Sex Diary

[WaveInTheOcean]

12 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Hulia There is nothing wrong with a relationship. And even less with feelings. I'm all for that.

It's just not the right timing. As I mentioned; I got out of a long and serious relationship not even a year ago. I also plan on leaving this country within the next year or so. I want to be free and travel the world. That's the mission I'm working on right now. So you see how a relationship would mess with that vision.

@WaveInTheOcean Thanks! I hear you. But I think you know damn well what I mean haha.

Yes, of course this is a form of a relationship already. But it's not a full blown sacred partnership lol. We don't live our lives for the same cause. We're not working together on building our dreams. We don't have a common goal or vision. Nothing outside of my bedroom. Just some great sext and awesome, long, late-night talks.

I only worry because I don't want to end up hurting her. She is such a kind-hearted, gentle soul. So pure. I'd hate to be 'that asshole' in this scenario.

Thankfully; we started all this with radical honesty. Nothing shady going on in the background. No lies. No manipulation. She's well aware of how I feel and think about all this. 

Great bro, yeah just had to be sure!:D

And indeed, clear and honest and good communication is key.

[Hulia]

12 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

It's just not the right timing. As I mentioned; I got out of a long and serious relationship not even a year ago. I also plan on leaving this country within the next year or so. I want to be free and travel the world. That's the mission I'm working on right now. So you see how a relationship would mess with that vision.

No I don´t. Relation is not a slavery. You can do all these thing while being in relationship. Maybe it will slowly extinguish in a natural way. Or maybe not. Who knows. But it would be a natural run of the things.

This artificial non-relatinship that you try to maintain is programmed to hurt.

[Hulia]

12 minutes ago, WaveInTheOcean said:

Great bro, yeah just had to be sure!:D

And indeed, clear and honest and good communication is key.

No. No. No. It´s not a key.  He writes "we started". Things have changed.

[Hulia]

The only difference which matters is to live together or separately. Moving together is really a serious step which requires deeper consideration.

But getting out of you bedroom , he? what is a problem? I don´t get it. 

[ivankiss]

@WaveInTheOcean Thanks!

@Hulia I think your view on my situation is heavily distorted, sorry. Might just be your own sexual frustration. I'm not sure. 

[WaveInTheOcean]

5 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@WaveInTheOcean Thanks!

@Hulia I think your view on my situation is heavily distorted, sorry. Might just be your own sexual frustration. I'm not sure. 

Careful, Hulia actually has a very valid perspective. But so do you, of course.

Truth is hidden somewhere in the middle.

Or of course, since it's YOUR life, only you know what is true for you.

But it's true, you can -- but takes a lot of effort ofc -- do all of the below things while still being in a (long distance ?) relationship.

"...I also plan on leaving this country within the next year or so. I want to be free and travel the world. That's the mission I'm working on right now".

Truly having a partner in life, girlfriend/boyfriend, can be a gift if both beings put 'themselves' first ('myself' start to include my partner).

If your partner truly loves you unconditionally, she wouldn't mind you leaving the country to pursue your dreams. She wouldn't mind your desire to sleep with other girls. She wouldn't mind you wanting to be free and travel the world. She would love you no matter what.

However, this unconditional true love, that I'm talkin bout here, IS *terrifying* to the ego.

Damn right terrifying.

[ivankiss]

@WaveInTheOcean Yeah, I'm not gonna do any of that long distance nonsense. I think that stuff is destined for failure.

But I hear ya. I'm sure it can be done. It's just not my cup of tea.

I want to be single now for a while. Simple as that. I'm more clear about my goals and visions that way. I have more time and space to take all the necessary steps. Also; I'm still not 100% healed from my previous relationship. It was quite an intense, traumatic experience. It left a mark.

Not jumping into anything too serious is the smart choice here. No doubt about it.

[Hulia]

10 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I'm still not 100% healed from my previous relationship. It was quite an intense, traumatic experience. It left a mark.

Well it makes sense - to wait up and do all the healing in one turn. Because what you are doing now will bring another unhealed relationship. 

31 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I think your view on my situation is heavily distorted, sorry. Might just be your own sexual frustration. I'm not sure. 

I highly appreciate what you did to this woman from a sexual point of view. But it´s not my thing. Too prepared, too much fuss about sex, too perfect. I am rather a spontaneous type - on the roof, in the elevator, in the sea (well it didn´t work good because we lughed too hard). But on the bed with red light - no, no , no.

 

[ivankiss]

@Hulia Cool. Thanks for adding your thoughts.

I'm all for spontaneous sex, too. I love doing it in public. Not in front of everyone's eyes of course, but in public nevertheless. And what I heard from her so far - she's into that kind of stuff too. I'm sure we'll experiment more in the future. This is just the very beginning. And I think we started out phenomenally.

[Hulia]

2 hours ago, ivankiss said:

We don't have a common goal or vision. Nothing outside of my bedroom

Ah ok.. then I am pacified. I thought nothing outside of bedroom.

Don´t forget to report here, I would be amused to read.

Do you think, it is necessary to have a common goal in a relationship? Even if you start with a common vision/goal, what if it changes for one of you? Such things happen.

[Michael569]

Damn man, I loved the second entry!

That was s a lot of detail for those of us blessed with vivid imagination  Happy for you to have found this beauty. But why not try to push it forward if it were to evolve into such?  Being in love does not necessarily destroy these experiences, if anything it intensifies them. And with that level of intense passion it would be surprising if you or her feelings don't start to mount up. 

Anyways, thanks for sharing, this was a pretty hot reading during my boring meeting at work

[ivankiss]

5 hours ago, Hulia said:

Don´t forget to report here, I would be amused to read.

Much more juiciness coming soon. I will do a short introduction of the other two FWB's I mentioned earlier. 'V' and 'K'. 

I think you'll like that. It's a far less romantic story. Fucking only. No love-making.

5 hours ago, Hulia said:

Do you think, it is necessary to have a common goal in a relationship? Even if you start with a common vision/goal, what if it changes for one of you? Such things happen.

I wouldn't say it's necessary, but it's desirable. At least to me, at this point in time.

I am a veteran when it comes to relationships. I learned my shit. Trust me; two people pulling in opposite directions is hell. Sure; that can be transcended. But what are the chances both parties are enlightened? It's just not realistic.

Bottom line is... I don't want any relationship now. Even if it's perfect. What's perfect for me now is exactly how I am right now. 

5 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Damn man, I loved the second entry!

That was s a lot of detail for those of us blessed with vivid imagination  

Haha! Happy for you! It was too good not to be shared. I'd explode if I tried to keep it to myself 

5 hours ago, Michael569 said:

But why not try to push it forward if it were to evolve into such?

I explained in detail the reasons why earlier. Not sure if you skipped it..

5 hours ago, Michael569 said:

Being in love does not necessarily destroy these experiences, if anything it intensifies them. And with that level of intense passion it would be surprising if you or her feelings don't start to mount up. 

I agree. I'm not trying to avoid feelings. I'm fully embracing those, already. As she is. 

I just want to avoid the whole relationship thingy. I want us both to be really fucking clear on our agreement. And keep reminding ourselves of it regularly. Otherwise we'll get lost in the intensity of our emotions and end up God knows where. 

[Hulia]

18 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I think you'll like that. It's a far less romantic story. Fucking only. No love-making.

I think I won´t

But report anyway. I am on the way of trying to understand men. Besides you writing style is good.  

[ivankiss]

27 minutes ago, Hulia said:

I think I won´t 

Thanks for killing that boner for me.

28 minutes ago, Hulia said:

But report anyway. I am on the way of trying to understand men. 

I'm on my way trying to understand myself. I think I understand women pretty good already.

28 minutes ago, Hulia said:

Besides you writing style is good.  

You're a master at push and pull, I see.

Thanks!

[cjoseph90]

congrats! I'm happy for you  it was very entertaining to red, even better that a Erotic novel. enjoy it

[ivankiss]

@cjoseph90 Wow, thanks, that's very kind of you.

I'm eager to see where the story goes. She's gonna be here any minute now.

Have a blast guys. I know I will 

[Etherial Cat]

Let's petition to rename Chad "Ivan".

[ivankiss]

@Etherial Cat  You're too kind. 

The night was epic as fuck. Can't wait to report 

[Roy]

On 6/29/2021 at 10:45 PM, Hulia said:

oh really? What a tragedy! Someone catches feeling! Terrible! It mustn´t be allowed, right? Prohibited! Forebidden!

How you feel about how relationships ought to work between men and women isn't the paragon of truth.

If @ivankiss and his friend don't want to enter a serious relationship and have boundaries about it, then that is their choice.

It doesn't make it "wrong" if one of them starts to feel different about things, it just isn't what they previously decided on.

[Hulia]

50 minutes ago, Roy said:

How you feel about how relationships ought to work between men and women isn't the paragon of truth.

:)))))) It´s exactly the opposite!! I  don´t have any feelings about relationships! Neither how they ought to work! No! Either you have a relationship or not. That´s all. Ivankiss HAS a relationship with that women, a relationship that he denys. And his denial will hurt, not his unwillingness of a relationship which is already established without his will. 

50 minutes ago, Roy said:

If @ivankiss and his friend don't want to enter a serious relationship and have boundaries about it, then that is their choice.

No choice. They have already entered a relationship. I have no idea what you mean under "serious".

Well where they have a choice is how to handle it. 

50 minutes ago, Roy said:

It doesn't make it "wrong" if one of them starts to feel different about things, it just isn't what they previously decided on.

Nothing is wrong, except of the attempt to decide about what you might feel or not feel. 

Edited July 1, 2021 by Hulia