Just Watched The Life Purpose Course Advertisement. Now I'm Sad.

[DimmedBulb]

There's a story in the beginning about Leo's mom wasting away her potential that I just see myself going towards if I don't change things. I'm afraid that I'll have done nothing with my life. I know that shouldn't matter and that external rewards can't bring sustainable happiness, but I long for achievement. I just don't know what to do. I spent all day in my room today doing nothing. I just binged on some show I barely like. I feel like a zombie. It doesn't help I listened to a song that gets me down every time I listen to it. Where do I go? What can I learn from this situation?

Edited November 15, 2016 by DimmedBulb

[Bizarre]

21 minutes ago, DimmedBulb said:

There's a story in the beginning about Leo's mom wasting away her potential that I just see myself going towards if I don't change things. I'm afraid that I'll have done nothing with my life. I know that shouldn't matter and that external rewards can't bring sustainable happiness, but I long for achievement. I just don't know what to do. I spent all day in my room today doing nothing. I just binged on some show I barely like. I feel like a zombie. It doesn't help I listened to a song that gets me down every time I listen to it. Where do I go? What can I learn from this situation?

Let's analyze this for a moment. 

Where did you get this notion of "potential"?

Do you think you might just have bought into it, like people have bought into commercialism and materialism?

Another industry selling you things you don't need?

The reason you long for achievement is because you believe in "potential".

Can you see the double bind you put yourself in here with this personal development stuff?

The people who are "successful" at certain things are successful because that is their role here in life, it's natural for them. The lie is that it can be repackaged and sold to suckers who think that they can also be like their heroes and "fulfill their potential".

How do you know Leo isn't just living in reaction to his childhood wounds? Because I don't see a guy reaching his"potential". I see a guy stuck at home with his head in books trying to learn everything he can to escape his childhood. 

Can't you be happy with what you got? Understand that you are unique in this life, and that what you are doing (if it feels good) is what you're supposed to be doing with your life?

Which is the real lie here? 

The fact that you are who you are and that's fine?

Or your conditioning that there is something wrong with you, and because of that you now find yourself here in this forum in pain, and lost and confused?

Ever investigated onto what is actually going on here?

Edited November 15, 2016 by Bizarre

[DimmedBulb]

19 minutes ago, Bizarre said:

Let's analyze this for a moment. 

Where did you get this notion of "potential"?

Do you think you might just have bought into it, like people have bought into commercialism and materialism?

Another industry selling you things you don't need?

The reason you long for achievement is because you believe in "potential".

Can you see the double bind you put yourself in here with this personal development stuff?

The people who are "successful" at certain things are successful because that is their role here in life, it's natural for them. The lie is that it can be repackaged and sold to suckers who think that they can also be like their heroes and "fulfill their potential".

How do you know Leo isn't just living in reaction to his childhood wounds? Because I don't see a guy reaching his"potential". I see a guy stuck at home with his head in books trying to learn everything he can to escape his childhood. 

Can't you be happy with what you got? Understand that you are unique in this life, and that what you are doing (if it feels good) is what you're supposed to be doing with your life?

Which is the real lie here? 

The fact that you are who you are and that's fine?

Or your conditioning that there is something wrong with you, and because of that you now find yourself here in this forum in pain, and lost and confused?

Ever investigated onto what is actually going on here?

I think I'm having a reaction to the preconceived notion that a good result makes a happy person. I've had that since I was born. Just being obsessed with being good enough and being in so much pain when I wasn't. I've been trying to observe it objectively for a bit, but it's really getting to me right now.

I just don't wanna be sitting here doing nothing anymore. It's like being on a diet and eating straight grease just to avoid going somewhere. And grease doesn't even taste good. It's like poisoning myself.

I was outside earlier today for the first time in a week and I just felt so good. I want that more often. I just don't for some reason. At the same time I see people go to the moon and other amazing stuff and I'm thinking: why am I not that? I'm not envious at the things I don't want, so I guess there's some desire there, but at the same time, I'm not gravitated towards any of it.

I see the magnitude of life and i just freak out. 

I just listened to some sad music and I just went bonkers basically. My bad.

Edited November 15, 2016 by DimmedBulb

[Bizarre]

@DimmedBulb
The results are not upto you. Never have been. When you understand that you can relax. 

 

[DimmedBulb]

1 minute ago, Bizarre said:

@DimmedBulb
The results are not upto you. Never have been. When you understand that you can relax. 

That kind of makes things worse...

[Bizarre]

Just now, DimmedBulb said:

That kind of makes things worse...

Ha. That's because you might be under the wrong impression about what this life is about?

What's wrong with acting and not expecting a result?

That's what you want. You don't want the potential. You want the freedom from feeling trapped. Trapped by circumstances..

Is that not true?

 

[DimmedBulb]

@Bizarre I tend to think in terms of worth, measured in results. That's my default.

 

3 minutes ago, Bizarre said:

You don't want the potential. You want the freedom from feeling trapped. Trapped by circumstances..

Is that not true?

Well, that would mean result would matter, right?

[Bizarre]

Let's analyze this. You said you were observing it objectively. Maybe not objectively enough. Sometimes you need help seeing what's true about this motivation..

Think about what you really really want, and why you want these things.

Do you want the results for the result itself?

Or do you want the result to ESCAPE the limitation you feel by not achieving a result?

Contemplate that..

[DimmedBulb]

1 minute ago, Bizarre said:

Do you want the results for the result itself?

Or do you want the result to ESCAPE the limitation you feel by not achieving a result?

Both.

2 minutes ago, Bizarre said:

Think about what you really really want, and why you want these things.

I'm extremely unclear on that. I guess I just want to be good at something, feel good enough. I've taken profession tests, personality tests, all that stuff and nothing clear ever came out. Basically: you like everything and nothing.

[Bizarre]

2 minutes ago, DimmedBulb said:

Both.

I'm extremely unclear on that. I guess I just want to be good at something, feel good enough. I've taken profession tests, personality tests, all that stuff and nothing clear ever came out. Basically: you like everything and nothing.

Ok. So you want the results AND to feel good enough . I'll give you that. 

Think about this. Did the last result you scored give you the happiness you're seeking by going after that thing?

The content of the wants don't matter much for this inquiry. What matters most is we look at what's going on inside, the motives. 

 

 

[DimmedBulb]

@Bizarre I'd say that it did at that moment, but I barely remember the last time I got a desirable result.

[Bizarre]

@DimmedBulb

If the result seemed to give you happiness at the time. Then what happened to the happiness?

If the result was supposed to contain that happiness, then why did the happiness fade after you got the result?

This is an inquiry. Stay with it.

[DimmedBulb]

@Bizarre Maybe it wasn't important, though that could just be because it was something minor or unimportant to me. I wouldn't call making dinner particularly amazing for instance. Then again, there are so many other things I haven't done that it completely outweighs it after the initial high runs out.

[Bizarre]

1 minute ago, DimmedBulb said:

@Bizarre Maybe it wasn't important, though that could just be because it was something minor or unimportant to me. I wouldn't call making dinner particularly amazing for instance. Then again, there are so many other things I haven't done that it completely outweighs it after the initial high runs out.

Can I suggest that the result didn't make you happy for long, because it's not actually "things" that make us happy.

Think about this:

Where is happiness coming from? The objects (results, experiences, relationships) 

Or

Does happiness come from the subject? You?

(I appreciate you know this on some level, but what were doing here is getting to another level to fix it).?

 

[DimmedBulb]

@Bizarre Happiness, to my understanding at least, is the reaction to external events, so it comes from a subject. Not everyone can be pleased with 1 million dollars.

[Bizarre]

Just now, DimmedBulb said:

@Bizarre Happiness, to my understanding at least, is the reaction to external events, so it comes from a subject. Not everyone can be pleased with 1 million dollars.

Exactly..

So why are you going for the objects, when you know damn well that happiness is your nature?

Why are you not just going for happiness directly?

It doesn't feel like happiness is your nature when you're full of desire, rumination or regret. 

But that's because you ain't been told that your nature is happiness itself. 

Think about this. Really think about it.

 

[DimmedBulb]

@Bizarre Desperation twists perception. I just don't wanna feel like I'm feeling right now anymore. And then I look and see all the bad things I went through and all the good things others have. It saddens me, while I know that in theory that stuff doesn't matter. The way to actually be happy requires work and I just don't do the work. I don't meditate, even though that's good for me. I don't go out, even though that's good for me. I don't know why. Calling myself lazy doesn't help either. This is pretty difficult.

[Bizarre]

1 minute ago, DimmedBulb said:

@Bizarre Desperation twists perception. 

Yes, I agree. Desire is painful and is a major obstacle. At least you're conscious enough to see this, because most are not.

2 minutes ago, DimmedBulb said:

And then I look and see all the bad things I went through and all the good things others have

You can undo this kind of thinking. I haven't tried the life purpose course, I admit that, but from what I see of Leo's work, I assume it's all about becoming the next Tony Robins lol. But I have a tool you can use now to combat this, and it's just noticing how you feel, accepting it, stepping back, and applying an attitude of gratitude to life. These thoughts are not you, they are just programmed by you because of your past actions. So you can interrupt them and insert this gratitude practice.

5 minutes ago, DimmedBulb said:

@BizarreThe way to actually be happy requires work and I just don't do the work. 

That's the problem. It doesn't require work in the sense that you must manufacture happiness. You just need to understand something. And use the tool I gave you. Meditation you can forget about. It's ok for enlightenment, and has some health benefits, but you can meditate just by chilling and arriving for a moment. Then remember to offer thanks for what you have right now.

I think if you can do these two small things you will get some "results" not just in terms of happiness but in terms of real results because of the confidence you will have.

I admit, if you don't meditate now, how you going to complete this life course? Is it like another new year resolution? Good intentions? Start small. Then move onto the course when you mastered the basics 

[Bizarre]

@DimmedBulb In my opinion Leo is a little bit naughty in the way he presents this stuff. 

Like it's all tremendously hard slog out of the dark dungeon of the stone age into the light of high consciousness 70 years later ,...

Emerging as a fucking Buddah on a golden cloud with a staff made of every esoteric superpower ...

Blah blah

You get the picture?

It's not hard to be happy and content 90% of the time. It just requires a few better habits and a bit of understanding that youre already happy and confident and that all this seeking is the problem

[DimmedBulb]

11 minutes ago, Bizarre said:

These thoughts are not you, they are just programmed by you because of your past actions.

I've read some of Tolle's work, so I recognize that concept.

 

12 minutes ago, Bizarre said:

just noticing how you feel, accepting it, stepping back, and applying an attitude of gratitude to life

I'll try to remember that.

 

14 minutes ago, Bizarre said:

I admit, if you don't meditate now, how you going to complete this life course? Is it like another new year resolution? Good intentions?

Think of it more as a cry for help.

Meditation is hard. I barely can focus for longer than 3 minutes on something.