Sex Diary

[Peter Miklis]

50 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

She deserves a good man.

The only thing women in your stories deserve is good ass spanking? and possibly handcuffs

[Hulia]

36 minutes ago, fopylo said:

 

@ivankiss
Man I've been reading some of your latest ones and my dick is just so hard and I go into fantasy world lol.

You're a fucking sex God. I wish I had sex like you (still a virgin)

He is a fucking poet. Learn to play with the mind and you´ll become a sex God too, or just God. 

[ivankiss]

38 minutes ago, fopylo said:

You're a fucking sex God. 

I've been called that before, yes 

Thanks, I'm really glad you enjoyed reading. Wishing you some nice bedroom action soon!

@Peter Miklis Haha, cannot argue with that. But it's not that simple. Getting a girl to completely surrender herself to you is a form of art.

You could easily end up being 'that creepy guy'.

[Peter Miklis]

3 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

 

@Peter Miklis Haha, cannot argue with that. But it's not that simple. Getting a girl to completely surrender herself to you is a form of art.

You could easily end up being 'that creepy guy'.

True.

[Zeroguy]

@ivankiss I can understand women commenting but guys?! 

Svako dobro! 

[Peter Miklis]

17 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

@ivankiss I can understand women commenting but guys?! 

There are guys out there who enjoy watching their wifes/gfs getting fucked? cuckolds they are called? you simply can't make this shit up

[Zeroguy]

7 minutes ago, Peter Miklis said:

There are guys out there who enjoy watching their wifes/gfs getting fucked? cuckolds they are called? you simply can't make this shit up

Time to add that to dreamboard.

[Zeroguy]

@Peter Miklis There is swinger "community " if I can call it like hat here where I live but this I never saw because it's rare does it.

[Peter Miklis]

@Zeroguy yeah there are supposedly swinger parties in all of the big cities, but I've never seen one? they always do that in secret I suppose

[Zeroguy]

1 minute ago, Peter Miklis said:

@Zeroguy yeah there are supposedly swinger parties in all of the big cities, but I've never seen one? they always do that in secret I suppose

Yes it is secret. That's why community. You can find them "scouting" too. 

Unfortunately don't really have gf for those stuff. Lucky me. 

[Hulia]

36 minutes ago, Zeroguy said:

@Peter Miklis There is swinger "community " if I can call it like hat here where I live but this I never saw because it's rare does it.

I read about it in a novel (forgot the title) of Michel Houellebecq. About a guy who liked younger girls, and was addicted to sex in general. And when a woman of his age fell for him, they spent time in swinger community, where she pushed to him younger girls to make him happy. Not that I enjoyed reading, but it was quite an unusual perspective. And sad.

"Atomised" was the title

Edited July 8, 2021 by Hulia

[ivankiss]

1 hour ago, Peter Miklis said:

There are supposedly swinger parties in all of the big cities, but I've never seen one

I know a guy 

Been invited to a small, private party like that, not so long ago. But I rejected. Not my style.

[ivankiss]

1 hour ago, Hulia said:

I read about it in a novel (forgot the title) of Michel Houellebecq. About a guy who liked younger girls, and was addicted to sex in general. And when a woman of his age fell for him, they spent time in swinger community, where she pushed to him younger girls to make him happy. Not that I enjoyed reading, but it was quite an unusual perspective. And sad.

"Atomised" was the title

That sounds interesting. Somewhat scary and disgusting, too. But also cool.

I never read a novel in my life lol. I'm not a big book guy. Apparently; I'm good at writing. God works in mysterious ways.

Regarding young girls; shit man, I think I've got some of that juice in me going on, too. It's kinda weird to admit, but it's true.

I'm not attracted to way too young girls. And I'm smart and conscious enough to handle that stuff when it arises in me and not act it out. But I definitely find myself being attracted to some 15,16,17 year old girls, sometimes... Can you blame the man though? Most girls at that age look at least 20. Sexually ripe and everything. Oozing with 'fuck me' vibes. While still having that flavour of innocence about them. 

Any man who says that's not turning them on is lying.

I'm a 27 year old dude who loves girls and sex. I wouldn't say I have an issue or a hardcore addiction. I did not have all that many sexual partners till now (30, or so) But...I've had a looot of sex. Like, really, really lot. Mostly with girls I've been dating.

Just with my most recent ex I had sex well over 1000 times. That's a lot of experience.

We've been together for cca 1300 days. Every goddamn day. 24 hours. From the very beginning. We spent a total of 3 days apart in nearly 4 years.

Can you say ' c o d e p e n d e c e ' haha!

Point is; we fucked a lot. 

I can see how I could easily develop a hardcore addiction if I spiral down into darkness. That's one of the reasons I'm doing this diary thing. To gain more awareness over things. To explore and express my sexuality in a healthy way. As healthy as I'm capable of at the time - at least.

So yeah, hmm, young girls... I think it has something to do with me not going full on with girls when I was that age. 15, 16...

I was in a relationship then. Did not cheat. I had sex with that girlfriend consistently. So my needs were met. I did not complain. Then I broke up with that gf and moved on to the next one. Repeating the same cycle. And then the next one...

So yeah, what I missed out on, was that whole 'running around with my dick up in the air and chasing young girls' experience. And now that I'm single and horny; I want to fuck everything that looks sexually ripe. Kinda sick, but what can ya do. I'm sure it's just the animal within me. Again; thankfully I can handle my shit and I do not approach girls that are younger than 18. Even that seems a bit too young. 19 and onwards sounds good to me. Green light.

This is actually the first time in my life that I'm fully committing to this. Picking up girls and sleeping around with them. Not settling for a relationship. It's kinda new too me, so yeah. I'm learning as I go - in a sense. On the other hand; it's way too easy and I'm totally rocking it. So much fun. 

My latest relationship made me realize I wanted to be single now. For quite some time. Exlplore and experience. A lot. With numerous partners. No strings attached. Only fun, pleasure, experience, memories.

Love.

But with a different kind of twist and flavour.

[ivankiss]

Just bought some epic handcuffs for J.

I'm kinda used to improvising always when it comes to trying a girls down... I love using a strong tape. Or a rope.

But handcuffs are kinda cool and fancy. I'm sure they will be put to great use.

[ivankiss]

Uh, oh. That went deep fast.

[ivankiss]

Oh, this is going to be so much fun...

 

[ivankiss]

Guys, I think you got me confused with someone else.

Clearly; Jonathan Davis is the Real God of Sex.

His music/lyrics are making nasty love to my ears.

Walking, waiting
Alone without a care
And Hoping, hating
Things that I can't bare
Did you think it's cool to walk right up
To take my life and fuck it up
Well, did you...?


I see hell in your eyes
Taken in by surprise
Touching you makes me feel alive
Touching you makes me die inside

[ivankiss]

I've slept so long without you
It's tearing me apart too
How'd it get this far?
Playing games with this cold heart
I've killed a million petty souls
But I couldn't kill you

I've slept so long without you

[ivankiss]

I'm over it

You see I'm falling in a vast abyss

Clouded by memories of the past

At last I see

 

I hear it fading, I can't speak it

Or else you will dig my grave

We feel them fighting, always whining

Take my hand now, be alive

 

You see I cannot be forsaken

Because I'm not the only one

We walk amongst you, feeding, raping

Must we hide from everyone?

 

I'm over it

Why can't we be together, embrace it?

Sleeping so long, taking off the mask

At last I see

 

My fear is fading, I can't speak it

Or else you will dig my grave

We feel them fighting, always whining

Take my hand now, be alive

You see I cannot be forsaken

Because I'm not the only one

We walk amongst you, feeding, raping

Must we hide from everyone?

[ivankiss]

In my deepest and darkest moments of pain, sorrow and hate... I listened to this song. Thinking about you.

Wallowing in thoughts about how you took my innocent, naive, all-loving heart and stabbed it when I least expected. When I loved you the deepest. The craziest. The sickest.

You knew you had me. Bravo! I must give it to you. You got me really damn good, baby. You are a master at your craft.

It was true when you know who told you that you're not a bad person... you just do bad things. I find that quite accurate.

I've seen your heart. I've dug through all those endless layers of shit and found your spark. I know you cannot deny that. But you sure tried as hard as you could.

I was grieving for the longest time. Grieving the fake version of you, that you pretended so well to be. Grieving the real version of you. That's right. Even that nasty, twisted bitch beneath the mask. And the hurt, little, innocent girl beneath that. I felt the loss deeply. I was also grieving the loss of my innocence. The guy I was before I met you. This friendly, open-harted, optimistic and full of life dude. He died. The day I cut contact with you.

It was painful beyond words, baby. But I let it consume me fully. I showed what I was made of. I stood my ground. I did not look away. And then; I was gone.

I also felt deep, deep pain for you. My poor, little soul. Life has not been gentle with you. You've seen enough. Been through enough. I truly empathize with all that. You know I do.

But I cannot let it poison me, any longer. I had to move on and realign with my highest calling. My truest mission. I hope you can forgive me. I trust you understand. You are a very smart girl.

So yeah...

Fuck you. For all the sick, twisted shit you dragged me through. Fuck you for all the lies. The manipulation. The devaluation. Demoralization. Madness. Hell. But also; I love The Light in you forever, and to that; I am forever grateful. Thank you for setting me free. Thank you for making me see just how fucked up and wounded I was, too. Thank you for keeping me company. Even if it wasn't the highest of the quality, most of the times. Thank you for blessing me with the gift of free will. Freedom of choice. The tone of my voice. The ability to stand up and leave in silence. To give up. To let go. To say 'NO' and mean it. To stand my ground. To transcend and outgrow. Thank you for revealing me my strength. My power. My will. My intelligence. My stupidity. My ignorance. My carelessness. My commitment. Dedication. Vision. Faith. 

Love.

But most importantly; Thank you for this wild, fun, epic, never-before-heard-of story. An epic saga. I am forever grateful for that.

It was, indeed, a movie. As we knew it would be, from the very beginning. We just did not think it would end in pain and betrayal. It was unimaginable. Unthinkable. To me - at least.

It was a dream. A nightmare. A story filled with horror and delight.

And it could have not happened without you, D. 

May you be happy and at peace, wherever you may roam. Hopefully; our paths do not cross anytime soon.

Farewell, my love.

There you were, my precious
Not long ago
Hiding behind the shadows
Of your broken soul

Why is it always
You want something you can never have?
Why did you try to tempt me?
How could you be this way?

Your throat I take grasp (can't you feel the pain?)
Then your eyes roll back (can't you feel the pain?)
Love racing (can't you feel the pain?)
Through my veins (can't you feel the pain?)

Your heart stops beating (can't you feel the pain?)
Black orgasms (yes, you feel the pain)
I kiss your (can't you feel the pain?)
Lifeless skin

There you were, my precious
With your broken soul
Rubbing my crotch elated
Taking control

Why is it always
You fuck up something you have always had?
Why'd you try to tempt me?
How could you be so cold?

Your throat I take grasp (can't you feel the pain?)
Then your eyes roll back (can't you feel the pain?)
Love racing (can't you feel the pain?)
Through my veins (yes, I need the pain)

Your heart stops beating (can't you feel the pain?)
Black orgasms (yes, you feel the pain)
I kiss your (can't you feel the pain?)
Lifeless skin

Here I am, just a man
Feeling pain, gives me life
Relieving yours is my plan
I'd do anything just to see through your eyes

Just to see through your eyes
Just to see through your eyes
Just to see through your eyes
Just to see through your eyes

I hate you, can't you feel the pain?
I hate you, can't you feel the pain?

I hate you, can't you feel the pain?
I hate you, yes, I need the pain
I hate you, can't you feel the pain?
I hate you

Your throat I take grasp (can't you feel the pain?)
Then your eyes roll back (can't you feel the pain?)
Love racing (can't you feel the pain?)
Through my veins (yes, you feel the pain)

Your heart stops beating (can't you feel the pain?)
Black orgasms (can't you feel the pain?)
I kiss your (yes, you feel the pain)
Lifeless skin (can't you feel the pain?)
Lifeless skin (can't you feel the pain?)
Lifeless skin (can't you feel the pain?)

 

 

 

P.S. - I nearly forgot...

Thanks for all the mind-blowing sex, too. And fuck you for the times when you were torturing me; walking around in our apartment naked, and not giving me any. That's just evil.

Fuck you, I love you. Bye.

Edited July 9, 2021 by ivankiss