Being more attractive

[Gabith]

I am 28 years old, I have been very insecure for 26 years. However I did sreet interviews 2 years and every year I still managed to date 1 to 3 girls a year but it was nothing serious or it lasted very little time. Also I didn't really like the girls, I went with them because I was needy. And ended up in toxic relationships

Now I have evolved a lot after a breakup, I have more confidence in myself and I finally love myself. I've started street interviews again but I've never been a good flirt and I'm uncomfortable if I feel that the girl attracts me. I don't feel very attractive even though I like myself and think I'm average.

I was wondering what I can do to become attractive to women?
I see a lot of them because I do street interviews so sometimes I talk a little bit with the girl after the interview if I see that she is interested in me and what I do. But when the girl in front of me is pretty, even if she congratulates me for what I do or asks me questions, there is this internal dialogue of "I don't think she can like me because she's too pretty" "she must be interested in better looking/charismatic guys" "she must have so many guys around her that I don't have a chance" this kind of thoughts, and I believe it unfortunately.
 However I love myself, much more than a year ago, I love my personality more than before, it's just that I'm a bit too thin and I'd like to gain weight but it's very difficult, I've been trying to gain weight for years and unless I do something violent every day by eating a lot, I don't have any results. And if I eat less only one or two days, I lose 1 kilo directly!

So what would be the best techniques / things to do to become more attractive to women?

[universe]

Shadow work. Work on releasing your needs via the Sedona Method.

You don't need to find yourself attractive to flirt. Just have fun and if you act surprised when she says she is flirting with you it's even better.

"No I wasn't flirting with you" (while you flirt heavily) *smile*

"But you seem cool anyways, let's meet again"
She : "Wow cool, ok sure!"

You : "Ok what's your number?"

And then continue not flirting with her

[LastThursday]

4 hours ago, Gabith said:

I was wondering what I can do to become attractive to women?

Play the high value game.

Some women are visual, so dress well, dress like you have money, impeccably, everything fits properly, no stains or dirt. Get a haircut, the style is irrelevant, the more quirky the better. No bad smells, get rid of them. You need some sort of hook in your appearance, something that can be a talking point: hats are good, or unusual colours, maybe a bright yellow shirt, whatever. A lot of women are attracted to novelty, make yourself stand out from the crowd. I like to call it peacocking. Carry yourself as if it's the most normal thing in the world to wear green trousers and a daffodil in your back pocket, it doesn't matter. It's all about novelty and confidence.

Talk like you know what you're doing at all times (you should). You are in complete control: if X happens you do Y, if A happens you do B. Everything is planned. Any hesitation or being flustered will hurt the attraction. Most adults are just grown up children, given the chance they like to be led and told what to do (mostly). The women shouldn't have to think too hard at all in your presence.

Make and maintain direct eye contact only looking away occasionally. There should be intent in your gaze: you are signalling your attraction. This can be threatening, so smile and laugh plenty. Talk plenty. You should be able to carry the conversation. Practise by talking to yourself in the mirror for ten minutes, whatever. Tell stories, tell jokes, talk about their appearance, just keep going. You need a certain momentum and energy to appear attractive.

You need to be completely present and aware of your surroundings. All your attention is outward, none of it inward, or on your mobile phone. Any self-talk ideally should be completely absent. Meditate regularly to calm the mind. Learn to kill the monkey mind. Any negative thoughts are immediately betrayed in your facial expressions and body language. With practise this will make you appear calm and confident and focused. Attraction is not about you, it's about them and their impression of you.

If a women is not attracted to you, and she is not receptive, then say "thank you" and graciously move on.

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

30 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Play the high value game.

Some women are visual, so dress well, dress like you have money, impeccably, everything fits properly, no stains or dirt. Get a haircut, the style is irrelevant, the more quirky the better. No bad smells, get rid of them. You need some sort of hook in your appearance, something that can be a talking point: hats are good, or unusual colours, maybe a bright yellow shirt, whatever. A lot of women are attracted to novelty, make yourself stand out from the crowd. I like to call it peacocking. Carry yourself as if it's the most normal thing in the world to wear green trousers and a daffodil in your back pocket, it doesn't matter. It's all about novelty and confidence.

Talk like you know what you're doing at all times (you should). You are in complete control: if X happens you do Y, if A happens you do B. Everything is planned. Any hesitation or being flustered will hurt the attraction. Most adults are just grown up children, given the chance they like to be led and told what to do (mostly). The women shouldn't have to think too hard at all in your presence.

Make and maintain direct eye contact only looking away occasionally. There should be intent in your gaze: you are signalling your attraction. This can be threatening, so smile and laugh plenty. Talk plenty. You should be able to carry the conversation. Practise by talking to yourself in the mirror for ten minutes, whatever. Tell stories, tell jokes, talk about their appearance, just keep going. You need a certain momentum and energy to appear attractive.

You need to be completely present and aware of your surroundings. All your attention is outward, none of it inward, or on your mobile phone. Any self-talk ideally should be completely absent. Meditate regularly to calm the mind. Learn to kill the monkey mind. Any negative thoughts are immediately betrayed in your facial expressions and body language. With practise this will make you appear calm and confident and focused. Attraction is not about you, it's about them and their impression of you.

If a women is not attracted to you, and she is not receptive, then say "thank you" and graciously move on.

 

 

 

 

Some gentlemanly old style romance.

You must be a gentleman!

If nobody paid you that compliment, then let me pay it.

 

Can't find a fault in a man like you

 

Edited July 1, 2021 by Preety_India

[Nahm]

In your direct experience there is only the present, and a thought arises about there being twenty eight years. Attempt to point to that which you’re claiming, that there is or are ‘twenty eight years’, and it will be noticed that is exactly as it appears… a thought. It seems true if you keep saying & believing it. It’s clear it’s a thought, when you no longer say & believe it. 

If you don’t feel you are attracting what you desire, tell the story of having it. Then you will. There is no other possibility. 

[Growly]

I can give you some surgery recommendation if you let me rate your face.

Don't gain too much fat unless you have a boneless face then you can but if you have good bone structure then dont lose weight cuz you'll lose your attractiveness. so simple right yay.

[LastThursday]

@Preety_India compliment gratefully received 

[Gabith]

@LastThursday  Thank you. I already dress well but I let my hair grow, I want long hair. I don't know if I'm ready to cut my hair just to attract more women. I will attract women anyway even with long hair I guess.

I have a lot of work I will apply what you say

About talking plenty are you sure ? I've read a lot of time that the less you talk and the more you let the other person talk about her, the more she will feel good because she sense that I'm interested and listening to her without monopolizing the conversation.

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, Gabith said:

About talking plenty are you sure ? I've read a lot of time that the less you talk and the more you let the other person talk about her, the more she will feel good because she sense that I'm interested and listening to her without monopolizing the conversation.

It's more nuanced than "you have to talk a lot" or "you have to let her talk a lot".

You have to be willing to carry the conversation if she doesn't have a lot to say (yet).

You should not be talking over her or not listening to what she has to say. Be interested in what she has to say and really listen and respond to it.

It's really good to leave some pauses and let her fill them, inviting her to contribute to the conversation, and making her feel invested.

But if nothing comes up, take responsibility for the conversation, carry it, and lead it.

Also don't be afraid to cut her off and change topic when you feel like that would be in both of your best interests. Otherwise she might end up talking about some very boring topic, feel bored and then blame you for letting the conversation become boring. So dare to lead it when needed. You are responsible for the whole of the interaction, not just your part.

 

Edited July 1, 2021 by flowboy

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Gabith said:

About talking plenty are you sure ? I've read a lot of time that the less you talk and the more you let the other person talk about her, the more she will feel good because she sense that I'm interested and listening to her without monopolizing the conversation.

This is absolutely not true. From my private experience, the guy was the one who always led conversations. Girls like a guy who can lead..I never liked shy guys who can never talk. Because there was nothing to admire the guy for. 

Step up your game. Become interesting. Discuss anything with the girl and lead her into thinking interesting ideas. Stimulate her intellectually.

Once you stimulate her intellectually then start stimulating her sexually which means say cute but sexual(in a coy way not dirty way) to her , keep going on with the seduction and flirting.

Getting a girl's sexual attention is a hard job. I don't feel sexual unless the guy is saying something sexy. 

Now touching is a different thing. It can come across as aggresive and desperate (fuck boy vibes) so no need to engage in that but you can be romantic /sexual(light) in language 

Moral of the story - your dick should be in her head 24/7. Then she is stimulated enough to look at you and want you inside her 

Learn to step up.

 

[LastThursday]

14 minutes ago, flowboy said:

But if nothing comes up, take responsibility for the conversation, carry it, and lead it.

You put it better than I did.

@Gabith it takes practice to be able to lead and you should always be ready for it. If the women wants to talk, of course let her.

1 hour ago, Gabith said:

Thank you. I already dress well but I let my hair grow, I want long hair.

Good, own it, display the hair for all the world to see. Being confident and self assured is more important than appearance every time. Appearance is just the icing on the cake.