Cold Approach Pick Up

[John]

I'm still terrified of the cold approach.

I work in a busy service environment where it is easy for me to practice breaking out of my shell. And I find myself out of that shell more and more now. Simple things like commenting on someone's outfit or helping someone with a query are routine occurrences. Especially if there is an attractive girl, I am able to introduce some flirtation into the mix. But given that I'm at work, it's hard to really escalate to a number close.

However I do find my introversion to be a powerful magnet. It sucks me back in and says that my successful interactions were isolated events, not to be trusted..

And I'm wondering, would people recommend doing the thousands of pure cold approaches Leo has recommended before? I.e. Taking it on as a project where I do ten a day or something for a couple of weeks? That's a lot of emotional turmoil for me.. 

Have people found this endeavor to remove them from their shells completely? Perhaps all I need is more time for my introversion to naturally fall away.. Because the cold approaching still seems so foreign and alien and petrifying to me!

[Schulzy]

Youd have to do it for like 15 weeks if you want 1000 approaches.  But i think it seems petrifying to you because of low self confidence not because of introversion. So work on your confidence not just getting quota of 10 approaches a day.

So yes, its true, you need some more time. Try to act confident and after awhile it will become second nature if people treat you as a confident person. At first it will be really difficult but you will have to push it. Fake it til you make it.

[Bob84]

@John Either that of stop predicting the future. Your future prediction skills suck. Most of the time something completely different happens from what you makeup in your mind. Am i right?

[poimandres]

Start with smaller goals than approaching women. Introduce yourself to random strangers (however many it takes until you feel like it's no longer a challenge).  

You can literally develop a script, "Hi, I'm trying to be more extroverted and I wanted to introduce myself, I'm John."  Then say "Thanks for letting me introduce myself, have a great day."  Walk away. You will more than likely never see this person again, ever.

This builds you up to approaching women once you get confident in approaching random people.  I'd start on a public train, or bus, grocery store, etc. where you can exit quickly and give the opposite person a way out as well in case they feel "awkward".

If you don't start some action, "waiting for your introversion to disappear" will never happen.

Edited November 14, 2016 by agnosis

[Frogfucius]

It's mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter. Throw your ego to the fire! Force it to melt!

I honestly need to work on this as well. My whole life, I've cared what people have thought. I'd have regrets over what I have said or done. I'm caring less and less as time goes on, and thanks in large part to awareness. I'm going to die, anyways. All emotions, thoughts, and experiences will long be forgotten for eternity, anyways. Why do I care so fucking much about getting rejected or blown off?

Edited November 15, 2016 by Frogfucius

[aurum]

A question about cold approach...of course I gotta get in this mix

I've done 1000's of approaches at this point and the benefits were shocking. I'm talking in just a COUPLE MONTHS, your range of what you would have considered socially possible for you could be astronomically different.

Likewise, I've seen tons of guys go through the same process and have gotten similar results. So it's not just me.

That being said, success in this area is probably not what you think.

Guys have this idea that getting good at cold approach means that all your social problems will be solved. They think they'll NEVER get rejected again. Or they'll never feel socially awkward and everyone will love them.

But that hasn't happened for me. Everyone makes mistakes.

In essence, just like anything else, you'll get out of cold approach what you put in. If you just go out for a month, don't study the theory, don't breakdown your interactions, don't work on yourself outside of game, you probably you won't see a ton of change.

But if you do put the work in...wow. It's powerful shit.

 

 

 

 

[Lynnel]

@John

On 14/11/2016 at 2:19 AM, John said:

And I'm wondering, would people recommend doing the thousands of pure cold approaches Leo has recommended before? I.e. Taking it on as a project where I do ten a day or something for a couple of weeks? That's a lot of emotional turmoil for me.. 

Have people found this endeavor to remove them from their shells completely? Perhaps all I need is more time for my introversion to naturally fall away.. Because the cold approaching still seems so foreign and alien and petrifying to me!

You need emotion turmoil to change and you need to process it effectively, e.g. approaching a girl or two a day, keeping in mind that consistency is way more important than the amount.

It changes you in a lot of different ways - all of them being positive - shocking benefits as @aurum stated, and he's god damn right. Your introversion will never fall away by itself, and you will need to work and hammer on it until you succeed.

[SFRL]

On 11/14/2016 at 8:19 PM, John said:

I'm still terrified of the cold approach.

I work in a busy service environment where it is easy for me to practice breaking out of my shell. And I find myself out of that shell more and more now. Simple things like commenting on someone's outfit or helping someone with a query are routine occurrences. Especially if there is an attractive girl, I am able to introduce some flirtation into the mix. But given that I'm at work, it's hard to really escalate to a number close.

However I do find my introversion to be a powerful magnet. It sucks me back in and says that my successful interactions were isolated events, not to be trusted..

And I'm wondering, would people recommend doing the thousands of pure cold approaches Leo has recommended before? I.e. Taking it on as a project where I do ten a day or something for a couple of weeks? That's a lot of emotional turmoil for me.. 

Have people found this endeavor to remove them from their shells completely? Perhaps all I need is more time for my introversion to naturally fall away.. Because the cold approaching still seems so foreign and alien and petrifying to me!

An good alternative to doing cold approaches is online dating. Tinder, POF, Match, etc.

The thing is you get to approach many many women. Some may reject you, or never get back to you when you message them. 

But there will be women that do come back to you, and you can practice lines, jokes, and other conversation techniques and topics with women in a setting where rejection won't be as unnerving. 

And when everything goes well you can land some dates of course. And that will get you a lot of good experience with women. The more experience you have the more relaxed you will become about it all. 

Edited November 18, 2016 by STC