Telling her about my no fap challenge

[StarStruck]

I'm currently doing no fan (monk mode) and I can't have sex.  

So we are into each other. We had couple of dates. She says I should come over next week. 

I'm afraid of this because I'm doing nofap and trying to heal my brain. In the past I told a girl about nofap and she freaked out. 

I need some advice on this hot 21 year old blonde girl. Because I'm afraid I will lose her if I gave her bad sex. 

I rather not have sex with her, completely my 30 day challenge and go from there. 

 

[flowboy]

I think practicing non-ejaculation / semen retention is a great idea. I do it.

However I think it's a mistake to think that you can't have sex.

You just need to learn to have sex without working towards ejaculation.

It's called tantric sex. I recommend you get into it, perhaps read a book or do a course.

Your girl will thank you because it will force you to have sex a lot slower and it can last for hours. So it's great for her.

And it may seem unsatisfying for you as a guy, but actually that is not true. Having very slow sex for hours is very satisfying and feels great.

Just make sure she's in on it, and agrees to help you not cum, by slowing down whenever you need.

Have a great time!

[Kshantivadin]

No sex in the first 90 days of reboot is usually advised because it's easy to slip back to fapping and watching porn after having sex (eg chaser effect). I don't think it matters - if you set your mind to quit then it will happen eventually.

[SamC]

22 hours ago, StarStruck said:

I'm currently doing no fan (monk mode) and I can't have sex.  

So we are into each other. We had couple of dates. She says I should come over next week. 

I'm afraid of this because I'm doing nofap and trying to heal my brain. In the past I told a girl about nofap and she freaked out. 

I need some advice on this hot 21 year old blonde girl. Because I'm afraid I will lose her if I gave her bad sex. 

I rather not have sex with her, completely my 30 day challenge and go from there. 

 

@StarStruck Just have sex bro. I mean what's the point of to even date when you're on celibacy munk mode? Let it go. Sex is okey - you wot die. What's the scariest thing about having sex with this girl? What will hapoen if you have sex?

Life is not all or nothing. You having sex one day will not fuck up your healing - in fact it might do the opposite.

 

 

Edited June 28, 2021 by SamC

[StarStruck]

37 minutes ago, SamC said:

@StarStruck Just have sex bro. I mean what's the point of to even date when you're on celibacy munk mode? Let it go. Sex is okey - you wot die. What's the scariest thing about having sex with this girl? What will hapoen if you have sex?

Life is not all or nothing. You having sex one day will not fuck up your healing - in fact it might do the opposite.

 

 

I'm afraid I won't be able to get hard because  I experience flat line where my libido just plummets. It is very random.

 

1 hour ago, Kshantivadin said:

No sex in the first 90 days of reboot is usually advised because it's easy to slip back to fapping and watching porn after having sex (eg chaser effect). I don't think it matters - if you set your mind to quit then it will happen eventually.

Yea, I definitely have that chaser effect.

21 hours ago, flowboy said:

I think practicing non-ejaculation / semen retention is a great idea. I do it.

However I think it's a mistake to think that you can't have sex.

You just need to learn to have sex without working towards ejaculation.

It's called tantric sex. I recommend you get into it, perhaps read a book or do a course.

Your girl will thank you because it will force you to have sex a lot slower and it can last for hours. So it's great for her.

And it may seem unsatisfying for you as a guy, but actually that is not true. Having very slow sex for hours is very satisfying and feels great.

Just make sure she's in on it, and agrees to help you not cum, by slowing down whenever you need.

Have a great time!

Thanks, I will look into tantra. Personally I don't enjoy slow sex though. Probably because of my programming by porn use.

[tsuki]

Don't sweat it.

I'm sure that there are waaaaaaaay worse things about you that will scare her off if you tell her. Don't worry, you will tell her. Eventually .

Edited June 28, 2021 by tsuki

[Nahm]

Nothing is wrong with you. At your truest core, you’re unconditional. So believing something is wrong with you (holding beliefs, conditions) veils, yet, ‘what you seek is seeking you’, Rumi. 

Consider the possibility that there are self referential thoughts, yet no separate self, as in other-than-unconditional, is actually being referenced, which is why some thoughts which seem to be about yourself don’t feel good (because they aren’t true). 

If you are to abstain from something, let it be creating suffering. 

[flowboy]

1 hour ago, StarStruck said:

Thanks, I will look into tantra. Personally I don't enjoy slow sex though. Probably because of my programming by porn use.

I understand. However, I strongly advise that you really try to learn to enjoy it. It will be the key to sustaining the state you are trying to achieve with nofap. And to undoing the porn programming. Not having sex is simply unsustainable. Tantric sex is sustainable and awesome once you get the hang of it.

If you do go that route, feel free to ask me anything if you encounter difficulties

Edited June 28, 2021 by flowboy

[StarStruck]

3 hours ago, Nahm said:

Nothing is wrong with you. At your truest core, you’re unconditional. So believing something is wrong with you (holding beliefs, conditions) veils, yet, ‘what you seek is seeking you’, Rumi. 

Consider the possibility that there are self referential thoughts, yet no separate self, as in other-than-unconditional, is actually being referenced, which is why some thoughts which seem to be about yourself don’t feel good (because they aren’t true). 

If you are to abstain from something, let it be creating suffering. 

That truly transcending to read that. I'm aware I need to let go of my outdated self-concepts.

2 hours ago, flowboy said:

I understand. However, I strongly advise that you really try to learn to enjoy it. It will be the key to sustaining the state you are trying to achieve with nofap. And to undoing the porn programming. Not having sex is simply unsustainable. Tantric sex is sustainable and awesome once you get the hang of it.

If you do go that route, feel free to ask me anything if you encounter difficulties

No-fap community says rewiring through having sex with real life girls it the way to heal but currently I'm in the reboot phase. I need to give my brain and nervous system a rest. My dopamine receptors are fucked up and that is why I don't enjoy slow or normal sex.

3 hours ago, tsuki said:

Don't sweat it.

I'm sure that there are waaaaaaaay worse things about you that will scare her off if you tell her. Don't worry, you will tell her. Eventually .

Perhaps holding her off will make her more horny, or perhaps she will think I'm a boon and scoot off. Time will tell.

[Byun Sean]

meh jack off a tiny bit just enough to get hard but not enough to cum so you can confirm your ready and then just do it.

 

You can always get more semen/ sexual energy. This might be a once in a lifetime opportunity for growth and exploration in dating this girl.

 

If you want to complete a 30 day monk mode challenge like the one your doing. In the future, don't date anyone at the

same time. 

 

Edited June 28, 2021 by Byun Sean