pure awareness. Its just that it seems like a huge struggle to find this place. I observe also a lot of times, that I am trying to get to that place by concepts, like imaging that the voice talking in my head is somebody sitting next to me, but off course doing that with each thought is taking up a lot of energy as well. 

Some thoughts on that, if you get what I mean. It is not that easy to express, I noticed. 

[Mason Riggle]

“There was a young man who said though,
it seems that I know that I know,
but what I would like to see is the I that knows me
when I know that I know that I know.” - Alan Watts

 

11 minutes ago, Joelvs said:

I observed something in me for quite a while now.

There is no 'you' who 'observed'.    The 'observation', along with every other experience is 'who you are'.  'You' are literally 'everything else that you don't think is you'.  It's your hands, your clothes, the sounds you are hearing, this sentence, your memories, the air.. whatever 'your experience is' that's who you are. 

 

11 minutes ago, Joelvs said:

So I really need to get beyond my ego to feel the peacefulness of the pure awareness

'You' can't get beyond your ego, because you are your ego.  

It helps my organism to stop being so neurotic when it remembers that it functions automatically.. that is to say, my organism IS itself, effortlessly.  Consider.. how hard are you trying to 'be yourself' right now?  Not at all.. it's effortless.  You are understanding my words without trying. You are growing your hair without trying. Thoughts of a reply are arising without trying.   The thought can arise - all this is happening, and no one is 'doing it', everything happens all by itself. 

"What you mistake to be the thinker of thoughts, is just more thought occurring now." - Sam Harris. 

Edited June 30, 2021 by Mason Riggle

[WelcometoReality]

@Joelvs At first there is alot of identification to thought and feeling and we tend to get back into the identification fast in the beginning. What's important to point out is that the thing that's struggling to get back into pure awareness is the identification because it is the struggle. You already are pure awareness and going back into that place is effortless once you Let go of the struggle. It's like relaxing into an armchair, how much effort does that take?

[Joelvs]

@Mason Riggle I get and its just that it is not very practical right now. I see that I am my ego and every thought. But you got to start somewhere I guess, and right now the concept of me just being effortlessly everything doesn't seem to click on a deeper level. So the disidentification from thought is something that gives me more peace and tranquility then being lost in it. I think, maybe that's just  another illusion of the I

[Mason Riggle]

@Joelvs perhaps consider that you (however you think of yourself, as an individual, or as everything) are being how you are, not 'doing' what you're doing. 

The same way a tree just IS being a tree, and never tries to do that. 

You are something that happens, not something that 'causes itself to happen'. 

[gettoefl]

all one gotta do is watch the show unfolding, that is all god does ... a good pointer for me is the word "receive" ... go about your day receiving the marvels all around, the only mistakes possible are the moments of being self conscious that is me injecting my phony self into the picture

[Mason Riggle]

@gettoefl the appearance of ego isn't a mistake. It happens. 

Even when God pretends it isn't what it is, that's what it is. 

[gettoefl]

26 minutes ago, Mason Riggle said:

@gettoefl the appearance of ego isn't a mistake. It happens. 

Even when God pretends it isn't what it is, that's what it is. 

yes if it happens it is certainly part of the script but it does not need to be repeated, suffering is not necessary

fool me once shame on me fool me twice shame on god

Edited July 1, 2021 by gettoefl

[Mason Riggle]

@gettoefl everything that occurs is necessary. Perfect even. 

There is no particular way reality 'should be' other than exactly how it is.  To think reality should be other than how it is, is to suffer from the suffering.

[KaRzual]

2 hours ago, Mason Riggle said:

@gettoefl everything that occurs is necessary. Perfect even. 

There is no particular way reality 'should be' other than exactly how it is.  To think reality should be other than how it is, is to suffer from the suffering.

Beautiful words 

[Nahm]

How to stay aware that you are aware?

By not staying. 

[Joelvs]

@Nahm haha love that!