A guy is hitting on me...hard

[Heart of Space]

Some gay guys are super thirsty.  If you've expressed that you don't want him to do that, acting that way is not cool.  

Girls deal with this kind of behavior all the time.  It's basic creep behavior, which knows no particular preference.  

@Preety_India I get why you would say that, because girls are preyed on in this manner.  But it's a bit different with a gay guy and a grown man.  I bet that @ivankiss doesn't feel threatened by this guy in that he probably doesn't feel in danger.  I just wouldn't go drinking with this guy, because he could try to date rape you.  Don't report him to the police unless there is a really good reason to.  That's my opinion.  

[ivankiss]

@Heart of Space Very well put. Thanks.

[Preety_India]

@Heart of Space that I understood now. Thanks

[Heart of Space]

2 hours ago, ivankiss said:

@Heart of Space Very well put. Thanks.

It is the word of God.  

[Emerald]

12 hours ago, ivankiss said:

It's getting a bit too awkward. Even for a chill guy like me.

This is not the first time I'm being approached by a guy. And every time it's the same.

They try to convince me that I should try dick. Because 'guys know what guys like' and 'how can you know you don't like it if you don't try it'...

I just know, ok? I want nothing at all to do with another man's dick.

Like, I don't feel gay or bi, at all.

I love girls. A lot.

I can appreciate a good-looking guy.. I'm not afraid of saying that... but that's about it. No touching, no kissing, licking or blowing... let alone fucking.

Just no.

But here's the thing... I wouldn't mind having a gay friend. In that sense; I can kinda dig that gay vibe. Just don't want anything sexual.

I communicated this to him, and he understood what I'm saying. Or so I thought...

Now he's being pushy again. Trying to get me to send him pics/vids of my dick or me having sex with other girls... So yeah. Awkward.

Anyone delt with this kind of stuff before?

This is sexual harassment. You should set a firm boundary. And if he keeps pressuring you, you should cut him off.

Lots of women have to do this when straight men don't respect the boundaries. And it's not wise to keep tolerating the behavior.

I'd imagine that this isn't something that you're used to having to do as this probably doesn't happen too often where men are trying to go over your sexual boundaries. 

But you might have to cut this guy off from friendship if he doesn't stop. 

[Applegarden8]

Must be those djent vibes?

Yeah you should tell him that you know better whom should you have sex with. I have heard that there is anyway a lot of sexual harrasment/misconduct in homo interactions.

[Eternity]

I had a woman do this to me.  I'd met her in an online game, so it wasn't like I'd met her in real.  She was funny and we'd hang out cracking jokes.  I liked her sense of humor.  But then eventually she came out and asked me if I'd ever consider going lesbian.  At first I was trying to be cool and laugh it off, but she wouldn't quit.  She gave me all the usual reasons like she could give me more pleasure and all that b.s.  So I finally told her she was a nice person and funny as hell, but that sexy play was never ever going to happen, and just take my word for it.  So after that she just disappeared offline.  Kinda a shame 'cause she was really funny.

But I had a bff in high school who I didn't know was  bi, until one night when we went camping together and she insisted we try girl on girl.  I can't even tell you how uncomfortable and awkward that experiment was.  I hated it.  I'd been dreaming of having a bf and all of a sudden I was being molested by my bff.  Blech Blech Blech.  So I really meant it when I said to the online girl, it wasn't going to happen, ever, never, ever.

[mivafofa]

On 25/06/2021 at 11:45 AM, ivankiss said:

Holy shit! 

So this is how it's like for the majority of girls...

Shit... Maybe that's what I'm being led to integrate now. Fuck that went deep quick.

LOL that was my first thought when reading your first post ? "Hum.. sounds like what I and other women get on a regular basis?" One would've thought because I'm a woman I'd be less grossed out, but I'm just as disgusted as you are, each time.  It's so funny 'cause here you are hoping and trying to friendzone him ? And he planning to get out of the zone with sexual harassment. Now your hope for friendship or casual buddy is forced to abruptly end with a block. ? Sry I'm laughing I actually really empathize with you! Ahahaha

[flowboy]

On 25-6-2021 at 5:21 PM, Preety_India said:

Imagine how much harm he can do to other people. So he must be reported to the police 

"Harm" and "assault" are really a stretch. Let's not be dramatic. Like the OP said, he feels irritated. That's not the same as harmed.

@ivankiss Looks like you have trouble speaking up for yourself in this situation, so this is a fine opportunity to practice it. Tell this dude exactly what you think of his behavior and that you will not tolerate it.

If he's still going, you didn't find your anger yet. Say it like you mean it and it will work.

Edited June 26, 2021 by flowboy

[RendHeaven]

lol. first time?

[Preety_India]

@flowboy gotcha

[ivankiss]

Thank guys.

I think he got the message. He seems like a dude that can be reasoned with. I'm not planning on being too close to him. But I would not like to be forced to avoid him or feel uncomfortable around him either. I know he won't stop coming to our coffee shop. And I'm planning on working there a bit longer. So yeah... I think I can keep control over this situation. He tried to convince me, but now he just keeps running into a wall. I simply stopped responding to any inappropriate text. 

However; I'm well aware things might not end here. If he comes back pushing stronger I might have to become real serious and raise my voice. Hopefully that won't turn him on even more  

[The0Self]

Just be assertive and self respecting and make your boundaries known — forcefully if needed, but without judgement.

[Windappreciator]

How are you going to achieve further entlightenment if you keep living with the unconscious denial of not being attracted to men. You gotta break that boundary.

Edited July 1, 2021 by Windappreciator

[RendHeaven]

3 hours ago, Windappreciator said:

How are you going to achieve further entlightenment if you keep living with the unconscious denial of not being attracted to men. You gotta break that boundary.

Yes, but that doesn't mean you spontaneously spread your asscheeks for the next gay guy to hit on you lmao. "For Enlightenment" haha

[Windappreciator]

1 hour ago, RendHeaven said:

Yes, but that doesn't mean you spontaneously spread your asscheeks for the next gay guy to hit on you lmao. "For Enlightenment" haha

Hehe, funny guy. 

[ivankiss]

@Windappreciator Haha say what now?

You think I must eat dick if I want to be fully enlightened? 

[Windappreciator]

@ivankiss @ivankiss Well one doesn't, but you probably need to.

[mivafofa]

My, why stop at men? Be fully enlightened and explore zoophilia~ break all boundaries. Yknow what forget living beings! The chair and the cloth hanger are all but One, and one step away from reaching enlightenment. True Nirvana. You were unconsciously denying your desire for these chairs, TV remote, door knobs and what not, didn't you know? Now you know. Be free my friend~

[Windappreciator]

@mivafofa @ivankiss if that helps you, go ahead. But make sure there is consent.

We aint gotta rape nobody.

Edited July 2, 2021 by Windappreciator