Suffering with anxiety...

[RMQualtrough]

Well, "I" am not. My brain is. I understand this very well indeed. And yet here it is.

It is possible to accept myself and the condition my finite brain is afflicted with. And yet it sucks.

It is shocking how much more open I am after even one double vodka shot. Scumbag brain. I am sitting in a bar right now waiting for my friends.

[Nahm]

Accept that there is no condition you could or couldn’t accept. 

[RMQualtrough]

I'm enjoying my night anyway but it sucks my brain isn't comfy without alcohol.

[Carl-Richard]

Are you meditating every day?

[WelcometoReality]

@RMQualtrough Can you inquire into the anxiosness and see what beliefs it is that's causing you this?

[Javfly33]

+1 same

Take some psychedelics maybe and contemplate what is that anxiety.

Ultimately you are imagining your anxiety so you inquire about what is True, it's all an imagination to set a fire to pursue Truth and Awakening, but maybe you are not ready to hear this

[Natasha]

@RMQualtrough

2 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

@RMQualtrough Can you inquire into the anxiosness and see what beliefs it is that's causing you this?

Yes, and step 2 is - take 'yourself' out of that belief, aka dis-identify/detach.

[RMQualtrough]

5 hours ago, WelcometoReality said:

@RMQualtrough Can you inquire into the anxiosness and see what beliefs it is that's causing you this?

Tbh no, I have no idea what causes it. Even on LSD or mushroom analogues no "this is why" has ever popped up, there doesn't really seem to be a cause. It's just been a thing I've lived with for some reason for like, 12 years now (since I was a teen).

It is like getting a blood test or something where, I am fully aware that the feeling is illusory, but it is still there. I am fully aware of what my true nature is (that it isn't = to these things), but still it is there and happening.

So far the best I have been able to do is medication, and also, self acceptance where I just accept the way that I act and feel and carry on with that in place without viewing it as a reflection of my self.

[VeganAwake]

It's interesting how closely related excitement is with anxiety.

if you said I was always excited it wouldn't sound negative.

This whole situation sounds pretty normal to me... it's why drinking has been around for a long time.

[Javfly33]

3 hours ago, RMQualtrough said:

Tbh no, I have no idea what causes it. Even on LSD or mushroom analogues no "this is why" has ever popped up, there doesn't really seem to be a cause. It's just been a thing I've lived with for some reason for like, 12 years now (since I was a teen).

It is like getting a blood test or something where, I am fully aware that the feeling is illusory, but it is still there. I am fully aware of what my true nature is (that it isn't = to these things), but still it is there and happening.

So far the best I have been able to do is medication, and also, self acceptance where I just accept the way that I act and feel and carry on with that in place without viewing it as a reflection of my self.

Like Connor Murphy used to say :

"It's all an act"

For me the reason of anxiety is/was that I think "they" hate me ?

Just throwing it around in case something resonates... But maybe yours is different. 

[Godishere]

It's all survival tactics. The anxiety is there to protect your identity and ultimately your life. It's why most people are not happy; they don't understand it's not just a psychological issue, but a spiritual one. 

Surrender is the key. Being willing to accept any situation and outcome and it will lose its power. I have found for myself that it's not just detachment but acceptance of what is. What is = ideas appearing in consciousness. 

So real world practical advice: stop using crutches such as alcohol/ease up and cut down. Realize your true nature as reality itself and practice surrendering to what you are. 

[kinesin]

@RMQualtrough  I realise that this is a spiritual forum so people are going to answer from a spiritual perspective, but those answers miss the mark.

I have extensive experience with anxiety of various forms - spiritual, cognitive and physical, and I've learned that each needs to be dealt with differently.  As you say that your anxiety doesn't seem to stem from any particular thought or concern, and it's eased by drinking alcohol, it sounds to me like your anxiety is of the physical sort, so allow me to paste a comment I made previously in another thread outlining some information about the mechanism of anxiety in the nervous system and how to treat it at the source.
 

Quote

 

There are actually 2 distinct things which people generally refer to as 'anxiety'.  Cognitive anxiety, and physical arousal.  To clarify, arousal doesn't refer to sexual arousal but simply energetic activity in the nervous system which produces anxiety's physical symptoms such as jitteriness, raised heart rate, fast breathing, sweating etc.  Cognitive anxiety can and often does produce physical arousal, but not all physical arousal is the result of cognitive anxiety.  The first step is to recognise which type of anxiety you're experiencing.  Are you worried or fearful of something in particular which leads to your symptoms, or do the symptoms originate seemingly out of nowhere?  Are they more mental or physical in nature?
If your anxiety is originating in the mind, then meditation techniques aimed at quieting the mind will help.  If your anxiety is arousal based, you need to treat it physiologically.  For this, getting a rough sense of the broad functions of the nervous system is necessary. 

There are really only 4 things you need to know about the nervous system -

1:  The parasympathetic nervous system.  Governs energetically 'down' functions in the body.  Rest and digest mode.

2: The sympathetic nervous system.  Governs energetically 'up' functions in the body.  Fight or flight mode.

3: The vagus nerve is the main nerve which mediates activity between the parasympathetic and sympathetic systems.

4: Respiratory sinus arrhythmia.  Sounds like something bad, but is actually a normal function.  When you take a deep breath in, this activates the vagus nerve and your heart rate increases along with general sympathetic activity.  When you let a deep breath out, this releases pressure on the vagus nerve thereby slowing heartrate and increasing general parasympathetic activity.

Google those terms so you get a bit of a sense of how they work.  The main takeaway from this knowledge is the realization that by controlling your breathing in specific ways, you can directly influence your arousal level.  Don't just take my word for it though, please experiment with your breathing and see for yourself.  Try long, slow inhalations followed by longer, slower exhalations and pay attention to how you begin to feel after 5 or 10 breaths.

This video provides a short and sweet summary -

 

 

[Breakingthewall]

9 hours ago, RMQualtrough said:

, I have no idea what causes it. Even on LSD or mushroom analogues no "this is why" has ever popped up, there doesn't really seem to be a cause

This doesn't mean that the realization will not happen at some point. the ego mind is cunning and knows how to hide in front of your face. At 12 is when you start to worry about how others see you, insecurities, etc. keep digging, mushrooms are a wonderful tool. probably one day you will see ... ah of course, this

[RMQualtrough]

52 minutes ago, kinesin said:

@RMQualtrough  I realise that this is a spiritual forum so people are going to answer from a spiritual perspective, but those answers miss the mark.

I have extensive experience with anxiety of various forms - spiritual, cognitive and physical, and I've learned that each needs to be dealt with differently.  As you say that your anxiety doesn't seem to stem from any particular thought or concern, and it's eased by drinking alcohol, it sounds to me like your anxiety is of the physical sort, so allow me to paste a comment I made previously in another thread outlining some information about the mechanism of anxiety in the nervous system and how to treat it at the source.

Thank you for this m8

[Nahm]

@kinesin

Great info, so well said and clearly explained. 

@RMQualtrough

You can also ‘go a level more subtle’. That ‘I am not but my brain is’, and ‘I’m enjoying my night… but it sucks my brain isn’t comfy’, are subtle beliefs that you are two, which is discordant, given no actuality or direct experience of you ‘being two’ (me & my brain). Same for ‘the condition my finite brain is afflicted with’. You could think of that condition as a belief, feeling for subtle discord each time it is repeated. Likewise, ‘scumbag brain’… source might not be able to join you on that one, so it might feel off… or, Truth might not be able to join in on a thought which isn’t true about you / source. 

It’s possible no accounting of anything else causing it is needed, though there is a lot to be said for momentum and that vagus nerve. Spotting beliefs & seeing through them can take time, but the better feeling for choosing a better thought is always instant and readily available. That ‘my brain’ could be instead thought of as really, downright miraculous. Imo it’s the most interesting ‘thing’ in all of existence. Thoughts of appreciation, of wonder, might resonate. 

You might consider an old paradigm / new paradigm framing. Old paradigm, you’ve experienced this for twelve years. New paradigm, there is only now, you are the space all arises within, and the focus on the thought / belief is the recreating of the same emotional & physiological experience. 

You might also reconsider feeling being illusory. Could very well be a belief / misunderstanding. I can see where this would lead to much confusion. 

I agree with ‘accepting the way I act & feel and carrying on with that in place without viewing it as a reflection of my self’, in the ‘don’t beat up on yourself’ regard. Yet also, changing what thoughts one focuses on doesn’t require any judgement of any previous thoughts, beliefs, or of oneself. That is, we don’t have to suffer or entertain any guilt or shame to change our interpretation and understanding of our experience, feeling, and emotions. If we let it, it can be as easy as ‘this thought just doesn’t resonate’, such as the thoughts about my brain, etc. That might be the cause, which is to say, there is no cause… some thoughts just aren’t in accord with the true nature. 

[RMQualtrough]

@Nahm Thanks mate, I found a great video last night. I'm going to try this along with the breathing:

 

[impulse9]

Get into regular and serious meditation practice. While you're at it, you can try breathing exercises as well, I highly recommend the Wim Hof method, it has worked wonders for me.

[Ry4n]

totally normal dude, try to open yourself up to experience anxiety as you breath through it and show compassion to it (and yourself) and remain present, all the while not judging yourself for such an experience or thinking you are weak for it. This is all a process, none of us are where we want to be. Compassion as an actual daily practice makes so much of a difference.