How to deal with sexual urges

[Preety_India]

During pms,I get strong sexual urges. I don't watch porn. How to deal with these urges? Don't want to have sex.

 

 

[Gregory1]

 

1 hour ago, Preety_India said:

During pms,I get strong sexual urges.

I've sent you a pm! Maybe it helps

[Someone here]

It's called masturbation 

[UDT]

Green Tea

[Preety_India]

37 minutes ago, UDT said:

Green Tea

An explanation might be required here ?

 

[UDT]

EGCG and L-Theanine in green tea passes the blood brain barrier & has a relaxing and calming effect on it.

[Preety_India]

6 hours ago, UDT said:

EGCG and L-Theanine in green tea passes the blood brain barrier & has a relaxing and calming effect on it.

Hey thanks for the info

[RobertZ]

I don't know about PMS, but I had "success" in controlling my sexual urges with sincere belief in damnation for genital activity outside of marriage without contraceptives. 

So, a disciplined resolve worked for me; but experimenting with sex hormones (with a physician) seemed to be more promising and helpful in modulating sexual urges.

Testosterone is a core driver of sexuality inbity men and women. For example, a certain amount of testosterone (e.g., some cream on the arm) can significantly increase a woman's sexual desire.

In my experience, that there is a goldilocks spot, for testosterone, though, for DECREASING sexual urges. Obviously, high testosterone tends to increase sex drive--in a comprehensive sense of "sex drive."

If sex hormones are too low, I get desperate sexual urges (Like the desparate urge to live at the verge of death). If sex hormones get REALLY low, yes, sex goes off the mind--but only due to debilitating feelings of being overwhelmed. So the lowest sex urges occurred when testosterone was not too low. 

 

 

 

Edited June 27, 2021 by RobertZ

[Preety_India]

@RobertZ  is there a way to decrease these hormones naturally and cure the horniness during periods ?

For me it's usually just before the periods when the urge goes kinda high.

 

[Michael569]

I think rather than trying to control and take over this natural biological process, I would advise you to let go of control and ride that wave. 

First of all, I think you can consider yourself being a bit fortunate. The decline of progesterone and oestrogen during the final bit of luteal phase usually makes many women experience depression, cramps, bloating, anger, sadness, acne or just lots of negative symptoms. I think having a spike in libido is actually quite pleasant. 

This is a good time to take a step back, retrospect, practice some gratitude that your body is healthy, fertile and is about to engage in another way of in-house cleaning. Having a healthy menstrual cycle is not always guaranteed and in my opinion is something to be grateful for considering how incredibly important some of these hormones are for your overall health. 

Consume some nice herbal teas, stay away from coffee during this period, eat mostly warming food and some good quality chocolate can be comforting as well. Get a hot water flask and a good book to help you push over this period. 100-300 milligrams of magnesium citrate or glycinate can help if there is pain. 

If the sexual urge starts to interfere with your rational mind....well  there are ways to deal with that 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Michael569 said:

If the sexual urge starts to interfere with your rational mind....well  there are ways to deal with that 

I know it's embarassing but instead of asking my girlfriends who would rather give me an odd look, I prefer to say it here. 

Thanks for taking the time for a detailed explanation full of useful tips on dealing with pms pain.

But the sexual urge has become a real problem. Last time I tried to masturbate to take care of it. But it seems the more I masturbate, the worse it gets, I get more urges, it turns into a vicious cycle. And then I get immediate pain after masturbating. Like menstrual pain right in my tummy. The sexual urges leave me with hot flashes and a feverish feeling. It forces me to masturbate and leaves me feeling a bit annoyed and stressed out. 

After masturbation, I feel like it would be over. But the urge re-emerges the next day the same way the previous day and I start getting sexual thoughts. It interferes with my work, there is no focus and I feel agitated like I need to have sex really bad. Back when I had a boyfriend, I had sex so it took care of it. But I decided not to have sex early on in a relationship and wait till the guy is really good because  in the past having sex with my ex made me feel a lot of regret like I gave my body to a pathetic guy, it left me with a lot of guilt and shame and feelings of unworthiness. I felt like I shouldn't have had sex so early and easily. 

So this time I decided to hold off sex until I feel completely safe around my next boyfriend and until I feel like he is willing to commit and show respect to my body. Till then I will only communicate with them , get to know them for a while and then engage in sex if I feel he is really deserving of my time. 

But till then, even if I have a good partner, it's not like I'm going to have sex all the time. If he is not in the mood then I have to find my own ways and that is masturbating of course.

But masturbating is not easy. If I overdo it, it causes pain from contractions and then agitations.

I'm reaching full orgasms and sometimes multiple orgasms and it is no great favor. It stresses me out. It is relaxing in the moment, Because of endorphins and then I get good sleep the day I masturbate. 

Yet the nightmare of intense urges begins the next day again.

I have been feeling anxiety because of this. I'm dreading my next period.

I also drink soy milk. Before drinking soy milk this never happened. After drinking soy milk, I have begun to experience some changes like breast softness and feeling weird sexually, like a bit stronger sexually than usual. I also saw that the more sugars I eat, these urges intensify that month 

 When I eat less sugars, that month it's a bit low. But taking away sugar completely feels like a nightmare of body weaknesses.

I have gotten such strong urges this month that I have been looking at random men and feeling sexual just looking at them which has caused me to Shame myself for feeling so sexual around men and wanting them so bad.

I have begun to feel feelings of intense shame whenever I feel sexual. 

I have never slept around, except strictly in context of solid relationships and I just don't want my moral integrity to be compromised in any way.

These days the new trend for me is that whenever I see male chest hair I get turned on really quickly and I feel very ashamed about it because it could be any random male whose shirt is slightly unbuttoned and that turns me on and then I begin to guilt myself later for feeling horny about it. 

This is first thing these sexual urges have done so far. Now I don't know how much more horny it's going to make me, I don't want to reach a stage where I simply look at a man and get horny. That would be super awkward and kinda shameful 

I don't know how to go around this whole female sexuality thing that has suddenly made me have intense arousals. Never happened before. I took a break from relationships and it seems that I have been going through some kind of mental sexual withdrawals where not getting sex has charged the body with intense chemicals. I never felt before that female sexuality was this intense. And now I see the ugly side of it. A jacking up of female hormones and increase in female horniness is a pathetic nightmare. 

I never felt so extra horny before. So I never realized the nightmare waiting for me. And now with these intense urges, my sexuality is turning very wild and crazy. Like I want a man in bed really bad. But this leaves me with guilt because I just don't want it mentally yet my body keeps orgasming and wanting it.

 

[Preety_India]

2 hours ago, Michael569 said:

I think rather than trying to control and take over this natural biological process, I would advise you to let go of control and ride that wave. 

First of all, I think you can consider yourself being a bit fortunate. The decline of progesterone and oestrogen during the final bit of luteal phase usually makes many women experience depression, cramps, bloating, anger, sadness, acne or just lots of negative symptoms. I think having a spike in libido is actually quite pleasant. 

This is a good time to take a step back, retrospect, practice some gratitude that your body is healthy, fertile and is about to engage in another way of in-house cleaning. Having a healthy menstrual cycle is not always guaranteed and in my opinion is something to be grateful for considering how incredibly important some of these hormones are for your overall health. 

Consume some nice herbal teas, stay away from coffee during this period, eat mostly warming food and some good quality chocolate can be comforting as well. Get a hot water flask and a good book to help you push over this period. 100-300 milligrams of magnesium citrate or glycinate can help if there is pain. 

If the sexual urge starts to interfere with your rational mind....well  there are ways to deal with that 

Thanks for being open minded enough to take me seriously and help me although it doesn't really fix the issue.

 

[Michael569]

@Preety_India there are many women who do something called "menstrual coaching or period coaching". Basically, these ladies specialise in the management of PMS, they explain how the cycle works and how to adjust one's lifestyle. Many can be found on Instagram and maybe you could connect with someone like that. 

If you can find it, you may try experimenting with Agnus Castus extract as well ass something like red clover. Either that or finding a local herbalist to have a chat with, herbs can work really well on hormonal balance. 

But other than that, journaling may offer some help in exploring these urges and feelings. 

[Preety_India]

@Michael569 thank you so much.im already journaling about this. Also mentioned you in my journal. I will sometimes report to you if I see some changes.

 

 

[Michael569]

@Preety_India cool beans ?

Don't forget the body always knows what it is doing. Ride the wave and let go of control, savour the feeling of being alive. 

[Windappreciator]

God, humans are a mess full of vulnerabilities and issues and chaotic priorities struggling to survive their own harm.

Edited June 28, 2021 by Windappreciator

[Eternity]

Cramping after masturbating  is not really normal.  My sister spent 20 years trying to find out what was wrong with her.  She had gastro intestinal problems as well that were disrupting her ability to function.  It got slowly worse over time so that she had pain with sex, and couldn't have sex with her husband even though her sex drive was still there, but when you have pain with sex, that becomes an issue for you.  She got very bloated with her periods.  Every gyno she saw brushed it all off as just part of being female.  Now I'm not a doctor so I'm not trying to diagnose you and I don't want to scare you, this is not fatal and it's not the big "C".  But it just reminded me what my sister went through.  Even good gynocologists rarely even bring this up because the only way to diagnose it is to have surgery, but a specialist is more likely to know to some degree if you have symptoms.  It's called endometriosis.  There are very few specialists in the world because it is hard to diagnose.  My sister is relieved that the specialist finally found it and did robotic laproscopic surgery, but she is  very angry that other gynos she saw didn't mention anything and she suffered needlessly.  She even tried holistic doctors. It has vague symptoms and actually once it starts in the abdomen, it can spread to any organ in the body including the heart.  Here is a link for a page set up by a Practical Nurse who is in the field to inform women where to find help, and provides a support group, women who have had it and who their doctor was:  https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/endoawarenessmonth

[Preety_India]

@Eternity it's more like pain in the vaginal tract because of contractions and some soreness.

 

[integral]

1) Awareness

2) Conscious command

3) Body Movement 

Edited June 30, 2021 by integral

[Preety_India]

@integral thanks for the video. Will watch.