Why are guys so desperate

[Karmadhi]

I notcied within my circle and people i interact with that when it comes to dating guys have legit 0 standards. They are willing to get and settle for anything they can get and basically give all their power to women just to get something. I understand you should not be super picky but at least have common basic values and things you screen the other person on. Quite sad.

[Strangeloop]

Those guys are desperate because the only way they gonna get any girl is to put themselves down and put the girl on the pedestal. That's how they think. First they have to realize that there is no actual girl that is "superior" in any way than they are. Ofcourse there's a trap of going superior yourself for too long and being an asshole with the girl but for the most part girls are attracted to assholes. Even if it hurts them. Unless they realised they don't want to be hurt so they reject the asshole and continue the search of the "nice" guy. 

[Preety_India]

Because they are loaded with testosterone. 

When the brain is loaded with that, it gets water logged and then it's ready for every female.

This is the design of nature that no amount of objective thinking can change.

When the horniness reaches 7th heaven, nobody can stop a raging Bull or a lioness in heat.

This is how powerful sex is. It destroys all brains and boundaries.

 

 

[Michael569]

Survival & reproduction, everything else is just a mask for society. 

If you are trying to suppress 2 million ears of evolution you're gonna have a bad time 

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India Very true however a lot of them do not just want to fuck, they more than that want to feel loved and cared for by someone. Guys often will not admit it due to pride however deep down what they seek even more than sex is love, affection and human warmth. 

[Preety_India]

2 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India Very true however a lot of them do not just want to fuck, they more than that want to feel loved and cared for by someone. Guys often will not admit it due to pride however deep down what they seek even more than sex is love, affection and human warmth. 

You can't be too sure about it.

Some part of sex is Emotional. Some part of sex is animalstic and raw desire.

Imagine there are two buttons placed in front of you and on top it's written sex in big letters. 

Now one button says Emotional and the other button says Animalistic/lust.

For some people they will click the first button because it resonates with them, whereas for others they will click the second button.

For Some people, the preferable option is to click both buttons. Because they want both out of sex.

What a person desires out of sex is what they want out of it and this is highly variable. It's not constant.

For example, for a horny teen, they might simply want the pleasure and experience of sex and they would be more likely to engage in casual sex for a one time experience because they want to know how it feels. Here thet arent LOOKING for emotional attachment, warmth or affection,just raw sex.

Whereas someone who is into serious relationship,might want to consider emotional aspects of sex like physical attachment, affection, fondness, intimacy, warmth etc.

People who only want sex are comfortable having sex with total strangers because they only want raw sexual pleasure 

People who can't have sex with total strangers are probably looking for something deeper and emotionally stimulating.

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

18 minutes ago, Karmadhi said:

@Preety_India Very true however a lot of them do not just want to fuck, they more than that want to feel loved and cared for by someone. Guys often will not admit it due to pride however deep down what they seek even more than sex is love, affection and human warmth. 

People who are more desperate or appear so are just more horny and there can be many reasons for this horniness.

It can be straight up biological, raging hormones through their brains making them want sex really bad. This depends a lot on their hormonal constitution which varies from person to person. 

Only people with raging hormones can understand how badly they want sex. Society tends to shame and demonize such people. So they have to control themselves. 

If right now you're injected with a huge dose of hormones, you will keep thinking about sex all the time and become quite desperate to get anyone that you can get 

You have to be grateful if you haven't experienced that state of horniness because the desperation can drive you crazy.

So I would say have compassion for those who are desperate. They're poor creatures struggling to control themselves.

Also desperation is irrespective of gender 

 

They are teen girls who get desperate for sex and  have  sex with some neighborhood guy (who could be total asshole ) and end up getting pregnant.

Desperation is seen in both men and women.

In women it's kinda less because society tends to shame and repress women from being too open about their sexual desires.

If a woman acted desperate she is met with judgements like " you're being a whore," "have some self respect," "you don't have self esteem," "you're so desperate for men," "you're a bimbo," "don't have sex with some random dude," "your sexual desires are not healthy," "you're being shameless".....the list goes on and on.

When women are shamed in that manner if they are desperate to get the Dick in their mouths, that's where women learn that expressing such desires is taboo or shameful and they begin to repress themselves and over time it becomes a general precedent that a woman should never act too desperate or horny for men otherwise she is being a whore 

Men however aren't shamed this way.

There is no whore equivalent for men.

Often men are praised and considered manly if they have strong sexual desires and they are even complimented if they hunt down many women in the bedroom 

 

 

Edited June 29, 2021 by Preety_India

[Bando]

Dating for the average guy is already difficult, add the fact that most people in society aren't even "average" you get desperate men with a scarcity mindset

[petar8p]

https://youtu.be/qwy_F1eC83g

[Karmadhi]

@Preety_India You are right. However i have met a lot of guys that need more emotional connection and love than pure sex. Depends on people i guess.

[Preety_India]

@Karmadhi of course I agree with you, both kinds exist.

 

[Jacob Morres]

 

10 hours ago, Bando said:

Dating for the average guy is already difficult, add the fact that most people in society aren't even "average" you get desperate men with a scarcity mindset

I think it also has to do with men doing the chasing and women being chased. 

The dynamic gives women more options than men because it takes much more effort to put yourself out there. It's like a natural abundance versus scarcity. 

That dynamic that defaults to scarcity I think causes limiting beliefs in men which then causes the problems u relayed

I think it can be way more nuanced than what I mentioned ofc but this feels like an important piece 

Edited June 30, 2021 by Jacob Morres

[LastThursday]

17 hours ago, Karmadhi said:

They are willing to get and settle for anything they can get and basically give all their power to women just to get something.

Guys are desperate because there is actual scarcity.

The scarcity is set up because women won't just sleep with every man that approaches them. Biologically this makes complete sense. Women are the ones who get pregnant and carry children.  Biologically, the endgame of sex is reproduction; creating a child and then looking after it until it's self sufficient is a huge challenge which the mother takes on. For a man, he's free to wander off after sex and not give a damn. So a woman has to be really really sure the man will stick around long enough to help out or at least that he has very good genes. Also pregnancy and child rearing is a hugely risky process and can even be life threatening (even nowadays).

I would say all of that biology is mostly unconsciously programmed into men and women. Men want to sleep around as much as possible, because there is scarcity created by the huge burden on women by having children. Effectively, men and women have completely different strategies for reproduction.

Edited June 30, 2021 by LastThursday

[Eternity]

@LastThursday

38 minutes ago, LastThursday said:

Guys are desperate because there is actual scarcity.

The scarcity is set up because women won't just sleep with every man that approaches them. Biologically this makes complete sense. Women are the ones who get pregnant and carry children.  Biologically, the endgame of sex is reproduction; creating a child and then looking after it until it's self sufficient is a huge challenge which the mother takes on. For a man, he's free to wander off after sex and not give a damn. So a woman has to be really really sure the man will stick around long enough to help out or at least that he has very good genes. Also pregnancy and child rearing is a hugely risky process and can even be life threatening (even nowadays).

I would say all of that biology is mostly unconsciously programmed into men and women. Men want to sleep around as much as possible, because there is scarcity created by the huge burden on women by having children. Effectively, men and women have completely different strategies for reproduction.

This.

[LastThursday]

@Gesundheit2 absolutely.

As I say, women are also interested in men having good genes (a.k.a. high value). If you know your man is just going to pump and dump, then at the very least you want to make sure he's a good investment. In practicality good genetics are expressed in a number of ways: ability to show physical fitness and strength; ability to handle themselves in any situation; intelligence; compassion and caring and so on. In fact any trait that increases the likelihood that your potential child will survive to adulthood and that will confer genetic advantage to that child.

In actuality, traits like intelligence and good looks, are only secondary indicators of underlying good genetics. So being handsome in itself is useless for helping your child, but it is definitely a sign of good genetics. 

The "market" just rides on the back of these markers of good genetics: the dapper dresser; the strong caring type; the asshole etc.

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, LastThursday said:

The "market" just rides on the back of these markers of good genetics: the dapper dresser; the strong caring type; the asshole etc.

Yep this one. I am attracted to all those.

Agree.

[Jacob Morres]

@LastThursday would you say this applies because i don't think OP is talking about sex

[LastThursday]

On 29/06/2021 at 5:01 PM, Karmadhi said:

give all their power to women just to get something.

Maybe the OP can elaborate? Get what?

[Karmadhi]

@LastThursday @Jacob Morres I am not talking about pure sex here. I am talking about relationships. Guys these days can easily get pure sex via prostitutes, if you really want to “bust a nut” you can do it easily. The idea is not for pure sex but for the whole emotional thing of a relationship. Cuddles, hang holding, being loved and desired by someone, feeling like a lovable human being, making someone else happy, growing with someone etc. Basically a relationship, it includes sec ofc but not just that. Why guys are willing to settle for basically ANY girl that shows ANY interest in them and have 0 standards when girls meanwhile have quite high standards and only will settle with a high value guy. Why dont men also have standards especially decent guys. I know plenty of guys that were quite fine that were quite willing to date anything. 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Karmadhi said:

@LastThursday @Jacob Morres I am not talking about pure sex here. I am talking about relationships. Guys these days can easily get pure sex via prostitutes, if you really want to “bust a nut” you can do it easily. The idea is not for pure sex but for the whole emotional thing of a relationship. Cuddles, hang holding, being loved and desired by someone, feeling like a lovable human being, making someone else happy, growing with someone etc. Basically a relationship, it includes sec ofc but not just that. Why guys are willing to settle for basically ANY girl that shows ANY interest in them and have 0 standards when girls meanwhile have quite high standards and only will settle with a high value guy. Why dont men also have standards especially decent guys. I know plenty of guys that were quite fine that were quite willing to date anything. 

Because high standards will further reduce their chances of getting a girl in an already scarce environment

I'm sure if guys were being chased by millions of girls every year, they would start having high standards too.