A guy is hitting on me...hard

[ivankiss]

It's getting a bit too awkward. Even for a chill guy like me.

This is not the first time I'm being approached by a guy. And every time it's the same.

They try to convince me that I should try dick. Because 'guys know what guys like' and 'how can you know you don't like it if you don't try it'...

I just know, ok? I want nothing at all to do with another man's dick.

Like, I don't feel gay or bi, at all.

I love girls. A lot.

I can appreciate a good-looking guy.. I'm not afraid of saying that... but that's about it. No touching, no kissing, licking or blowing... let alone fucking.

Just no.

But here's the thing... I wouldn't mind having a gay friend. In that sense; I can kinda dig that gay vibe. Just don't want anything sexual.

I communicated this to him, and he understood what I'm saying. Or so I thought...

Now he's being pushy again. Trying to get me to send him pics/vids of my dick or me having sex with other girls... So yeah. Awkward.

Anyone delt with this kind of stuff before?

[MatteO22]

@ivankiss I’m sorry boo… I’ll stop. I didn’t know it was such a big deal for you…

apologies. Byeeee

[ivankiss]

@MatteO22 dude! 

[Preety_India]

He is sexually assaulting you.

You could report him to the police or block him from your life in some way.

Best is to report to the police.

 

 

[MatteO22]

@ivankiss for real though this is about respecting your ‘no’ and your boundaries. And his unwanted advances should not be tolerated, so Id just say a hard No, and if that’s not respected I’d consider terminating that relationship in the name of self-respect. 
 

ps: unless there’s more to the story then he’s certainly, but certainly not sexually assaulting you. Asking for nudes isn’t a criminal behaviour as far as I’m aware, unless you’re a minor… which I think and hope you’re not ? Unless we’re all here being catfished and you’re actually 12. 

[ivankiss]

@Preety_India Yeah, I guess you're right... but I don't feel assaulted, really. More like irritated. Annoyed.

At first it was a bit flattering. Now it's becoming a pain in the ass. No pun intended 

[ivankiss]

@MatteO22 Haha, no, I don't smell anything criminal here. Just a gay dude trying to fuck a straight dude  it's awkward. That's it.

But yeah, if he keeps crossing the line I'll have to cut him out completely.

I barely know the guy. He is a regular at our coffee shop. I think he's cool and fun to be around. But this sexual stuff might be in the way of a potential friendship.

I'm 27 btw. He's in his early 30s.

[Preety_India]

@ivankiss in any case if you feel harassed, you should approach the police.

Not respecting someone's sexual boundaries is sexual harassment.

A woman who gets constant non stop sexual advances from a man is considered sexual harassment, right? Especially when she tells him No. Then she files a complaint with the police.

The same way. I would classify what he is doing as sexual harassment that can easily proceed to an assault if he gets an opportunity. 

Imagine how much harm he can do to other people. So he must be reported to the police 

I don't know but I'm taking the whole description of your account very seriously.

I would have felt extremely distressed in your shoes.

I have zero tolerance for anyone breaking sexual boundaries and constant persistence.

I don't know about you but it would have caused me significant mental distress and sense of threat.

 

Edited June 25, 2021 by Preety_India

[ivankiss]

@Preety_India I understand where you're coming from. And there is definitely a time and a space for taking those steps.

But I don't feel like that's so in my case. Not at all. I also doubt it will escalate to that point.

I'm pretty confident I can solve this issue in a chill way. No drama.

Edited June 25, 2021 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

Holy shit! 

So this is how it's like for the majority of girls...

Shit... Maybe that's what I'm being led to integrate now. Fuck that went deep quick.

[Nos7algiK]

I've had this happen a few times in my past. It almost always results in me cutting the person out of my life because they refuse to accept I never would do anything with a guy. It's not good to carry on relationships where someone is lusting over you while the feeling isn't mutual. I would also cut a woman out of my life if she was acting the same way and wasn't respecting my boundaries. I don't blame people for attempting to make moves on someone. But, an issue arises when they don't listen to your wishes time and time again. Generally speaking this type of persistence will not stop.

[Etherial Cat]

At this point, you might as well want to block him and give him the minimum treatment If he comes back to your workplace.

That person is dancing over your boundaries, not giving a flying fuck about what you've told him so far.

It's likely this dynamic will persist.

[ivankiss]

@Nos7algiK @Etherial Cat Wise words. Been having pretty much the same thoughts.

Thanks!

[Etherial Cat]

4 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Holy shit! 

So this is how it's like for the majority of girls...

Shit... Maybe that's what I'm being led to integrate now. Fuck that went deep quick.

In a nutshell, very much so. But you don't have 1 of them. You've got hundreds If not thousands from puberty to losing your attractivity. ?

And they are everywhere. From your boss potentially to the guy in the street corner. ?

 

[ivankiss]

@Etherial Cat Well that's just fucking sick.

I am struggling to digest this now. I cannot even imagine how bad it must be to walk in their shoes.

Let alone heels. Those must suck too 

[ivankiss]

Ok, apparently, he's not totally gay. He's bisexual.

Now he wants me to have a threesome with a girl he's seeing  

[Etherial Cat]

12 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Ok, apparently, he's not totally gay. He's bisexual.

Now he wants me to have a threesome with a girl he's seeing  

Bruh. That's a trick to have you naked in a bed.

The girl is a bait. ?

29 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@Etherial Cat Well that's just fucking sick.

I am struggling to digest this now. I cannot even imagine how bad it must be to walk in their shoes.

Let alone heels. Those must suck too 

Heels are attrocious. You should try them for a day and let me know what you think of this torture device. ?

[ivankiss]

12 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Bruh. That's a trick to have you naked in a bed.

The girl is a bait. ?

Yup, it's pretty obvious. I rejected the offer immediately, of course  This one time I was actually in a spontaneous threesome with a very good friend of mine. It was kinda brief, but also cool and not that awkward, at all. And we avoided each-outher's dicks - big time  No gay activity whatsoever.

So yeah, I'm not 100% against it, I guess. But it's a strong no in this situation.

12 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Heels are attrocious. You should try them for a day and let me know what you think of this torture device. ?

I tried them for a few minutes in the past.

Not fun, at all. But the view is nice from up there 

Edited June 25, 2021 by ivankiss

[Etherial Cat]

5 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

Yup, it's pretty obvious. I rejected the offer immediately, of course .This one time I was actually in a spontaneous threesome with a very good friend of mine. It was kinda brief, but also cool and not that awkward, at all. And we avoided each-outher's dicks - big time.

What a Chad. ??

9 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

But it's a strong no in this situation.

You bet! ?

 

10 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

I tried them for a few minutes in the past.

Not fun, at all. But the view is nice from up there 

Minutes? Poor innocent soul. The real pain kicks in after hours. ?

 

[ivankiss]

9 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

What a Chad. ??

I prefer two girls 

9 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Minutes? Poor innocent soul. The real pain kicks in after hours. ?

What can I say... Some seek pleasure in pain 

Edited June 25, 2021 by ivankiss